[ATTN] FORUM RULES: Body-shaming / Cyberbullying

Inside Lovehoney
21

Maybe we can all simply agree to avert our eyes from the 1 inch max avis take up on the screen when it's the weekend? It's only a cm to ignore if you're on mobile! ![](upload://l9s9e23YKLHpoOzgGVeUkhZGcEr.gif)

Seriously though, I'm glad this has been addressed. It's one thing when there are multiple posts reminding about rule checking, it's another when it descends into body shaming. Some of those comments were 100% uncalled for regardless of what avi he uploaded. Made me really sad reading them, rule breaking shouldn't leave you open to abuse or cruelty. I think the poor fella was just excited to jump into the forum, didn't deserve that 'welcome'. Report it and move on, or if you can't deal with the peril of an unmoderated forum just avoid over the weekend. I don't mean that in a bitchy way it's just a pretty simple thing to do, the forum tends to be quite slow moving over the weekends anyway.

22

I think there are quite a few posts done over the weekend if being honest as it takes me most of Monday morning in playing catchup if I can't get on at a weekend. ![](upload://ez5kOkpKXRZOxjavAURYmQxVTau.gif)

But I agree with your other comments .

23

However I still think it being left unmoderated is leaving the forum open to spam attacks .Most of my time on another forum was removing such cheeky irritating freeloading spamsters .

24

For a change ;) I completely agree with Mysteron - if this forum was moderated outside of UK office hours, then much of the problem would not exist. I even hopped onto live chat to tell them there was a full frontal image lurking about, but they can do nothing I've never understood and will never understand why such a blatant disregard of the rules can't be dealt with my the CC shift manager. There's no discretion required here - remove the image!

25

Could the Australian team moderate at night?

26

I missed the whole thing but that is because I often avoid the forum on weekends due to some spamming that can sometimes happen and because it is less active. I would hate for this type of thing to prevent Lovehoney from hosting this community as I think it is valuable and positive interaction for many people.

27

Oh dear, I am sorry to hear there have been some issues whilst away. 

I think we can all agree that sometimes typed words can be taken in a way that maybe was not meant. I mean there is no real way of emphasising the tone on many occasions.

I can not fully comment on the issue that came about but I can certainly address many member's questions and concerns: 

HOW should we go about reporting this type of incident AND let others know that it has been reported?

By using the report function, all info related to this is in the welcome thread that is always sticky at the top of page 1. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/inside-lovehoney/1577019-welcome-to-the-lovehoney-forum-please-read/

Further details here: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/inside-lovehoney/1351670-reporting-threads-please-read/

You can then simply post on the thread if you wish to say it had been reported. However, if you see someone else has posted this... Is there a need to post again to state they have broken the rules?

OR just report it, it does not matter how many we get as we will take all reports into account. Threads/ Avis often get reported more than once. 

How does the thread get reported? Does the first person call/contact the live chat and reply REPORTED in the offending thread?

See above

In regards to moderation at the weekend. We tried, it broke the forum many a time, it simply does not work as not everyone has the training to manage it. Even after the training given it can be tricky for someone for example in customer care to manage the forum as well as their workload.  

I mean this in the best way possible but... You are all adults and we believe that you should all be able to deal with the forum and its rules as such. I am not in the forum Mon to Fri 9-5. I have many other jobs to do that are business related so it will never be moderated 24/7.

Also, I do not believe this an issue every weekend. This is a rare incident. 

Actually, I have had to remove more during working hours than I have on a Monday.

Yes, there is the odd Monday it is more than usual but then again there are Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays... So you see it does no matter the time of day or day of the week if someone will break the rules they will do so. We will then deal with them the best way we see fit. 

You will see on every social media platform that rules are broken... I mean FB don't they rely on people to report? I have personally taken myself of Twitter for the amount of porn I see so once again does this platform reply on people to report? Yes. 

When I am on holiday the forum is moderated by another moderator so the cover is adequately put in place.  

I hope this addresses many of your queries. 

28

Lovehoney - Leanne wrote:

Oh dear, I am sorry to hear there have been some issues whilst away.

I think we can all agree that sometimes typed words can be taken in a way that maybe was not meant. I mean there is no real way of emphasising the tone on many occasions.

I can not fully comment on the issue that came about but I can certainly address many member's questions and concerns:

HOW should we go about reporting this type of incident AND let others know that it has been reported?

By using the report function, all info related to this is in the welcome thread that is always sticky at the top of page 1. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/inside-lovehoney/1577019-welcome-to-the-lovehoney-forum-please-read/

Further details here: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/inside-lovehoney/1351670-reporting-threads-please-read/

You can then simply post on the thread if you wish to say it had been reported. However, if you see someone else has posted this... Is there a need to post again to state they have broken the rules?

OR just report it, it does not matter how many we get as we will take all reports into account. Threads/ Avis often get reported more than once.

How does the thread get reported? Does the first person call/contact the live chat and reply REPORTED in the offending thread?

See above

In regards to moderation at the weekend. We tried, it broke the forum many a time, it simply does not work as not everyone has the training to manage it. Even after the training given it can be tricky for someone for example in customer care to manage the forum as well as their workload.

I mean this in the best way possible but... You are all adults and we believe that you should all be able to deal with the forum and its rules as such. I am not in the forum Mon to Fri 9-5. I have many other jobs to do that are business related so it will never be moderated 24/7.

Also, I do not believe this an issue every weekend. This is a rare incident.

Actually, I have had to remove more during working hours than I have on a Monday.

Yes, there is the odd Monday it is more than usual but then again there are Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays... So you see it does no matter the time of day or day of the week if someone will break the rules they will do so. We will then deal with them the best way we see fit.

You will see on every social media platform that rules are broken... I mean FB don't they rely on people to report? I have personally taken myself of Twitter for the amount of porn I see so once again does this platform reply on people to report? Yes.

When I am on holiday the forum is moderated by another moderator so the cover is adequately put in place.

I hope this addresses many of your queries.

Thanks Leanne, any chance of having this post of yours as a perminant sticky please.

We all just want to have a good user experience all round. I also take your point about number of occurances, its maybe that you guys during office hours are taking the "Pic finder General" (who is the the incarnate of Peter Cushing???)  to the max and deleting/warning deal to a level where many aren't seeing things for it to be a problem, as opposed to the odd "Rogue" in the AV's gallery we do see.

Welcome back BTW and hope you had a good 'un. x

29

Hi Leanne

In response to some of your points

I dont think anyone is expecting that you should cover the moderation 24/7 . I have lready mentioned that you also have a life to lead as well.

However on saying that I do feel perhaps along with some others that you could with some extra help on occasions such as that weekend gone for instance as that post in particular was left unedited all througfh the weekend .Which wasnt a good advertisement for Lovehoney and contributes nothing towards good public relations

I dont think, as for your valid reasons ,that the extra help needs to come from the Lovehoney Customer Care team as they should be busy enough in attending to customer orders, queries etc These are more important than a forum .

IMO all you need is perhaps a deputy or 2 ( 1 girl ,1 guy perhaps) to come from the membership. Obviously the potential persons would need to be of experience and demonstrated a level of maturity that would be requirement. Perhaps these persons could come from those that have a high number of postings in their profile or long term members . Perhaps as incentive they could be given some points as remuneration . Full powers may not be needed but perhaps the ability to edit and remove offending pictures is all that will be required . And before anyone is thinking that I am after a job , I would have to exculde myself here due to family commitments that have been well documented elsewhere.So others can identify these chosen people as deputy moderators then their posts could be done in another colour such as green or red which could be useful for new members to identify .

Some offending articles particularly those done by new members tend to be more out of niavety than malice . We have to rmember here that English may not be their first language or they may not have had any experience posting on forums before . All that would be required here is perhaps pointing to the rules and some editing .

Other offending articles tend to be Spam which are the scourge of many forums and these are usually done but not always at weekends. There is a reason for that as they well know ( they are experts in their own field ) that many forums are only lightly moderated at weekends . Again these just need to be removed without any explanation .

I think the existing system placing say "reported" in a post can sometimes come accross as hitting a tack with a Mallet especially if its a new member.This person is a human being and has feelings and may not think that he/she has done anything wrong due to the reasons above.

I appreciate it looks a bit like War and Peace but perhaps its something that could be considered.

30

mysteron wrote:

I dont think, as for your valid reasons ,that the extra help needs to come from the Lovehoney Customer Care team as they should be busy enough in attending to customer orders, queries etc These are more important than a forum .

IMO all you need is perhaps a deputy or 2 ( 1 girl ,1 guy perhaps) to come from the membership. Obviously the potential persons would need to be of experience and demonstrated a level of maturity that would be requirement. Perhaps these persons could come from those that have a high number of postings in their profile or long term members . Perhaps as incentive they could be given some points as remuneration . Full powers may not be needed but perhaps the ability to edit and remove offending pictures is all that will be required . 

This is a great point and would be a great solution. However, I must stress we have tried in the past and this was one of the avenues visited. 

Please trust when I say we have tried avenues to help with the situation as we do want you all to be safe too. 

However as stated all social platforms rely on some interaction from members in the means of a report function. 

31

Lovehoney - Leanne wrote:

mysteron wrote:

I dont think, as for your valid reasons ,that the extra help needs to come from the Lovehoney Customer Care team as they should be busy enough in attending to customer orders, queries etc These are more important than a forum .

IMO all you need is perhaps a deputy or 2 ( 1 girl ,1 guy perhaps) to come from the membership. Obviously the potential persons would need to be of experience and demonstrated a level of maturity that would be requirement. Perhaps these persons could come from those that have a high number of postings in their profile or long term members . Perhaps as incentive they could be given some points as remuneration . Full powers may not be needed but perhaps the ability to edit and remove offending pictures is all that will be required .

This is a great point and would be a great solution. However, I must stress we have tried in the past and this was one of the avenues visited.

Please trust when I say we have tried avenues to help with the situation as we do want you all to be safe too.

However as stated all social platforms rely on some interaction from members in the means of a report function.

Perhaps it could be given a revisitation . I can easily think of 4 people ( 2 guys 2 Girls) that I think have the necessary credentials for the tasks at hand. I must stress this role shouldnt stop them joining in with any of the forum conversations as well . In fact it should be encouraged so that they are around to diffuse any potential problem sitiuation or offer guidance and help to those new members that need it.

32

Members are able to comment if they wish. 

Members can use the report button put in place for them to use.

OR they can not it is up to you as members what you do in the scenario. 

If a situation arises that someone has broken the rules I feel as adults we should be equipped to deal with it in an appropriate manner. 

Either way, this is how it works and has done for a long time.

I really must stress that this is a rare occurrence. Perhaps if it was not we would look at the forum as a whole and see what use and functionality it has in comparison to cost to run. 

33

Lovehoney - Leanne wrote:

Members are able to comment if they wish.

Members can use the report button put in place for them to use.

OR they can not it is up to you as members what you do in the scenario.

If a situation arises that someone has broken the rules I feel as adults we should be equipped to deal with it in an appropriate manner.

Either way, this is how it works and has done for a long time.

I really must stress that this is a rare occurrence. Perhaps if it was not we would look at the forum as a whole and see what use and functionality it has in comparison to cost to run.

I see a couple of problems with the report button as things stand.

I was the one who reported the offending Avi PIcture and I reported some time very early Saturday morning. It was still there over the whole weekend( I checked at nightime) . I did leave a criptic message ( perhaps too criptic ) that I had reported it in another thread but not to look as though I was being nasty in doing so. I was also worried ,perhaps overly worried about what the new member would think and didnt want to panic him as he is a human being after all . I want to encourage new members not scare them off for an oversight .My thread politely requesting him to remove it was ignored. Perhaps he didnt think I had any authority ? And I dont.

An assistand mod or Super Squirrel if youl ike could have easily diffused this situation quite easily and none of the ramifications of others getting warnings etc would have bee needed or ensued

I appreciate that this was a one off but I have seen quite a few albeit not recently whereby an "illega"l post has been done over a weekend and its been quite some time after it has been removed . So perhaps isolated yes but rare no . And again I have reported at least 2 others previously that were posted at weekends

Perhaps another idea that once the post has been reported it automatically locks that thread until it is deemed suitable for unlocking after editing etc. That way it prevents the look of ganging up or bullying which I am sure wasnt the case but sometimes looks that way.

34

mysteron wrote:

Lovehoney - Leanne wrote:

Members are able to comment if they wish.

Members can use the report button put in place for them to use.

OR they can not it is up to you as members what you do in the scenario.

If a situation arises that someone has broken the rules I feel as adults we should be equipped to deal with it in an appropriate manner.

Either way, this is how it works and has done for a long time.

I really must stress that this is a rare occurrence. Perhaps if it was not we would look at the forum as a whole and see what use and functionality it has in comparison to cost to run.

I see a couple of problems with the report button as things stand.

I was the one who reported the offending Avi PIcture and I reported some time very early Saturday morning. It was still there over the whole weekend( I checked at nightime) . I did leave a criptic message ( perhaps too criptic ) that I had reported it in another thread but not to look as though I was being nasty in doing so. I was also worried ,perhaps overly worried about what the new member would think and didnt want to panic him as he is a human being after all . I want to encourage new members not scare them off for an oversight .My thread politely requesting him to remove it was ignored. Perhaps he didnt think I had any authority ? And I dont.

An assistand mod or Super Squirrel if youl ike could have easily diffused this situation quite easily and none of the ramifications of others getting warnings etc would have bee needed or ensued

I appreciate that this was a one off but I have seen quite a few albeit not recently whereby an "illega"l post has been done over a weekend and its been quite some time after it has been removed . So perhaps isolated yes but rare no . And again I have reported at least 2 others previously that were posted at weekends

Perhaps another idea that once the post has been reported it automatically locks that thread until it is deemed suitable for unlocking after editing etc. That way it prevents the look of ganging up or bullying which I am sure wasnt the case but sometimes looks that way.

As well meaning as this post is, and from somebody I truly respect, when I came here it was because I would be safe in regards to my data. Having somebody from the "outside" regardless of their status as a poster would destroy the trust I place in LH to look after me.

Human nature being as its, the temptation to "peek" at hidden data that having access to the workings of the forum would provide, would I feel be a burden on the "volunteer". The way it stands now, any breach in the data trust issue can be dealt with by LH and their team. Sub-contracting this issue, will in my view, be more offensive than anything (well almost) posted in words or as an AVI. The moment this happens, all creditability that LH have magnificently created in this industry will be lost. And my custom along with it.

35

You can all jump on me for this if you want......but this seems an awful lot of fuss over a square inch photo xx

36

Terri JJ wrote:

You can all jump on me for this if you want......but this seems an awful lot of fuss over a square inch photo xx

100% agree.

Why not report it and just leave it. Like I and many others did.

Creating threads/discussing it in other threads does not help. It is no one elses job other than the LH team to handle situations like this. Report it and leave it up to LH, end of. They know what they are doing. I also agree with TD NOT appointing a member of the community to moderate, this highlights favouritism, confidentiality, all sorts. Big no no.

Lovehoney are not asking for tips and ideas on how to resolve this, yes, RARE incident. So stop trying to force ideas where they quite frankly, aren't being asked for ? I mean that in the nicest of ways...

As leanne quite rightly pointed out, we're all adults, so surely we should be trusted with this forum on the weekends no?...

The OP hasn't come back or commented else where that I've noticed, which I feel is a huge shame.

🐼

37

Tiger Dick wrote:

mysteron wrote:

Lovehoney - Leanne wrote:

Members are able to comment if they wish.

Members can use the report button put in place for them to use.

OR they can not it is up to you as members what you do in the scenario.

If a situation arises that someone has broken the rules I feel as adults we should be equipped to deal with it in an appropriate manner.

Either way, this is how it works and has done for a long time.

I really must stress that this is a rare occurrence. Perhaps if it was not we would look at the forum as a whole and see what use and functionality it has in comparison to cost to run.

I see a couple of problems with the report button as things stand.

I was the one who reported the offending Avi PIcture and I reported some time very early Saturday morning. It was still there over the whole weekend( I checked at nightime) . I did leave a criptic message ( perhaps too criptic ) that I had reported it in another thread but not to look as though I was being nasty in doing so. I was also worried ,perhaps overly worried about what the new member would think and didnt want to panic him as he is a human being after all . I want to encourage new members not scare them off for an oversight .My thread politely requesting him to remove it was ignored. Perhaps he didnt think I had any authority ? And I dont.

An assistand mod or Super Squirrel if youl ike could have easily diffused this situation quite easily and none of the ramifications of others getting warnings etc would have bee needed or ensued

I appreciate that this was a one off but I have seen quite a few albeit not recently whereby an "illega"l post has been done over a weekend and its been quite some time after it has been removed . So perhaps isolated yes but rare no . And again I have reported at least 2 others previously that were posted at weekends

Perhaps another idea that once the post has been reported it automatically locks that thread until it is deemed suitable for unlocking after editing etc. That way it prevents the look of ganging up or bullying which I am sure wasnt the case but sometimes looks that way.

As well meaning as this post is, and from somebody I truly respect, when I came here it was because I would be safe in regards to my data. Having somebody from the "outside" regardless of their status as a poster would destroy the trust I place in LH to look after me.

Human nature being as its, the temptation to "peek" at hidden data that having access to the workings of the forum would provide, would I feel be a burden on the "volunteer". The way it stands now, any breach in the data trust issue can be dealt with by LH and their team. Sub-contracting this issue, will in my view, be more offensive than anything (well almost) posted in words or as an AVI. The moment this happens, all creditability that LH have magnificently created in this industry will be lost. And my custom along with it.

With the greatest of respect I dont understand your problem here . Nobody as said anything about accessing your private information . We are just talking about a limited abiltiy to edit . Nothing more nothing less

38

Terri JJ wrote:

You can all jump on me for this if you want......but this seems an awful lot of fuss over a square inch photo xx

Omg ..... I am so with you on this Terri jj ! I can't seem to understand what all the fuss is about too ! If people find offence to some photos over the weekend then just report and scroll past !

39

SquirtyPanda wrote:

Terri JJ wrote:

You can all jump on me for this if you want......but this seems an awful lot of fuss over a square inch photo xx

100% agree.

Why not report it and just leave it. Like I and many others did.

Creating threads/discussing it in other threads does not help. It is no one elses job other than the LH team to handle situations like this. Report it and leave it up to LH, end of. They know what they are doing.

Lovehoney are not asking for tips and ideas on how to resolve this, yes, RARE incident. So stop trying to force ideas where they quite frankly, aren't being asked for ? I mean that in the nicest of ways...

As leanne quite rightly pointed out, we're all adults, so surely we should be trusted with this forum on the weekends no?...

The OP hasn't come back or commented else where that I've noticed, which I feel is a huge shame.

🐼

+1 😊

40

I totally agree that no more fussing over this is needed. The issue was addressed and we reinforced rules. 

We have now addressed the concerns and answered the questions raised. 

Thank you all for your input I will now close this thread for information use only.