Halloween Forum Fun - Competition

Inside Lovehoney
1

Hello all,

Hope you are all having a fangtastic day so far...

We have a little forum fun for you all.

Firstly, what is up for grabs?

Well, we have an Alien Fleshlight and a we-vibe 4 (in black).

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20870

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37260

To win this casket of prizes, you need to treat us to a scary sing song... About Lovehoney!

Think Thriller but more Lovehoney thrills.

Have a boo-tiful Halloween night and good luck!

Terms and conditions:

Please post your entry below.

Competition closes 2nd November 9am, entries after this time will not be counted.

One entry per member.

2

Things go hump in the night!

3

I put a collar on you, And now you're mine. You can't stop the things I do to you Nor do you want to now you're mine You've cum 3 times already All in one day And this sex kitten is primed and I'm not going to sway I put cuffs on you And now you're mine.....

4

Let me hump you up and down, make you feel hot,

Let me lay with your body baby, till you say 'what?'

Let us do all the things we're wanting to do,

Cos' tonight baby, it's Lovehoney for two!!

('I wanna get freaky with you!')

5

God's sake I've edited it three times and it won't put it on different lines

6

Men and women over the legal age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see This, our town of lovehoney

This is lovehoney, this is lovehoney Vibrators whirr in the dead of night This is Lovehoney, everybody spend some money, grunting and moaning till the neighbors gonna die of fright

It's our sex toy shop, everybody scream, In this forum of lovehoney, dildos and vibes hiding under your bed, big suction bases and bulbous heads, Wands and fleshlights to everyones despair,Doubled enders like snakes and bodily Fluids in my hair!

This is lovehoney! this is lovehoney! lovehoney! lovehoney! lovehoney! lovehoney!

In this forum we call home, Everyone hail to the sexy song,

In this forum, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next tester suprise, 'browsing the site, man, spending all the cash we can Something's waiting to be ordered, and how you'll Scream!

This is Lovehoney! Dildos Red and black, and slimy green Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine, use it once, use it twice, Take a chance with couples dice, Ride your partner in the dead of night!

Everybody scream, everybody scream In our town of Lovehoney!

7

👻 Happy Halloween everyone. Here is my attempt at an entry. Hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for running the Halloween fun post leanne.👻

Lovehoney! If there's something strange in you basket, Who you gonna call? Lovehoney!

If there's something weird and it don't look good, Who you gonna call? Lovehoney

I ain't afraid of no masturbator. I ain't afraid of no masturbator.

If you're seeing things running through your discreet parcel, Who you gonna call? Lovehoney!

Thrust Georgia sleeping in your bed, Who you gonna call? Lovehoney!

I ain't afraid of no masturbator. I ain't afraid of no masturbator. Who you gonna call? Lovehoney! If you're all alone, pick up the phone and call

8

My baby's always fappin' And it wouldn't be a bad thing But I don't get no nappin' And that's no lie We spent the night in Avon Where we got our game on From that night I kissed our sleep goodbye

Don't blame it on the bondage Don't blame it on the fleshlight Don't blame it on condoms Blame it on Lovehoney

That nifty Bonnie bugs me But somehow she has drugged me Special offers bring me back to the screen I've changed my life completely I've seen the boredom leave me My baby just can't take her chains off me

Don't blame it on the squirrels Don't blame it on the panties Don't blame it on Leanne Blame it on Lovehoney

9
Edit... Sorry the spaces didn't work
10

My version of backstreets back 🙈😂 Everybody Rock your body Everybody Rock your body lovehoney Halloween is back Oh my God, its back again Lovers and luters everybody swing Gonna bring the flavor of a lovehoney lube, show you how to use it. Gotta question for you better answer now Am I original? Yeah lovehoneys lubes Am I the only one? Yeah no lots to choice Am I sexual? Yeah lovehoney showed me how. Am I everything you need? You bet your life we meet all your needs. Everybody Yeah Rock your body Yeah Everybody Rock your body right Lovehoneys halloween is back Alright Alright Now throw your hands up in the air Don't Wave them 'round like you just don't care cause I'll handcuff you over there. If you wanna play let me hear you yell 'Cause we got it going on in our lovehoney boxes So everybody everywhere Don't be afraid, they have sexy things for you to wear from a naughty kittys to a pumpkin cock ring and the world's best sex swings I'm gonna tell the world, make you understand As a lovehoney member your feet never hit the ground, we'll be comin' back again next year with more sexy treats

11

It's almost midnight & someone's lurking over by the door.

Under the lampshade, you see a sight that almost stops your heart.

You try to scream, but the vibrator makes a sound before you can make it.

You start to orgasm as master looks at you right between the eyes.

Your screwed!

.

Cause this is nookie

Nookie night

And no one’s gonna save you

From the penis about to strike

You know it’s spanking

Spanking time

You’re dripping for your life

Over a killer cock tonight

Ahahahahahahahaha

I'm gonna thrust ya tonight

.

Ahahahahahahahaha

You hear the magic wand

And realize there's nowhere left to run

You feel the cold hand

And wonder if he'll ever let you cum

You close your eyes

And hope that this is just imagination

Girl but all the while

You hear another master creeping up behind

You're out of time

Because it's anallll, anal time

& there ain't no second chance

Against two doms with all the toys girl..

.

Because this is Nookie, nookie night

Your tensing for your life around

Two killer cock tonight.

They loves the butt plugs,

And the chains,

You have no choice

But ...to take the pain.

12

To the tune of Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead:

Ding dong the doorbell rings! A brown package? A brown package!

Ding dong you’ve got a brown package!

Have sex, or give some head, rub one out, get into bed!

Better sex, unwrap that brown package!

Postman’s come with toys and treats, dildo, dildo, dildo, yo ho!

Let’s open it up and play and get the lingerie out.

Ding-dong, a screaming-o, tie my hands, go fast then slow.

Lovehoney improves your time in bed!

Ding dong the doorbell rings! A brown package? A brown package!

Ding dong you’ve got a brown package!

Have sex, or give some head, rub one out, get into bed!

Better sex, unwrap that brown package!

13

Need a place for all those toys, That excite you naughty girls and boys? Lingerie, restraints and wands delight For the best things that go bump in the night? Whips and chains to great vibrations, To seduce and entice all your sensations. Want great quality for not a lot of money? Then look no further than the delicious, Lovehoney

14

Zombie (Lovehoney)

Another bed waits lonely

A sale is nearly ending

No money caused such silence

I must be so depending

But you see it's not me

It's just my fantasy

In my head, in my head I want spanking

With their cocks and their thongs

And their flogs and their prongs

In my head, in my head I am desiring...

In my head, in my head Lovehoney, Lovehoney, Lovehoney-e-e-e

What's in my head?

In my head Lovehoney, Lovehoney, Lovehoney-e-e-e oh

Another lover's yearning heart is taking over

When sexy violence causes silence

I'm so overtaken

It's the same old scene, since I had a dream

In my head, in my head I need spanking

With their plugs, and their wands

And their mods and their cons

In my head, in my head I am desiring...

In my head in my head Lovehoney, Lovehoney, Lovehoney-e-e-e

What's in my head? In my head Lovehoney, Lovehoney, Lovhoney-e-e-e oh

My spooky 'Lovehoney' take on 'Zombie' by the Cranberries, hope you like it. x 🎃 🕸🕯

15

Sorry about the odd spelling mistake, editing has to be done so quick at times, lol!! 🙁

16

Lovehoney Mash

I was shopping online late one night When my eyes beheld a sexy sight For my curiosity to my mind began to rise And suddenly to my surprise

I did the mash I did the lovehoney mash The lovehoney mash It was a sexual happiness smash I did the mash It caught on in a flash I did the mash I did the lovehoney mash

From my laptop screen in the castle east To the master bedroom where the OH and I feast The toys all came from their humble abodes To get a jolt from my electrodes

We did the mash They did the Lovehoney mash The Lovehoney mash It was a sexual happiness smash We did the mash It caught on in a flash We did the mash We did the Lovehoney mash

The OH and I were having fun The party had just begun The guests included a suction cup dildo A sparkle butt plug and restraints

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds Igor on chains, backed by our baying hound calls The gag and flogger were about to arrive With their BDSM group, "The Sexual Happiness Vibe"

We played the mash We played the Lovehoney mash The Lovehoney mash It was a late night smash We played the mash It caught on in a flash We played the mash We played the Lovehoney mash

Out from his restrains, My OH's voice did ring Seems he was troubled by just one thing He opened his eyes and shook his fist And said, "Whatever happened to my blindfold you witch!"

It's now the mash It's now the Lovehoney mash The Lovehoney mash And it's a sexual happiness smash It's now the mash It's caught on in a flash It's now the mash It's now the Lovehoney mash

Now everything's cool, the OH a part of the my kinks And my Lovehoney mash is the hit of the house For you, the newbies, this mash was meant too When you get to lovehoney, tell them Secret Door sent you

Then you can mash Then you can Lovehoney mash The Lovehoney mash And do my sexual happiness smash Then you can mash You'll catch on in a flash Then you can mash Then you can Lovehoney mash

17

I can't get the spacing corrected in my entry, hopeflly the Caps make sense as song lyrics to the tune of "The Monster Mash"

18

I saw a werewolf with a lovehoney menu on his phone

Walking through the streets of Bath in the rain

He was looking for some sexy red crotchless knickers

Going to get a big dish of Lady chow mein

Werewolves of Avon

If you feel him prowling around your back door

Better let him lube up and slip right in

His old lady got multiple orgasms late last night

Werewolves of Avon again

Werewolves of Avon

He's the bodystockinged gent who ran amuck in Kent

His Lady has been overheard with a vibrating hare

Better get yourself ready for him

He'll rip your clothes off, eat your quim

Bet you'd like to meet his brother

Werewolves of Avon

Well, I saw Leanne at Lovehoney talking about a vibe

Doing the werewolves of Avon

Hope my own Lady will get it to ride

Doing the werewolves of Avon

I saw a werewolf using a paddle with some kinks

Her Howl was perfect

Werewolves of Avon again

Draw breath

(I figure you can all add in the chorus howls for 20% discounts)

19

t's astounding Lovehoney is greeting Scary toys for one and all But listen closely.. (Not for very much longer) I'm gonna lose control I remember doing the Vibe Dance During those moments when The orgasms would hit me And my lover would be calling Let's do the Vibe Dance again Let's do the Vibe dance again It's just a click of a mouse And then a parcel in the post With your hands on your toy You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane Let's do the Vibe Dance again Let's do the Vibe dance again It's so dreamy Oh, Lovehoney free me So you can't hear me No, not at all In another dimension With naughty intentions Well secluded, I hear all (With a bit of a mind flip) You're into the time slip (And nothing can ever be the same) You're spaced out on sensations (Like you're under sedation) Let's do the Vibe Dance again Let's do the Vibe dance again Well I was walking down the street Just a having a buzz When my lover gave me an evil wink He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise He had a remote vibe and the devil's eyes He started it up and I felt a change Time meant nothing, never would again Let's do the Vibe Dance again Let's do the Vibe dance again

20

''Lovehoney'' (Ray Parker Jr. - ''Ghostbusters'')

Love-honey!

If you want great toys for your (wo)manhood

Where you gonna go? (Lovehoney)

Need new lingerie, yours just don't look good

Where you gonna go? (Lovehoney)

For cool whips and canes to make your SO's butt red

Where you gonna go? (Lovehoney)

Looking for restraints for under your bed

Where you gonna go? (Lovehoney)

If you're all alone and need to rub your bone

You should get some lube (from Lovehoney)

Package delivered to your door

and you just ordered it the day before

This is what you get (with Lovehoney)

Where you gonna go? (LOVEHONEY!)

Happy Halloween, everyone! =)