Hi so I’ve recently got out of a relationship and have started to rekindle my friendship with the girlfriends I had before my ex.
We’ve been chatting and are willing to basically become friends with benefits. We both know we don’t want anything any more serious and are happy with this.
The only issue is she has another friends with benefits and it’s becoming a mental block. We’ve spoken about the sex they have in details and other than me he’s the only other guy to have made her orgasm.
I know it shouldn’t be any of my business but how do I get around knowing she’s doing the same stuff with someone else, especially someone who is clearly giving her great sex.
Surely, it’s as simple as don’t talk about the other people you’re both engaging with
You’re a tad green lovely lol have you realised you have real feelings for the lady? Or is it that you don’t want a relationship with her, but you don’t like that she’s not just engaging with you? Either way, its something for you to think about
If its just friends with benefits with her then you cant expect her to only have you exclusively since you arent mutually exclusive.
As for another guy giving her great sex, there are billions of people in the world, you wont be the only person who can make her orgasm or who she finds attractive etc.
Either accept that she is sleeping with other people or tell her you want something serious
I say this from the bottom of my heart: please, please don’t go back to your ex for a casual relationship. It’s clear that you want her back (eventually), but she doesn’t want you back, or at least not exclusively. If she did, she would be with you exclusively. Right now, you’re willing to accept second pickings (being the other FWB) instead of not seeing her at all. One person is feeling good here, and it’s not you, it’s her.
Can you not see that you deserve more than to be her ego boost?
There are many, many other girls out there, many amazing girls, who are willing to start casual and maybe find your happy ever after. Never go back, my friend, only go forward. Good luck
@Loving-Life unfortunately I can only say it because I had to move on from someone myself. Kind of shoe on the other foot here, I’m polyamorous and kept getting wooed back by my ex who wanted monogamy with me, but who would abuse me until I gave him monogamy, regardless of how much that was hurting me and my existing relationships. I eventually realised that the love I was giving to him, I should be giving to me. Not everyone deserves me, and not everyone is suited to non-monogamy
I always question how people are able to emotionally detach from sex in a FWB situation as our natural instinct is to bond and attach ourselves to people when sexually active with them as sex is an emotional thing.
Maybe you need to take a pause and think on what your inner self wants before you get in too deep with her.
We arent all wired the same, some people play around very easily.
I’ve never had sex with a woman i didnt connect with… we’re not all built to be players…
Finally… we have the first issue to debat @AJSTAR . I will start a new discussion so we don’t pull this one off topic but will cross link to each so we can all follow along.
It really does baffle me and wonder if it is possible to have sex without any connection of sorts?!
As maybe for people who can do this might not notice the lasting effect it has on them mentally if any maybe the more you do it the more numb you get to feeling anything… which then would that start playing effect on getting aroused cause surely if you don’t feel anything then your not gonna climax or stay hard and in turn will you then not get any satisfaction from sex?!
Yes some people can have sex without any connection.
It maybe is just a release…some see sex as a game that people play that makes them feel good…some like a different person so as not to get emotionally attached. Some can’t get attached for various reasons. They may be a carer…have families…work shifts…etc etc and just need that itch scratching.
For others it’s the thrill of having sex with someone new…others may want regular sex with someone but not a relationship…
Lots of reasons for only wanting a sexual relationship. As long as it is discussed upfront what both people involved are looking for and they have regular conversations ( if it is a regular FWB ) to check how it’s going then it can and does work. If one has more than one FWB it’s only fair to be honest about this from the start.
Everyone is different with their sexual preferences and as long as no one is getting hurt and it’s between consenting adults then…enjoy.
maybe the more you do it the more numb you get to feeling anything… which then would that start playing effect on getting aroused cause surely if you don’t feel anything then your not gonna climax or stay hard 
and in turn will you then not get any satisfaction from sex?!