Ok, so over the last year I've put on quite a bit of weight for various reasons and I keep telling myself I need to lose it to feel better about myself. The thing is, I've been thinking recently, I've never been confident with the way I am. Even though I have an OH who thinks I'm sexy and beautiful just as I am...I always tell myself if only I lost a little weight...or wore more make up...grew my hair etc
Does anybody have any tips for loving yourself just as you are? I'd love to feel confident and happy with my body with the way it is. It's a tough one I think.
I always think about the unfortunate few who are born disfigured, missing limbs etc or people who are mamed in accidents or burned in fires and it makes me realise how lucky I am just to look the way I do and that always gives me confidence.
I used to feel the same as you. I used to be very skinny, and I've had children, and put on weight. I didn't feel happy with my body and it really got me down. I felt ugly, and disgusting. But then I spoke to my husband, he assured me that he finds me as attractive as ever, and I realised that I don't care what I look like. It's skinny models, with a ton of make up that are airbrushed to oblivion that make us feel like this. They aren't normal women, we're normal women and we need to love ourselves more. We're beautiful because we're ourselves, we give ourselves too much of a hard time about looking a certain way, when we're all beautiful in our own individual way. As long as my husband thinks I'm beautiful and sexy, I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks.
Realising all of this, has had amazing affects on me. I've started working out, which has made me feel full of energy and generally a lot better, I've started taking more care of myself. Whereas before, I would get stuck in a rut and feel so horrible I just wouldn't make an effort. Now I feel happy and I want to take care of myself, it's funny how things turn out.
But regardless of what you look like, what shape or size you are, your sexuality, your race, everyone is beautiful in their own right. I think it's time us women just stop caring about what others think and do things for ourselves.
But regardless of what you look like, what shape or size you are, your sexuality, your race, everyone is beautiful in their own right. I think it's time us women just stop caring about what others think and do things for ourselves.
Lovely words MrsMcX and I completely agree with most of them. I wish my OH could see herself with my eyes.
However, Michael Gove, Piers Morgan, the editor and journalists from the Daily Mail and many others? I can't see the beauty there and imagine their mothers must look on them with distaste. But if you mean the members of the LoveHoney forum, then yes, all beautiful. ;-)
Agree - beauty comes from being confident in our own skins. All of the airbrushing gives people unrealistic expectations of how normal women should look, be back in shape within 3 weeks of giving birth etc. it's all bull and unfortunately it is seriously impacting a generation of teenage girls - so many have image disorders and anorexia
also not giving a f@@k what other people think of you helps :-)
Thank you Stuey and MrsMcX those words mean a lot and I agree with them. The media does a lot to damage our thinking I think. It's hard to switch off those beliefs.
Well, I feel the same as you, MissTig. Since the first time I have given birth I have gained around 10 kilos in total and couldn't flatten my belly at all. And whatever I did, never helped. Now I am pregnant again (I have lost 3 kilos till now, well, actually 4, but I gained 1 back). And I wonder would it be worse after I give birth again?
But sometimes I just force myself to think of other things and sometimes it helps to make me a little bit more confident of my body.
I put on 4 stone when I had my first, only managed to lose half of it before I got pregnant again. I'm still carrying an extra stone and a half a year after having her. I have a mummy tummy that I can't shift and a horrible pouch of skin that hangs over the c section scar.
I have stretch marks every where and saggy boobs from feeding. But would I prefer to have a perfect body and not have my babies? Not a chance. It's taken 4 years and both of them for me to realise as long as my hubby still thinks I'm sexy then f##k every one else.
That's not saying I don't like to look good and make an effort when we go out but I dress up for him and for me. Not for any body else. Even if we are just having a nice dinner and a few drinks at home, I still put on a dress and stockings and do my hair and make up.
Real women have tummies and thighs, stretch marks and saggy boobs. We are not air brushed and we do not have a stylist on hand to advise on clothes and make up. The media have made up these perfect women, they don't exist. Take a look in the mirror. You are a real woman and I bet 90% of men would prefer you over them!
Well said crazy horse my wife is the same and it been 6 years since our little one was born she still has the mummy tummy and she has tried everything to shift it and now it has become an obsession but I find her very attractive and tell her everyday these celebs really don't realise the damage they do to ordinary peoples confidence when the flaunt themselves in magazines spouting on how they lost x amount of weight well good for you you obviously have got plenty if time on your hands give me a curvy woman any day.
I put on 4 stone when I had my first, only managed to lose half of it before I got pregnant again. I'm still carrying an extra stone and a half a year after having her. I have a mummy tummy that I can't shift and a horrible pouch of skin that hangs over the c section scar.
I have stretch marks every where and saggy boobs from feeding. But would I prefer to have a perfect body and not have my babies? Not a chance. It's taken 4 years and both of them for me to realise as long as my hubby still thinks I'm sexy then f##k every one else.
That's not saying I don't like to look good and make an effort when we go out but I dress up for him and for me. Not for any body else. Even if we are just having a nice dinner and a few drinks at home, I still put on a dress and stockings and do my hair and make up.
Real women have tummies and thighs, stretch marks and saggy boobs. We are not air brushed and we do not have a stylist on hand to advise on clothes and make up. The media have made up these perfect women, they don't exist. Take a look in the mirror. You are a real woman and I bet 90% of men would prefer you over them!
i wish i could be more body confident though in the last year ive been slightly less disgusted by my body . i will follow this thread with an eager eye for the magic solution ;)
I wouldn't say I'm very happy about how I look as I was bullied right through school about my appearence. If I make an effort with my makeup and hair and pick a nice outfit I feel a lot better about myself, my boyfriend always tells me how nice I look and I know it upsets him that I can't see what he does but when you're a girl there is a HUGE pressure to look a certain way and its ridiculous, even things like porn annoy me as they give boys the impression that girls should all be skinny with massive boobs and always have their makeup perfected when in reality that doesn't happen. I'm normally okay with how I look as my boyfriend really helps me to feel better about myself but I do have them days when everything I try on looks rubbish etc. Just remember you're a real woman! And a real woman is a lot more attractive, my boyfriend always comments on how he loves my hourglass figure and that even though I wish I was skinnier he wouldn't like it and prefers me how I am now.
pr4wnst4r, I have been bullied a lot, too. So I understand how you feel. I had practically zero confidence before. It took me a long time to overcome partially my past. And I still have a very long road ahead of me to become confident. Now, I am always looking for the approval of the others - everywhere, and I know this is wrong. When I hear someone laughing at the street, I am always feeling embarassed and wondering if they are laughing at me - and probably in most cases they haven't even noticed me.
But I guess we should start bit by bit liking ourselves.