A topic inspired by @Natalie . Are you more likely to share intimate secrets online with strangers than your partner? Are you more willing to hash out a kink or interest online then bring it to your partner for discussion? I am of two minds on this. If I really want to try something… partner all in. If I just want to explore or discuss I am a willing to go solo
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@be3169 My hubby knows everything. We don’t keep secrets relating our sex wants, needs and kinks. I prefer open communication as it’s proven in our relationship to have made our sex life so much better than previous relationships. He knows all my kinks and to be honest so does most of my friends 
I’m a very opened book and love dabbling in any conversation 
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I think how the human mind works many would find it easier to say anything and be more honest on things to a virtual stranger than someone physically close as your less likely to worry about being judged or embarrassed if makes sense?!
Kinda goes with the thing when you sit on the bus and some random person starts talking and by the time it’s your stop you practically know everything about them and yet won’t ever see their face again once you exit the bus 
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Mine and OH’s whole relationship is built on trust and open communication, we were long distance before I moved in, and it wouldn’t have worked if we weren’t 100% open and honest about everything. And in D/S dynamics, especially one like ours which is round the clock, communication is crucial.
We made lists Yes/No/Maybe lists during the vetting process regarding our kinks, likes and dislikes, so that was all out in the open from the get go. As we come across new stuff, we’ll bring it up to the other, and sit down to discuss.
Considering I don’t have my Y/N/M list plastered on here, it’s pretty obvious that I speak more with my OH about it all and that’s how I wanna keep it.
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Our relationship is built on trust and communication. There’s nothing he doesn’t know about. If there’s anything that I want to try I’m completely open about it and the same with him too. I think it would hurt if he couldn’t be open with me.
Our sexlife is the best it’s ever been, and I think that’s down to us, for being open and talking about our kinks, and what we want to try.
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Always happy to spark ideas!
I don’t think it is one or the other necessarily. That would be too simplistic. People can generally be pretty good and open with communication in their relationships.
There will always ways that people look to learn and listen from others. Maybe over a coffee with a friend, or around the lunch room with colleagues, or even through forums online. These different spaces are important for people to understand each other and I’m sure different topics of conversation happen in each space. Could you imagine these LH threads being the norm at the workplace?
We don’t always bring our learnings and listenings back into relationships, but sometimes we do. We will all need different places where we feel safe to share and feel understood. 
Personally I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship where I could feel more comfortable sharing anonymously with strangers than Mr 0, and if it was the other way round I think that would bring A huge wall up for me and some trust issues to be honest. But then maybe that’s just come with time, experience and development of our relationship maybe 10/20 years ago it would have been different 
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I never shared my sexual kinks, desires, personal issues with any lady, the only friends I have are on here. I have always kept myself to myself. I was encouraged to seek counselling, I am with my 4th different counsellor, & I’m struggling to see any benefit after a year.
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I used to keep secrets, but no, now I’m not allowed to - hubby loves some of the ideas that my imagination comes up with! It’s how I cheated on my husband without actually cheating on my husband!
To clarify, I’ve never actually wanted to cheat on my husband. Basically, it came about in some sex that didn’t feel exactly tender and loving, and I admitted to him that it felt like I was “cheating on my husband, with my husband”. Well, needless to say, he needed no further encouragement! Now, I “cheat” on my husband quite often 
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We are another couple who are 100% open, and trust each other totally, but I find the subject much more interesting to talk about than my wife, so our conversations are one-sided, and all the ideas come from me. So this forum is great for alternative opinions and new ideas.
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I share all my sexual thoughts and ideas with you people , because you are as horny as I am . My wife is quite reserved most of the time . I approach new kinks carefully to test the waters . If i bring up a new kink to aggressively , she may reject it quickly . I have a hard time getting her to open up about fantasies , but have been making success there lately . When she calls me a pervert , i reply “ thank you for the compliment “ . If she calls me a dirty old man , I say “ thats sexy senior citizen “ . Imagine if we could get together and have a pint or some other spirits , the fun we could have .
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Probably share more on line
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Definitely sharing with my wife. If I don’t, how will it ever become a reality?
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Interesting. The majority of replies from kinksters quoted “open, honest , relationship” yet a minority quoted various other reasons for wanting to discuss online. I think part of that is the demographic this message board appeals to favoring committed couples… I will post based on a couple of responses and add in a few other possibilities after reading through the entire discussion a couple of times.
Single person wanting to explore. Yes, I know I specifically asked about couples but I can certainly see singles wanting to know more about kink issues they are interested in without a partner.
New relationship. So you just started dating and don’t have that open, honest relationship yet but you are interested in a kink you may not have explored. One may go looking online for more info before they broach the subject so to be educated about what they are talking about. Who has ever suggested watersports with the fear of their partner being grossed out?
Hard no. So you are either into something or at least curious about it. Online may be a place to either explore or understand. Example I can personally give is knife play. No way my wife would even entertain it but online I was able to discuss with someone that is. What is it like? How do you play? Why is it appealing? It helps me understand without a partner to participate knowing it will never happen but is no disrespect to my partner.
Fantasy. Online can be a place to explore fantasy or alter ego. Don’t be a troll, don’t be a fake, but nothing wrong with talking sex online.
None of the above has anything to do with real life hook ups. It’s all about discussion and knowledge.
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I share as much with my partner as I do online, but I still have a few little secrets thoughts I haven’t shared with either yet, but that’s a whole different discussion.
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That’s not a different discussion. That is exactly what this discussion is about.
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Lots of analysis there!
I am sure I missed a bunch of other possible reasons for posting online. I can think of a few others but didn’t include them as they could too easily become triggers or argument points and I am not interested in those types of discussions. Life is too short for being cross.
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Seems like you’ve thrashed the topic around quite well! Well done!
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Thank you @Natalie . A little bit of background… I used to own and operate message boards like this some two decades ago although a little more explicit which gives me a little insight as to what doesn’t go over well. It also taught me that some posts can be misinterpreted and I have had a couple of my own misread here on LH which I tried to correct as best I could. Many have referred to an open, honest, & committed relationship in this discussion which I also have but there are also topics I can’t discuss with my OH. It’s not that I can’t bring them up. It’s that she doesn’t know and/or not interested. A perfect example would be knife play. She is not into it and knows nothing about it but by participating here I was able to discuss with an individual the appeal and practice. I am unlikely ever to try it but did really want to understand it better. My participation here is also not hidden from my OH. She walks by and sees the LH forum on the screen and comments that I am writing to my kinky friends again. Nothing hidden. I just find people can discuss some things online better than in person. If you and a partner are interested in a certain kink but neither knows much about it… how do you learn more? I for one really appreciate the info many regulars share. I know a lot about sex and sexuality but I certainly don’t know everything. I truly appreciate those that share based on my questions and comments.
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