What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
5 Likes
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
6 Likes
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
7 Likes
If you have referees in football. What do you have in bowls?
Corn flakes. 
6 Likes
Did you hear about the bloke who had an accident and lost his eyelids? The doctors made new ones from his foreskin. He’s made a full recovery but has been left cock eyed.
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What do you call Postman Pat without a job?
Pat.
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Mr Patrick Clifton. 
3 Likes
There’s was a question in one of my lockdown zoom quizzes asking to name his son, which I never knew he had, but will never forget now! Julian Clifton!
3 Likes
I heard that question about Julian on Zoe Ball’s Radio 2 Breakfast Show quiz a few week’s ago - No one there knew the answer either
There is a whole lot more to Postman Pat than people know… his wife is called Sara 
2 Likes
And he’s got a cat.
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Knock knock
Who’s there?
The interrupting sheep 
The interrupting shee…
BAAAAA!
4 Likes
Since your such a wealth of knowledge about Patrick Clifton, I bet you don’t know what colour his cat is?!
2 Likes
What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this crap.
4 Likes
Cleopatra wanted to bathe in milk so her servants asked ‘would you like it pasteurised?’ To which she replied ‘up to my tits will be fine…’
10 Likes
Why do squirrels swim on there backs?
To keep there nuts dry.
4 Likes
This may only be funny if you’re a certain age! What has a hazelnut in every bite? Squirrel shit.
8 Likes
Why can’t frankinstien go to the toilet?
Because his nuts are in his neck.
3 Likes
The old topic advert @WillC, quality 
4 Likes
That’s the one! don’t get me started on a finger of Fudge!
4 Likes
What’s ET short for?
He’s got litte legs
7 Likes