Hi all, I’ve been MIA for quite a few months, just been super busy. I hope everyone is well and lockdown has given you plenty of playtime as well as kept you safe.
I’m looking for some advice, I’ve definitely appear to have lost my mojo when it comes to sexy times. I just appear to have no desire at all. We haven’t been intimate at all since February and it’s starting to worry me. I’ve been worried for a while and my H says he wants to but I seem to be off the idea - even though it was me that brought it up. My head seems to go a little like this... wake up ( usually middle of night) feel a bit horny but before I know I’ve talked my self out of anything? And I feel like I just can’t be bothered if that makes sense?
I did go through a phase a bit of me waking him up, in a pleasurable way and where as he is usually a considerate partner making sure I come multiple times. He was just going straight for it and coming before I’d even really warmed up. (Id normally of given oral or pleasured him a bit before hand ). Now I seem to be in this mindset and I can’t seem to get out of it. It’s leaving me frustrated in more ways that one. Thanks in advance for any suggestions you may have.
These are just things that have worked for me in the past, may or may not be helpful for you:
I find reading erotic stories helps get my brain in the right place and hold it there, a bit of research in advance for some you like so that when you start feeling a bit horny you have some stories you know you will like to reach for. I have found in the past that it helps my mind go from a little to a lot horny.
If I have gone off the boil I tend to find I'm not indulging in any solo time either, again a personal thing but the more orgasms I have, the more I want!
If I have stopped wanting sex I also find that I have without realising drawn away from physical intimacy in all areas, consider starting with a goal that a is just enjoying a cuddle, massage etc without thinking where is will lead, this works for me because once I start enjoying just the intimacy of touch my brain gets back on board.
I would have a chat with your OH about the morning and explain it would help you get back in the swing of things if he slowed up a little, if that's your golden opportunity to harness your horny feeling then I am sure he will be happy to help!
Hope you make some progress, be kind to yourself, life and hormones have a rotten way of derailing us sometimes!
Good advice from Mrs Smiff there. The last time I was like this, the first thing I had to do was to not try too hard, as my brain went no.
The sexy stories and blogs thing is a good idea. Gets the imagination working.
I also got my husband to touch me a bit round the house - a stroke of my ass as he walked past, an arm round me from behind and having a sneaky squeeze of my boobs. I think one of the reasons I'm so horny all the time is that he's never stopped doing that.
I started flashing at him, and when he had a sneaky look, I told him he could touch it (or indeed whatever I fancied).
Doing all this kind of stuff and what Mrs Smiff said got my brain into the right place, and got him back into it too. It didn't take all that long really either
The biggest point is don't stress yourself out about it, as for me, that is when my brain really says no. Go into the day understanding a touch or grope is just that, and won't lead to anything further on that day, and that takes the stress off. Then one day it will, and you'll be away. But don't force it, let it happen naturally.
From a male perspective i agree, read erotica ( some of the posts here are very erotic! ) look at porn, there's loads of free sites, compliment each other, as stated, a quick flash or grope that can lead nowhere or everywhere. Send saucy pics to each other letting them know whats on offer. I think the brain os very similar to the body in the use it or lose it sense. You don't have to think saucy thoughts constantly, but keeping a saucy outlook will help lift your mood too. Hope you get sorted! 🙂
Thank you all I’ve been working today so o my just got home. We just had a little cuddle on the couch while he rubbed my feet.
I’ve never watched Porn so not sure if that will work but yes I have read stories Ii. The past., so that’s a good reminder. Thank you for your replies xx