Hi everyone, so after a long term narcissistic relationship ending and a short term thing which didn’t work out I’ve been back on the dating scene.
Met and amazing man who ticks all the boxes and is just lovely but… I can’t get over why he likes me and finds me attractive. I am a size 22 and have zero confidence or belief in myself. Is there men out there that really do find bigger ladies attractive? because I just keep thinking that no way would someone like him he attracted to me.
He’s adventurous and wants us to try loads of new things which I’m definitely up for but I need to get past this barrier first. I suppose I’m afraid to let go in the bedroom in case he’s not actually into me. Any advice or just a chat be great thank you xx
Everyone has a type (or types) that they are attracted to. For me it is a woman with curves (I am red blooded male), and I married one 14 years ago and we have been together for 20odd years. I still find her attractive after all these this time, although like you she struggles to see why at times. I make sure I tell her I love her, that she is sexy, I cuddle her and you know…
If a person is in to you and they treat you well, then go for it.
Sounds like he likes you for who you are, no matter the body shape or size. It takes time for confidence to return after having it trashed.
Try and relax into fun play with your new man and before you know it it’ll be all about the pleasure you give each other and not what you think he thinks
First of all it’s good you found a man who wants to take you as you are and he can see the beauty in you but you have self confidence issues and it’s you who needs to change
Ok you are size 22 and no doubt you look at the negative points - but stop and now look at the positive aspects - you may have a beautiful face and probably great boobs as well as other aspects
If you want to improve yourself go for it - but in the meantime enjoy yourself and with sex just do it
Whilst we all have hang ups about ourselves, these are often only shared with ourselves and a loving partner will not see what you see.
It’s absolutely understandable that a man will fall for a curvy lady. It’s not unusual, it’s perfectly normal. The idea that to be attractive, a woman needs to be a certain size or shape is an unwelcome myth, pushed out by advertisers and fashion companies. It’s simply not reality and one of the joys of being human is that we are all different and like different things.
Please enjoy your relationship. Enjoy that you are attractive because you are you and enjoy the fact that someone shares that with you.
Hi @Laylapie I understand what you are saying completely. As a larger lady, I have the same thoughts “why does he want to sleep with me”. As others has said, trust your man. He obviously fancies you and wants you for you. I know this is easier said than done but trust him and believe in yourself. Find some sexy outfits that you think will give you body confidence (hide the bits you are not happy with). I find that if I feel sexy then I think sexy and stop worrying for a while. Maybe talk to him and he will call your thoughts. Good luck with your new relationship xx
Everyone - wording is important, saying ‘improve yourself’ implies that theres something wrong with you, there’s not. I hate the assumption that theres a problem just because you’re fat. Its like if you go for a walk or go to the gym, the assumption is that you’re doing it to lose weight Fatties can enjoy the outdoors too!
I’m fat, I’m a size 22, I’m curvy and my partner wears a size small in boxers. He loves my body, he loves me on top, he loves my softness.
Your partner wanting to try all these new things with you is great and you could be in for an epic adventure, if you can get out of your own way.
I know its not easy, but everything you think is wrong with your body, is because someone else made you believe it. Thats their issue, not yours. This time around believe that your body is fabulous
Hi, my lady is 20-22 and I love her to bits… Skinny minis were you can feel all the bones isn’t a good look… Presume I’ve been born in the wrong era, love the curves by far.
I guess it’s hard as my wife isnt a fan of her body, but a love her and all the curves, lumps and bumps.
If you can you need to be happy for yourself and enjoy every experience, he wants to be with you and you with him so just try and relax and enjoy yourselves
Just cause your a bigger size doesn’t mean your unattractive and clearly he thinks your beautiful so enjoy the adventure with him and let him show you just how amazing you really are
Honestly my wife is a 24 and i love her and her body. She has medical conditions that mean she will never get any skinner and that bring her down alot and fells usless, but i will continue to boost her up as she is beautiful to me. U should never feel bad for your size, love your body and curves
You ask "is there men out there that really do find bigger ladies attractive?’ YES!!! Yes we are attracted to certain images, but not everyone is attracted to the Hollywood definition of beauty. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I love all shapes and sizes of the female form. From small to large and all variations in between.
Trust that your boyfriend is telling you the truth, as I’m sure he is.
I myself just posted the other day in another post that one of my fantasies right now is to be with a women your size. It is an absolute dream of mine right now. So your boyfriend and myself are proof that you do not have to be a size 2 to be sexy. Right now I think your boyfriend is one lucky guy!
I’m a similar size and have struggled with the same thoughts, both when I started dating again after a long and painful relationship, and then when I met my partner. It took me a lot of bravery to let my partner see me naked the first time (and many more times afterwards). But he really does love and enjoy all of me, and over time my confidence in that has grown. There really is no part of me that’s he’s not more than happy to kiss and stroke, and there’s none of me that needs hiding away from him when we are together. It is an amazing feeling and we have so much more fun together as a result.
I hope you can begin to trust that you and your body are worth enjoying and appreciating, and that your relationship flourishes as a result.
I love putting my hand all over my OH belly,legs ass boobs all the squishy bits to begin with she was awkward with it but eventually she has come to endear it
I’ll be honest, 25 years ago would I have dated a size 22 girl? No, probably not but like most folk that age 25 years ago it’s safe to say I was a shallow idiot
Now, I’m wiser (hopefully) and whilst I’m happily married if I ever had to go back onto the dating scene, would size 22 bother me? Not in the slightest
Fatties can enjoy the outdoors too!
