Hey @Krystexxa 
@Senator has some great advise above! I think being very open with him about where you’re starting from (basically a sexless marriage) can help maybe manage his expectations a bit and might help him see that it might take some time for you to be comfortable in your new situation 
I was a virgin when I met the OH and after the first date I was very upfront with him that I’d never even kissed a guy before (which he could tell 
), but we’re coming up on a year together and now I’m the one who has fantasies running wild past what he could imagine 
I brought up dom/sub as I liked being dominated but as it turns out so does he! So we’ve been trying switching it up a bit and now I’m getting into it (I honestly annoy him as a sub because I know when things just aren’t working and I tend to run my mouth )! I tend to buy toys/gear and then it takes me MONTHS to introduce them Under-bed wrist restraints are excellent for dom play as your partner literally can’t move, and a blindfold works a treat as well (so you can surprise your sub and it’s also exciting as the sub as you don’t know what your dom will do 
) I got a collar and lead recently, and will be getting a dog bone gag soon, and I really hope my OH will be my lovely sub animal 
I know he’ll want to be degraded but I’m not there yet I think maybe have a peruse around the site and around the internet to see where your mind wants to wander (as I also have a hard time coming up with ideas, but as time goes I’m getting more into it and am developing my own fantasies)! If he truly cares about you he won’t be disappointed and will be willing to walk alongside you (or get ridden by you 
) in your journey to a more fulfilling and fantasy-filled sex life! And who knows, in time you might just surprise him 
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Hi, welcome to the forum
Dont worry if your struggling to come up with ideas, it can take a while to become creative in any area. Have a dig around the forums, theres a ton of idea and scenarios for most stuff on here so its a good place to get inspiration.
Theres a few idea here, but the male chastity thread @senator linked is brilliant and a cracking read.
There are also the journaling threads, like the when did you last have sex thread (alsothis one), which are a goldmine for ideas. There are also some very good pegging threads on here.
This is another fun one that might give you some fun ideas. And this
Like people suggested, having a chat is never a bad idea. Going from not being able to ask for anything to being able to ask for whatever you want is a massive shift. Its fine for it to take time to adjust to that.
Its ok to not know what you want. We all start off there. But its great that you’ve got an other half thats willing to explore with you.
I found making myself a list of things i wanted to try really helped me. Definitely found some things i didn’t expect to like.
For me, mixing some roleplay in can help if i get stuck. So for example on theme i would go “you have captured a pirate and have to extract information from him” (The hidden location of his buried treasure, etc.) Que blindfold, handcuffs and orgasm denial with a wand. (maybe throw a tie or silk scarf in the suitcase, they are very useful as blindfolds)
Giving yourself a bit of a character (no matter how vague) can really help you relax. (Also works well for Doming.) being a “brave member of her majesties navy” and “the dread pirate insert name here” can really get you out of your head if you tend to be an overthinker like me. (Doesn’t matter if it seems silly, at the end of the day its all good fun)
Hope you both have a wonderful holiday.
2 Likes
Hi @Krystexxa and welcome to the forum!
You will most certainly find alot of people with experience in many many different sexual aspects and wouldn’t have too much trouble getting advice.
I know how you feel having a sexless marriage as I did, im a guy that has a very high sexual appetite and high sex drive.
I’m very experienced in many ways and very happy to help and give advice anytime.
The main thing is not to make yourself do anything that you’re really uncomfortable with, the other partner can always tell if you’re not into it.
My wife has always been the more submissive one in our relationship and in the main I love it, but recently we have both enjoyed her taking the lead a bit more on occasion when the mood strikes her. We haven’t gone as far as male chastity yet (though she knows I am open to it if she wants to give it a try) but last week we had a weekend away and pushed a few boundaries. I spent the majority of the weekend either blindfolded or gagged (or both), I was made to lick and kiss and suck. I particularly enjoyed it when she left me blindfolded and gagged to stew for a while. She went out for a short while, then she’d come back and without saying anything would do what she wanted to me (or order me to do things to her).
It’s built up very slowly though, although she has long enjoyed being the sub it has taken some time for her to let herself enjoy switching roles. Now she admits it was partly nerves at being responsible for leading the play and making sure we both had a good time.
Take it slow, if a toy / game is a hit then put it in the bank, try combining it with something else next time. Talk honestly afterwards (or the next day) and a big one that worked for us was her watching a bit of femdom porn for ideas. We talked and watched a bit together to both get the level the other was at in terms of what we liked and any absolute no ways then she watched some alone and surprised me with a few ideas. 