Lack of sex

My partner has gone off sex due to ill health. I am always horny and want sex all the time. I enjoy masturbating and do so most days always looking for new ideas to vary my stimulation

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Has your partner gone off having sex, or everything to do with it? If they just don’t want to actually have sex, you could ask them for a hand, or to participate in your fun?

Big sympathy, I was off sex for a year or so after my second child and despite reassurance that I still wanted and loved him it affected hubby, try not to take their low libido to heart!

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Occasionally I get a hand job but most of the time it’s solo play in private. I have various toys which help but not the same

I can’t offer much advice because I’m in a similar situation :confused::heart: But like @WelshDragonette said, don’t take it to heart! Because that’s what I did and it’s not very nice :heart: when it’s something medical the frustrating thing about it is that it’s not either of your fault :man_shrugging:

As I said I’m sorry I don’t have much advice but I find it’s nice to know other people are going through the same kinda things :heart:

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If you can get her involved to some level it is nice, sometimes I’ll just have my hand on the misses butt or look at her while sorting my self out.
If solo play is getting dull, mix it with a small butt plug, nipple clamps, try a vibrator for your penis or one of the strokers, fair few toys out there all depends on your thing.

I know when it’s time to do it with my husband when he makes comments like nuns do it more than us.

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Maybe give one of them silicone body shapes a go that you can suction cup on a table… not sure what their proper name is but it’s like a fleshlight but only more realistic.

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I’m sorry to hear about your partner’s I’ll health. Hope things gets better for you soon.

In the meantime, solo pleasure has never been so good. So many options!
One of my favourites is the Fleshlight with shower mount adaptor. A steamy shower session with this combo is a real luxury solo experience.
I love mine. Even thought the Fleshlight cleanup after is a bit of a bore.
Talking of which: isn’t it time Tenga did a shower mount for the Flip Hole?!

@Rockard I am sorry for your situation . I have been in the same boat for many years and at 63 I am not much hornier than when I was 21 . 98% of the time my wife does not even want to hear or know about my sexual activities . My creativity and imagination constantly give me new ways to satisfy my urges . My toy collection is not too modest and as I try different ones it is amazing how my experiences differ from many reviewers . My biggest thrill is taking photos and video of me using different toys . Also pictures to be shared on here . The outlook for the near future is not much better , but she has made mention of starting to participate this year . We all deal with this kind of problem differently , hang in there .

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I get both sad and annoyed when I hear that women consider their partner’s libido not their problem. When you enter a partnership sex is something that should be discussed at all stages in your life. If you really no longer have interest and know it’s never coming back you should leave or allow your partner to leave if that’s something you both want.

I’m disabled and suffer really badly with fatigue but wouldn’t dream of not giving my partner a helping hand (or mouth) if he asks or if I think he’s feeling horny. I’m also a bit of a rampant feminist who believes in equality and a woman’s choice. But when you’re in a partnership it isn’t just your choice.

I sometimes read the boards of a well-known mum’s site and the way men are treated there leaves me speechless. Men are apparently pigs and should be shown the door if they dare to ‘bother’ their wives for sex. Friends of mine have gone off sex for whatever reason (usually having children), divorced at great emotional cost to all involved but suddenly re-discovered their libido for a new bloke (yes, I know everyone’s at it like rabbits at love’s first bloom). Some even repeat this pattern. With good communication and a bit of effort from both parties, the flame may be re-kindled.

I’ve gone off sex and wanking at periods during my life due to depression/anti-depressants
or hormonal contraceptive use. There are work-arounds like changing the meds formulations (even a brand change can sometimes make a difference) or seeing a therapist. If you still love your partner it’s worth it.

In the case of my friends and reading online it seems it’s mostly the man in the relationship who wants to keep the flame alive. My ex was a serial cheater and needed no excuse to have a fling so seeing some of the messages here from men who don’t want to do this and want to continue their relationships breaks my heart and makes me want to shake their partners.

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I could add plenty to this discussion, but fully agree that a lack of sexual appetite or willingness to compromise is certainly viewed differently by men and women.

I think that many people would benefit from seeing the issue from the other partner’s perspective.

Culturally, a man not meeting a woman’s needs is treated very differently to a woman not meeting a man’s.

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@VR I read some of that website once, by mistake, never again :upside_down_face:

It is a very difficult situation when one person goes off sex in a relationship. There is some very good information from relate and very well mind websites.

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