Sounds like he might be struggling with some erection issues that could in turn be effecting his esteem to have sexual intercourse, hence why he’s started acting the way he is as some men feel like it lessens them if they can’t fully satisfy their wife…
Amazingly it’s common for men in their middle life to got through phases of erection troubles and for some it resolves itself. Many key factors to this is stress, diet, health, hormones…
I sense he’s very manly about his emotions so not sure how it would land if you was to open up and talk to him about it but it might make him clam up even more on the defensive so I think the best way to get a guy talking is through his best mates.
Hi all, I made a post last night that on reading it this morning is way more ranty than I intended. When I get a chance, I’ll reword it and repost, as I was trying to put another side to the debate, and rant wouldn’t be helpful. Sorry all xx
I just want to say thank you to all of you for your advice. I hesitated to post this on here, being new on here and not being one for sharing problems (even though i know how important it is to talk) i didn’t expect the response that i’ve had. I certainly didn’t expect to be talking about autism on here at any point.
The past 48 hours have been more successful with talking, connecting with him. I basically did the opposite of what i would normally do and asked myself what would he do. The answer to that was to be blunt and just say it aloud to the point there is no misunderstanding what i mean.
After much talking it would seem some of the issues fall on me too which i hadn’t realised how much he felt that and it would seem we both feel similar right now.
It would seem that when i have tried to explain how i feel to him that he has taken what i’ve said the wrong way and to him my words felt like i was telling him he wasn’t good enough and making a list of all the reasons that we shouldn’t be together.
This is where the idea of another man came in as he said he feels like i’m getting more pleasure from the toys than i do him so someone else might make me feel the way he doesn’t. This is also the reason he doesn’t want much sex as he feels that i don’t want him.
I’ve explained that is all incorrect and he has understood wrong and that i would get more pleasure from him if he put in a little more effort and i’ll do the same.
So we now have a plan, things to do to rebuild intimacy, a bucket list of things we haven’t yet tried, a toy wishlist, some couples apps, a new look at what has been happening, and a promise to instead of telling him what i’m not happy with instead to straighten up my domme hat and tell him exactly what i want him to do.
Let’s just say i didn’t expect the evening to end with me thrown over the sofa, no toys included.
Thanks @cfcmattyc having been together for 22 years we do get stuck in these kind of ruts every few years but usually we quickly overcome them. This one has dragged out way too long it would seem because of so much misunderstanding on both parts.
I think it’s so easy to paint a picture in your mind when you know someone so well!
It just goes to show how powerful talking actually is!!
Glad your both sorted!!
