lately ive been feeling as if i want to submit to somebody (not in the sexual way so much) as like all the time like a pet or something
i dunno its odd
Why do you think it is odd?
VW x
its a new thing also it is sexually as well but not so much the whole bdsm aspect of it i could have worded that better
im not sure why i feel its odd
Have you done any research into this type of lifestyle? I'm sure there must be interesting information out there that would give you a better insight x
There's a lot of debate over the non-sex submission thing: not everyone thinks that BDSM or a Dominant/submissive mindset stop at the bedroom door. Some like it purely as a sex thing, but for many it's a whole lifestyle, and much as having a slave chained naked to their Master's feet is fun, it's not soemthing you can take to Asda. You can do the 'mental' part where you focus on serving someone in an asexual way (even things like making sure you make them their favourite meals, or have their clothes pressed and folded how they like them, or wearing clothes you know they like you in, that kind of simple stuff), or where you ask their permission for everything (some even won't pee if they haven't been expressly told they can), or even any combination of parts that fit you.
But it's definitely not odd at all. I have the same mentality: bedroom activities aside, I love having someone to look after and please and have some control over what I do. It doesn't have to result in a 'displeased Dom' punishment if I fail, either, it's all in my own head, and the pride in seeing that my actions or words have pleased the other person, or shame if they haven't, is punishment and reward in itself.
Strangely, it is harder to explain to someone not 'there' than straight-out sexual submission, since for a woman to say that she almost wants to go back to the 50's style enslaved little wifey is very un-PC, and for a man it's even more embarassing. Everyone can understand a bit of spanking and bondage, that's almost standard practice nowadays. But somehow wanting to submit your will in a non-sexual way is incomprehensible to some.
When you say "like a pet", is it more the pet play aspect, or just in the sense of being owned? Both are perfectly normal (whatever that means!) and a lot more prevelant than you might think, even excluding the purely sexual aspect. Definitely look more into it, and see where it takes you, and don't for a second think you're "odd". Well, you might be, most of us are, but for that there's nothing freakish about wanting to feel cared for and safe while taking pride in providing pleasure for another person.
im not sure if i can spilt the owned-pet thing apart to me its sort of intertwined - its not so much having to serve somebody as just like being looked after and stuff so its more pet i guess but i dunno i knoe nothing about any of this doing reseach would be a good idea
thanks for all the advice i just need to find somebody willing to do it for me now
Research is a great idea -- that's how I learned what appealed to me, and how my partner learned a bit about domination when we got together. Read blogs! And if you want another perspective on it, I wrote a bit about my D/s relationship in another thread:
Don't be worried, it's loads more common than you think, and in reality it can be as extreme or tame as you want.
fair enough
None of us here are "odd".
We all have our unique fetishes and/or fantasies etc.
I myself am just finding a whole new side to me at the age of 33.
You want to submit to a partner in a 'Pet-ual' sense.
I want my OH to make love to me with a strap-on dildo and Im a straight male.
Someone else may want to wear women's clothing, And yet others may want
to try sex with the same sex or vice-versa.
Doe's that in any way make any of us odd?
Not in the least!
I think Im safe in saying after only a few weeks membership, I am now proud of myself for opening up and admitting to my sexual desires, I always felt this way, But I am now even stronger in my mindset that us here at the OA, And many others like ourselves, Are better, Stronger and more intelligent individuals for even coming on here and making a short intro thread. Even the genuinely interested lurkers!
Paul
ive found a kitten play forum - its pretty goodish so il try to find more about it on there