So one of my friends has admitted that her and her husband have lost there mojo. They are together ten years and had their first child 18 months ago. He found sex difficult when she was pregnant because it freaked him out if the baby moved and she then suffered postnatal depression afterwards. Between these things and just a busy schedule they have let there sexy life dwindle.
I've given her a few ideas to spice things up but I thought I would start a little thread and get all you horny devils to suggest some ideas for her.
So how would you surprise your oh when he comes home from a busy day at work?
Have you ever lost your mojo and what did you do to get it back?
How would you spice things up in general?
Lingerie definitely something that makes ME feel sexy and confident (rather than uncomfortable for him). Massage candles, blindfold - but keep it sensual.
My oh and I lost our collective mojo a little while ago actuall because we were trying to be too adventurous in sex and it was getting disastrous lol. So we stripped it back to the basics and had vanilla sex! And really romantic sex just enjoying the act of it. :)
I've been in this exact position.
With me, I felt awful about myself after having kids, and what really helped for me was talking to my husband. He reassured me that he still finds me very attractive, and it gave me the confidence I needed. We talked about getting items for me to dress up and some toys, and I ordered from LH. I got some items for me to wear, but I would have never have suprised him coming in from work when I felt my changed body wasn't up to standard. Now I'm more confident I would, but when you're getting back on the saddle you need to take things a step at a time really.
We started off by getting lingerie, and this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22875
The sexier life starter pack, it's slightly varied from when we bought it but its very similar and it's a great little starter with basically everything you need for getting back into things. It made us so much more confident with each other and then we got more and more toys and are building up a nice collection. It's definitely been a boost to our sex life.
PND is fucking evil :( I agree that feeling sexy is half the battle won. If she can get someone to look after baby one day and have a full on underwear shopping, lovely smellies bath, total defuzz i'm sure she'd be up for it. it's usually a case of getting over that hump of just not wanting it, i find the more i get the more i want!!
Thanks everyone for your comment. In sure she will appreciate it all. I just want her to see that it's not just her that has felt this way or gone through a "drought". Plus what may help turn me on may not work for her which is why I appreciate all your input. X x x
It was for very different reasons, but
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22834
and
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17913
rebuilt our sex life.
maybe you could go back to the place where you had your first encounter and re-live the experience, it may work. what have you got to lose?
We went through a patch like this. As excellent as ideas are they can fall flat on the face with one simple mistake: taking rejection personally.
We would both make an efforts individually, the other might be in a bad mood, stressed or tired, possibly even still suffering from the last rejection. So they reject the sexual advance and the person doing the advancing takes it personally and withdraws. This hurts both parties and makes the next attempt by either more likely to fail and hurt even more.
My advice is that both people need to talk about this away from a sexual situation without placing blame. Then when it occurs it is important for the rejected to remember the conversation and try again later. Don't do anything to big and dramatic/romantic because the hopes and plans pinned on it can also lead to rejection feelings.