I'm new here and would like some people's advice if that's ok.
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now and it seems as if the spark has gone. When we first got together it was amazing we tried everything and we enjoyed it, she especially loved anal, but all of a sudden it just stopped it went from having sex 4 times a week down to like 3 times a month sometimes less, Saying this normally every 4-5months we go away for a long weekend or so and everything is different, she loves dressing up, loves all sorts of different positions, surprises me with lingerie etc etc, but then as soon as we come back it's like nothing happened the spark just goes. She has booked a weekend away for us both at the end of May, she has ordered a few bits from this website (I have no idea what they are) but she said she's wants to try new things ie: facials, cream pie, light bondage. I'm looking forward to it but I'm dreading when we come back as I don't want the spark to go again, I've spoke to her about it and she doesn't really have any answers. Can anyone help Thanks in advance.
Cant really suggest anything other than you could try and relught the fire with a meal out or something seen as you've already talked tp her. ?? Why dont you treat her to something on here x
Problem is matey everyone is different .Based on what you have posted, I don't think there is anything massivly wrong .
Its difficult to tell if both of you live together or with parents or have your own seperate accomodation ie bed sits etc.
My best advice here if not already done so is to shack up together as its difficult to tell if your dodging obstacles all of the time such as parents under the same roof. If parents are still under the same roof then that needs attending to first of all . I am a guy like yourself and that put me off sex big time
It wasn,t until we got our own house that our sex lives really took off. I got caught with my trousers down once with my grandma and its not pleasant and that was all the insentive I needed to get a house of our own!
It looks like you girlfriend is already trying to remedy things a little by planning a weekend away with new things to try .Thats great and proves there isn't much wrong IMHO .I think you are just panicking a little.
If you want to keep the physical stuff going after the weekend away then go back to romancing her . Take her out to dinner etc. woo her, have an old fashioned snog and then perhaps whilst you are out tell her that your going to rip that dress off her when you get back and guage her reaction . One thing I have learn't about women is that they arn't like us blokes. They can't just turn sex on and off like us. Thy need to be warmed up first .
100% well said ^^^^^ me n my bf live in different places with our parents n its a major offf put during sex n often have to stop half way or not express our self as if we would alone
Yeah our situation is pretty hard, I'm 23 and she's 22 and were saving up for our own place as we speak, but you know what it's like now days for first time buyer....no chance yet. But I have taken what you have said into account and going to book something up soon and make her feel special.
Every person and couple are different but having said that there a few thing that might work.
sex vouchers a little tacky but could be a fun way to say you want something a little less ordinary.
Why not treat her to a remote control love egg? She gets to wear it and you get the control. I'm sure you will get her begging for more with minimal effort, and one good turn deserves another.
Your both very young, I dont mean that to sound nore feel condescending, but, there seems to be a lot of pressure for younger people, to be involved sexually or not be involved sexually. Basically you cant win. Seems to me you are doing things right, keep the lines of communication open, be honest and sincere..
Adding to that, I would say., not to take what other people say or think personally, you say things are great when away, but the other way around...I feel, perhaps this is about obligations and `feeling` obligated to others.
If your both living with parents/family that can be a huge thumbs down on the sex/intimacy side of things
I agree with sf. Its hard to have a regular sex life in those circumstances. When i still lived at home my oh would spend fri and sat night there and come over one night in the week when we were alone.
It was only really the night where we were alone (most of the time) that we could have sex. To us though it was normal and it was enough. We werent that adventurous but sex at weekends was us on the floor missionary because the bed was too squeaky!
Of course when we moved in together thats when the fun started! But we were the same as you as we had a couple of holidays together where it was just sex and more sex because we were alone but when we got home it went back to normal.