You day there's 7 living there, are you classed as being over crowded? If so you are likely to get a council property rather quickly. Most rent will be covered as you will be classed as a couple with under 24 working hours a week. You will still have to pay some council tax but not a lot.
If it's not classed as over crowded you can say that it is not fit for purpose, your local council will have a look around and add points on again.
You can get help from the gp/therapist if the living situation is adding to his anxiety. He may also be entitled to a social worker.
There also may be a government scheme in your area, we have it here, where you may be entitled to a bond to cover private rent up to so much. It will cover the deposit, first months rent then housing benefit will kick in.
You can ask citizens advice to call you with an appointment over the phone. If that will prove difficult with anxiety he can use a local advocacy service. He will be appointed an advocate who can speak for him.
There are a lot of schemes, help, assistance, grants available for those in need. It's just a matter of getting to do it. Good luck.
Ahh thank you. Im not sure I would say crowded 7 people 2 dogs 4 cats 5 chickens 3 rabbits. We have 6 rooms but our room isnt big enough we are very crowded.
I will look into this all thank you
I can definitely hope for the privacy soon lol
It's no problem my love, I have been in a similar situation myself on more than one occassion in my years. Its really difficult but just remember it gets better.The only thing I will advise against is making yourself homeless. A lot of people do it thinking they will get placed somewhere quicker but it doesn't happen. They will see you have had somewhere but left voluntarily so will put you as a low priority. Plus homeless accommodation is ironically massive! Here it is a whopping £25 a day excluding utilities so if there are any days they decide you aren't "deserving" of their property they will bill you even years in the future.
RosyCheek
wrote:
It's no problem my love, I have been in a similar situation myself on more than one occassion in my years. Its really difficult but just remember it gets better.The only thing I will advise against is making yourself homeless. A lot of people do it thinking they will get placed somewhere quicker but it doesn't happen. They will see you have had somewhere but left voluntarily so will put you as a low priority. Plus homeless accommodation is ironically massive! Here it is a whopping £25 a day excluding utilities so if there are any days they decide you aren't "deserving" of their property they will bill you even years in the future.
Thats very true about leaving voluntarily. Will look to see what we can do
Kristy I dont have any specific advice as I dont live in the UK, but just wanted you to know I am sending some positive vibes your way and my thoughts -
1. Even if you parents are being passive aggressive about you moving out, I am not clear why they would want damange to thier own house.
2. Are your parents overwhealmed and depressed? I am not sure how to say this nicely but as a parent myself I would NEVER want my child living in a room with mold on the walls.... it made me angry to read this.
3. Your boyfriend needs to seek help and I hope he is getting it. I realize he suffers from depression and anxiety but theraphy should help him and in turn help you figure out positive next steps.
4. Are there any other part time jobs in your area to supplement your income / help you save money to get out?
Kirsty92 wrote:
Ahh thank you. Im not sure I would say crowded 7 people 2 dogs 4 cats 5 chickens 3 rabbits. We have 6 rooms but our room isnt big enough we are very crowded.
I will look into this all thank you
That sounds like a lot for one house :/ Maybe a day off work to go to CA would be worth it overall? You could get advice like the slinky and rosycheek have suggested (sounds really complicated to me), and maybe some idea on getting help for your OH too (although GP's probably the better place for that). Hoping here that you and your OH get the help you need and that your situation improves!
Yeah thats true and yeah they have depression but they dont really tell me much things had been better but im not sure sometimes i just feel like they dont want me there
Kirsty92 wrote:
Yeah thats true and yeah they have depression but they dont really tell me much things had been better but im not sure sometimes i just feel like they dont want me there
I'm gonna play parents advocate here, as much as I love my kids I don't want them back home with us, and it looks like I'm getting one of back tomorrow....
You've said she's got the biggest room, but won't swap, the damp won't persuade her to move from a dry room...
I'm sympathetic to your situation and it's difficult getting a lift up to home of your own, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and take a leap of faith, get a room in a dry house without the angst attached, its healthier alround.
Tiger Dick
wrote:
Kirsty92 wrote:
Yeah thats true and yeah they have depression but they dont really tell me much things had been better but im not sure sometimes i just feel like they dont want me there
I'm gonna play parents advocate here, as much as I love my kids I don't want them back home with us, and it looks like I'm getting one of back tomorrow....
You've said she's got the biggest room, but won't swap, the damp won't persuade her to move from a dry room...
I'm sympathetic to your situation and it's difficult getting a lift up to home of your own, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and take a leap of faith, get a room in a dry house without the angst attached, its healthier alround.
The damp wasnt there at first but it would be easier if they would help. My dad hasnt even asked the people to clear the gutter
I agree with that your parents sound overwhelmed- you say they don't talk to you about it, but I'm sure your partner talks to you about how this situation is making him overwhelmed. It's likely your parents aren't far off if they too suffer with mental health problems, since they invited him in and have said they don't want to kick you out it would be fairer to assume they aren't subtly trying to evict you but rather they are stuggling too. I know you're an empathetic person so you've probably already thought about it this way, but perhaps it could ease the stress for you and you partner to remember to think of it that way rather than that you aren't wanted?
With regards to the damp, could you afford a dehumidifier? The electric ones really can't be beaten, but even this type of one is super helpful when dealing with dampness in a room:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/UniBond-Aero-360-Moisture-Absorber-Device/dp/B00F1DNYPE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1483993938&sr=8-2&keywords=dehumidifier
As you sure the guttering is the source of the problem? Since you guys are crowded in your room, your boiler is down and it's very cold atm you have the perfect recipe for condensation mould. We had water running down the walls when there were too many of us in one room in our old place, just putting it out there since we thought it was structural but turns out it wasn't and the dehumidifer cleared it really well. Even if it is penetrating damp from the gutters the dehumidifier could help dry out the room, if you can't contact the person who clears your gutters yourself it could be something beneficial you could do while you wait for your parents to do it. Incidentally, have you tried white vinegar to clean the black stuff off? After trying all the mould sprays out there (and choking myself in the process-they're rank aren't they?) the white vinegar has been the only thing that's kept our current house mould free this entire winter (even with our currently blocked gutters lol), worth a shot if only for the sake of breathing in a less harsh cleaner. It's great at killing it rather than just cleaning it off, stops the vicious cleaning cycle. We mix it 50/50 with water, spray it on then wipe but I think you can use it neat too. You can find lots of information via google if you want to try it out, I'd certainly reccomend it :)
Since citazens advice isn't an option (although you could drop them an email perhaps?), you could pop along to your local Job Center...if they call them that where you live? Is it the Social Security Office? Er, the place you go to sign on if you are claiming JSA, or where you attend work focused interviews on ESA. When it comes to benefits they can give you the same advice CAB can, you'll need to claim everything as a couple but your earnings could well affect how much ESA you'd be entitled too so really it'd be best if you got them to work it out with you so you know exactly where you'd stand. Your partner should actually have a personal adviser if he is on ESA, does he have any contact details for them? You can go along to that meeting too and he can usually give you permission to speak on his behalf. My partner wasn't able to work 15 hours without it affecting my ESA and making us worse off financially, you'd need to speak to them to see if you personally would be financially better off working, not working or even if you could register as your partner's career. You should be able to just turn up and ask to speak to an adviser.
I know you're in a less than ideal situation at the minute and that this is easier said than done, but try to focus on little things you can fix and gather what information you can to prepare for the future rather than get bogged down in hopelessness or frustration. You have each other and while you're not in an ideal place yet, you're further forward than you were before your partner moved in. Little steps <3
We srent allowed to just go to the job centre without an appointment which you can only get by being on a benefit and they have to call you in.
The boiler has not long gone down and a dehumidifier wont make much difference. Its definitely the guttering as we have had this problem before.
Problem is their attitudes have changed towards me too. Half the time my parents will cook for everyone except us then whinge when I have to cook something after. Theres loads of stuff