Hi my wife has been taking citalopram for anxiety for a few months and she admitted to me the other day that she is finding it hard to get turned on looking on google loss of libido is a side effect of the drug and I know she needs to see her doctor I was just wondering if any of you lovely people have experienced similar things and what alternatives did you take and what did you do,I just want my wife to be her happy self and feeling sexual again,do I sound selfish.
You'll probably find it's both the depression and pills that are doing it :(
I had no libido for 9 months with post natal depression and being on paroxetine
You don't sound selfish just make sure you don't pressure her. Be supportive like I'm sure you will be but don't make her feel like she HAS to be getting turned on etc.
Haven't experienced this myself but I know there are people on here will be able to give you good advice about the antidepressant stuff xxI take Citalapram and one of the side effects can be loss of libido, if you are having issues speak to your doctor. They are able to help.
I don't have any experience with this, but you don't sound selfish for wanting your wife to feel happy and sexy in herself. If she is having to take medication for anxiety, odds are she'll be happier long term with this little dip in her libido while she gets her general and mental health sorted. Other people may have more or better advice for you, but when I was suffering with a low point last year, my OH turned on extra gentle mode but withouth pressuring me, was really careful about making sure I knew he liked my body, didn't turn up and just throw me on the bed and...like normal, but took it slower, making sure I was getting emotional goodness as well as the physical, because otherwise I wasn't really interested.
I'm now sure if that really helps much, but stick with it, and if she is happy to speak to a Dr, I guess there's no harm in seeing what he has to say :)
Edit: In the time it took me to type, so many others have posted, see what I mean about others being able to help!
I was on anti-depressants for a few months about this time last year and as a result my sex drive went completely.
I was on medication for stress, which was a double attack, but fortunately with hep from my friends, GP and employer, I was able to manage the causes of the stress.
I am now fully recovered, I would suggest that the key is to manage the cause of the anxiety and support your wife being patient with her and not add to the pressure. I had always had a very high sex drive before I was unwell, but during that time I was just not interested, cuddles love and support, encouragement and patience are required.
You are nog being selfish, but i would suggest that you need to be careful not to put pressure on your wife as you may make the situation worse. Sorry, but i don't think there is a quick fix.
I am also taking citalopram, along with other drugs as i have Bipolar.
I also have anxiety and suffer with panic attacks. For my anxiety my doctor has prescribed me diazepam. And if its an extreme attack, i take a drug called lorazepam.
These drugs help my anxiety alot, but they are very addictive and a doctor isnt always willing to prescribe these, on a long term basis. Due to there addictive nature, im only allowed 14 a month. So generally thats why they go down the anti-depressant route. But i only take these drugs when i feel an anxiety attack happening or a panic attack brewing.
Im lucky that these dont happen a lot, but the drugs, they do help me a lot especially within social situations :) As i find, my anxiety is at its worst due to my medications i have. Also lost all interest in sex, and my libido has gone.because im bipolar, i cant be without medication. So im now booked in to see a doctor about some kind of drug that would boost my libido. as unfortunatly my partner is on testosterone and now as a higher than usual libido,and my lack of libido and his increased libido its starting to come between us and our relationship i really hope that everything gets sorted best to chat with your doctor they are normally always willing to help and may have some kind of soloution good luck
If it really bothers you guys you could talk to your GP. Anti-depressants aren't one-size-fits-all. Sometimes you have to try a few different ones to find out what suits. Also, it can take a while for your body to settle once you start on them.
You GP could also give her something to compliment the pills that she is now taking. Its worth the conversation. The GP should be kept abreast of all the side effects anyway so that he can properly do his job.
Hope things work out - it can be so hard to try and find that balance.
i was given citalopram almost 8 years ago and i want interested in BREATHING whilst on it let alone getting jiggy wid it . perhaps she could ask her doctors for alternative meds .. i have been on prozac for the last 4 years and have NO libido issues or side effects at all on it .
I also was on citalopram but had to change it as it wasn't working very well for me. As Rubysoho said she could try changing her meds but I would say if she feels they are helping with her depression than it isn't a good idea. I have tried many different medications and only one really works for me so it's best to stick with the one you know works.
Sexually I have come to terms with the fact that I can't orgasm during intercourse. I have put this down to my meds but as I started taking them 6 years ago I can't be certain that is the cause. The only advice I could give is don't put any pressure on her but do keep suggesting fresh exciting things and things you know in the past she really enjoyed. One day she will take you up on the offer ;)
Also cbt therapy is a great way of overcoming depression. I don't know whether she is already doing it but perhaps you could mention it to the doctor when you visit. It is about encouraging her to do the things that made her happy before. As well as other things. Worth having a look on google anyway..
I am so sorry to hear you are both going through this. I know how much of a struggle it can be but I'm sure she will be her happy self again soon. It is not at all selfish to want her to be happy. Depression has a great impact on relationships so it is normal that you are feeling effected by it.
I should probably add that although I have been on my meds for 6 years this isn't normal for someone suffering with depression. I have a personality disorder with which depression is a part of.
I took citalopram for depression after my first baby and had zero sex drive whilst on it. My partner couldn't understand and it lead to constant fights that made me hate him. I finally got off the tablets after giving myself a big kick up the arse and my libdo returned.
I hope she manages to overcome her anxiety soon. It's very difficult to understand what it's like to suffer anxiety and depression until you go through it yourself. It must be very frustrating for you but please bear with her. I stead of trying fit sex just try having some romantic time. Candle lit dinners, bubble baths and massages. Show her how loved she is and eventually she will feel a want for intimacy again x
I'm on escitalopram 10mg since mid june and it had an almost immediate effect on my sex drive and ability to orgasm. I do get there but it takes forever, whereas before I was quick. I've been on anti depressants for 20 years on and off and this is a start up effect generally in my experience and then improves as you get used to the drug. Cuddles and affection are very nice and may lead to more... It is a classic side effect though. I came off paroxetine after 13 yrs in January and within weeks my ability to orgasm returned. Unfortunately the depression crept back hence the new drug. All I can say is I'd rather have no sex drive and not be depressed. Patience and understanding are what is needed and realising its the drug and not your partner. I wish her a speedy recovery.
Thanks for all your replies,it's good to know that's its not me,I was starting to get a bit paranoid I think she is going to try to reduce the dosage and see how it goes,she bought a lamp for her bedside cabinet and said she is going to try to read in bed,maybe she will finally start 50 shades of grey which has been gathering dust in the drawer.
Even if she has no desire, don't let yourself get annoyed with it. to overcome whatever it is that's darkening her mood, she is going to need your love and support.
she probably feels a bit shit about herself, so don't forget to tell her you love her often. cuddles, kisses, taking all helps.
also do things together, go to the park, feed the ducks. if you aren't being sexually intimate, be intimate in other ways, talk. and more importantly listen.
anti depressants aren't a short term thing, but once the plateau is there, there can be extended periods of normality, and the sex drive will come back.
and if this side effect is really having an impact on your relationship together, then you need to tell her, add there are loads of different anti depressants she could try.
Hey all,
I was on mirtazapine ( normal sex drive but major weight gain) sertraline ( absolutely killed my sex drive and ability to orgasm) citalopram (weight gain and still no orgasms) and am about to start prozac. Its very frustrating to go from having a rich and varies sex life with orgasms galore to absolutely nothing, and it's really affecting my relationship. I'd say just keep trying different meds because the side effects are different for everybody. Xxxx
I took 240mg of codeine a day for almost two years and it completely destroyed my libido and any thoughts of sex. Nothing interested me, didn't even bother masturbating.
It's a horrid situation to be in for both parts of a relationship, as the person going through it you don't really pick up on it on a daily basis - you just think to yourself "maybe i'll be up for it tomorrow". Then the next day comes and it's the same again.
It's hard for the other person too, it doesn't mean your OH doesn't love you or want to have sex with you, it's simply a medically induced state of mind.
The good news is that a drug change (I changed from codeine to tramadol) and within two weeks I was repeatedly jumping my OH's bones.
Have also been on citalopram and suffered the same with that too - I was changed onto escitalopram which is a related drug but with different/less severe side effects for some people - it's definitely worth having a chat to the GP about it,
You don't sound selfish at all, you sound like you want the best for your wife. Good luck :)
cg73 - am about to change from escitalopram to fluoxetine (prozac)/duloxetine too as I need an additional painkiller (am only on paracetamol/naproxen/gabapentin/tramadol at the moment...).
I have been on Diazepam, Citalopram, both briefly (a few weks only). Then tried Mirtazapine, to try to improve my sleeping (I really could not sleep on Citalopram), which I was on for a few months. Can confirm tendancy to gain weight. It also made be very tired - and I still couldn't sleep well. Tried coming off Mirtazapine - and did, for a number of weeks, but still felt dreadful. Went back to see a different (more senior) doctor and was givem Sertraline.
Sertraline works for me - have been on it for about 4 to 5 weeks. Pretty much resolved my problems - and I can get back to doing things again - actually enjoying life...!!
My advice would be to find a drug which resolves the problems - and the rest will follow.
Goos luck - you are not alone.
Ive been on citalipram for *thinks* 4 years now... yes it can cause a lose of libido (or hornification as i like to call it).
I go months without doing anything tbh, i only really spank one out to relieve stress these days :(
It is not selfish but the OH can feel that way if you push for it. I have been on anti depressants for a year, I have switched between two. I tried citalopram but it didn't help me at all. The other one is fluoxetine, I am currently on 40mg a day of that. For me, it still isn't particularly helping but i'd be worse without it. But back to the matter in hand, I got with my current partner in sep 2012, I lost my sex drive a while ago because of being used for sex by an ex or he'd cheat which he did anyway. When I goth with my OH, I told him that sex was off the cards. I had such low self worth and he told me (and still does) everyday that he loves me and that I am beautiful. I remember him bringing up the subject a lot and it made me feel pressured. In the end, I just gave him sex to shut him up but I felt 1000 times worse and i'd cry after and feel dirty. We enjoyed 'our' time, meals together, walks etc, just spending time. I started to read sexy books which started to get me in the mood but we still didn't have sex. We shared a bath for the first time and he made me feel really special and sex was back and we have had more sex than ever just recently. Unfortunately, you can't rush it, everyone is different but so long as she knows that you love her and are going to stay put whether there is sex or not, things should turn around. Good luck to you both and eveyone else that is going through the same thing
I was on Citalopram for just under a year, the first few weeks of taking it I felt pretty out of it, had very little desire for anything let alone sex. Once I got used to the meds a bit more, the desire still wasn't there, so I started masturbating and doing things that would usually turn me on, as a matter of routine, just to try and feel something and increase desire. It wasn't easy though, halfway though i would just kind of switch off and stop, and I had such a difficult time reaching orgasm. I was determined though, and eventually managed to build back up some kind of a sex life, and began enjoying myself again.
Everybody is different, and as others have suggested, talk to the GP, but it sounds like it's early days and hopefully thinngs will get better. Good luck :) x