Hi, my partner and I have a pretty good sex life but lately we have been having sex less and less because when it is time to put condoms on it kills the mood. We still play with each other and have lots of toys but are starting to miss the closeness of actual intercourse.
The issue is that within 30 seconds of starting to play I'm absolutely soaking with pre, great for unprotected sex but a nightmare when you have to put a condom on as I have to go and clean up killing the mood and my erection.
Obviously I could put a condom on before we start but that's not always practical and really takes the spontaneity out of things. We used to have unprotected sex but my partner had a bad reaction to hormonal contraception so had to stop.
Does Anybody have any advice as I adore my partner but really miss being able to as close as possible to her?
Maybe keep some toilet roll or wipes beside the bed, so at least you just have to roll over to clean up prior to the condom?
Alternatively you could try the female condom, as that can be inserted in advance (up to 8 hours I believe) to keep things feeling a little more spontaneous :)
+1 to what lovebirds_x said, I was about to suggest female condoms.
Alternatively you could go for non-hormonal contraception like the copper coil, though that is a lot more invasive and more commitment than the pill or condoms.
You could also try different kinds of hormonal contraception, depending on what sort of reaction she had, as they are different and will cause different reactions. The mini pill, for example, has different hormones to the normal pill, and others have less hormones due to the way they are administered.
I would echo what Lovebirds and ScarlettBlack have said.
I'm sure there would be something suitable to keep close by to clean up with before popping on the condom.
Also I had my own issues with hormonal contraception and after speaking with one doctor it looked like condoms would be the only option. After speaking with another doctor who was far more open to doing a little reseach and sitting with me to discuss many, many options, we have actualy found a contraceptive pill that is suitable for me. So sometimes it is worth a repeat visit to a more helpful G.P.
Alternatively, and this would only work for certain dynamics of relationships, but could you instruct her to maybe keep using a toy while you're gone, or pop a blindfold on and put her into a sexy position and tell her to wait for you while thinking of the things you might do once back.
For various reasons during play, my partner and I often have to stop, usually to get different equipment, pop on gloves, get lube etc. And we just keep the flow going by making the stop part of the tease and fun.
I would say keep the condoms close by to reduce the need to leave the room to do it. And whilst it does take the spontaneity away if they are close by it does not take that long to put one on.
If you have issues with losing you erection in the time it takes to out one on, maybe make it part of your play, get your partner to put it on you perhaps?
+1 to your partner revisiting options with doctor. So many different types out there.
The other question is for you... do you want children someday/ already have children because there is the option for a vasectomy. This is very much permanent but may be an option if your family status / age are a match.
I would definitely involve your partner in putting on thw condom. I've always found it much better when the girl has put the condom on me. It turns me on that she's showing that she's ready for me to enter her and I get harder as she rolls the condom on rather than my erection weakening at all. Especially if she gives me a kiss as she's finishing the job.
+1 to what lovebirds_x said, I was about to suggest female condoms.
Alternatively you could go for non-hormonal contraception like the copper coil, though that is a lot more invasive and more commitment than the pill or condoms.
You could also try different kinds of hormonal contraception, depending on what sort of reaction she had, as they are different and will cause different reactions. The mini pill, for example, has different hormones to the normal pill, and others have less hormones due to the way they are administered.
Be very careful of the mini pill it has to be taken exactly the same time each day, miss one çould be a disaster. That happened to my best friends relative.
+1 to what lovebirds_x said, I was about to suggest female condoms.
Alternatively you could go for non-hormonal contraception like the copper coil, though that is a lot more invasive and more commitment than the pill or condoms.
You could also try different kinds of hormonal contraception, depending on what sort of reaction she had, as they are different and will cause different reactions. The mini pill, for example, has different hormones to the normal pill, and others have less hormones due to the way they are administered.
Be very careful of the mini pill it has to be taken exactly the same time each day, miss one çould be a disaster. That happened to my best friends relative.
There are some options avilable that are not this rigid, my mini pill for example needs to be taken 'around' the same time each day, however if you forget and take it within 12 hours then all should be well. My old contraceptive pill which was a combined pill, did indeed have to be taken at the exact same time everyday and if I forgot by a few hours I'd often have some spotting, which was a totaly pain.
+1 to what lovebirds_x said, I was about to suggest female condoms.
Alternatively you could go for non-hormonal contraception like the copper coil, though that is a lot more invasive and more commitment than the pill or condoms.
You could also try different kinds of hormonal contraception, depending on what sort of reaction she had, as they are different and will cause different reactions. The mini pill, for example, has different hormones to the normal pill, and others have less hormones due to the way they are administered.
Be very careful of the mini pill it has to be taken exactly the same time each day, miss one çould be a disaster. That happened to my best friends relative.
There are some options avilable that are not this rigid, my mini pill for example needs to be taken 'around' the same time each day, however if you forget and take it within 12 hours then all should be well. My old contraceptive pill which was a combined pill, did indeed have to be taken at the exact same time everyday and if I forgot by a few hours I'd often have some spotting, which was a totaly pain.
I'm so glad I was sterilised never needed to worry again.
Whether the condom's in your wallet or bedside drawer, keep a couple of sheets of toilet tissue wrapped up with it. Will delay you being ready to put it on by all of an extra 5 seconds....
I do agree with a few other people have said that when it is time to put the condom on, do it in the bedroom and have it on the side ready so all you got to do is open the foil packet and get your partner to put it on for you. There is the feeling of togetherness by letting your partner to do this for you.
That's what I was going to suggest Andy1472 just ask her to suck it away although I too am really curious as to why you would need any precum to be gone?
I presume the clean up is regarding the the risk of sperm in the precum. The jury appears to out on the subject some studies have found little and no evidence of sperm in precum but a couple of studies recently have, although the study population was limited. Suppose its up an individual whether this is a risk they want to take when there's no definitive proof either way.