Ah @Mrs.John
What a shame! That’s so sad to hear. I hope you guys find your way back to each other.
As another member said, you are one of the best on here!
Relationships … so hard to know what will happen. Sounds like you two have a lot of history together, and there must have been a lot of love and shared values.
This too shall pass …
Keep trying to do the next right thing and you will be ok, with or without him.
Wishing you all the best, for whatever happens next
XX
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“We have both changed obviously, particularly me since lockdown, Im more anxious, less sociable, bit of a neat freak”.
Any aspects that you have noticed a change in , need to be addressed.
I myself need to consider aspects of my day to day interaction . We do not have any problems, but being aware of yourself is very important.( for both in a relationship)
Try and get that time away together to reconnect.
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@jaffauk I do have moments of this.
I also dont want to throw away 24 years together, 12 years married and a teenage Son’s security without trying to mend this.
Im all over the place at the moment. Had a decent day yesterday, woke up this morning feeling like Ive been hit by a truck.
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@Goth_Girl he isn’t sure that therapy will help (I understand that) but wants to try.
He said he “just wants the feelings back”. No idea how to do that without help.
We had a very frank conversation yesterday about things that happened around the time his feeling started to change. I have neglected myself somewhat which has had a knock on effect. I need to rectify these things for myself regardless if it saves our marriage or not.
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Stay strong…you will come out of this bleak time, whether its with your husband or not.
Remember to practice self care every day to help with your mental health. 
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@Mrs.John … it is an unfortunate fact that people can suffer mid life crisis( can be irrational). Its most likely that is where your husband is at the moment.
Dont do anything hastily and work together. You are right to try to preserve the time thats been invested in your relationship.
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You do to some degree, although I’ve heard the “you’re neglecting yourself” excuse far too many times (across friends and their relationships), and most of the time, it doesn’t wash - it is just trying to pass the blame on to someone else. If he wants to try another relationship, he needs to own it and not attempt to pass the blame on to you, and you need to not accept that blame - it isn’t your fault.
Edited to add: The fact that you’ve both changed and aren’t the people you once were is fine. It is a normal part of growing up. And sometimes people do grow apart, and sometimes people do change enough so that another relationship is the right way to go. And sometimes it can all be sorted out in some way. Really, what I wanted to add it for you to look after yourself and take care.
Through my parent’s and my husband’s parents divorces, all sorts of things like the above came out. Often, trying to deflect the blame onto the other party. If he isn’t doing that, then that’s amazing. But if he is, then you need to be aware. How you deal with it is another matter. Confronting it isn’t always the way.
The main thing is to know it is happening. In these circumstances, you have to have your eyes open all the times, and that is so hard when your heart is broken into pieces. You know that lie detector you use with your teen, it needs deploying here. Many hugs @Mrs.John
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Mrs J
Sending a virtual hug
X
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Omg @Mrs.John I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I really hope you work things out through counselling or couples therapy. Take all the time you need to look after yourself too, sending lots of hugs and support xx
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Haha musketeers assemble!! 
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@AJSTAR How are you doing 
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I’m so sorry to hear this mrs John. X
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Thanks all, he booked our first therapy session for this Friday. Will just see how it goes.
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Good luck to you both @Mrs.John, hope you both get to a happy place for yourself, where ever that is. Life is too short to be in a place where you are not happy.
Been there an tried to make it work, but for me once it got to that point the genie was out of the bottle and they don’t go back in!
Happiness is everything and everybody deserves some.
Think of yourself first and make sure you understand your feeling before you go to counselling and don’t be railroaded because ‘it is the right thing to do’.
Be safe, be sane but above all be happy x
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Good luck hun @Mrs.John fingers crossed you get things sorted 
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Wow when i seen the thread i never expected it to be you @Mrs.John I’ve always looked at your posts with jealousy at how passionate your sex life with the husband reads. Really hope things work out between you both.
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Came as a shock to me too @Scottishfunk just shows you never really know what is going on in someone else’s head.
Whatever happens next I will be fine, spent this afternoon and evening with my Son, real quality time. Feeling much better x
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@Mrs.John So sorry to hear this news.
Hopefully the therapy can help to resolve things for him.
Looks after yourself, and as difficult as it is try to remain strong.
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@Mrs.John I really feel for you hun. So many big cwtches, cariad. Counselling worked for us & I hope it helps for you too, but most importantly it was the start of understanding each other better. In the process we became ourselves again - after long years of mostly being defined in relation to other people (parents, children, siblings etc). That continues to be a gift.
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That’s all that matters your mental well-being hun hopefully he and you won’t badly effected @Mrs.John your mentally strong hun hope you stay so whatever happens
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