TBH both me and my Mrs can be quite fllirtatious although my Mrs treats it as some sort of game and tends to go to far especially when she has had a few glasses of wine. . I personally think she is playing with fire and perhaps potentially stirring up emotions and feelings of another person .
She managed to attract over a single guy whilst in our usual pub restaraunt.He was originally in a party of 3 and his mates decided to move on . Anyway he must have spent most of the night chatting to my Mrs and I could see she was playing a game with him with her teasing and flirtatious ways. All the time I was sat at the side of her playing gooseberry.
In the end I had to apologise to the guy for my wife's behaviour and used the excuse that she had one or two drinks too many and quickly ushered him away before it went too far.
I told my Mrs I wasn't too happy about it. Giving admiring glances is one thing but inviting a total stranger over and "playing" with them is bang out of order. She has apologised to me since but I could see she acually enjoyed it , perhaps being a throwback to being single again.
I just don't think its right or am I just being a prude ?
I certainly don't think she would have liked it if I attacted over another woman and spent most of the evening chatting her up . No I would have been in the doghouse wouldn't I ?
I'm with you mysteron, I don't see any place for flirting when you're married or in a relationship even if it is 'just a bit of fun', it's disrespectful. I think other forum members would consider me a prude though, I didn't think I was that conservative before I came here :p
Bottom line is though, it doesn't matter what any of us think, if it made you feel uncomfortable then obviously she crossed a line in your relationship and you need to work it out somehow. Talk to her again and tell her how it made you feel, maybe see if you can come up with some kind of compromise. I don't know - this is not a problem I've encountered myself I'm afraid!
I would go absolutely mental! No it's absolutely not ok, as you said, on behalf of who she's flirting with they may be upset that she never had any intentions to take things further. But in front of you, I honestly think that's downright disrespectful! Has she always done this or is it something that's come about with ageing?
i ask because, although not an excuse for this behaviour, she could be feeling unattractive if she's "getting on a bit" and using this flirtatious behaviour to attract younger lads and give her a confidence boost.
Either way, you really need to discuss with her 1. Why she enjoys doing this and 2. Why she feels it's ok to do it without regarding your feelings and in front of you.
I personally think it depends on your relationship, although I think given that you were highly uncomfortable with what she did she did though she should never of done something like that, did you ask her what went through her mind at the time to consider that an ok thing to do?
For us it would be different, my husband would find it a turn on to watch but then again I would never do it in our local pub, and I'd see if he was comfortable before continuing with it with a little text or something.
I personally wouldn't tolerate even the flirty glances, but that's me; obviously it depends on the boundaries of your relationship. As you have already said that you're uncomfortable with her behaviour then you should sit down and discuss these boundaries before things get messy
I'm flirty by nature (you've probably noticed !) but I would NEVER do more than my oh was comfortable with. My oh is my world and I would not want him to be hurt in any way.
You obviously felt extremely uncomfortable with your wife's actions and I'm guessing it spoilt your evening.
I'm wondering a few things here. Did she do it to get you to give her more attention ? Did she do it hoping it would turn you on ? Did she do it to provoke a punishment - I know she enjoys this. Did she even realise how far she was going ? Perhaps she would like you to flirt more with other women as she would find it a turn on.
Whatever the reason you need to to talk and find out - if it made you uncomfortable it's not acceptable. X
I'm flirty by nature (you've probably noticed !) but I would NEVER do more than my oh was comfortable with. My oh is my world and I would not want him to be hurt in any way.
You obviously felt extremely uncomfortable with your wife's actions and I'm guessing it spoilt your evening.
I'm wondering a few things here. Did she do it to get you to give her more attention ? Did she do it hoping it would turn you on ? Did she do it to provoke a punishment - I know she enjoys this. Did she even realise how far she was going ? Perhaps she would like you to flirt more with other women as she would find it a turn on.
Whatever the reason you need to to talk and find out - if it made you uncomfortable it's not acceptable. X
I think if being honest it was a combination of things. But I have to say I always give my Mrs a lot of attention.
Some of the things that prompted her may be as a result of the following:
For quite a few years now my appearance has been hidden with a full bushy beard . At her instruction I shaved most of it off leaving a very tidy Paul Hollywood type beard . Since I have tidied myself up( around 6 months ago) I have been attacting glances from other women although I havn't been encouraging it .She has noticed this as well , so perhaps there could be a tinge of jealousy.
She recently had her hair done which makes her look smoking hot in my eyes and like me she is losing weight and slowly becoming more shapely. This I think is boosting her confidence.
On this night she had one or two glasses of wine too many. Becasue she is eating less I think her drinking limit has come down .
I think she wanted to find out whether she still "had it in her"
As you know we both like roleplaying and one we havn't done yet is meeting a stranger at a bar scenario. Perhaps she was treating it as a prelude to that.
She has apologised to me on numerous occasions so there really isn't a problem there so to speak but it did spoil the evening as all I wanted to do was have a relaxing night out and not fend off other guys .
To make up she is paying for a repeat of the meal this coming Saturday and promises to behave if I want her to! And a promise of a massage afterwards .
I'm with you mysteron, I don't see any place for flirting when you're married or in a relationship even if it is 'just a bit of fun', it's disrespectful. I think other forum members would consider me a prude though, I didn't think I was that conservative before I came here :p
Bottom line is though, it doesn't matter what any of us think, if it made you feel uncomfortable then obviously she crossed a line in your relationship and you need to work it out somehow.
I fully agree with Boogaloo, any kind of flirting is out of line in my eyes and not something I would tolerate. But even if you think a little is ok, there's a huge difference between a little flirty banter and full on coming onto someone and ignoring your partner for the whole night.
Make it very clear that you won't tolerate that kind of behaviour, she may be one of those 'given an inch taking a mile' types. I'm glad she's at leats attempting to make it up to you.
She does know that she overstepped the boundary as she was fearing retaliation by me doing the same. However I am not like that and accepted her apology with a fresh "dinner date" and afters .
TBH it quite shocked me, as If you knew my Mrs she is a very introvert, quiet and not very confident person .This is a trait in all the times we have been together (26 years) I havn't seen before. I havn't made a big issue of it with her because I would rather see her in this confident mode but without the horseplay. If she was in this mood in the bedroom I wouldn't have any complaints at all .
I am glad you spoke to her about it. It may have been the wine or she may have just been feeling really great from the makeover. Some people are more flirtatious than others and sometimes don't even realise they are doing. If she has apologised numerous times for that incident and has promised to make it up then the only thing you can do is wait and see if things do improve.
I can understand you being upset over this- I would be if it were me. It was probably something to do with her losing weight, and prehaps age too that she found it a self confidence boost to find that she could still attract other men and that topped witha few glasses of wine literally went to her head.
Shame it spolit your evening but I doubt she'll do it again since you've made it clear that it upset you and she's said sorry.
Hope you enjoy the coming Saturday ( and massage !) and both have a good time x
I would have raged hard. I adore my OH. More than is healthy probably. So watching her flirt with someone else would absolutely crush me. It sounds like you lasted longer than I would in that situation, so kudos for being patient and calm. But I agree with everyone and think Boogaloo summed it up perfectly. It made YOU uncomfortable, therefore your OH should have stopped long before it got to that point.
I'm glad you talked to her about it. That would have been my advice and from the sound of it, she really does feel bad about it. Hopefully she'll behave herself on Saturday. Hope you have a great time. :)
Yes I am OK about it now (I wasn't at the time) . She has been doing some grovelling since it happened. That is something we have always have in our relationship is good communication .Maybe its about time to I used that new riding crop :)