So, my parcel should have arrived today and I was a little disappointed when it didn't.
I didnt think much of it though, perhaps it was just late?
This evening, I was fast asleep and suddently I sat bolt upright in bed with the anxious feeling I had to check on my parcel. I thought it must have been a dream or something, but seeing as I was awake I ldecided to log on to Royal Mail.
Strangely said my packages (yes, two,, I'm greedy) had been delivered.
Well, I certainly hadn't had them.
Next I checked my LH invoice and then the horrifying moment of realisation dawned on me.
I had put 107 as my house number, not 170 where I actually live.
My brain was in a frenzy, what if they steal my parcel, what if they OPEN my parcel, what if I never get my parcel....WHAT IF THEY OPEN MY PARCEL....!!!
I had these awful images of a lovely old couple being confused and opening it to see where to send it back to and being greeted with an 8 inch dildo, vibrators and jiggle balls.
The panic was rising! It was after 11pm. What could I do?! I could write a note....
I wrote a note....
I put my coat on and some shoes (just a coat and shoes I might add) and ventured out into the night. The streets were dead, everyone was asleep.
(In hindsight this nudity was probably a bad idea and I would like to point out it was a long coat thank you very much...)
As I was approaching the intimidating number 107 note in hand it was well after 11pm).
I was just about to put the note through the letterbox when at that very second a voice behind me said: "Excuse me, what are you doing?"...
I turned round to find a lady standing there keys in hand. It was her house...
I rapidly explained the mix up, desperately trying not to word-vomit out the words 'dildo' and 'sex toys'...Thankfully, I managed the explanation without over indulging this woman with too much information.
DOUBLE THANKFULLY, she had missed the parcels and I hurried back home with my delivery notes ready to arrange for them to be sent out again...THIS TIME TO THE CORRECT ADDRESS!
I would like to thank fate, destiny, subconscious or coincidence for their hand in this event.
I can now go back to sleep, and enjoy sweet dreams knowing EXACTLY where my parcels are and that no one (but y'all) has discovered my saucy secret!
I sent mine to my old address once. I hadn't changed the details on the LH account when I moved. I literally sat out side my old house for three hours until the post man arrived and then snatched it off him
That is brilliant Ruby_Alexa. Well, obviously, terrible, but an excellent story.
Worst I did was not update DVLA with new address, tax disk gets sent to old address (where new occupants were on holiday) and one of my neighbours calls the police to tell them my tax disk is out of date. Thankfully, the police were very understanding. I never did find out who rang them.
My parcel was left at a neighbours house today, I panicked that she would google the name, so as she handed me the box I blurted out "it's for my sisters hen party" haha! Not that she even asked!!
ooppss I would panic i have a nosey neighbour who takes all my parcels if the post man will let her and touch wood so far she has never asked what is inside the brown box lol
Never had a typo and items delivered to the wrong address but my elderly next door neighbour often signs for my parcels that are delivered while I am at work. If only he had any idea of what those from Lovehoney contained! Fortunately he doesn't have access to the internet so probably has no idea who forbidden phrase are. I always think that I have to have an answer to the question 'what's in the parcel?' before I go and collect it from him. I am running out of alternative products that I may have ordered over the internet but fortunately he rarely asks the question and just hands over the innocent looking package without comment. Now I worry that he actually knows what's inside and that's why he doesn't say anything, talk about being paranoid!!
Our postie always looks frightfully embarassed when he delivers a box from Lovehoney so I guess he's a shy customer of theirs too. Either that or the leather whip I answer the door holding just terrifies him
Never had a typo and items delivered to the wrong address but my elderly next door neighbour often signs for my parcels that are delivered while I am at work. If only he had any idea of what those from Lovehoney contained! Fortunately he doesn't have access to the internet so probably has no idea who forbidden phrase are. I always think that I have to have an answer to the question 'what's in the parcel?' before I go and collect it from him. I am running out of alternative products that I may have ordered over the internet but fortunately he rarely asks the question and just hands over the innocent looking package without comment. Now I worry that he actually knows what's inside and that's why he doesn't say anything, talk about being paranoid!!
*Edited by mod to remove forbidden phrase
Lovehoney's own trade name is a 'forbidden phrase' ? How odd, it's mentioned several times on the video about plain discreet packaging - perhaps it should be removed from there too? Obviously I have not mentioned it again now!
Its because everytime someone types the 'forbidden phrase' in, it'll increase the chance of lovehoney popping up on google or another search engine if someone gets nosey and wants to know what the address is. The whole point of the discreet packaging is so people won't be embarassed by what they've bought and from what site. xx
Its because everytime someone types the 'forbidden phrase' in, it'll increase the chance of lovehoney popping up on google or another search engine if someone gets nosey and wants to know what the address is. The whole point of the discreet packaging is so people won't be embarassed by what they've bought and from what site. xx
A google search already comes up with at least half a dozen references to Lovehoney, Lingerie and Bath. Typing it here will make absolutely not one iota of difference. The number of references a search engine like google accesses is huge
I forgot to change my delivery address when I moved and had a set of anal beads delivered to my old address.. Adding insult to injury my new postie seems to be fully aware of all my lovehoney deliveries. Now I'm having several a week it's getting quite awkward haha.
I'm staying at my boyfriend's house for 2 weeks so changed my default address to his (work) address. Well, I got the number wrong and a packet went to the offices beside his...he went to pick it up and someone there had a simular name to mine so had opened it! Luckily it was only knickers but my boyfriend is pretty embarassed and annoyed at me! 
Our postie always looks frightfully embarassed when he delivers a box from Lovehoney so I guess he's a shy customer of theirs too. Either that or the leather whip I answer the door holding just terrifies him 
Ours always gives me a wink and a smile so I reckon he's a customer too! And I just remembered that since we had a massive toy sort out our recycling today was full of dildo boxes and other interesting stuff *makes mental note to leave the next lot in the vicars recycling bin at the other end of the village* so I'll have to avoid the recycling guys for a bit!
I often get packages dropped off for my next door neighbour, a lovely single lass. Always say she hope she hasn't been buying anything naughty. This always makes her blush.
Its because everytime someone types the 'forbidden phrase' in, it'll increase the chance of lovehoney popping up on google or another search engine if someone gets nosey and wants to know what the address is. The whole point of the discreet packaging is so people won't be embarassed by what they've bought and from what site. xx
A google search already comes up with at least half a dozen references to Lovehoney, Lingerie and Bath. Typing it here will make absolutely not one iota of difference. The number of references a search engine like google accesses is huge
The difference is all those search results are outside LH's control. They still have a duty to try to keep their claim of discreet packaging true, regardless of whoever splashes it about the internet, by not allowing their own site to blatently advertise what exactly the secret phrase is.
I would majorly panic if I put in the wrong address, but then again shame on them for opening mail with my name on it! They deserve to feel uncomfortable :p
My very nosey neighbour takes in all my parcels - which is actually really kind of them :) They always say 'another brown box' ? Fortunately my hubby does cycle racing so I always say it's just another part for a bike and they're none the wiser ;) But yeah, god knows what they would think if they ever opened them and it would be all round the village in a flash !
