HI SO I'M NEW TO THIS FORUM THING. I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS, 2 KIDS, YADA YADA. THING IS I RECENTLY CAME OFF THE PILL AND THINGS HAVE TOTALLY CHANGED. I'M LIKE A NEW WOMAN! PERIMENOMAUSAL AND ALL THAT, IT'S GREAT! ONLY THING IS I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A TEENAGER AND IN MY TWENTIES SO I'M NOT OVERLY CONFIDENT. I TOTALLY TRUST MY HUSBAND (EVENTUALLY - IT'S TAKEN THE BEST PART OF 20 YEARS!) BUT ANY TIPS WOULD BE APPRECIATED. I'M NOT CONFIDENT TO PARADE AROUND IN SEXY UNDERWEAR - I'VE HAD 2 KIDS!! BUT I'D QUITE LIKE TO, ANY TIPS??
Welcome, have fun and do what feels right for yourself and partner remember he loves you and o bet he would love to see you in some sexy lingerie most of all have fun
I would say that you should not push yourself into something which may be too much. How about starting with something less revealing, like neglige, if you really want to start?
Something like a babydoll or chemise often is not as showing off, but can still be very sexy, I think. I am not sure about your size, but this is what I meant
Hi, welcome to the forum. Just to let you know that typing in all caps can be seen as shouting on forums and it’s not the best etiquette, so I would avoid doing that in future :)
Maybe you could start out with something floaty like a babydoll with a robe over the top? I’ve often done this on days where I want to feel better about myself but don’t feel like being revealing.
Hey MRSMCP - Welcome to the forums! I feel for you, my lovely.... as I totally lack confidence too.... I wasn't always like this, years ago I was, maybe, over-confident. But the weight gain factor has left me feeling like I look like a bag of cack in everything I wear! I think our partners can make us feel more confident if they try....sadly MrSpider is very critical - he won't 'lie' and say I look nice...he'll tell the 'truth' and tell me I need to lose weight rather than wear sexy undies to cover the flab!
Oh no that's no good! He shouldn't be telling you to lose weight, he should be complimenting you! No wonder you're not confident. Sometimes I wonder why we bother!
Oh my goodness when will men learn that what we say to women has a massive effect on confidence. Guys say something nice atleast once a day and you will reap the rewards in the long run.
MRSMCP, i slightly understand where you are coming from. I wasn't sexually abused but i was physically abused as a young child. I then hated some kitchen utensils. The way i got around it and to the point i am at now was to expose myself to it. I would use said items when alone. Using them for 5 minutes then 10 and so on and so on. Over time it no longer had any sort of effect. Try wearing your sexy underwear when you are alone parade around for yourself. The more you get use to it the more confident you will become.
Best of luck to you.
I agree with the others who recomended a babydoll to start with. It's loose and flowy but still sexy.
When you see your OH's reaction to you in it it's worth the nerves.
Welcome to the forums!
I'm sure our lovely members will be able to offer their stirling insight on your post.
When you get a moment, please familiarise yourself with the Forum Rules and try not to write in all CAPS in future (it's really hard to read!)
Hello, hope you are finding your way around the site, enjoy !
Hi and welcome to the forums :)
A floaty babydoll gets my vote too. Some of them sold here at Lovehoney are stunning. If you are able to wear stockings with it so much the better. As a tip, choose a suspender belt which is nice and deep.....they're fab at hiding a tummy and make you feel super sexy xx