While I can see the fantasy value in threesomes particularly, it's not something I could ever envisage doing. Like a few before me, I'm of the opinion that sex and intimacy are something to be shared between two and again - shattering that bisexual myth - my bi-curious girlfriend also believes it should only be a one-on-one experience and that we both feel we don't want to share ourselves with anyone else but each other.
I'm sure there are a number of people who get involved in threesomes and gangbangs and have an amazing experience; I can only imagine that those who take part are also in stable, committed relationships are in the minority, but of course, I may well be wrong. I'm certain at least that it must take people of a certain mentality and who have absolute confidence in themselves and their relationships to be able to indulge, without things turning sour.
Either way, the general consensus seems to be that unless you're absolutely 100% about going ahead with it, perhaps it's better to leave the experience to your imagination. One that I'd certainly subscribe to.
I have to say I've never seen the attraction of a threesome
I can understand it, but it holds no interest for me , its all I can do to keep up with my little lady when she is feeling motivated let alone involve some one else , and Im dont think I could handle seeing her with another Male freind,
Im not the jealous type but things can switch so easily a single thought can sit there in the back of your brain and fester, grow and slowly without know take over.
If you are not sure and not comfortable, then say no.
Taking that next step in adding more people, you need to be 100% trusting and confident in each other, otherwise it can go tits up.
I would take a gang bang off the table, defo not something for a couple who haven't added an extra into the bedroom before.
You need to outline the rules, before entering into a 3sum. For me, anything goes, as long as he didn't have sexual intercourse with her, he could do anal but no to the foo foo...........that was my desserts.
Also, having a 3sum isn't a green light for either party to go out and cheat, it is an agreed event.
If it is something you want to do, plan it, discuss do's and don't, I would count out anyone either of you know, as it gets awkward. Join websites that are designed to find an extra person or 3sums and browse through what you like.
When setting up a first meet, don't have sex on the cards right away. Treat it as a date, meal/wine/chat and if you hit it off, then go for it.
Some fantasies are best kept as fantasies. Having had a threesome in the past I can confirm that it is not like in porn. The genital logistics and gymnastics had my back out and thighs sore for days after. There is a finite amount of attention you can give a partner during sex let alone two or more. Aim for quality over quantity. Maybe try experimenting with the fantasy blindfolded with toys?
Some fantasies are better off remaining a fantasy, and 50/50 is not strong enough to go for it, imo - I have no problem with threesomes and moresomes, whether in a relationship or not, but what I do know is that if a couple isn't rock solid beforehand, with no jealousy issues whatsoever, it causes enormous damage and emotional fall out.
You say your partner has done it before, but then in a later post, you say neither of you have any idea how to arrange it - surely he could do what he did last time to set it up? If you're looking for another woman, you'll probably be in for something of a wait - single men are (much) easier to find - but be prepared for a lot of talking and no action, and also timewasters: there's a lot of people with eyes bigger than their bellies when it comes to this sort of thing, so it's always better to arrange to meet for a coffee first, with the expectation that if you get on, you'll meet on another occasion to hook up. That way at least you get a coffee and aren't out a hotel room too ;-)
You might find it easier to go to a club - at least everyone knows what they are there for, though this isn't a guarantee anything will happen: and probably, your first night you shouldn't really expect anything much - best to go a few times and get comfortable and to know people a little. I don't know if I can mention names, but there's quite a famous club in Sheffield, and on their site they have a brilliant guide to swinging - well worth a read before you get into threesomes, even if you decide not to go down the club route.
But why not start with some fantasy? Blindfold you partner, and tell him one of your friends will be joining you - but only if he doesn't peek. Then, vary your normal routine - wear a different outfit, put different perfume on one side of your neck, whatever - just to help create the illusion there's someone else present. Or have him do the same to you. But really - go slowly: it's a very, very unusual couple that this works equally for, and more often than not, it causes a lot of harm, both to individuals and the relationship - communication is key, and so is preparation.
While I can see the fantasy value in threesomes particularly, it's not something I could ever envisage doing. Like a few before me, I'm of the opinion that sex and intimacy are something to be shared between two and again - shattering that bisexual myth - my bi-curious girlfriend also believes it should only be a one-on-one experience and that we both feel we don't want to share ourselves with anyone else but each other.
I'm sure there are a number of people who get involved in threesomes and gangbangs and have an amazing experience; I can only imagine that those who take part are also in stable, committed relationships are in the minority, but of course, I may well be wrong. I'm certain at least that it must take people of a certain mentality and who have absolute confidence in themselves and their relationships to be able to indulge, without things turning sour.
Either way, the general consensus seems to be that unless you're absolutely 100% about going ahead with it, perhaps it's better to leave the experience to your imagination. One that I'd certainly subscribe to.
My wife and i talked about her having gangbangs. She decided she would find all the men. Whether she advertised or not. I don't know. She just said. "I have my ways." Watching her with 8 men was a real turn on for me.
That was nearly a year ago. She still has at least 4 gangbangs a week. The only problem is i think she is becoming addicted. She keeps saying she needs more men.
OH and I often have a threesome - always with the same M third person - and it's just enriched our sex lives generally. The third is a mate of mine and there's no sexual attraction with my OH - it's just for fun.
The one thing that makes it fun is making sure it is just for fun and that we can do anything we want. Condoms are a pre-requisite at all times too. I'd consider myself straight but with all the permutations that take place during a session, I've penetrated my mate, and sucked him off - both of which send my OH wild beyond imaging. Only other thing I would say is be prepared for a long session - threesomes go on for hours with just short breaks!