Two snowmen in a field. One sniffs and says to the other, ‘Can you smell carrots?’
Two snowmen in a field. One sniffs and says to the other, ‘I think that rabbit just farted.’
4 Likes
A polar bear walks into a bar and asks for a vodka and…
… dry ginger.
The barman says, ‘Sure. But why the big paws?’
5 Likes
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”
5 Likes
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
3 Likes
You know what they say about men with big feet? 
That’s right. Big shoes.
5 Likes
I just read a book about an immortal dog…it was impossible to put down!
7 Likes
Never judge a man till you walk a mile in there shoes at least then your a mile away from them and you got there shoes
4 Likes
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna One, Anna Two
8 Likes
What did the priest say to the bishop at the salad bar?
Lettuce Pray
6 Likes
Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
8 Likes
A jump lead walks into a bar. Bartender said I’ll serve you just don’t start anything…
5 Likes
What’s brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones
8 Likes
Mountains aren’t just funny…
They’re hill areas
10 Likes
I typed my name into a spreadsheet the other day. Sometimes I really excel myself.
8 Likes
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Choked
8 Likes
What’s pink, wet, and slippery?
A wet pink slipper.
9 Likes
Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.
6 Likes
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald, duck!”
6 Likes
This is my favourite joke;
Person A: Do you wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
Person B: Sure
Person A: That’s the spirit!
4 Likes
Just read they’re bringing out tampons with tinsel instead of string, but only for the Christmas period.
9 Likes