My Reviews

by @Mint-Monster , 11/08/2022
Womanizer Marilyn Monroe™ Special Edition Clitoral Suction Stimulator

Loud and Proud

Many thanks to Lovehoney for letting me review this special addition to my toy box.

Admittedly, when I first heard about a Marilyn Monroe version of the Womanizer, I pictured something black and white with a bold red mouth piece - then I realised that would resemble Pingu too much and quickly erased the idea from my head. I would’ve never have guessed a soft mint colour which is still very nice and reminds me of those retro 1950s refrigerators. The overall feel and quality is gratifying in the hand as well as being lightweight.

The box it comes in is one of the best I’ve seen. A lovely photo of Norma Jean herself on the front is just the start. Definitely a keeper! It opens up with small compartments to fit each article neatly and comes with an eco-friendly baggy. If you want to keep both storage options, you can follow the creases on the bag to origami fold it back inside the slot. Instructions are clear with diagrams and I thought it was clever to add the hint of hitting the power button to lower the speed at climax to get a better ride-out or “afterglow” as it calls it. I recommend splitting the safety seals in half rather than peeling them off since mine left that sticky residue behind. Ick!

There’s 2 heads included that you can switch up with one being more shallow than the other. This shorter nozzle makes being on top of it more comfortable, otherwise I tend to use it laying on my back. I didn’t notice much difference with the heads other than that. They’re also interchangeable with my Womanizer Premium. The colour contrast looked pretty cool with a black nozzle against the light mint and vice versa. Its body is smaller and less bulky, but doesn’t feel as soft or sleek as the Premium version.

I love that it has an emergency exit feature. Having to press just a single button instead of the lower speed one several times is way more convenient. It may not have any other bells or whistles like patterns, but it doesn’t really need them for the job. There’s a great amount of detail on the power button and the way it lights up. The plus/minus buttons are different sizes to help tell them apart, too. The jumps between the levels are noticeable but not overly massive leaps. I found the controls straightforward to use overall.

Out of the all the clit suckers I own, this is by far the loudest from the get go as it doesn’t have very low settings to build up from like the others. Where I can identify the growing levels from a feather-light 1 up to a suck-me-dry 10, this seems to start from level 4-5? That means that the higher sound is also included straight away. This leads me to the frightful memory function. What’s so scary about it? Well, it will remember the last setting you used and go from that. Maybe no surprises if you hit the power button at the point of orgasm as intended, but what if you didn’t? Perhaps you increased it to a higher intensity before turning it off and went about your day. And then at the start of your next session, it opens a portal to the netherworld of demonic toads croaking violently at you for disturbing them. It triggered my fight or flight response for sure! I’m not sure why it even has this feature to begin with since suckers tend to require a build up, anyway? You’d need a clit of steel for such a strong start!

The lowest setting seems to have an inconsistent chug when it’s close your body? Almost like it’s choking? My other suckers tend to do the same thing, so I don’t think it’s broken or anything. This is one of the few instances when the noise is bearable from this toy, but if it doesn’t pulse at the right pace then there’s not much point to it so you may as well increase the tempo to feel right. Having it very lightly over your clit still allows that noise to come through making it a bit challenging to find the right balance of distraction, comfort and actual pleasure. Kinda like cracking a fleshy, pink safe. For 2 player sessions, it worked best with my partner in the doggy style position, otherwise it could get knocked off target. And of course any time the seal comes undone, it makes that unholy growling noise. It has quite a big “forehead” which made nudging it with wider based toys common. I had to angle it more to the side to avoid bumping.

The lack of lower intensities could prove overwhelming for some. While I usually increase my level to about 5-6 with the other suckers after warming up slowly, this one starts out where I’d finish if that makes sense? Sometimes I could get off quickly, sometimes it could take longer. Still achievable either way. However, the aftershocks I got were more sensitive like raw pulses rather than waves of blissful serenity. So from my side, the escape route isn’t low enough for a soft landing and more of a bumpy one with mild turbulence. Sometimes if I have ample steam left over, I’ll go for a round two with general toys. However, with the Classic 2 it felt like my clit had taken enough pummeling for one day. I also experience this with my fave wands. Not a huge complaint as I’m usually a one-and-done type of girl, anyway.

It’s pretty easy to clean, but you do need a brush to get in the crevices along the rim. It can get dirty quickly from bed lint which is more noticeable due to the light colour. It’s waterproof and will happily be in water. In fact, it loves water so much that it seems to store some for later. If I used it the day after washing, I could feel a little water still coming out from the inner head. Reminds me of when you get water in your ears. Separating the mouth and body helps when washing and air-drying. Don’t forget to give it a good shake out, too!

The battery life is good which is always helpful in such toys that could require training wheels before getting a decent ride. I know magnetic chargers get a bad rap, but this one snaps right into place and stays there when you lay it flat on its mouth side. The light flashes while getting powered up and holds solid when complete. Having the Womanizer logo on the end of the wire also helps to identify it if you have a jumble of them.

While it looks stunning and has excellent packaging, this Womanizer is no match for my Premium version which itself bows to my Satisfyer. Maybe I prefer round holes or something? Anyway, the main issue is the noise factor followed by a lack of lower build-up speeds. I love the idea of an escape button at climax instead of scrambling to get back to base. It’s just a shame that the soft orgasm cushion I expect is more like a firm yoga brick. For those with sensitive clits (and ears), it may not be for you.

Overall Rating: 3/5

Pros: Presentation. Lightweight. Multiple heads. Escape button. Battery life.

Cons: Lack of lower speeds to build up from. Loud. Dirt more noticeable. Holds water. Memory function.

Bottom Line: Not the best or most gentle of clit suckers, but can still do the job.

3 Likes

by @Mint-Monster , 21/07/2022
Lovehoney Sonic Bliss Rechargeable Sonic Clitoral Vibrator

Giraffe Bunny

Thank you for this new addition to test, Lovehoney.

And what a tiny addition it is! I thought my parcel was left empty by mistake until a slim mascara-sized box fell out. Definitely a candidate for journeys thanks to those dimensions and even comes ready with a travel lock. The design makes it looks slightly comical like a rabbit that’s been Stretch Armstronged. I’ve nicknamed mine “Giraffe Bunny”. With that poppin’ Barbie Girl pink and rosy gold body, it undeniably brightens up my darker collection. The English instructions are on the box with the other languages on a leaflet. Pretty easy and straightforward to use in general. I usually throw boxes away, but I’m happy to keep this one since it won’t take up much space.

Unfortunately, this hybrid can’t swim as it’s only splash-proof. Cleaning takes some extra care not to drown the poor thing, but is still hassle free for the most part. I just lather up some soap between my fingers and massage the toy - focusing on the head and neck since they’ve had the most bodily contact. Then a quick rinse under the tap to remove the suds and it’s done. It helps that the bunny head can be removed in this process, too. It’s best to pull it off by the “face” and not the ears like a magician since you can feel them stretch to a point where they could potentially rip off.

It’s super lightweight and holds like a curved toothbrush or marker pen in the hand. This along with the plastic neck makes it feel tacky. I avoided pressing it too hard against my body as I could picture it snapping in two. It may just be me comparing it to other toys, but the placement of the button threw me a fair few times. It tends to be on the inner side and not the outer which this one is, so I kept pressing the wrong half where the LH logo is. D’oh!

Another interesting design choice is having the charge port on the side edge of the toy rather than the front or back. At least it keeps things neat and it’s still visible enough to locate. Just remember to insert the prong fully otherwise it won’t work; it took a shunt the first time I did it. The battery life is generous considering some may need that extra time to get used to the stimulation style. Even after using it for around 7-8 sessions, it still wasn’t running out of juice and it only needed to charge for a short time before it was topped back up to full capacity.

The vibes have a buzzy tone to them, but due to the size of the thing, they aren’t as loud or distracting as other buzzers. Pretty quiet, actually. While there’s only two constant speeds, I didn’t feel it needed any extra oomph. The slowest was pleasantly bearable and the other had me clinging dearly to my limit. These vibes could be felt in the handle, too. However, once the other end was pressed on my body, it seemed to dull the buzz travelling towards my digits. I personally didn’t end up with numb fingers which might be due using it for shorter bursts of time. I guess being able to cum quickly with a long refractory period can have its perks after all?

The patterns don’t “wah-wah” and make more of a “doo-doo” sound as they buzz on and off. My favourite was the jittery one as it gave consistent mini breathers within the focused intensity. Others I couldn’t use either because the pauses were too long or they were those 2-in-1 styles. Some of them felt the same, too? One near the back felt like the first constant had cycled back around to the start again when it wasn’t? Unless it differed slightly and I couldn’t tell? The light also flashes to match the pulses of the pattern which can be distracting. I generally keep everything out of sight under the covers, anyway.

While they may look adorable, I found those bunny ears barely added anything during use. Maybe the slightest tickle? I’m still very thankful for the cushioned head as that hard, plastic tip is too harsh on my clit and it took way longer to manoeuvre into a comfortable position. They could have easily got away with just adding the squishy, round tip at the end so I suppose giving it some character did no harm. However, this then means that if the pea-sized head goes missing, I’m left with a rigid toy I’d never choose to play with. Just make sure that bunny doesn’t do a runner!

I’m used to broader headed vibes so this tiny one took some getting used to as it was easy to over stimulate my clit. It’s like rubbing a bean on a bean or touching fingertips together. I’m more trying to curve it around and tease my clit than touch tips with a prodding motion. The head doesn’t get in the way of anything so you don’t have to worry about clashes and can focus purely on cracking that safe of pleasure. I could manage to climax smoothly after about 3 rounds of fumbling. It was much easier the more aroused I was since I guess anything can knock me over the edge at that point. I still felt I had to assist it with a rub in a similar way I do with feebler vibes. Not that it’s weak - in fact, it can be quite intense. Maybe more to make up for the lack of surface area it’s covering? Which leads to the thing that let it down the most for me: my orgasms were pretty “meh”. Not hip-buckingly wild or even gasp worthy. Again, it could be that that I’m focusing too much on not getting over stimulated as I’m cumming or not enough nerves are being reached in general? So basically, it took more effort for a smaller payoff.

I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad toy and more that it’s not my kind of toy. I’ve been spoilt by wands, bullets and clit suckers over the years and this pin-pointer didn’t manage to climb above their ranks. While it’s certainly cute and travel worthy, I doubt I’ll be taking it many places. Sorry, my little Giraffe Bunny.

Overall Rating: 2/5

Pros: Cute and compact. Pretty quiet. Battery. Easy to charge. Soft head.

Cons: Only splash-proof. Feels a bit cheap and tacky. Finger climbing buzz. Tiny surface area.

Bottom Line: The pin-point stimulation style just isn’t my jam, so I’ll stick to my wands, bullets and suckers.

3 Likes