Guilt after ejaculation... WTF?

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Right, Goodmorning Ladies and Gents.

I have searched this and haven't had much luck finding anything...

Anyway,

So in the very early hours I was masterbating,

J woke up and kind of got angry with me for it.

Anyway, I waited til she was asleep again and began once again,

The session was relaxed, Very wet ( Love durex Very Cherry lube!!! ) and I had a wonderful fantasy about me and two women, So nothing 'abnormal' or freaky.

I came quite heavily and right throughout it felt sublime,

Now comes the weird bit.

As soon as I was 'finished' I got overwhelmed by what I can only describe as a really heavy, Overbearing feeling of guilt. It was more of a natural/physical guilt though instead of 'thinking' guilty if you know what I mean? It was absolutely horrid and Apparently very random with no reason for it. It lasted for about an hour and a half and I had to go outside in the pooring rain at 4 in the morning for a smoke and a strong sweet coffee just to get rid of the horrible feelings.

I've never ever experienced this before during either masterbation or sex solo or with someone.

This morning I tried to remember if I've ever felt like this before in my life.

I can only vaguely remember feeling like it when my mum really layed into me as a child when I had done something really naughty. Still unsure of it being the same feeling though as that was a very long time ago.

So please, Have any of you got any ideas at all???

I was really freaked out by it and would be nice to know Im not on my own here!

P.s. I feel absolutely fine now aswell, All very strange!

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Never felt like that before although I have had random crying before post-orgasm - could just be a surge in hormones.

If you've never experienced it before it might have been due to the interruption part-way through.

Is J generally anti-masturbation or is there some other reason she was upset? Might be worth finding out why she was upset seeing what can be done to put her mind at ease (if its an insecurity at work) or to compromise (maybe she just doesn't like being woken up by it & she'd prefer you went to the bathroom to wank).

I hope it's a one-off & you can enjoy your next experience without the after-effects

CCW x

2 Likes
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Heres the thing!!! When hubby goes and uses his toys alone... i get quite mad, not for any other reason than because he never uses them with me!!... i always use mine with him not really ever on my own... maybe once in a blue moon lol.... he can do it whenever i dont mind but sometimes i could lend a hand... he doesnt need to hide!!....

Maybe when J woke and seemed angry your subconcious was guilty.... and you felt bad as you carried on when she fell back to sleep....

Hubby said hes never really felt bad after so im sorry im not much help!!! But maybe something deep within you felt bad for maybe getting 'caught' xxxx

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I feel embarrased sometimes after I cum but never guilty

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Thing is Ive been caught before and never felt like this.

J says she is not anti-masterbation, But then when it happens, She always tells me to do it in the bathroom or wait til shes asleep.

I never feel guilty for it because it's my body and it's my pleasure.

But this was just sooo overwhelming in a horrid way.

Also, I should have added we had made up and had a cuddle before she fell back to sleep so there were no

insecurities etc before I began again.

Very confused And I hope it doesn't happen again, We haven't made love for 7 months now and if I lose my ability to masterbate in a healthy and happy way, I'm really scared about what's in store for me or us.

1 Like
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I think you shouldn't be thinking it through so much, just put it at the back of your mind and write it off as a one off! otherwise you might worry yourself into it happening again!

just relax and then if it happens again then you have something to worry about, never worry if it only happens once (unless the something is life threatening =/)

VW x

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Thanks guys'n'gals for the kind words and advice.

I just told J and she said I was being silly ( but in a kind caring way! ) And she is definately not anti-masterbation, I just caught her on a rough night - sleeping pills weren't working for her!

Vampz, Thankyou, That makes a lot of sense.

I shall put this down to a weird one-off, And tonight I am going to treat myself to a really drawn out and sensual solo session. ( get right back on that bike before i lose my confidence! )

Paul xx

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Ahhh yes she probably was annoyed at the disturbance more than the method of disturbance - if people wake me up when it's taken me hours to get to sleep I give them daggers no matter how understandble the action is - or how carefully they've tried to not wake me! It's the burden of never sleeping more than a few hours!

Myself, I get that overwhelming sense of guilt any time I upset WandA with something that could be avoided...It's the feeling that used to lead me to harming and self hatred and though it doesn't happen often now, it's something I have to work really hard not to let myself spiral so I can sympathise and only hope that J has reassured you enough that you feel better :)

Adx

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I'm in the one off camp.

Perhaps you were just worried that you may have upset J more than you thought, I think at times everyone can pick up on one word/action/sentence and let it stew until it really bothers them, then looks back wondering what all that was about. I think you notice these 'emotional hangovers' most with fear, you might be terrified of something you know you shouldn't be but a little irrational voice is eating away at you.

I wouldn't worry!

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Thanks you two *HUgs*

J has reassured me and both she and I understand the 'harming' thing! Small world eh? So you know, If it's ever rearing its horrible head, You're not alone chick ( Well obviously you have Wanda there anyway sooo... )

The little irrational voice sounds like something that could actually be rational at the moment W So good job on pointing that out too!

It really had me freaked out this morning but now I feel better, Even more so now thanks to you lot!

Aww, I really do love you all very much xxx

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Only feel guilty if you accidentally shoot in her hair/eyes while she sleeps...

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That would NOT be a good thing to do W! Im laughing my head off now...

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Omg I thought I was the only one that felt like this. It’s so weird you describe exactly how I feel. I get the feeling of guilt, embarrassment, and the feeling of disgust with myself. It is so bad that I refuse to ejaculate if I can help it. Yes I will rub myself and have had partner do HJ but when I’m about to finish I stop cause I always feel dirty and shameful. On many occasions too m i also get the feeling that I did something wrong or I shouldn’t have done that. I’m anxious and just feel really shitty about myself. Idk why I just always felt that way to the point that maybe I feel like I don’t deserve the pleasure that others feel. That’s why at times I choose to not do anything to cause me pleasure because if I finish I’m going to feel exactly how you described “….a really heavy, Overbearing feeling of guilt.”

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If you have good communication with your partner and she understands your need for a solo release, then your guilt should subside.

I have always shared my desire you solo play with my husband right at the start of our relationship and he shared with me. Now if either of us feel the need for masturbation then we will tell the other what we are going to do. However occasionally I’ve also caught my husband seeing to his morning glory and neither of us feels guilty or embarrassed.

Talk about it and how you feel. Be honest and this will liberate you both.

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You’re not alone. I often feel the same. Not every time, but maybe about 50% of the time at the moment. I don’t know why I feel that way, it could be any number of reasons and I could probably speak to someone, talk about it and try to change it but I have so much other stuff going on in my head that this is at the bottom of the list of things to deal with! I’d recommend talking to your partner about it and see if they can help put your mind at rest. If that doesn’t help, I’d recommend finding yourself a good counsellor / sex therapist because there could be an underlying reason for you feeling like this and it could be that understanding it and learning to change your subconcious mindset might help you to overcome this. Get some support and advice from a proffessional, don’t think you have to put up with this, you deserve a good, happy sex life!

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@TehSpaceCowboy here is a really interesting thread that this topic reminded me of: “Postcoital Dysphoria” (PCD), or “post‐sex blues”