SO! After meeting an amazing guy, who just does it for me on so many levels we have an amazing sex life and im unbelivably attracted to him (you know when they just have that scent?![](upload://vsZAqK62RaQWD13ReBk2BlQBseS.gif)).
Anyway this is pure chemistry, because he has told me he has little sexual experience at 28, far less than myself at 21. He had never used sex toys before me, or even cum with girl on top.
So im finding it hard to bring up that I LOVE IT ROUGH!
How do i casually bring it up?!
''oh hey fancy spanking me hard, pulling my hair and giving me the old pinch and scratch?!''
Dont get me wrong he is amazing in bed, but I feel im supressing this side of me through fear of making him run a mile!
Ever just talked to him about it, and see how he feels. Men dont like feeling that they are powerless or that their male ego is being taken down a peg or two. Sooo talk to him and tell him how you like it, say that your willing to let him do things and vise versa...
Go in with your sexy `come n fuck me big boy` out fit on and hooker heels. Add some toys to the mix,,and woohooo...Maybe...possibly
If I were you I would probably go the slow path. Put on nipple clamps, ask him to suck your nipples, then bite them, then pull your clamps. Tell him you love it, ask him to pull and bite harder.
If he goes for it - ask him to stroke your buttocks, then sqeeze them, then slap them and so on.
As someone who also wants to spice things up with my partner, but possibly scared him off, I'd try the slowly does it approach suggested by john69.
I may have gone a bit too heavy-handed in my experience, as I bought a paddle and crop as well as some nipple clamps, but my hubby wasn't very keen. Not sure if it freaked him out or if it was too much too soon. The other possibility is that he's worried about hurting me.
Bottom line, our sex life has remained more or less vanilla, which is fine though I would like to encourage a bit more rough play in the future so will have to maybe ease him into it gently.
Good luck, and enjoy yourselves ![](upload://nXzNBAACFMemirV1148YTO7ENey.gif)
I agree with MissM22, bite his lips and see what he does. I adore rough sex, the rougher, the better ^_^ Bring it up in conversation, see if theres anything he wants to try/likes and same with you x
I'd start out by talking to him telling him what you really like, you'll be surprised how many men enjoy it too. My partner was really vanilla with his exes, so i took him out his comfort zone and now there's no looking back for us.. :) xxx
the first time i had sex with the last guy i was with, he started off on top really slow and gentle which tbh was really boring so i shoved him off, got on all fours and told him fuck me like he meant it!
my advice is get a little drunk together , and bite his nipples , they're a very sensual part for both men and women , could always grab his back hard to the point where he notices the enjoyment the pain brings , dragging your nails down his back ! the drink will numb the pain ;-)
Talk about it before. Ask him what his fantasy is. Then tell him yours. Who knows, you may have the same... This also opens the doors to talk more about sex. Tell him you want to be spanked and to pull your hair. Ask if he wants you to do it to him. Once you see how that goes, you can see if it is worth buying rough sex play things such as clamps and whips.
You could try bringing it up as part of a different conversation. As it's out this weekend, maybe spark up a conversation about 50 Shades and use that to ask if he would want to try anything like that?
My partner used to be completely vanilla, but after talking more and communicating fantasies he decided to give things a go. It started slowly with nipples play and sensory deprivation. Now try keeping the candle wax, flogger and restraints away from him. They are now his toys that I get to share hehe xx
Take him to see 50 Shades of Grey then ask him if he fancies a bit of role play lol Tell him it's something you've fancied trying, that way he'll feel like it's something you're discovering together and hopefully won't be worried that it's something you already know you like and he's not 'doing it right' Maybe tell him you've heard that LH do a great 50 shades range and have a look together It'll go one way or the other Have fun! X
the first time i had sex with the last guy i was with, he started off on top really slow and gentle which tbh was really boring so i shoved him off, got on all fours and told him fuck me like he meant it!
it broke the ice and the sex was fab after that!!
This would 100% be the way I would want to be told lol
I would be surprised if he ran a mile. More likely is that it will take him a while to get used to the idea, to let himself go without feeling embarrassed or worrying he's going to hurt you, and get to learn how hard you like it. You'll just need to be patient, reassure him about what he's doing and be really encouraging.
Speaking here as the boyfriend of someone who likes to be fucked as hard as possible, from behind, but was shy about admitting it initially. Communication is the most important thing!
I just told my OH, I tend not to mess around with this stuff, so before he even got with me it was a case of 'I like it hard, and I like it rough - do X,Y and Z"