This is a difficult one, I matched with someone on Tinder by accident but started chatting, we have a lot in common but I am not attracted to her sexually, she is very large (size 22+) which is not my thing. We ended up sexting and having video sex between Chrstmas and New Year. She has poposed meeting in person for sex, I am in not sexualy attracted to her but she wants to explore some kinks with me which I really enjoy but she really wants a relationship but also wants to do a booty call with e next week. Should I go through with it, I really want to explore those kinks and have sex as its been a while due to health issues ,. but I am not attracted to her in the slightest. she is also very very sweet and I think she really wants a relaitonship and I dont want to lead her on. She has said on a number of occasions she wants a relationship, but is also very open with sex. The first time we meet in person and she wants us to be having sex within 30 mins of meeting.
Doesnât sound fair to me. So I would say to stop leading this individual on for your own sexual pleasure.
I think you should stop stringing her along. You just want to satisfy you kinks and then depart which would be very cruel.
@brum1983
Welcome to the club
I agree with others- she sounds wonderful and you should say you are looking for a hook up only and if she agrees then itâs ok to enjoy the sex - but make it clear itâs sex only and no relationship
Sheâs made it clear she wants a relationship. As you donât, you should be honest with her. She deserves better than to be strung along.
Communication is the key, tell her the way you feel and arenât after a relationship. Then you can either move on together or move on separately
â I am not attracted to her in the slightest. she is also very very sweet and I think she really wants a relaitonship and I dont want to lead her on. â
So donât lead her on then. Do you really need the good folk on this board to tell you what you are doing is plain wrong? She wants a relationship, you donât because âshe is very large (size 22+) which is not my thing.â
Satisfy your needs with someone who wants a casual relationship.
Personally I think what youâre doing is disgusting. Youâre not interested in a relationship with her, sexual or otherwise, so stop leading her on and donât use her to satisfy your kinks when youâre not attracted to her. She would be heartbroken to find that out.
As a person who has been led on in the past, please donât do it. If it is not going to go anywhere, be frank with her and move on.
Personally I think itâs disgusting what youâre doing to her. As you said, sheâs made it clear what she wants, but as you stated youâre not interested in her whatsoever, you just want to satisfy yourself and want to get your leg over because itâs been awhile, and want to do your kinks. As a âvery large personâ myself and being on the receiving end of a person like you is not very nice and it doesnât feel nice being treated like that - being used
Stop wasting her time and stop treating her as if she isnât a person with her own wants, desires and emotions that matter. You arenât for each other. Stop making her think you are.
The fact you even had to ask advice on this speaks volume .
What you are doing is horrendous .
Grow up and let her move on with someone who deserves her attention and her body and all things that make her an amazing person .
Go and get your kink fix with someone who is on the same page as you
It never goes well when you think with your dic rather than your heart. Keep looking on your dating sites until you find a 'friend with benefits" so neither of you have any commitments or emotional ties. There are people out there like that. As others have said in various ways, I feel this is selfish and certainly not fair to her and especially when you fully admit you are not attracted to her. Quit leading her on because you will only hurt her in the end.
This is not a difficult one at all. I myself am a âvery large plus size girlâ and i find it absolutely disgusting and disgraceful how your treating her. She probably thinks she has even the slkmest of chances eith you since you have been leading her on. Why would you have sex with someone you have no attraction to just because she has kinks you want to tryâŚshe will pick up you arnt attracted to her and you will potentially damage her self esteem by doing this (i have veen in this position myself and it feels 10x worse as a plus size girl because theres already men out there who dont find us the inch bit attractive but just want sex). If it was an accident you should have said that right away and stopped contact instead of her getting her hopes up she may have finally found someone
One does not accidentally match with someone.