I beg to differ in some ways, but then it's only my opinion. I do agree with you though that it is not right that he has knocked you back when you have tried to kiss him and take things further. But when it comes to your quick play session and you were unable to cum yourself it's really doesn't have to be the end of the world. Time after time in the past I have experienced the same thing but the passion, excitement and intensity of the moment can be absolutely fantastic and to know that your lover/hubby etc got off on that is fab...admittedly I wouldn't want it to happen every single time but it should be seen as a way of keeping the spark alight. When it comes to him ignoring your advances you could always try some dominance role play and try and have fun with it without being too serious about it all. I hope you manage to sort things out though
New Rule:
Until he proves to you that he will follow through and take care of you if he cums first, he only gets to cum after you've cum at least once, whether that means oral or manual first, or stopping when he gets close.
(You can change it to his having to ask permission to cum, which is what I prefer, but that might be too D/s for you.)
I don't always cum and it takes a long time to get there, but once I get going, I'm very multiply orgasmic. Sometimes feeling my lover getting close is what finally gets me there, but then he's done too soon, so I have them focus on learning to edge - first while alone and then with me - as well as doing other things to pleasure me until he's ready to go again.
I also think guys don't understand that women need more time to get warmed up. Try requiring at least 30 minutes of kissing and touching before he's allowed inside you. ;-)
Not long after our son was born my husband and I went through a phase not dissimilar to this. We worked together and lived close to our work place so would often pop home for a quickie at lunch time. I knew I wasn't getting off becasue we only had 30 mins and it takes me 30 years to come, but that was fine by me becasue I knew I'd get mine later.
But then it started spilling over into at home sexy time. It became all about him. When I was horny - which was and still is very often - he would turn me down with an outright no. But when he was horny he'd pester the life out of me until I said yes. Then there would be a bit of that 'foreplay' SOME men think is adequate (left boob squeeze, right boob squeeze, a rub or two for the so not ready clit) and after a few uncomfortably dry thrusts he'd shoot his load, roll over and go to sleep.
After a few months I was tearing my hair out so I took things into my own hands. I did the whole thigh massage, kissing, bum rubbing thing and he said no, I can't be bothered. So I said f*** you, I'll do it myself and I grabbed the very first vibrator I'd ever bought and got down to business.
He sharp took an interest and I told him to piss off, having myself a lovely orgasm right there beside him. He wanted to play and I told him God didn't just give him a pair of hands so he could hold a knife and fork and I rolled over and went to sleep.
I know that might sound childish but after a week or two the 'watch but don't touch' approach sorted the problem and we went on to discover things we didn't think people did without the involvement of copious amounts of alcohol and the words 'I dare ya'.
Maybe next time you want some and he says no you could try this? If he wants to be in on the action and you're happy to let him great but while some people will say good going and some will think it horrible, I opted to teach my husband a lesson. I'm the submissive one in our relationship these days because I choose to be but there's no way would I accept the inequality and selfishness he showed me back then and I wouldn't accept it now.
I wish you luck in how ever you choose to handle your situation.x
OUCH, that's a great idea!
I've been there and done that when my lover said he was too tired. He perked up REALLY fast, and was soon begging to help.
Totally agree with the "do it yourself" idea. Give him a taste of his own medicine!