I’ve always been the one who tries to develop a relationship; the one who ‘chases’ others.
I’d really like to be chased, to be wooed, and flirted with. How do I get to that?
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I think the key is setting boundaries and allowing others the space to come to you. You deserve to be pursued, appreciated, and wooed like anyone else. The right people will see your worth and naturally want to make that effort. Just don’t settle for anything less than what makes you feel valued
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@Natalie I feel you on this one.
Just thoughts/q’s … are you asking how to get anyone to pursue in general, or how to get someone specific that you’re into to chase you?
What’s the caliber of person you’re wanting to pursue you? Most of the time we pursue others who we view as ‘higher value’. Think terms like ‘punching’. It’s hard to get people to pursue downwards in terms of said value … even if I do hate saying it.
I wonder too if you do actually have had people pursue you but because you’re not interested in them, you don’t see the pursuing happening … or you shut it down because you’re not keen?
I like what Matt has said about allowing space for others to enter in to. Really good point.
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You come across as a really nice person, I’ll bet there’s quite a few people with their eye on you that you don’t even know about. Maybe you need to drop subtle hints that you want to be chased to the potential wooers. Be patient and wait for them to chase you, if they’re keen they’ll do it
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That’s like saying Jeffrey Dahmer had a nice telephone voice.
But to the OP, judging by your posts, you’re married? Possibly a parent? If that’s the case, your wooing and flirting days are over.
@AJ82, Thanks - I have been married in the past, not anymore however.
I would hope that my days of relationships are far from over.
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I appreciate your kindness. I’m not specifically looking to ‘win someone over’ at the moment. However, I have always found myself being a good ‘friendzone’ candiate. I guess it would nice if, at somepoint, my qualities were worth chasing.
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I know what you mean @Natalie , I’ve been lucky enough (when I was a lot younger
) to be chased by quite a lot of girls in my time and that feeling of knowing someone wants you is a big boost. Some of them I let in and had relationships with and some I didn’t, but the ones I didn’t just kept trying harder, so playing hard to get is definitely something that works but it’s risky if you want that person.
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Being nice to others has always been how I’ve landed myself up in trouble, as in, “you’re lovely but I’m not interested” trouble 
But that’s another kettle of fish, and I’m still trying to determine what my “type” is.
@Natalie, for me, as a woman who refuses to chase others, it was always abouf expressing interest but never being overinterested. Flirt and be nice, but don’t chase and pester, even if you really want to speak to them again. Be busy, almost too busy, but don’t ignore people if they speak to you. Be interesting, do things but don’t talk about them, just do them. Be a little bit mysterious - mysterious is sexy. Don’t play mind games: people lose interest very fast if you start playing games with them.
Lastly, dress well and maintain personal hygiene. People are more inclined to want to know what’s inside if the wrapper looks good 
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Thanks @Hornycd - I appreciate your encouragement. I have been finding it a little hard recently.
@Tenshadesandme, you speak with wisdom. I care a lot about others, and often what others think and feel… and then what others think about me. It can be difficult to focus more on oneself but I understand that by being strong and independent, it can be desirable for others. 
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Being strong and independent is definitely an attractive quality, and maybe that’s what it is. I realised recently that I’m quite possibly a sigma female; it’s not something that I try to be and it’s not an act that I put on, it’s just the way I am. I sometimes hate the attention that it gets me, mostly because I’m sick of either a) unavailable people expressing an interest in me (putting me on a pedestal) or b) toxic people taking an interest in me and playing mind games with me to try and manipulate me into chasing them. Not sure if you’ve read my post regarding my neighbour (apologies if you have!), he’s one such example of me wishing my strong-willed ass wasn’t so damned desirable sometimes, but I can’t change who I am and nor would I want to 
I should add a caveat here: Being strong is not about being emotionless. There is nothing wrong with having emotions, with needing to cry, journal, vent etc. Strength is about being able to manage and process your emotions in a healthy way, it is not about not having them
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