Many thanks to Lovehoney for letting me review this special addition to my toy box.
Admittedly, when I first heard about a Marilyn Monroe version of the Womanizer, I pictured something black and white with a bold red mouth piece - then I realised that would resemble Pingu too much and quickly erased the idea from my head. I would’ve never have guessed a soft mint colour which is still very nice and reminds me of those retro 1950s refrigerators. The overall feel and quality is gratifying in the hand as well as being lightweight.
The box it comes in is one of the best I’ve seen. A lovely photo of Norma Jean herself on the front is just the start. Definitely a keeper! It opens up with small compartments to fit each article neatly and comes with an eco-friendly baggy. If you want to keep both storage options, you can follow the creases on the bag to origami fold it back inside the slot. Instructions are clear with diagrams and I thought it was clever to add the hint of hitting the power button to lower the speed at climax to get a better ride-out or “afterglow” as it calls it. I recommend splitting the safety seals in half rather than peeling them off since mine left that sticky residue behind. Ick!
There’s 2 heads included that you can switch up with one being more shallow than the other. This shorter nozzle makes being on top of it more comfortable, otherwise I tend to use it laying on my back. I didn’t notice much difference with the heads other than that. They’re also interchangeable with my Womanizer Premium. The colour contrast looked pretty cool with a black nozzle against the light mint and vice versa. Its body is smaller and less bulky, but doesn’t feel as soft or sleek as the Premium version.
I love that it has an emergency exit feature. Having to press just a single button instead of the lower speed one several times is way more convenient. It may not have any other bells or whistles like patterns, but it doesn’t really need them for the job. There’s a great amount of detail on the power button and the way it lights up. The plus/minus buttons are different sizes to help tell them apart, too. The jumps between the levels are noticeable but not overly massive leaps. I found the controls straightforward to use overall.
Out of the all the clit suckers I own, this is by far the loudest from the get go as it doesn’t have very low settings to build up from like the others. Where I can identify the growing levels from a feather-light 1 up to a suck-me-dry 10, this seems to start from level 4-5? That means that the higher sound is also included straight away. This leads me to the frightful memory function. What’s so scary about it? Well, it will remember the last setting you used and go from that. Maybe no surprises if you hit the power button at the point of orgasm as intended, but what if you didn’t? Perhaps you increased it to a higher intensity before turning it off and went about your day. And then at the start of your next session, it opens a portal to the netherworld of demonic toads croaking violently at you for disturbing them. It triggered my fight or flight response for sure! I’m not sure why it even has this feature to begin with since suckers tend to require a build up, anyway? You’d need a clit of steel for such a strong start!
The lowest setting seems to have an inconsistent chug when it’s close your body? Almost like it’s choking? My other suckers tend to do the same thing, so I don’t think it’s broken or anything. This is one of the few instances when the noise is bearable from this toy, but if it doesn’t pulse at the right pace then there’s not much point to it so you may as well increase the tempo to feel right. Having it very lightly over your clit still allows that noise to come through making it a bit challenging to find the right balance of distraction, comfort and actual pleasure. Kinda like cracking a fleshy, pink safe. For 2 player sessions, it worked best with my partner in the doggy style position, otherwise it could get knocked off target. And of course any time the seal comes undone, it makes that unholy growling noise. It has quite a big “forehead” which made nudging it with wider based toys common. I had to angle it more to the side to avoid bumping.
The lack of lower intensities could prove overwhelming for some. While I usually increase my level to about 5-6 with the other suckers after warming up slowly, this one starts out where I’d finish if that makes sense? Sometimes I could get off quickly, sometimes it could take longer. Still achievable either way. However, the aftershocks I got were more sensitive like raw pulses rather than waves of blissful serenity. So from my side, the escape route isn’t low enough for a soft landing and more of a bumpy one with mild turbulence. Sometimes if I have ample steam left over, I’ll go for a round two with general toys. However, with the Classic 2 it felt like my clit had taken enough pummeling for one day. I also experience this with my fave wands. Not a huge complaint as I’m usually a one-and-done type of girl, anyway.
It’s pretty easy to clean, but you do need a brush to get in the crevices along the rim. It can get dirty quickly from bed lint which is more noticeable due to the light colour. It’s waterproof and will happily be in water. In fact, it loves water so much that it seems to store some for later. If I used it the day after washing, I could feel a little water still coming out from the inner head. Reminds me of when you get water in your ears. Separating the mouth and body helps when washing and air-drying. Don’t forget to give it a good shake out, too!
The battery life is good which is always helpful in such toys that could require training wheels before getting a decent ride. I know magnetic chargers get a bad rap, but this one snaps right into place and stays there when you lay it flat on its mouth side. The light flashes while getting powered up and holds solid when complete. Having the Womanizer logo on the end of the wire also helps to identify it if you have a jumble of them.
While it looks stunning and has excellent packaging, this Womanizer is no match for my Premium version which itself bows to my Satisfyer. Maybe I prefer round holes or something? Anyway, the main issue is the noise factor followed by a lack of lower build-up speeds. I love the idea of an escape button at climax instead of scrambling to get back to base. It’s just a shame that the soft orgasm cushion I expect is more like a firm yoga brick. For those with sensitive clits (and ears), it may not be for you.
Overall Rating: 3/5
Pros: Presentation. Lightweight. Multiple heads. Escape button. Battery life.
Cons: Lack of lower speeds to build up from. Loud. Dirt more noticeable. Holds water. Memory function.
Bottom Line: Not the best or most gentle of clit suckers, but can still do the job.