How to feel sexy?!

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Okay, so I, like many women, have some self esteem issues.

I've always been a bit chubby but over the past 3 years the contaceptive injection has jumped my weight up by 2 and a half stone! I'm now on the IUD which is a natural contraceptive and so hopefully my weight will start declining just a little.

In the mean time though, I would love to hear some thoughts from others on how to feel more confident! In winter I could hide under baggy jumpers but Summer is well and truly on its way and I can't hide any longer!

I also want to feel more confident for my OH, he loves me and never fails to tell me my body is beautiful, but showing confidence is as sexy as anything and maybe it will make our sex life more fulfilled, like maybe I can finally enjoy the moment more you know?


I feel sexy in lingerie sometimes, but I bloat a lot and sometimes even the thought of looking like a pig in stockings makes me feel ashamed to even walk out in my pretty things!

2

Honestly I think a lot of it is in the mind . We always go out on a Saturday Night and see many curvier type ladies . The difference being is that these ladies have confidence which goes a long way of making them appeal to the other guys . They are drress very similar to their slimmer counterparts in many ways. A trick is to perhaps wear one of those longer cardigans that are in fashion. Another is to wear maxi dresses. I think any woman wearing one of these looks dead sexy to me and guys often wonder if undies are being worn underneath . My Mrs likes her maxi dresses .

You can also wear tunic type tops as well in conjunction with skinny or tighter straight type jeans.

As for the bedroom there a lots of babydolls and Bustier type lingerie to wear.

And if you have a good bust/cleavage then flaunt it don't hide it !

3

You clearly have a great oh who loves you for who you are.....not just what you look like (although from your avi you dont look like you have anything to worry about to me !)

Baby dolls are sexy, pretty and great at covering bits we'd rather not show off too much ! I also think that body stockings look great on any shape lady. A lot of larger ladies shy away from them but I'm certainly not small and I love mine....they're really practical and comfy too.

For every day clothes, how about my favourite go to...a shortish close fitting skirt and a floaty pretty summer top ? If you wear these with heels it makes the legs look really long (mine are short lol !)

I've actaually just orderd this.....if you like pvc this would work too I think xx

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34604

At the end of the day you are the only person who can change how you feel. Your oh tells you he thinks your body is beautiful....believe him. Focus on the parts of you that you do like...what ever they are for you. For some women its their hair, eyes, legs....it dosent matter what it is as long as it makes you feel good. Look in the mirror and say...Hey, that looks good on me ! Believe it does.....and it will *hugs* xx

4

I find empire line t-shirts and dresses help hide bloating and close fitting clothes actually make you look slimmer as long as they fit properly.

Like Terri JJ, I'm going to recommend baby dolls for confidence and hiding bloating.

5

I wear leggings with a short skirt or jeans longer t shirts. That way I can wear my colours and not feel trashy, I hide what I don't like and show off colours instead, neon nails are a craze at the moment.

6

I'm a bit of a curvy lady. I always dread the summer months as I'm a jeans and comedy tshirt girl but in the summer I end up with my legs chaffing and its awful.

I've found a lot of my feeling fat and frumpy is just in my head. So its kind of a case of fake it to make it. I have knee length leggings with lace trim I wear with a very short dress that fits snugly under my bust. That's one of my outfits that makes me feel my best but also you cant go wrong with a maxi dress. There are so many flattering styles now too! Another of my favourites is spaghetti strap vests with a high waisted full length skirt. Its nice and cool and super flattering.

8

RosyCheek wrote:

I'm a bit of a curvy lady. I always dread the summer months as I'm a jeans and comedy tshirt girl but in the summer I end up with my legs chaffing and its awful.

I've found a lot of my feeling fat and frumpy is just in my head. So its kind of a case of fake it to make it. I have knee length leggings with lace trim I wear with a very short dress that fits snugly under my bust. That's one of my outfits that makes me feel my best but also you cant go wrong with a maxi dress. There are so many flattering styles now too! Another of my favourites is spaghetti strap vests with a high waisted full length skirt. Its nice and cool and super flattering.

I totally agree. These curvier ladies that I mentioned are that forward and confident one pinched my bum as I was going to the bar. Its a bar that is notorious for singles and as I don't wear a wedding ring. I appear to be fair game !

Nothing short of confidence in these ladies !

9

^Confidence or just being obnoxious? Call me a prude (that would be a first!) but I think pinching someone's bottom uninvited is out of order. It may be a singles bar but being single doesn't mean you want anyone and everyone touching your butt!

10

Friday13 wrote:

^Confidence or just being obnoxious? Call me a prude (that would be a first!) but I think pinching someone's bottom uninvited is out of order. It may be a singles bar but being single doesn't mean you want anyone and everyone touching your butt!

TBH its not the first time this has happened. Sure I could have taken offence . If it was the other way around then I would dare say with being a guy I woold have been in serious trouble . I think it was just her way of being forward and in a way I accepted as a complement .No damage done so we just moved on ,especially as I pointed to the 2 glasses I had, which told her that I was taken .

11

mysteron wrote:

Honestly I think a lot of it is in the mind . We always go out on a Saturday Night and see many curvier type ladies . The difference being is that these ladies have confidence which goes a long way of making them appeal to the other guys . They are drress very similar to their slimmer counterparts in many ways. A trick is to perhaps wear one of those longer cardigans that are in fashion. Another is to wear maxi dresses. I think any woman wearing one of these looks dead sexy to me and guys often wonder if undies are being worn underneath . My Mrs likes her maxi dresses .

You can also wear tunic type tops as well in conjunction with skinny or tighter straight type jeans.

As for the bedroom there a lots of babydolls and Bustier type lingerie to wear.

And if you have a good bust/cleavage then flaunt it don't hide it !

I'm a shortie as well, so finding maxie dresses is a hard one as they tend to be too long! I wear long cardi's frequently, but have to be careful as they can often make me look shorter than I am! I've been looking for dresses that are attractive, but hit about the knee so I don't look so frumpy! Thanks!

12

RosyCheek wrote:

I'm a bit of a curvy lady. I always dread the summer months as I'm a jeans and comedy tshirt girl but in the summer I end up with my legs chaffing and its awful.

I've found a lot of my feeling fat and frumpy is just in my head. So its kind of a case of fake it to make it. I have knee length leggings with lace trim I wear with a very short dress that fits snugly under my bust. That's one of my outfits that makes me feel my best but also you cant go wrong with a maxi dress. There are so many flattering styles now too! Another of my favourites is spaghetti strap vests with a high waisted full length skirt. Its nice and cool and super flattering.

I have a really ugly scar on my shoulder from chicken pox that stops me from wearing anything too strappy :( But I have this lace cardi which is nice and breezey and shows some skin but makes me less self conscious about my flabby arms and scar! And chaffing is awful isn't it! I think I'm going to make a real effort this year to be seen in nie clothes, rather than hiding in things and over heating. I'm still yet to find a maxi dress that is the correct length as I am a shortie!

13

RosyCheek wrote:

I'm a bit of a curvy lady. I always dread the summer months as I'm a jeans and comedy tshirt girl but in the summer I end up with my legs chaffing and its awful.

I've found a lot of my feeling fat and frumpy is just in my head. So its kind of a case of fake it to make it. I have knee length leggings with lace trim I wear with a very short dress that fits snugly under my bust. That's one of my outfits that makes me feel my best but also you cant go wrong with a maxi dress. There are so many flattering styles now too! Another of my favourites is spaghetti strap vests with a high waisted full length skirt. Its nice and cool and super flattering.

I stopped going bare legs doe to chaffing years ago, it's agony, now I wear legging.

14

Twilightgirl123 wrote:

I'm quite curvy, especially on my bottom half. Whenever I gain weight it goes straight to my butt and thighs. More recently I have gained weight and a bit has gone to my stomach which has been a shock since that's never really happened before.

As far as everyday clothes go. I tend to stick to jeans and shirts but because the weather is getting hotter where I am (Scotland) I will usually wear three quarter length jeans or occasionally shorts or a loose fitting skirt. I also go for flowy tank tops in light colours because it gives me room to breathe, it isn't restricting and light colours are usually better for keeping cool if it's hot. If you want to wear a dress. A skater style is a great idea because it flows on the bottom half and I find that generally is very comfortable because I don't have to be constantly pulling the skirt down (as I would in a shorter style) and I keeps me cool.

For bedroom wear, I personally find babydolls very flattering because they tend to be quite flowy from the breasts down depending on the babydoll itself. I also find colour makes a difference. Black tends to make me look slimmer and is quite sleek and sexy looking. I love red as well though because I have pale skin, myself and my partner both agree that the contrast is very sexy.

Having issues with being confident is an issue that a lot of women face especially with their body. My advice, no matter what size or shape you are. Rock it. Your body is beautiful. It's sometimes very hard to see it that way but honestly try to think about everything positively. Try and see yourself the way your partner sees you, he clearly thinks you're stunning and you are.

I hope this helps :)

Thanks! I think I just need to accept my body for my own sake. I love that my partner isn't afraid so show affection for me and my body, but I can freeze up if I feel like it looks too frumpy! Jut yesterday we had a meal out, I had a salad for a change as I was very conscious of my appearace. I had been asking him all day if I looked pregnant and if my belly was too visible, but obviously he thinks these are ridiculous remarks!

15

kittencub wrote:

RosyCheek wrote:

I'm a bit of a curvy lady. I always dread the summer months as I'm a jeans and comedy tshirt girl but in the summer I end up with my legs chaffing and its awful.

I've found a lot of my feeling fat and frumpy is just in my head. So its kind of a case of fake it to make it. I have knee length leggings with lace trim I wear with a very short dress that fits snugly under my bust. That's one of my outfits that makes me feel my best but also you cant go wrong with a maxi dress. There are so many flattering styles now too! Another of my favourites is spaghetti strap vests with a high waisted full length skirt. Its nice and cool and super flattering.

I stopped going bare legs doe to chaffing years ago, it's agony, now I wear legging.

I like ladies wearing those tight jeddings/leggings but in white with a coloured tunic . I think its a nice summery combination and I think it would look OK on ladies that arn't tall as well.

16

I have a white pair of tight cropped leggings that I wear with patterned tops.....looks pretty and feels comfy x

17

immy wrote:

Okay, so I, like many women, have some self esteem issues.

I've always been a bit chubby but over the past 3 years the contaceptive injection has jumped my weight up by 2 and a half stone! I'm now on the IUD which is a natural contraceptive and so hopefully my weight will start declining just a little.

In the mean time though, I would love to hear some thoughts from others on how to feel more confident! In winter I could hide under baggy jumpers but Summer is well and truly on its way and I can't hide any longer!

I also want to feel more confident for my OH, he loves me and never fails to tell me my body is beautiful, but showing confidence is as sexy as anything and maybe it will make our sex life more fulfilled, like maybe I can finally enjoy the moment more you know?

I feel sexy in lingerie sometimes, but I bloat a lot and sometimes even the thought of looking like a pig in stockings makes me feel ashamed to even walk out in my pretty things!

Hello,

Sorry to hear that you're having some body image problems at the moment.

I can completely empathise with your contraceptive situation as the injection and implant made me put on several stone but I am now also on the IUD. :)

Out and about I tend to wear long floaty maxi dresses for comfort and cover up. H and M have some lovely ones in at the moment so it's worth a nose. To avoid the chub rub (pain and rash from thighs rubbing) I use a chaffing cream from boots or if in doubt some vaseline. Be liberal in the application.

My partner is a larger bloke and we're in a long term relationship so we haven't had much issue accepting each other and he's very supportive when I'm having those "i'm a beached whale" days. Yours sounds just as supportive which is brilliant! :) It's always good having a rock when you feel naff.

My sexy self esteem issue came at a local event. Me and the OH have both gotten very much into BDSM and goto local events. For one of these events submissives (including myself) were to go in underwear. I was phased by this and looking through the guestlist there were plenty of skinny pretty size 6 people going. But that was on Sunday just gone and let me tell you I have such a good time. Yes the skinny girls were there but some had quite saggy boobs or none at all, some people were young, some old, some much larger than me or smaller than me. There was such a diverse range of people and everyone was so positive. The only person being critical of me was me. I was looking in the floor length mirror in the bathroom wearing just my heels thinking "yeah I'm rocking this!". So here's my confidence advice based on this:

1/ Don't wait until you're at a certain weight to love yourself. There's no magic confidence weight, it's a mindset rather than a number.

2/ Wear something YOU feel sexy in! Big heels for me. The make my legs go on for miles but whatever makes you feel rocking is what suits you. People will recommend things to cover problem areas (babydolls for skirts, push up bras for flat chests) but you do you :)

3/ Be your best self. Now my event gave me little clothing options to feel confident in but I still felt like a heavier Dita von Teese. How? I had my hair all natural curls, on fleek eyes and red lipstick. I had shaved legs, under arms and bikini and buffed every inch of my body with homemade coconut oil sugar scrub. I had this body make up on too that makes your skin look flawless. Clothing/lingerie is only a small part of feeling sexy to me and whilst you don't have to follow my routine do what makes you feel sexy! Painted nails, nice jewelry, etc.

4/ Start believing the good stuff. At least one person (the person that matters too!) is telling you your sexy. From what I can see in your profile pic I think you look sexy. Get your glad rags on, put on a good tune (Filthy Gorgeous by Scissor Sisters is my personal recommendation) and rock it! I'm sure you'll slay! If you're not confident my general rule, from BDSM clubs to job interviews, is fake it till you make it. If you pretend you're feeling wonderful you'll probably end up feeling like that genuinely.

Good luck girl! xx

18

I'm a fan of leggings too , I wear them with tunic type tops or short dresses . I think my legs and boobs are my best features so I don't mind lowish cut tops either , emphasising the bits that I'm happy with draws the eye away from the other parts I'm not so happy with! And I'm a curvy woman too .
And for bedroom wear you can't go wrong with babydolls and basques .
Once you find something that makes you feel sexy and attractive then your confidence will increase x

19

Terri JJ wrote:

You clearly have a great oh who loves you for who you are.....not just what you look like (although from your avi you dont look like you have anything to worry about to me !)

Baby dolls are sexy, pretty and great at covering bits we'd rather not show off too much ! I also think that body stockings look great on any shape lady. A lot of larger ladies shy away from them but I'm certainly not small and I love mine....they're really practical and comfy too.

For every day clothes, how about my favourite go to...a shortish close fitting skirt and a floaty pretty summer top ? If you wear these with heels it makes the legs look really long (mine are short lol !)

I've actaually just orderd this.....if you like pvc this would work too I think xx

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34604

At the end of the day you are the only person who can change how you feel. Your oh tells you he thinks your body is beautiful....believe him. Focus on the parts of you that you do like...what ever they are for you. For some women its their hair, eyes, legs....it dosent matter what it is as long as it makes you feel good. Look in the mirror and say...Hey, that looks good on me ! Believe it does.....and it will *hugs* xx

That dress has been on my wishlist for a while and seeing this post has just made me impulse buy it :D

20

Immy, Kittencub and Rosycheek:

I'd thoroughly recommend this: http://www.boots.com/en/Lanacane-Anti-Chafing-Gel-28g_51067/

It's Lanacane Anti-Chafing Gel in case mods remove link. It kept me in shorts and dresses whilst abroad and really works!

A liberal Vaseline application can also work wonders too though :)

21

MondaySixteenth you are a beauty 😘 I shall be off down town to buy some tomorrow, unless of course my thighs set fire to my trousers first 😉