i have to agree with misty69 there, i was the same first few times i tried anal sex, i use to get the burning feling etc, but if i had my clit teased to the point of no return and then taken anally then there was no pain and only pure pleasure, i still enjoy anal and have to say the only way to enjoy it without pain it to take it slowly and relax and then u wont look back at all...Lucylou
Hey there, had to get into this discussion, i used to find anal quite painful at first, until i saw an interview wth a porn star and took her advice. She said that before she did anal scenes, she would sit in her dressing room and make herself cum, making her more relaxed. So i tried it, and it worked a treat. I'm now at the stage that i don't have to cum first but it definately worked for me when i was new to the whole thing.
Redbubble77 - yes, you do 'shrink back down' with time, so just get your favourite arse toys and lube out again and maybe your new man will enjoy helping you loosen up! Oh, and what about wearing a butt plug around the house for a couple of hours beforehand?
I always find that the more turned on I am the stretchier I get and the more I want inside me. That's what I mean by loosening up - pop in your starter toy and get used to it, then once you're craving more, move up to your next toy and more lube, get used to that (I'd favour a plug I can wear for a while, maybe a vibrating one) and maybe you need another toy (perhaps a dildo) and some more lube before you're ready for your big boy. Taking Sarah's advice above, perhaps you could have a little DP fun along the way to give you a nice relaxing orgasm. Mmmmm!
See - there's a very enjoyable evening all mapped out for you!
Throw in a bottle of wine, maybe a sexy vid and badda boom badda bing.
I've got to highly recommend the Doc Johnson Anal Lube. It's great for using when you want to wear a plug for long periods of time.
Hey Tallboy
Actually, I was just about to place an order that includes a small vibrating plug for just that purpose. I really adore my Blue Thunder but the base is too chunky to wear it around and I don't want to wreck it by hacking it into a t-base. So I've been looking for something similar in size that I can wear for londer periods, like all day. The vibe bit is so I can give myself a little zap every now and then!
I've gone for a small one because I figure it will be more comfortable than the medium-sized plugs I use for DP while fucking. They're good but leave me with a touch of the John Waynes.
Hey, Alyssa - have you considered an nJoy stainless steel butt plug for all day use? No vibrations, but the neck is narrow and they're weighty for added pleasure!
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9041
I love it when girls are into anal play :-)
I cant believe ive found a heat lover.
I must be the only man like it.
When alone i have a fan heater on in the bedroom, it gets so toasty.
When the wife is out i love the heating on max and i love my car heater on high, thought i was alone.
steve
x
my husband and i both enjoy being arse fucked.we recomend anal eazze to numb you a little and loads of liquid silk.my old man found it hard at first a little feels like a lot.i found one finger in going round and round and sucking him worked beads went in easy them small toys.relax it will happen when your ready.watch men and woman being a fucked,i enjoy both holes being done together but not at first.do him if he does you all inhibations will go.nothing is taboo to us, extreem is the way,anything tried once.i come more than ever, just anal even does it for me.porn showed me how to stretch old mans arse with fingers or thin toys.doing it to each other may help.its so horny.good anal pounding to you both
Hello everyone, I have read most of your comments and they are WONDEFUL advise. I recently bought my first anal toy and me and my boyfriend want to try anal but go about it in the right way. I want to explore myself first but I dont really know where and/or how to start. Do I start with a finger first or just use the toy directly? What is the best position while just exploring with yourself? If anyone has any advice it will be greatly appreciated! Thanks again
My boyfriend and I tryed anal tonight for the first time and were very successful! Started out with one finger and worked up to three, then the anal top went in sooo smoothly! After that I was ready for him to penetrate me...he went extremely slow and with every inch I had to breathe deep and relax. After about 10 minutes, it felt so amazing! The best sex and best orgasm I have ever had! Definitiely recremend giving it a chance and always remember...lube, lube, and more lube.
Thanks to everyone for the great advice!!
Congratulations! It's interesting how quickly you coped with the new sensations and were able to orgasm first time. I really like being pegged but it took a long time to get used to the sensations sufficiently to orgasm from it.
Perhaps you could suggest you get a strap-on and see if he likes receiving as well as giving :-)
To Gyrator53...I know I was shocked myself. I was so nervous about the pain but my boyfriend took his time and I was able to relax. The best position that worked was me bending over the side of the bed (im 5'10" and my bf is 6'4") so the was the easiest for penetration. Thanks again for everything...if you find any new tips about anal...let me know!
When you're working anything in, i find it's best to push in, when you're breathing out.
Most people instinctively go the other way around, which isn't so easy!
Try wearing a butt plug too, thats quite a different sensation entirely :)
My partner is worried that because he fucked me in the ass that I will want to do the same back. I would love to play with his ass if he asked me too but I am not sure if he wants me to or not as he thinks it might lead to the strap on I keep under the bed that I used for a dominatrix costume one time. How can I tell if he wants me to try anything on him?
I have used vibrators on his balls and he just loves it but not sure how to get any closer.
Honestly i think that you should just flat out ask him. But try to do it in a relaxing or aluring way. Dont just say 'hey can i fuck you in the ass' ask in stages to build up to it lol.
And if you REALLY want him to do stuff to him then you can be extra sly, sexy outfit, call him into bedroom and call him over to the bed, disrobe, have a little foreplay and then pop the question. "you know how much it turns me on when you **insert act of bumfun here**, well maybe i could turn you on in the same way? *insert sexy pout*" Even the most afraid man will at least be tempted by that!!
and even if he still says no then no one gets embarassed. You can just carry on as normal, and he will be so horny he will be too focused elsewhere to worry about it!
Heres something to give a go, worked for us:
Start off with having sex in the good old missionary position with him on top, run your hands all over his back. You are making him feel passionately caressed and he'll be getting turned turned on by the feeling of you exploring his body during sex, this is easier to broach than just getting straight to some anal exploration...
Now for the all important...running your hands up and down his back whilst still going at it in missionary position get yourself to the point of clutching at his buttocks and helping push him into you, when he's at the point of feeling really excited buy this start running your fingers between his butt cheeks making your way gradually towards his anus. He might even respond by arching his back when he gets the sensation of this kind of stimulation, which makes his anus easier for you to access. then stimulate him by pressing and eventually pushing your finger inside him. If you try to time this so that you enter him just before he reaches orgasm then you will have given him such a famtastic orgasm he's going to be very turned on to anal fun.
Give it a go, and most importantly enjoy yourselves.
The most important thing about giving new experiences a go is being able to tell your partner if you feel uncomfortable. I think it's important to remind men that they have the right to say no too, because they are too often expected to be the intiators of sex...
I agree with Mirador's advice, but sometimes it is good to try just a little bit of what you fancy to see if you like it, all too often people react negatively to the idea of something, without experiencing it for themselves and really knowing how it would make them feel.
Good luck, hope you convert him!
Frisky
I have no real advice to offer, but I had to sign up to share my experience... but I'm new so be nice :)
The first time I tried anal was with my ex, and it was so painful that I forbid him to try it again... but a few years (and a few guys) down the road, I was curious so I asked my new man to give it a go - him being more experienced in matters anal than me.
Well... I love it. And the more we do it, the better the sensations. So maybe I do have a bit of advice - just keep trying! It's definitely worth it.
I do have one question myself... do women ususally come from anal? Is it hard to achieve? I have come during anal, but from clit stimulation - it was a mind-blowing orgasm, but I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to cum from anal alone...
Any and all input welcome!
Thanks for that advice, I have asked him but I think he gives the typical guy answer and shys away from even admitting he would try it. Also might be a bit tricky to reach his ass in missionary as he is so tall i can barely reach his testicles. I have got near the area by using toys on the area between his ass and testicles and he seems to respond well to that. I think i might try a more thorough washing technique next time we have a shower and maybe suck him off and move my hands and edge closer. Plus i will know that area is deffo clean that way ;p
Hi Miss Bumfun - I like your username! :-)
Your guy is lucky that you want to indulge in anal play - many girls are less adventurous unfortunately, and I speak from experience.
My advice is to wait for the right moment - maybe during foreplay and after a couple of inhibition reducing drinkies - and tell him that there's something you'd like to try with him. Something that you think he'll really like and that you get really turned on wanting to do for him. (tell him you'll try something new that he wants in exchange)
Then use a well lubed vibrator in his ass. Slowly. I can recommend this one -
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=51
I have one and it feels fantastic inside, plus it's a nice size for a beginner and designed specially for anal play. The big bonus is the vibrating cock ring which will give you both pleasure. I bet you he enjoys having these both going whilst he fucks you so much he'll be an instant convert! Climaxing whilst you're using an anal vibrator is habit forming, trust me.
Let me know what you think... :-)
Lol, hmm I think I would have to indulge him rather slower than that I fear. He was scared of anal coz he thought i might do stuff back. Thing is I wanted to do anal and then chickened out til he kept mentioning it so I went along. I have always wanted to do anal and as I didn't realise how easy it would be to slip a cock inside their I always waited til i met someone I was in a stable relationship where experimentation was always an option. I won't be pegging him anytime soon, but it's only fair that I poke his g spot.
still think i will have to work up to it, I think that stage will be the most tricky. Glad you like my name, I thought it was apprpriate as I have recently joined the orgasm army just after I got into bumfun. Also bumfun sounds a bit more fun than anal, such a harsh word.