As it is Easter, Sex and Religion. What ever believe shuold it effect your love life?

Off-Topic Chat
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I am a non believer, I was brought up a Roman Catholic. However through education and conversation became a non believer. To the disgust of both sides of my family neither of my children are baptized. Religion for them is the same for anyone else a, personal choice. I Believe children should not have a believe forced upon them and don't believe it has any place in our love lives.

Just my opinion, we are all very open minded and able to discuss tough and emotional questions. I wish to start this thread with respect for other people's beliefs.

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How can values held dear NOT have a place in any aspect of life, especially in something as important as sexuality?

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rose hip wrote:

How can values held dear NOT have a place in any aspect of life, especially in something as important as sexuality?

Hi Rose Hip. If you have a religious believe of coarse it will influence your sexuality. Thankyou as allways for posting

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Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

rose hip wrote:

How can values held dear NOT have a place in any aspect of life, especially in something as important as sexuality?

^^ Agreed.

I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to get across though, Gentle Giant.

Are you trying to raise the discussion that Belief should only be a choice of the individual person and not be forced on them? Or are you trying to raise the dicussion that religious belief, whether chosen or not, should not be crossed in to that persons sex life?

If it is the latter, then I must disagree.

What about those who believe in no sex before marraige? What about those who have given their pure selves over as servants of God?

I am not religious myself, but I can't understand how some aspects of religion could not affect sex life in some way or another.

Neither just other people's thoughts, just as I did with mine. Not trying to change or educate.

It's Easter and this this is a forum about sex that's it.

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I think about sharing some chocolate and enjoying some time off work. Easter is originally a Babylonian festival. In other parts of the world people used to colour eggs to celebrate the vernal equinox. Since this is long forgotten it follows that what we are celebrating is also forgotten.

As far as love life goes, I can't really comment. Little will change there.

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I suppose this all depends on what place you chosen religion holds in both your heart and your moral code.

I was brought up in a Catholic household, with a God fearing mother and all the classic Catholic guilts in place. I believe in God and I value my faith, and it has helped me through some immensely tough times. Will it be shaping my sexual activities over easter though, probably not. Easter is a celebration, a time to give great thanks. What better way to celebrate than with the body God gave you.

I think in this day and age you have to tailor what religion in by gone days stated as acceptable and what modern soceity had become and as a good Catholic if you feel you have gone a stray there is always the option of a good flogging to repent for yours sins. So it rather goes hand in hand with a kinkier lifestyle.

This is just me though, it makes no odds to me what other people believe, so long as they respect my beliefs as I respect theirs. I actually find the topic of religion very interesting, especially other religions, it is all very fascinating.

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Again i think it depends on what your beliefs are and how deeply you hold them.

Of course i agree that no religion or any belief should be forced upon a person but if for what ever reason, like AA said your belief is you shouldn't have sex outside of/before marriage etc than that is effecting your relationships.

As for playing a part in your love life, well it depends in what sense? I was raised in a christian household - it was never a faith i followed but i do have beliefs (which would fall under the very broad label of pagan).

This plays a big part in my life and, of course, my partner doesn't need to share those beliefs or even really understand them but it's important to me that he respects them. Having said that he takes a lot of interest in it which is wonderful for me and of course if he was someone who was disrespectful about peoples religion then we probably wouldn't have got together in the first place.

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The "Great Mother Goddess" of the Saxons was Eostre and all around the Mediterranean and europe the goddesses of springs and fertility or if you like new life are Eostra, Eostur,Eastra and Eastur to name a few. I guess this is where oestrogen finds its name from.

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Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

Gentle giant wrote:

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

rose hip wrote:

How can values held dear NOT have a place in any aspect of life, especially in something as important as sexuality?

^^ Agreed.

I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to get across though, Gentle Giant.

Are you trying to raise the discussion that Belief should only be a choice of the individual person and not be forced on them? Or are you trying to raise the dicussion that religious belief, whether chosen or not, should not be crossed in to that persons sex life?

If it is the latter, then I must disagree.

What about those who believe in no sex before marraige? What about those who have given their pure selves over as servants of God?

I am not religious myself, but I can't understand how some aspects of religion could not affect sex life in some way or another.

Neither just other people's thoughts, just as I did with mine. Not trying to change or educate.

It's Easter and this this is a forum about sex that's it.

Ok, yes. But what is it that you are looking for other people's thoughts on?

Your thread title says "What ever believe shuold it effect your love life?" (Which I translated to "Whatever your belief, should it affect your love life?") and I gave a partial answer for that in the previous post. But in your first post, you talk about religion being forced on people, which has very little, if not nothing, to do with the thread title.

Just asking which one you are wanting this thread to be discussing over, that is all. I'm not trying to challenge you or anything.

Hi Avrielle-Aniko, any all or none, just your thoughts and opinions. I was'nt particularly trying to get an answer to specific question. So maybe in light of that I could of phrased the thread head a little better for you. Others seem to of got the gist of it though.

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The woman who brought me made me feel sex was wrong even pretty underwear sets, said I was slutty if I wore them for a bloke on the other hand when I had no boyfriend for a year she called me a lesbian she'd also have said toys masturbation were wrong, thank God she's dead now and can do no more harm, Easter won't change my play time.

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I'm a bit confused as to what you're asking us, but I'll chip in with my stance on religion.

My parents have two different religions, but neither of them are huge believers in god. I think they're of the generation that believes in god just to be on the safe side haha! So me and my siblings were never given a religion, but whenever I asked 'what I was', my parents would never say aithiest, and would tell me I'm non-denominational so it really was 100% my choice and I highly respect that. I've never had any sort of belief in god, because I'm more scientifically minded and can't let myself believe something that doesn't have enough evidence for my liking.

My husband is catholic, was brought up in a catholic household and went to a catholic school. He doesn't believe in god. He got Catholicism rammed down his throat and despises it. He's also scientifically minded and we have the same opinions on it. Although, he will argue with his siblings about how god mustn't exist, whereas with me, if someone believes in god and has a religion I just couldn't care less. I'm not bothered at all if other people want to believe in a god, it's none of my business what other people do, and if someone wants to believe in a religion I really think that needs to be respected. But I think I've been brought up to respect other religions because of my parents being two different religions, and my extended family being of a third religion, and they are Muslims, but they don't practice it, and in not sure if they entirely believe in the Muslim faith, but again, that's none of my business and I respect their choices.

This part might shock you, but my children are catholic. My reasons for this is education. The best secondary and primary schools in my area are catholic. Unless my children are Catholic, they won't get into this secondary school. They're still very young, but since they've been born their education is paramount to me and I want them to have the best available education they can get. We don't take them to church, they've simply been baptised so they can attentd a catholic school. We always make sure when they ask about god we tell them that 'the story goes...' And make sure they know it's a story and not fact. But obviously the schools teach them otherwise. My eldest occasionally wants to go to church and I will take him to church on a Sunday whenever he wants me to, but my husband won't go. If my children grow up and want to be catholic, or want to change to any other religion then I will fully support and respect their wishes. My husband on the other hand said he won't be able to keep his opinions to himself, so that's a bridge we'll have to cross in the future.

I think if sex is influenced by religion, then you're probably asking the wrong target audience what their opinions are. People who believe in religion so strongly, probably won't be on LH.

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I was also brought up Catholic but from the age of 11, I've practiced Wicca. Sex and sensuality plays quite an important role for me.

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Gentle giant wrote:

Religion for them is the same for anyone else a, personal choice. I Believe children should not have a believe forced upon them and don't believe it has any place in our love lives.

Are you defining religion in terms of taught beliefs then? As in beliefs held by some don't have a place in other people's love lives? Or do you really mean that you feel your own beliefs about religion (including rejection of those you were raised with) don't have a place in your love life at all?

As for myself, my religious beliefs are very much in accord with my love life, sexuality and the rest of my life. As one example, sexualised violence has always turned me off; I first realised that watching a movie where the strong, powerful woman hero was being held in chains and the filming (and her torn clothing) was very sexualised. That was years before I knew anything about BDSM other than that it existed. Same thing with 50 Shades and The Story of O. The sexuality in those books is just too different from my own.

My religious beliefs include the importance of respect for the dignity of other people and acting in ways which reinforce their beliefs in themselves and their own self-worth. To borrow BDSM terminology, humiliation is a very hard limit for me. So is violence of any kind or punishment games, even if it's agreed on before hand and all that. It is just too contrary to how I want to interact with others.

It's not that any religion has forced my beliefs about these things but that I've found religious ideas which express and help me understand my own thinking.

How can I possibly set that aside?

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http://www.religioustolerance.org/easter1.htm

As usual I have picked a subject that I think we would like to discuss but because of trying to not upset any one. The Thread Header maybe a little misleading.

I love the site above. I have never given myself a religious label but looking at most of the descriptions on it I think the one I fall into mostly is Humanist.

All I did this morning was look at Easter as breakfast topic with my family especially my daughter who is studying RE. Having done a little on line research and being a huge fan and friends with many of you all on here, just wondered what our thoughts about sex and Religion were.

My own are tolerance and understanding of others beliefs. Out of the main five they all preach tolerance and peace.

For me as I don't believe it doesn't effect my love life. For those who do belief some teachings advocate some levels of restraint or abstinence..

MRSmcx. Fully understand just a Mum wanting what she feels is best for your children. Play by the rules to get what you want.

Rose Hip, I was'm trying to make it a question and answer thread but I do understand that when you give an opinion others would like you to explain. Forgive me if I don't interpret your questions correctly and repost so we can discuss further as I hope you are enjoying the thread too.

The answer to your first question is easy in one way or another all religion is taught. It should be taught but not to indoctrinate so as to understand why others believe and act as they do. If you choose a religion that is fine. Equally if you are religious then making love should and could give you a good feeling of spiritual well being too.The piece in brackets I need you to clarify are you referring to yourself or me. If it's me which I don't think it is, I havnt rejected anyone and neither would I on religious grounds. Both my children were offered the opportunity to be confirmed to go to church and learn. My boy really wanted a friend to be his god father I told him he was in luck as his mother and I hadn't chosen one for him he could ask him. He wrote a letter to my friend to ask him to look out for him like a godfather, my friend was reduced to tears and was honoured. I myself (, you may choose to call me a hypocrite) was asked and excepted to be a godfather twice . I think I have just got what you are on about the piece of mine you have quoted " our sex lives. I can see that you might think this is reffering to everyone, it was meant in with the rest of the paragraph to be about me and my nearest and dearest.

I have had numerous and in depth debates about religion and it does fascinate me. For me personally(opinion) it's about morality. I have and practice a high level of personal morality. For my immediate family sometimes infuriating so. I am told I am too black and white and others have told me to straight. In these discussions with some very deeply religious people the morals are very simular.

The only difference was it struck me they felt they needed some one relgious to tell them what was right and wrong, and I didn't. I believe that most people understand that what are on the ten commandments you would know without them.

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That is an interesting site GG. But I don't feel the need to be labeled by something. I would agree, I'm probably close to Humanism, but the while pigeon holing thing really bothers me and I think that's why this world is such a difficult one when it comes to accepting other people.

Like my children for example, I had to tick a box telling their religion and race for them to go to school. I agree with the religion box because it's a catholic school, but I hate how anyone needs to know the race of anyone else. I think race should only be a tick box on medical forms and nothing else (because some races are more prone to certain diseases). But if these religion and tick boxes were declared void for any child who was born in 2013, then surely our children would grow up thinking that everyone is the same, because we are! People should be pigeon holed, and as long as these tick boxes are around our children will grow up seeing a difference between others because of race, sexuality or religion. I think they should be banned apart from for passport records and medical records. Religion, race and sexuality doesn't matter at all, everyone should be able to be their own person without having to tick a box to confirm it. The reason there's homophobia, racism and bullying because someone is different for you is because people are put into these pigeon holes. I just wish these tick boxes would disappear.

P.S. I'm quite enjoying these in depth discussions!!

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MrsMcX wrote:

That is an interesting site GG. But I don't feel the need to be labeled by something. I would agree, I'm probably close to Humanism, but the while pigeon holing thing really bothers me and I think that's why this world is such a difficult one when it comes to accepting other people.

Like my children for example, I had to tick a box telling their religion and race for them to go to school. I agree with the religion box because it's a catholic school, but I hate how anyone needs to know the race of anyone else. I think race should only be a tick box on medical forms and nothing else (because some races are more prone to certain diseases). But if these religion and tick boxes were declared void for any child who was born in 2013, then surely our children would grow up thinking that everyone is the same, because we are! People should be pigeon holed, and as long as these tick boxes are around our children will grow up seeing a difference between others because of race, sexuality or religion. I think they should be banned apart from for passport records and medical records. Religion, race and sexuality doesn't matter at all, everyone should be able to be their own person without having to tick a box to confirm it. The reason there's homophobia, racism and bullying because someone is different for you is because people are put into these pigeon holes. I just wish these tick boxes would disappear.

P.S. I'm quite enjoying these in depth discussions!!

Couldn't agree more but we all know that it is how we are governed. If you want to make your Millions come up with an alternative. The nearest I have seen is Denmark, with when you are born you are given a number and that is it. Tax, insurance, bank everything. How many Brits would go for I am just a number? If you really want to be pissed and I have thought about posting it on the rant thread. Check out the National Office of Statistics. It's budget and how it's supposed to be independently audited. When I last looked( I try not to any more makes my blood boil). 10k in main office and 4k more next door auditing them. Don't want to remember the £ but it was huge. All for MPs to quote.

I all so love these discussions and have come to really value the opinions here.

I've now derailed my own thread. Thinking now should I of just headed the thread. Sex and Chocolate.. Hehe.

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Woah, woah, woah. How did we get from talking about beliefs to rejecting people, GG? I wrote about respecting people, not rejecting them.

My first paragraph was trying to understand what you meant by the phrase "and don't believe it has any place in our love lives."

Did you mean that phrase to be specific to you and your partner or to everyone in general. I read it as everyone in general, following on from the apparent generality of the preceding clause about children and forced beliefs.

I think we have fundamentally different ideas about what religion is, GG. It's certainly not my experience that all religion is taught. Someone can teach words, but much of what it's all about has to be experienced and developed for oneself, including values and worldview. I think you're writing in terms of catechism and things which can be taught and I'm writing primarily from the point of view of living it, which can't.

I also think that your beliefs about religion, even if they are structured in terms of rejection of the beliefs you were raised with, do affect your love life because they're part of the whole package of your life, thinking and worldview. But then we're working with very different ideas about what religion is.

I didn't approach this as a Q&A thread, but rather as discussion. I thought my first question was a natural follow on from your original post. Sorry if I was supposed to just leave my opinion and bugger off.

No one had to tell me what's wrong or right. I use other people's ideas to challenge, test and refine my own and if I find something I really like, I'll happily pinch it, and then challenge, test and refine it until it's integrated into my own, modified or set aside. And when I come across something that doesn't sit right with me, that dissonance can be brilliant for helping me clarify my own thinking further.

My love life and my religious beliefs are both shaped by the ideals I value like dignitiy and respect. Sexual intimacy is an expression of my beliefs about people and God.

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rose hip wrote:

Gentle giant wrote:

Religion for them is the same for anyone else a, personal choice. I Believe children should not have a believe forced upon them and don't believe it has any place in our love lives.

Are you defining religion in terms of taught beliefs then? As in beliefs held by some don't have a place in other people's love lives? Or do you really mean that you feel your own beliefs about religion (including rejection of those you were raised with) don't have a place in your love life at all?

As for myself, my religious beliefs are very much in accord with my love life, sexuality and the rest of my life. As one example, sexualised violence has always turned me off; I first realised that watching a movie where the strong, powerful woman hero was being held in chains and the filming (and her torn clothing) was very sexualised. That was years before I knew anything about BDSM other than that it existed. Same thing with 50 Shades and The Story of O. The sexuality in those books is just too different from my own.

My religious beliefs include the importance of respect for the dignity of other people and acting in ways which reinforce their beliefs in themselves and their own self-worth. To borrow BDSM terminology, humiliation is a very hard limit for me. So is violence of any kind or punishment games, even if it's agreed on before hand and all that. It is just too contrary to how I want to interact with others.

It's not that any religion has forced my beliefs about these things but that I've found religious ideas which express and help me understand my own thinking.

How can I possibly set that aside?

Hi Rose Hip not all I love your informative discussion points and I no way was I expecting you to leave a comment and bigger off. Please forgive me if it came across that way.

The piece about rejection is in your first paragraph of this post in the brackets. Including the rejection of those we were raised with. Is that a typo then?

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For me, it's like Rose hip was saying, my beliefs aren't something that were taught, i don't follow a strict doctrine, it's fluid and evolves which maybe is not the case for everyone.

Yes there are certain things i do, festivals I celebrate etc. but i have my own moral code as people do and that's enough for me i don't need to be told whats right or wrong any more than anyone else does. But as i said my faith, all parts of it, are part of who i am so therefore impact all of my life in some way big or small, i can't help that.

Perhaps it depends on how a person perceives religion? Even if they aren't religious in any way their moral code or beliefs would surely impact how they approach relationships in some way however small.

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Rejection of those beliefs you were raised with

Or do you really mean that you feel your own beliefs about religion (including rejection of those you were raised with)

beliefs since that was the central topic of the sentence, not your family of origin, who I didn't mention at all.