Ok, I havent been around much in the last 2 months, but what I have seen on the forums in the few times that I have popped is jealousy, anger, tensions, agressive behaviour etc etc, This is not the lovehoney I used to love.
I dont know if anyone else if thinking the same. Maybe I have been away too long. But I had noticed a change in the forums over the last 2/3 months.
This place should be a place for everyone to talk openly about anything sexual issues, personal relatinships,sex, etc etc. Not for tic tac posts etc and grievances against one another.
Im saddened to see what is going on with the forums lately.
I rarely post any more either Dee, tend to feel out of the cliques there are so don't tend to bother, too many threads seem to exclude lots of people to me, so better to not comment.
Having been here a while, it's sad that the old forum spirit apppears to have gone, but guess that's the nature of forums, people move on and new people arrive, changing how things are... To my mind this has been happening over more than 2/3 months, it's certainly a few more than that where I haven't felt able to really post in anything.
Ah, I thought it was just me MTC - I rarely come on here now, as I do not have much to say or feel I can contribute to. It does seem there are a few that like to dominate the forums, and because I cant keep up with things (as i am not on her much) I have nothing to contribute. It never used to be like this.
But there are some of the regulars here that I love chatting to, and catching up with. It just seems every time I come on here - there seems to be lots of negative posta. Its meant to be fun here and serious and fun forum posts. But there is nothing I feel I can contribute to.
No not just you, me too, and I know some of the others who don't post here now don't do it for the same reasons we've described. I still have a look around the threads from time to time but each time I do I sigh and wonder why. The odd time I have posted I've either been ignored or had what I believe to be unnecessary responses back, and my life is stressful enough without engaging in some pointless internet argument...
But yes used to be fun for me here, had some great laughs and chats with people, but peoples' lives move on I guess...
I agree with you both there, I haven't been here long but in the short time it feels like I've had less and less to say. Lots of posts end up excluding the majority and I would hate to be a new person joining now, it's be enough to put me off getting involved. Even the friendly regular posts which felt like a 'way in' seem to be vanishing from the system.
Lots of negative posts too. Let's hope it's just end of summer blues getting people down and maybe with Christmas coming up (yeah, i said it) the community spirit will pick up again!
Yh the mood on here has defo changed in recent weeks/ months
It was all happy times people being there for each other. Ive been trying to keep this place as more of a community than just a forum x but recently theres been a lot of negativity as Rouge says. Realtionships not working, people getting fired, sexual frustrations sutff like tht has really got the community down at the moment and theres not a lot for people to get there hopes up about :(
Personally there are some forum members i feel over post and it excludes others (not naming names). Fair enough posting on a lot of threads but some threads seem more of just a conversation between two people than an actually thread, and well to put it bluntly, chats there for a reason!
Hmm some fair points here, I think. I've also noticed bad feeling crops up far more than it used to be when I first started reading the forum back in April.
Having said that, it took me quite a while to feel like a part of the community and I feel more involved now. Then again, I'm here a lot because I get pretty bored and don't quite know what to do with myself half the time because I can't help procrastinating with the things I really ought to be doing. Other sites that used to interest me take up less time than they used to and the computer is almost always switched on. But yeah, there are a lot of threads now that I'm not interested in so I tend to go for the old ones like "I could do with " and "deal of the day" and the ones where people are asking for advice.
I'm one of the newer members as I started posting in June but new members have joined since then who seem to be taking over the forums. Steve's post pretty much sums up how I feel about it all, especially the last paragraph :)
And I'm sorry to hear it puts people like Dee and MTC off posting on the forums as they have been on here for quite a while. I just wish people would consider what they post on here as some posts/threads are pretty much pointless and discourage others from getting involved.
Oh yeah, just wanted to say that I think it's sad there seem to be fewer people asking for help or advice (makes useful reading for inexperienced people like myself and I also like being able to help people on the rare occasions I actually can!) and an increase in the sleazier side of things such as people joining in the hope of cybersex or talking about their own sexual activities in more detail than is necessary...
what anoys me the most is when someone posts a thread asking for help and the first comment is just " look at this thread" or a link to another thread
fair enough if there are like 2 identical threads going at once but even then you should says " you might wana look here there are some good advice" then give a brief review of that thread!
You wouldnt go to the doctors for help and expect them to go " yh ive already told someone about this today go speak to them"
what anoys me the most is when someone posts a thread asking for help and the first comment is just " look at this thread" or a link to another thread
fair enough if there are like 2 identical threads going at once but even then you should says " you might wana look here there are some good advice" then give a brief review of that thread!
You wouldnt go to the doctors for help and expect them to go " yh ive already told someone about this today go speak to them"
Some people do over post IMO, but they are just having fun. See a thread you dont like? then just ignore it.
As for feeling like you cant post... just butt your keyboard in there and join in :) xx
I posted for help a few weeks back and watch disheartened as the thread disapeared without a reply. Definitely put me off doing it again.
:O i try to help out on all the thread like tht (unless its somthing i cant help with obvs) what was it about?
Well this particular one wouldn't have been one you could answer :P Was about squirting. I just figured maybe people had already answered a similar question and didn't want to do so again. Fair enough really.
I posted for help a few weeks back and watch disheartened as the thread disapeared without a reply. Definitely put me off doing it again.
:O i try to help out on all the thread like tht (unless its somthing i cant help with obvs) what was it about?
Well this particular one wouldn't have been one you could answer :P Was about squirting. I just figured maybe people had already answered a similar question and didn't want to do so again. Fair enough really.
well that might be why i didnt answer :P. There are a few threads been recently about squriting that ive seen around but not look at them at all im afriad so still cant help </3
I posted for help a few weeks back and watch disheartened as the thread disapeared without a reply. Definitely put me off doing it again.
:O i try to help out on all the thread like tht (unless its somthing i cant help with obvs) what was it about?
Well this particular one wouldn't have been one you could answer :P Was about squirting. I just figured maybe people had already answered a similar question and didn't want to do so again. Fair enough really.
well that might be why i didnt answer :P. There are a few threads been recently about squriting that ive seen around but not look at them at all im afriad so still cant help </3
Yes, I did tack it on to an older thread so I didn't start a new arbitrary one but seems it didn't attract any attention. Oh well, maybe next time I have a problem I'll give it another go and see if I get a response.
I feel I should just say something here, I was going to reply to individual points but I shan't. I think it's fair to say where some of this has come from given the timing of this thread vs. others and I do agree and I think sometimes it's easy when you are on here for the length of time some people are during the day it's easy to get carried away and thread spam, sometimes this is as a result of having a chat with someone then the next day or whatever someone being off line and the other person making a reference to it for when the other person returns. Points duly noted on the feels like a chat thing though.
The point about everything feels grumpy and sad around here, I think a community is what you put into it and sometimes there will be periods where shit is generally going down and I think we owe it to our friends to support them in whatever they are going through, good and bad. One thing that very much appeals to me about this forum is the community spirit and social aspect..I have received an inordinate amount of love and friendship here and (OK I know I said I wouldn't do this sorry Steve) but I feel this is quite unfair:
Realtionships not working, people getting fired, sexual frustrations sutff like tht has really got the community down at the moment and theres not a lot for people to get there hopes up about :(
I understand what you mean but that to my mind is exactly what makes this place special, that no matter what is going on and how much crap people have to put up with in their daily lives they can come here and have a rant and have some amazing wonderful people cheer them up..to my mind that is a lot to be hopeful for..how many people can honestly say in their daily lives they can be as open and honest as they are here and receive such support back? Perhaps this is me looking at it with rose tinted spectacles but to me I often catch myself smiling when someone comes on here for a moan, gets advice/cheer ups/support and then posts saying how much better they feel.
The linking back to old thread thing..it happens on forums, not the nicest thing I know and I fully understand the need for bespoke advice but you'll often find people who've been there done it before get frustrated at typing the same thing 10x over, and to play devils advocat to this..this is exactly why the search function exists. Lovehoney have an extremely lax policy on this..on a lot of forums you wouldn't be given such leeway and I've seen people handed infractions for starting thread on topics very similar. I agree people should be made to feel welcome and be able to freely ask advice but one the other hand I also feel people should perhaps do a bit of research for themselves and then ask to anything they are unsure about.
I use, and moderate another forum for a large e-tailer and have done so for the best part of 6 years now and that community has undergone huge shifts in the community and as unfortunate as this may be, 'the old days' thing just doesn't work. I know it's nice to look back and think ah I miss the old days but we're not talking about a village social club, this is the internet where things change faster than most people can keep up - in the case of this and most forums, new people sign up - different personallities, different views and ways of posting, different level of care to posts etc. and forums will and do go through changes both good and bad and I've seen many a time a forum slip into bad patches. I totally agree this place needs a bit of smartening up shall we say but I don't for one second believe it has gone to the dogs, it is just having a bit of a rough patch with a few bad bits happening here and there. It will change again and it will be new again, it won't ever return to how it used to be, but if we all work together and just remember what a great community we MAKE here, we can hopefully move forwards whilst also maintaining some traditions :)
