A follow on to some of the other sexual moments threads it reminded me on my funniest sexual moment.
Was a young 18 year old with an ex-girlfriend, it was the early 90’s, sex was good then but wasn’t what it is now, Unless you went in dodgy sex shops lingerie and those rock hard dildo’s out of the back of those funny magazines more or less all you could get and was adventurous!
We thought we’d spice things up by using baby oil, we waited for her parents to go out and excitedly we absolutely covered ourselves from head to toe! Used a whole bottle! She looked awesome and as you can imagine the sex was so much fun.
We thought it was a great idea but then came the moment we found out baby oil wasn’t soluble in water! We was covered in the stuff, the bed was cover! Her room was covered, even the window sill was covered! Literally everything we touched was covered and we was struggling to clean it up!
We showered and the water just ran of like we’d been waterproofed!! Our hair was stuck together and despite how much shampoo we used we just couldn’t get it out of our skin or out our hair.
We had to give up after doing our best to clean her bedroom, we was still shiny and slippery but we had to get dressed which felt weird as it felt like you’d got another layer on under our clothes and hope and pray!
Her parents never said anything but was suspicious as we had done a load of washing without being asked! God knows what they though we’d got on her bed sheets!!
I’m laughing too much to post anything of my own! 
I can only imagine how revolting it must felt putting clothes on over the top of that!
@wildflower must admit it wasn’t funny at the time but it was always hilarious when we looked back at it! The clothes thing was the weirdest feeling ever! I can still remember it 30 years later! And even the sex despite being good was funny at times!! Like wrestling a eel on heat!!
That’s too funny! Think you’d do it again in a more controlled session now you’re older? 
We actually did something similar at my girlfriend’s parents house when they were away, but we added it to a bath we shared. Not as messy, but very slinky! The only thing was we didn’t think to clean the bath afterwards, so it was very slippy. I’m sure her mom knew what we’d done!
Also, their landing curtains were quite stiff to draw so I took it upon myself to use furniture polish on the rail.
When her mom next shut the curtains she unknowingly used the usual force to draw them and nearly fell down the stairs as they flew shut with ease!
@AFudge Forgot to add it was with a previous girlfriend but if I did try with the Misses I’d make sure anything we used was water soluble or dissolved in to our skin quickly!!
Years ago when myself and my OH were dating we had to confine sexual activities to the outdoors as we were still both living at home with our respective parents. One night we parked up in a quiet country lane on the grass verge close to a field gate . It was October and had been raining a lot the previous few days but the ground didn’t look too muddy.
Anyway, to cut a long story short a throughly enjoyable time was had on the backseat but when we went to drive off we realised all the shall we say 'movement ’ of the car had caused it to sink into the soft grassy mud. Thinking it only needed a bit of a shove I got out while he stayed at the wheel because he had only just recovered from a broken ankle. It was useless, the car was going nowhere and I was getting covered in mud and moaning about my new boots getting ruined so he had no choice but to get out and assist. By then it was raining hard and it was very muddy. We thought the solution to that would be for us to take our boots off and roll up our jeans thinking it’d be easier to clean off skin rather than clothing or boots.
As we both gave one big shove the car suddenly shot forwards right in to closed gate of the field, smashing one of the lights and leaving us on our hands and knees in the mud!
It was only then that we stupidly realised that we had nothing to clean up with , we tried to get the worst off using our own socks and we had to drive back sitting on some old carrier bags we found in the boot, stopping off near a park where there was a toilet block . It’s no joke trying to wash that kind of mess off in a public toilet washbasin and there was only a roller towel fixed on the wall to dry off with …not much good for drying feet unless you’re a contortionist! My god we looked like we’d been mud wrestling!
The journey home wasn’t much fun , with him banging on about his broken light and me just sitting there in an angry silence!
Obviously we laugh about it now! 
Brilliant! Isn’t it good that years later we find it funny, but at the time it’s the end of the world!
When our cats were kittens, one of them had already bonded tightly with me and would always curl up on me in bed. My OH and I were enjoying a rather intense session with me on all fours.
Dax hopped onto the bed and immediately curled up in the “cave” I had made and started purring like mad. We had to stop because we were laughing so hard. After that we always remembered to shut the door first!
I just remembered, recently on my birthday trip away we had decided to leave the suitcase while we had a last look around.
My vibrator switched itself on as we were in the queue. @afrodan could feel it buzzing and whispered to me, I couldnt believe it had happened then, was so funny! . We had to quickly retrieve it in the middle of reception 
Sex while tripping on acid. She looked like a Monty Python cartoon.
Your story reminded me of a time my wife and I ( girlfriend then) were in the middle of a hot session on my bed. I suddenly felt something wet touch my balls area. I thought , what did she just do? And how did she do it.? Happened again. !! Its not unpleasant but just unexpected.
At that moment I looked over my shoulder and realised to my horror , our family pet Doberman was kind of doing what inquisitive dogs do.
The shreek my wife let out caused things to flag a bit , till we got going again.
Dog ejected and locked out of the room.
Still makes us laugh.
Buying a box of durex fiestas back in the 80’s… hoping for a blue one…after several purchases.
Yes a red a black AND an electric blue one…my favourite colour…
Put it on my then boyfriends eager erection and I was so excited it looked fab and couldn’t wait. I caught it with my…yes you’ve guessed it my long electric blue painted nails…and tore it.
“Never mind we can use one of the others” he said… “No it doesn’t matter it won’t look as good” I replied
I walked home leaving him with a (limping by the second) c*ck wearing an electric blue jacket…torn but still…
It looked fab in that blue too…gutted…
I have several funny sex stories 
When me and my now husband started dating at the age of 20/21 we were getting into it, just before we moved in together we were in his bedroom at his parents house. I went down to give him a treat (new to him as I took his bj v 
) full blown, excuse the pun, into the session, both butt naked with my arse in the air. His bedroom door slams open and there stood his younger brother (19) pissed as a fart, started having a full blown conversation with my now husband, whilst my arse a few feet at best away from his brother and my now husbands meat still in my mouth.
When we’d moved in together, we christened every surface in the house. One day, we got frisky and as my husband went to go inside me, I had explosive diareah on his cock, after eating something dodgy earlier in the day. No warning signs. He had a shower, changed the bed and carried on. He still married me.
I had a very small bedroom while living at home and decided to do my gf doggy style in the square of space between my bed and the door.
As i was thrusting away and she is moaning into the floor there was a knock at the door(luckily it was locked). My mum asked if i wanted some tea later and i said sure, at which point my gf let out a groan. My mum started talking to her about how she had been while i was still fucking away the whole time haha
When we had done my gf said she was so freaked out but also pretty excited in a way haha
While at uni I got with one of my flatmates. We were kissing passionately when he asked me if I wanted to proceed further. Asked him if he had any condoms, he did not so I replied „unlucky”. We didn’t stop kissing and I eventually started feeling… well… way too horny to resist.
I then left him without saying anything. found some condoms in my bedroom. At this point we still had our clothes on. I hid the condoms in my pyjama, then went back to his room, started kissing and whispered the good news. He literally came in that moment as he heard I was keen!
I made fun of him but he turned out to be pretty unforgettable (in a good way) and kept reminding me about that unfortunate time each time we had sex