My Reviews

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 18/05/24
Milk Chocolate-Flavoured Body Pen 40g

Draw-ful.

Now I’m one for reading reviews prior to purchasing an item, and not one prepared me for quite what to expect.

The packaging is basic, informative, and alludes to a “Draw it on, lick it off” simplicity, so with much excitement we unpacked the pen, then the fun and games began.

We removed the cap (and our clothes) and attempted to start drawing, however to our dismay, nothing! With a lot of shaking, rolling, twisting, swearing, and more vigour than we’ve ever exerted into our sex life, still, nothing happened.

After some close inspection and a thorough investigation, we noticed there was a small blockage where the chocolate had solidified at the tip. Out came the manicure set to dislodge said solidified chocolate, then we settled back down to resume play (or now affectionately referred to as “the mission”).

With one firm, over-compensated squeeze, off popped the tip (with a rather satisfying pop), followed by a questionable looking expulsion of chocolate… straight down my thigh. After many laughs, and equally as many comparisons of what it looked like sat on my leg, we put the tip back on, and with a gentler squeeze resumed play (again). We were much more successful this time and had plenty of fun drawing on each others bodies.

The pen itself drew quite clearly and was easy to use with a gentle squeeze. The taste? It was ok, although it’s not something you’ll be consuming in large quantities. The consistency was relatively thick and required a good couple of licks to remove all from the skin. This kept us going back for more!

All in all, a very good laugh, although maybe not as sexual as we thought it would be.

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Pros: novelty, the laughs, the concept, taste was ok!

Cons: difficulty to use initially

Bottom Line: probably a one-time use item, however lots of fun despite the initial frustration.

[Bearjamin]

by @Bearjamin, 15/04/24
Fantasy Cyclone Silicone Alien Vagina Stroker

Nova!

Whats this? Finally a fantasy toy for penises?! Sign me up! With all those fleshy lights out there, if you’re going to give me a disembodied vajay, it my as well be the nethers of an alien hottie. The blue love tunnel makes me think of Liara of the Asari race from Mass Effect. Or should I say ‘Mass Erect’, amiright?!

When I first got the toy out the box, my first impression was, this stroker is chunky! It’s a great big honking slab of moulded silicone with with impressively thick walls. It gives the toy a nice weighty feel and is very satisfying to hold. The material is so thick and sturdy I have no fear of needing to be delicate with it. Despite this, the material is also very nice and squishy. It also almost has a sticky feel, but leaves no residue. I gave it a good slap and it jiggled back in a satisfying way.

Firstly I set out with an exploratory finger inside to map out all the internal textures. I immediately found a longer ridged bumpy section, some dots around the walls, a snaking tight narrowing and then opening up to a chamber at the end with lots of bumps and dots. It felt like an exciting design to be sure, but there was only one way to find out!

I set my phaser to ‘fun’ and and generously lubed up. I’m a big fan of cum lube, which I pumped inside the stroker and found it pretty hot seeing it drip and pool near the entrance like a cream pie. I pushed my spaceship inside and the stroker had a satisfying resistance and tightness. I found the textures near the entrance had a perfectly placed section to rub and tease my sensitive underside. I hovered here for a while, slowly stroking and enjoying the sensations.

Next, I ventured deeper and it felt a little tighter. I bottomed out at the end and could feel the final chamber and all its dots caressing the head of my lap rocket. The feeling of being fully engulfed by hot alien, dripping cum lube down my shaft was getting intense. I engaged thrusters and slammed my salami into warp drive, finally exploding past the event horizon, crossing that point of no return into a supernova of bliss.

This stroker is outside the norm and a really fun ride. If all alien puss is like this, then beam-me-up Scotty, because I don’t want to live on this planet anymore! I love the design, colour and internal textures. If you want an exciting close encounter of the ‘O’ kind I’d highly recommend it!

Overall Rating:

Pros: More than your run-of-the-mill masturbator.

Cons: N/A

Bottom Line: Sci-fi fun that’s actually great, and not a gimmick.

[Bearjamin]

by @Bearjamin, 10/05/24
Blowmotion Warming and Pulsing Male Masturbator

Good, but not the best.

I tried to like it, but it wasn’t quite as satisfying as hoped.

The design of the toy is very nice. It’s in keeping with the rest of the Blowmotion line of toys. Smooth black outer casing, convenient magnetic charging contacts, IPX4 splashproof for easy cleaning. It’s got a lid to close it up and a travel lock too to avoid accidental button presses.

My first impression on seeing the opening to the sleeve of the toy was that it seems a bit too wide open and inflexible. It’s not got the same soft feel of other masturbation sleeves, although it’s not claiming to be one so maybe it’s unfair to compare.

The toy’s warming function takes roughly 20 minutes to reach full temperature, so go make a cup of tea while you wait! The power button puts it in standby and also is used to cycle through vibration patterns. The other button activates the pulsing/tapping feature. Looking down the shaft you can see a circular area on the shaft wall. This is what delivers the tapping/pulsing. It’s like a plate that rapidly moves up and down. In fact this is exactly like my old Hot Octopus Pulse toy which broke, so nice to get that feature back.

The position of the pulse plate was at the perfect hight such that when fully inserted, it sits on the underside of the head. It’s a well targeted stimulus and I had fun cycling the patterns. The vibration mode is more of a whole shaft deal, rumbling your whole pole. The vibration is pretty strong and a nice deep rumble.

I was very surprised by the warming. I’ve had other toys with a warming feature before but they never really made much impact. I could hardly tell it was warm. This toy however gets very warm! The heat is very nice but it is only located around the very tip.

I had some fun with it but ultimately can’t say I’d recommend it. Personally, I think that the opening is too… open, if that makes sense. You don’t get the satisfying feel of pushing inside like a real hole, so to say. The vibrations are good but to get the full effect you have to just put your shaft in fully and just leave it there. It’s tapered inside, so it only fully contacts the shaft when fully inserted. I was getting the urge to use it like a stroker, but as soon as you move out of it by any amount, your suddenly not in contact with anything and not getting any stimulation. It’s a very inactive style toy. You just have to stick it on and lay still until it’s over. If it’s what you’re after, then I can say that the quality and design are nice, but for me I can’t see this toy getting much more use.

Overall Rating:

Pros: Good quality and design. Warming feature is really good.

Cons: Hard to reach inside to clean. Must be precisely placed to feel the vibrations.

Bottom Line: I have other toys I’d rather use.

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 21/05/24
Lovehoney Vintage Bliss Ivory Bra Set (3 Piece)

Bridgerton Babe

As an owner, reviewer and lover of the Vintage Bliss body, I was excited to try this bra set! I found the body didn’t fit as well I’d have liked (although this was 2 years ago!), so there was a bit of skeptisim around the bra set. I needn’t have worried though; I can’t fault the sizing, the comfort, the design… nothing! I received this in size Medium, with my general sizing being 10 tops, 12 bottoms, 36C, and being 5ft6 tall.

The Vintage Bliss collection oozes elegance and sophistication while also serving pure sex appeal and come-to-bed vibes. The pink and white go effortlessly together, with the lace trim, the pearlescent buttons and the frills all adding that extra little something to the overall look.

The materials throughout are comfortable. They’re soft, they’re all stretchy, and every aspect has intricate detailing you can’t help but admire. The lace appears delicate in parts however can withstand a good pull and stretches over my body with ease.

The cups add a rather delicious boost to my chest. They’re firm and provide a good shape, as well as an uplift, while the underwire sits in place securely.
There’s a good amount of adjustability throughout the set. The shoulder straps can be adjusted (and are also very comfortable being so thick!), and the band has a number of hook & eyes to choose from. The thong is also adjustable, and stretchy, and to be most comfortable, I have it at its loosest. It still sits very close to my body, it just doesn’t dig in.

The suspender belt is a piece you just step into, although the amount of stretch it holds allows this quite easily. Sometimes when I don’t want to wear stockings, I’ll give the belt a miss as the straps aren’t detachable, but the set still looks beautiful without the addition of the belt! Plus, the set only really suits white or a light nude stocking so I must stock up!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Colours, materials, adjustability, boost, versatility

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Beautiful!

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 11/06/24
Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look and Lace Zip-Up Bra

Fierce (but a little frustrating)

The Fierce range (tick), wet look, lace and mesh (tick), zips, straps and adjustable sliders (tick)… but it just doesn’t quite seem to work as well as it should for me personally.

The bra looks incredible. It has all the components I adore: the mix of materials, their placements, the halterneck straps, the fully functioning zip, and the overall adjustability. The entire piece provides great coverage while also allowing glimpses of skin through the mesh panels, and the back is almost open with just the thick adjustable straps. The silver details (zip, sliders and little links on the straps) add extra shine alongside the wet-look which already catches the eye with ease.

I received the bra in a size Medium as I have a 36C bust and usually fit into size 10/12 tops. The sizing is where I have my issue as the cups are a little too small and my boobs/chest/underarm area kind of podges out the side of them. It’s just too small on my body, as if my body is too wide. This in-turn makes it a little uncomfortable to wear. It still looks good from certain angles, but face (or boob)-on, not so much. On the upside, my boobs fill the cups out nicely and appear lifted despite there being no extra “push up” padding, so that’s a bonus, and the underwiring and boning support the piece well.

I paired the bra with the Fierce Wet Look and Lace Zip Up Skirt and the set certainly wows. A black pair of boots to match and you’re good to go!

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: materials, details, overall look, adjustability.

Cons: sizing!

Bottom Line: Mostly a hit but a little bit of a miss around sizing.

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 09/06/24
Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look and Lace Zip-Up Skirt

A Weakness for Wet-Look

The Fierce range has done it again; another smoking piece of lingerie that not only looks great but is comfortable, affordable, and can be dressed up/down and worn in or out.

I’m a size 12 bottoms, and I got this skirt in size Medium. No worries whatsoever around sizing as the entirety of the skirt is elasticated and would cater to a size up or down. The waistband also provides a good amount of stretch and is adjustable as well!

The combination of wet-look and mesh is the perfect match. It is sexy, a tease, and the cut of the mesh adds wonderful shaping to the hip area, let alone allowing eyes to wander. Wet-look bottoms are always a firm favourite; there’s just something about the way the light bounces off the curves. I also really like the small cut-out at the top of the skirt at the back; it’s a small detail but adds so much to the overall look of the piece.

The zip can be undone entirely which is not only very sexy while in the bedroom, but is also practical when dressing and undressing, and isn’t too fiddly either.

The skirt is short! I’m 5ft6 and it skims my bum if I wear it on my waist (which is most comfortable). Bending over is a risk if I don’t want anyone to see what’s underneath, and speaking of what’s underneath, I don’t choose to wear underwear with it due to the panels of mesh and the underwear being seen. A simple black thong or g-string may work but I personally choose to go without.

I paired the skirt with the matching bra from the Fierce range, along with a chunky black pair of heeled boots. Although I’m not quite brave enough, I feel it could be worn while out with a few extra layers.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: sizing, adjustability, colour, materials, the zip!

Cons: nothing!

Bottom Line: short, sexy and stylish!

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 11/06/24
Womanizer Blend Rechargeable G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator

For all the Blended Babes

Womanizer never fail to impress on every level, with fine details going into every aspect of their products, even the packaging! I received the Blend in ‘light pink,’ and the box, inserts and finer details are also pink! It’s quite a common colour in the world of sex toys, but this toy stands out regardless. I mean, just look at it! The box, as always, provides a great deal of information about the toy, and it also comes with a Quick Start Guide and Safety Information leaflet.

Also provided is the USB magnetic charging cable. I do find these can be a little temperamental if the toy isn’t laid in the correct position/it can be easily knocked, however most of the time they charge with no issue. The toy indicates charging by flashing a pulsing light just above the magnet, and requires a 90 minute charge for up to 90 minutes play time. Once fully charged, the light stays on, and when low, will flash again which is very handy to avoid any anti-climactic play.

The Blend is easy to navigate with only 3 buttons: “+” to turn the toy on and increase the intensity of the Pleasure Air (suction), “-“ to turn off or decrease, and one further button to activate and flick through the internal vibrations. I always enjoy a steady vibration however it’s always fun to experiment, and there’s something for every desire. There are 8 different levels of suction. Again, I settle comfortably somewhere in the middle as the higher levels of suction are too intense for me (and I LOVE clitoral suction). The buttons are very easy to navigate (even single-handedly) when the toy is in use too, and even if you do press the wrong button, it’s easy enough to flick back to where you were.

The Blend is a very comfortable size. It’s non-intimidating in girth, and not a lot of length is necessarily inserted as it sits comfortably against my g-spot. First time insertion was simple enough! I applied a little water-based lube, inserted the toy, and positioned the head against my clit. I then turned it on and had plenty of fun seeing what combinations of vibrations and suction levels I could try. There really is something for everyone, and what works for me might not work for the next person, but it sure is a great time getting there (and I get “there” pretty quickly using the Blend).

The toy can become quite noisy; the higher the intensity levels, the louder it gets. This isn’t abnormal and certainly doesn’t bother me, however I wouldn’t consider it to be the most subtle if that’s what you’re looking for.

Position-wise, I find most comfort in being on my back or on my side/front. I have attempted to kneel but the toy does slip out and doesn’t remain on my clit, frustratingly!

The Blend is quite flexible, and the silicone is smooth which makes for easy insertion, plus is easy to clean (there are even instructions on how to do this!). The toy is waterproof also and can be used in the bath/shower. I haven’t yet tried, but it’s an option!

Although the toy doesn’t come with a storage bag, the box is suitable to keep it in for now. It’s a little bulky, however is the next best thing!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: colour, design, variations in patterns/intensities, ease of use, attention to detail

Cons: bit noisy

Bottom Line: Fantastic for dual stimulation and blended orgasms!

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 26/05/24
Lovehoney Rechargeable Venus Glow Clitoral Suction Stimulator

Sex-sea.

This toy would not look out of place on your living room shelf, as bathroom décor, or amongst a bowl of shells and pretty stones. Its iridescent shine adds a touch of realism, and its rather compact size keeps it subtle and non-intimidating.

The toy arrives in a small box with all the information you could need, plus the magnetic charging cable and the toy within a hygiene bag (which I’m going to keep it in for ease!). I plugged the cable into a USB plug and gave it a full charge of around 50 minutes. The toy lit up to indicate charging which is very helpful, especially as magnetic cables can detach if knocked.

The toy is small enough to fit within the palm of your hand and can be held very comfortably when in use. Imagine how you hold a stone to skim it across water… that’s how I hold the toy against me and it works wonderfully! Being this small, I can imagine it would be very easy to travel with (and it has a travel lock!), and equally as easy to store.

With a press of the power button the toy is on, and further presses will allow you to navigate your way through the 7 increasing intensity levels. Level 1 is a gentle pulse that teases, while level 7 can only be tolerated for a matter of seconds before I have to pull it away from my body. I settle comfortably around level 4 if I want to orgasm, sometimes pushing it up to 5. I would like it to be a little easier to flick up and down between levels rather than having to go through all of them to get back to where I was if I fancied a little change, but it’s not too much of an issue. A longer press will then turn the toy off.

I would consider the toy to be a little noisy, with the noise levels increasing with each intensity level. As someone who is alone within the house most of the time, this isn’t an issue, however if I lived around other people, there may be some suspicions.

The toy is waterproof which also makes it easier to clean. With similar suction toys, I’m often used to removing the head and cleaning thoroughly however the head isn’t removable on this toy so I just make sure I submerse it and get a good clean done!

Overall, a fantastic little toy. It’s something different to look at, very pretty, but also certainly gets the job done. I love my suction toys, and although it’s not up-there with the high-end products, I still rate it highly for what it’s worth.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: design, variation in intensity levels, ease of use, size.

Cons: nothing I don’t like!

Bottom Line: The best little travel companion. Cute, different, gets the job done!

[RacyRosalee]

by @RacyRosalee, 24/07/24
Lovehoney Sensation Play Bondage Kit

Not quite the ‘next-step’

The packaging for this kit is super straightforward, but not really a gifting sort of box, if I were to present this to my OH, I’d most definitely repackage the whole kit so it felt a little more premium for the price. It’s quite a small box too, not at all what I expected, and everything’s fairly crammed in.

There’s English in the non-electric toy safety manual, but no English at all in the operating manual, which, considering it says ‘warning’ in other languages, is a little concerning that there’s no English for me. Seems like some important information to know in there.

I’m pretty disappointed in the candle, and how it was advertised. There’s no mention in the description or reviews on site, or on the box whether the candle is scented or not. Didn’t see anything until the candle packaging, and was extremely disappointed to see it contained patchouli oil. This is one of the few scents that triggers my migraines, so this candle will see no use and will need to be disposed of. The scent is extremely strong, so I’d be interested in knowing the fragrance percentage, as this effects not only the way the candle burns, but how harmful it is to breathe in the fumes, something you’ll be breathing in when using it for wax play. Some people can have allergic reactions and asthma attacks in response to these oils, so having an unscented candle would’ve been more safe for a larger audience. Or listing the candle as scented, as well as the scent, could’ve allowed for a more informed purchase.

There is also no temp listed, not onsite, on the box, or even in the safety manual (aside from a ‘keep below 45°c’ that is generic for the whole kit, not the candle specifically, if that is the burn temp for this candle, that is at the higher end of bondage candle burn temps, and for introduction to wax play, it should definitely be at a lower temp point). Bondage candles come in a range of temps, and people buy dependant on their preferences. Some people, like those with hypermobility, have very sensitive skin which can tear or scar very easily. I would’ve liked to have known what the temp was prior, or even at all, as I’m left without a definitive answer from the kit.

I wouldn’t call the restraints or blindfold a scarlet red, more of a candy red/pink. But the jewel on the plug is definitely more of a red, and I would’ve loved to see that red throughout this box. The gunmetal is also a very nice colour scheme, and I’d love to see more of that.

I don’t think we’ll be using the restraints, they just feel like they either won’t hold, or, knowing how silky this material can be, will self-tighten to the point of needing to be cut. I’m very surprised there aren’t bondage safety scissors in here, considering how these restraints can be, some of those delving further into bondage may not have any on hand, and will need to risk using regular scissors or blades, which is extremely unsafe.

Elastic on the eye mask didn’t need any stretch for my head, and is in fact too big for me, it’s also slightly rigid and uncomfortable to wear.

The pinwheel is probably my favourite part of this kit, it has some weight to the handle and actually feels premium. It’s fairly dull to me, there’s no sensation of pain or anything, even on my extremely sensitive skin, I can feel the individual needles when I add minimal pressure, but no pain. This will definitely be the item that gets the most use from this kit.

The flogger is also kind of decent, the threads are silicone, which I wasn’t expecting, but was pleasantly surprised by. There’s definitely the potential for a bit of sting with this one, if that’s what you desire. The pom pom tickler feels okay, but the initial smell is a bit off-putting.

The nipple suckers are fairly sturdy, and give a good amount of suction when applied. Although there’s very little resistance when pulling them, and they come right off. A good pair for introducing nipple play, but not great for a ‘next-step’ bondage kit. A set of the screw mechanism suckers or even clamps would have been more appropriate in a ‘next-step’ kit.

Overall, I’d say this kit is a mixture of a beginner to intermediate, more for dipping your toes into a higher sensation of pain and pleasure. I do wish that some of the pieces were a little more premium to reflect the price, or even if the packaging was a little nicer. Still a semi decent kit for couples wanting to explore.

Pros: How premium the pinwheel was

Cons: No mention of candle being scented or burn temp anywhere, other items a little cheap

Bottom Line: Mix of beginner and intermediate, little tame in my opinion and not quite worth the price

	(Out of 5)
Design
Ease of Use
Value
Quality
Pleasure
Overall Rating

[our-adventure-bed]

by @our-adventure-bed , 07/08/2024
Lovehoney Rose Glow 2-in-1 Clitoral Suction Stimulator with Egg Vibrator

Great - like 5 orgasm great!!! 5 star. New favourite toy!!!

I think this is our new favourite toy! We have a big selection already but we have fallen in love with this. It’s just SO MUCH fun!!! It turns us into our sexiest selves and we played with it in so many different ways.

We have had a Lovehoney Rose for a long time, and it’s been one of our favourites.

I honestly was not sure if this would be any improvement but have to say that it is excellent.

If you already have a Rose, you will know how good they are and the addition of the vibrating egg is just awesome.

First up, it’s a sweet little box - nothing too fancy - which I like (I don’t want loads of plastic - it’s in the bin straight away)

Very easy to open, charge and use. Simple leaflet - simple operation. Great little magnetic charger and pulsing light to let you know when ready.

A little bag to store the toy comes with it - always handy.

At first I was surprised by the size of the vibrating egg part - smaller than I expected (I guess I hadn’t studied the pics well enough) and I was not sure how my wife would feel about it. Would it be big enough to work?

Controls are simple and easy to access. Both are on the rose part and 1 x button for each bit; top button controls the rose, bottom button for the egg.

The Rose is a powerful clit sucker - I think even more powerful than our first Rose (maybe the battery has had a beating after so much use)

The Egg is pretty powerful - and felt pretty buzzy (rather than rumbly).

I half expected my wife to not like it.

HOWEVER … she was instantly pretty intrigued and we planned a Saturday testing session. Bath, candles, scented massage oil … yum.

Here’s the thing - it’s a very versatile toy, and really well designed.

The Egg is designed to be inserted as a G Spot toy. My wife does not come from G Spot toys per se, BUT … they really warm her up, and she tends to have better sex and more orgasms when we use them.

You can be very creative with this toy.

First up, she inserted the egg and gave me some oral pampering for a while - very sexy and nice.

Eventually we got into our favourite position and we decided to try the egg inside my wife, with me in there at the same time for sex. Yummy.

She started using the Rose on herself (sexy show) and quickly hit her first orgasm. Then quickly hit her second orgasm!

Shortly after that she said, “I think I’ll go for a treble” with a big smile on her face. Third thundering orgasm shortly after.

Big smiles - we are having a great time. “Maybe there’s a #4 in there?” she said and then we had a very sexy time followed by a massive, leg shaking orgasm.

I LOVE this toy!!! All the time we are able to have both the egg and my penis inside my wife.

She lay back and I wondered out loud if she could use the vibrating egg to make herself come.

Challenge accepted. I can’t go into too much detail but this was probably the sexiest orgasm
from my POV - as she used the egg on her pussy and had an ENORMOUS orgasm!

To finish up, she decided to use the egg on me, alongside a delicious BJ.

I eventually came with her using it on me at the same time as sucking me - an amazing feeling (and as big as her five orgasms combined!)

Yes - this toy is very versatile and we used it inside, outside, on my cock, on her nipples.

It just seemed to produce the sexiest version of ourselves, and for that reason, I would thoroughly recommend this toy.

It is so much fun and so damn sexy!!!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: So versatile. Damn sexy! An orgasm machine gun!
Brilliant price. Great for partner play and solo

Cons: Nada

Bottom Line: Amazing - sexy - fantastic. Made us sexier!
100% recommendation

[Tom-A]

by @Tom-A , 21/07/24
Lovehoney Male Pleasure Kit (4 Piece) | Lovehoney UK

The male pleasure kit

So the loveyhoney male pleasure kit.

I’d purchased this male kit for myself as a little treat and to have some fun with/without my girlfriend.

The toy kit arrived super fast and without hassle as always with lovehoney but that goes without saying. All parts of the kit came individually packaged in its own all plastic bag then sRead more about review stating The male pleasure kittored in the printed cardboard box ensuring they are all clean and safe. The box itself had had been well thought out with pictures across the front and a few descriptions on other box faces but not to many thrills. I’ll explain the toys themselves individually and explain my pros and cons of each.

Bullet vibrator
Starting with the Remote controlled bullet vibrator. I would say this is probably the best bullet vibrator I own at the moment and that good because I seem to have about 10 nowadays this bullet is pretty small compared to other and also doesn’t have any soft luxurious texture but it’s got loads of really good vibration setting that are all super strong, the remote works flawlessly without hesitation from a good distance this is something I’ve found to be a little temperamental this other bullets. The remote uses AAA batteries which is a big thumbs up from me because that amount of time I’ve spent scrambling around for one of the penny type batteries and finally it’s a hard plastic toy so it’s really easy to keep clean with just some warm soapy water.

Cock ring
This cock ring is a double ring so one for the whole package ball and penis and the other ring for just the penis with the little pocket on the top for the bullet vibrator to slot in. This ring is made of a soft rubber material so it’s reasonably stretchy but still very strong to ensure a stung grip with the added bead shapes on the smallest ring for enhanced pressure and sensation. I actually really enjoy this ring and it’s one of my favourites, the due rings you a really secure fit so once it’s on and in place you have 100% confidence it won’t slip around or move. This ring has probably given me one of the hardest erections ever and made me last a considerable amount longer but the small loop is super tight to the point wear it’s borderline to much so that’s something to be aware of. My nominal width isn’t anything to set a record at around 52mm ish so if you are packing a tree trunk you’ll struggle, the other issue I’ve found with it is while using the ring and vibrator during sex with my partner it’s a great feeling for you and definitely had my girlfriend curling her toes but if start really thrusting hard and deep the little moulded spikes tend to stab your partners clit not enough for it to be painful but enough that’s it uncomfortable.

Stroker.
The texture stroker is roughly 100mm in length and 60mm wide with quite a small opening at any roughly 25mm but the stroker is made of a super stretchy silicone material so I can’t see size being at issue with anyone. The stroker is also filled with ridge and valleys all the way through and a snug pocket on top for the bullet to slip in. This is all great but it really it comes down to … playtime, with a generous splay of lube I took the plunge and selected one of the many vibration options. Starting slow and getting a good feel for the toy I started stroking up and down the entire shaft. The feeling was toe curling I kept my eyes closed the feeling was just like a hot sloppy blowjob so I started twisting and thrusting and let me mind go wild but I couldn’t help myself and explode all up my chest just myself melt into the mattress in a orgasmic bliss.

The stroker feels amazing with lots of lube with the added bonus of being open ended so you can really get the feeling down your entire shaft, personally I have found that where the opening is quite small it can be to tight on the head of my penis and cause the sensation to be overwhelming if you are just wanting a relaxing wank but I would let that put my off the product feels great, is of good quality and really easy to clean.

Prostate stimulator

Finally the prostate toy, I’ll start by saying I’m a big fan of prostate toys I’ve got a few different types bigger, smaller, cheaper, more expensive ones ect ect. Id also say that if you’ve never took the dive into prostate play then this is a good little starter toy due to the fact it’s pretty small so shouldn’t be intimidating and the different size beads means you can take your time and slowly ease it in and get comfortable. This stimulator is made of a reasonably firm but soft feeling rubber with a pocket on the bottom for the bullet it slip in and of course a T bar to prevent the stimulator going any further.

An evening when I was feeling all worked up and decided to give this little guy a good test so I did my usual thing had a shave, hot shower and chilled out in bed before lubing up and slowly popping the stimulator in and getting comfortable. Instantly I could tell that the toy of hitting the spot perfectly so I found my preferred vibration setting and closed my eyes, and wow the vibration was incredible!! I had waves of blissful vibration flow throughout my body and I couldn’t stay still i was tensing up and gripping the bed moaning I knew I wouldn’t last long. My girlfriend wasn’t involving but got worked up just watching so she undressed, sat over my thighs and with both hands started stroking my c**k until I explosively came all over her and kept cuming every time the stimulator pulsed. But I couldn’t leave her is flustered so I cleaned my cum off her, bent her over and rubbed her G spot and rimmed her until she came as well.

Now Getting back to review. This is an amazing little toy I’d recommend to anyone who’s interested but only complaint is that when you start the vibrator it always seems to come out and it’s really annoying having to hold it in place but nevertheless it feels amazing!!!

This is a great little entry point into make sex toys with so good quality toys to get you started alone your journey if you have a large collection of sex toys already id say this isn’t so much for you but who has to many anyway.

Overall Rating: ***

Pros: Great inexpensive kit to try a range of toys

Cons: Cock ring is great but quite tight, the prostate toy feels amazing but needs to be held in place.

Bottom Line: I would recommend the set for anyone wanting to try a rage of toys before spending lots of money.

[Tom-A]

by @Tom-A ,26/01/24
We-Vibe X Arcwave Voy and Sync 2 Couple’s Kit | Lovehoney UK

Oh …okay

I was recently gifted this couples kit and in perfect time for our anniversary holiday, and I what better place to test this out than in Amsterdam! Luckily no security checked our hand luggage!

When the toys arrived I was very impressed at now well it’s packaged, coming in a very high quality sturdy box which the lid just slides straight up off the top to present two beautiful toy located in the rightful slots. I really feel it has a sense of a high end product. It looks amazing and feels even more amazing without even playing with them but we’ll get that that. Inside It has everything you need to get you started including a magnet charging cable and even a little Bottle of lube that you’ll get a couple uses out of, I thought was a really nice little extra.

The sync 2 is my second we vide couples vibrator so I’ve got a little experience with them, the sync 2 is slightly different to my other (sync go) because it’s slightly bigger and most notably a more prominent point on the inside vibrator but still nothing intimating for someone new to them. The texture is amazingly soft and silky smooth as with all we vibe products honestly you can’t beat them for that. Putting in the sync 2 is really easy you just need a little help from some good quality lube and it should slip right in, now the couples toy can feel slightly different due to the way it sits but once you get started I’m sure there’s no complaints. When my girlfriend and I are playing with this toy she likes to lay on her back and have me slowly insert it, then once in she loves to play with the Bluetooth app and find exactly what she wants. It doesn’t take long and she’ll be squirming, grabbing the bedsheets and begging me to come f**k her. Which obviously I do as she says!! I was also shocked at how powerful this toy felt once I’d fully inserted. The vibration just takes over your full body and most the time we just stay still together and enjoy the moment moaning at each other until we both want to release and orgasm then just sink into the bed enjoying the intense pleasure and sense of connection.

After somewhat a lot of testing between the two sync toys I’d have to say the sync 2 has to be the more powerful and intense, probably due to the pointed shape on the insertable part really hitting the G spot exactly where it needs, slightly bigger size giving a fuller feeling and a tighter feeling from a penis point of view which is Normally a win. The app is alway great fun weather it’s in the same room or on the opposite end of the country it’s honestly a great way to play and tease each other, it also allows you to have loads of different vibrations setting standard or completely custom to you.

Now the Voy stroker, this has to be one of the most discreet stokers going Which is great because we all forget to put them away from time to time but also a stunning looking stroker once the caps are removed to reveal the goodness inside. the sleek black outer shell envelopes a enticing silky silicon sleeve with all sorts of ridges inside ready to deliver powerful urges and orgasms. now I have to confess I wrongly assumed the stroker had some vibrating magic tricks before it arrived just based on the looks of the toy and when it arrived I and I realised it hadn’t is was a little disappointed. It’s got a clever manual tightening mechanism that increases the intensity the tighter you go. Now I said I was disappointed…that was right up until the first time I took myself to the bedroom, stripped off naked with only the voy and a fairly large bottle of lube in my hands. On the largest setting I squeezed a generous amount of lube inside the toy and started slowly going to town. With my eyes closed my head just fell backward, I couldn’t believe this was a stroker the feeling was so intense and realistic. As with every stroke intensity grew but I wanted more and increased the intensity with the tightness until it was like the cum was being pulled out of me. But this isn’t just a solo toy pair that with having your partner licking and sucking the end of you penis like it’s a lolly pop on a hot day while you stoke, yeah it’s quite the mess quite quickly.

Getting away from all the juicy stuff, yeah I think my review is pretty clear. If your looking at my this set don’t hesitate just buy it and thank me later. Myself and partner were blown away by the quality and pleasure this set brought to us and we are still exploring. The only really negative we have is the lube, we really didn’t think that much of it. Fairly thin and drys quickly but I wouldn’t let that stop you buying it!!! It’ll be gone very fast .

Overall Rating: ? *****

[Tom-A]

by @Tom-A , 07/12/23
We-Vibe Sync Go App Controlled Rechargeable Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator | Lovehoney

The toy bringing couples closer !!!

This new addition to my collection came very quickly and discreetly as always with lovehoneys service but that goes without saying now really. After carefully opening up the package I was very impressed at how well the toy is packaged and presented, coming in a quality smooth cardboard we vibe box with a magnetic folding lid so if you are thinking of gifting this toy it’s definitely got the quality feel.

Being that this is the travel version of the couple toy it also comes with its own tight fitting plastic protective carry box with clip on lid just big enough to fit the toy and its magnetic charging cable. Again the quality of this is excellent and you really get the feel that this product has had a lot of thought gone into it. Skipping past the packaging THE TOY!! It’s roughly the size of my palm and the insertable end about the size as a thumb so nothing intimidating, the texture is amazing. It’s incredibly soft and smooth with ridges where the toy is in contact. The toy is really really easy to use and connect via Bluetooth with just one simple little button on the top and that allows you to flick through all various vibration modes with ease to really find what’s best for you.

My partner and I were actually travelling up to the hometown of Lovehoney for a weekend trip so we thought this was a great opportunity to try this on the go and It didn’t disappoint. After a long day in the city we needed sometime to relax and one this lend to another. With a little help from some lube the toy slid in really easily without issue and fitted really well. As we hadn’t used this yet my partner wanted to play with the various functions on the app to find exactly what she wanted, that didn’t take very long with help from the dual stimulation delivering strong vibrations. Within moments she was gripping the bedsheet and asking for me to join in. We both loved the feeling of the toy and connection it brought between us. We’ve now used this toy more than a few times and it’s always delivered powerful orgasms without fail.

If you are thinking of getting a sync go I’d definitely recommend this 100%, we both love playing with this toy! I also think this would make a great cheeky little gift for a partner as the quality is amazing and it’s not intimidating at all.

Overall Rating: ? ****

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 24/07/24
Lovehoney Patterned Fishnet Suspender Tights

Fierce in Fishnets

These have got to be one of my favourite purchases this year (and I own A LOT of Lovehoney items).

I bought the tights in One Size, fitting comfortably into size 12’s usually. The tights provide plenty of stretch throughout, seem very durable, and will no doubt withstand a lot of wear. The material is relatively thick for tights, but I much prefer this.

I love the stockings-but-not-stockings appearance; it saves what can potentially be fiddly, while also providing some extra coverage around the lower tummy/waist. The criss-crosses at the front and back appear delicate but are probably my favourite feature! They draw the eye, and the way they sit over each bum cheek is just divine. Fishnet never fails either, and the fake lace-top design compliments the thighs beautifully.

Although I pair my tights with a simple black thong underneath, the tights are crotchless and would look incredible without. Plus, easy access. Know what I mean? They work really well with a short dress, especially one short enough to give a glimpse of the thigh details.

I’ve put them through the wash a couple of times and this hasn’t affected them at all! Definitely a pair of tights that are going to get plenty of use.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Design, colour, stretch, material

Cons: Nothings!

Bottom Line: Absolutely love them! Something different to the norm.

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 04/08/24
Lovehoney Fierce Leather Look Lace Up Black Catsuit

Feline Amazing

I feel like I’m slowly making my way through the Fierce range, although shocked I haven’t gone for this catsuit sooner. It’s wet-look, it has straps and criss-crosses and ties, it has an open back, and it reveals plenty while still keeping the body pretty covered. The fierce range is rated quite highly from experience, and this catsuit is no different however there are a few little bits that don’t sit quite right on me.

At 5ft6, size 10 on top/36C and 12 bottoms, I got this catsuit in a Medium. It sits snug against the body, especially my legs and my bum, but is stretchy throughout. I like the tightness, especially in this material; the light bounces off the curves and is absolutely mesmerising! I find the top half to be a little looser despite tying the halterneck straps quite tight. It tends to bunch up in places, and I can’t help but think that maybe with bigger boobs, this wouldn’t be so much of a problem. The piece does seem to flatten my boobs a little (despite there being less material in that area?) and I think it would benefit from a little more built-in support in the boob area, or even a singular strap across the back to keep everything in place.

Despite suggesting a strap, I LOVE the deep open-back. The curve of it falls beautifully into the curve of my lower back/bum, and with the added shine of the natural light hitting the wet-look, my booty looks good enough to eat.

I find the quality to be of a high standard; it’s comfortably lined (although can get a little warm), but the material can be stretched and pulled and shows no sign of wear. It also got a little creased when in the wardrobe but once on, you’d never know!

I’ve worn this catsuit with a simple black pair of heels and it works just fine, however it can be dressed up or down and still look absolutely incredible!

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Pros: design, materials, stretch

Cons: A bit loose around the torso, while also flattening my boobs a little?

Bottom Line: Sexy. Snug in all the right places, but loose in others too…

[For_Your_Eyes_Only_x]

by @For_Your_Eyes_Only_x, 02/07/24
Lovehoney Divine Romance Black Bra & Pearl G-String Set

Mixed thoughts.

If ever there’s a bra set that’s considered “barely there,” this is the one.

I received the set in a size Medium, and with a size 10/36C top and 12 bottoms, the set fit well, although not perfectly as I did find it dug in a little in places, but it fits well enough for a short period of time. The straps are adjustable on both the bra and g-string, and there’s a number of hook & eyes to choose from for the best fit. I secured the bra on the loosest, although the digging in was around my side mostly. The straps are thin though and this is bound to happen on the squishier parts of the body!

The set overall looks great! It’s simple, it’s strappy, and incredibly revealing. My boobs sit comfortably in the cups, and the underwire keeps them in place, while the straps support (somewhat!). The floral pattern just about covers my nipples, although they are prone to slipping and the bra requires a bit of adjusting to get back into place. I really like the cut-out/strappy design though, as well as the added touch of the double shoulder straps.

The g-string reveals even more! I’m not the biggest fan of crotchless underwear, and I’d appreciate if the floral design was a little lower to provide a bit more coverage, however I still love the design. The pearl g-string is absolutely divine. Although it’s comfortable, some more pearls would benefit me as I found myself pushing them up to the top as there were gaps in the string.

Overall, I wasn’t at my most comfortable in this set. I was conscious of my nipples slipping out and how the g-string looked from behind, however it really is sexy and I will continue to get wear out of it.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Pros: colour, concept

Cons: didn’t always sit right, a few more pearls would look great!

Bottom Line: sexy in theory, but didn’t give me the confidence I usually feel in beautiful lingerie!

[Tom-A]

by @Tom-A ,30/08/24
Lovehoney Tantric Tentacle Fantasy Dildo | Lovehoney UK

Tantric Tentacle

I was sent this fantasy dildo from Lovehoney as a product test. It was safe to say I was pretty
skeptical at first and before the toy arrived due to never having any previous experience with
fantasy toys. When the toy arrived I was a little nervous to open the delivered cardboard box to
unleash the beast inside but I took the dive.

The packaging the tentacle arrived in perfectly conceals the dildo with a clear photo on the front
of the box showing the product and a few brief descriptions but nothing too overwhelming or
tacky. Inside you’ll find a non electric toy safety guide that pretty much states the obvious, a
silicon dildo operation manual for if you didn’t know where to put it but that manual does not
include English so you must do the obvious and put that beast wherever you like, and the
tentacle comes sealed in a plastic bag keeping it all clean and safe.

SO getting to the juicy stuff ! the tantric tentacle is made is a pleasant deep ocean-blue and sea
green color scheme that is actually really nice and looks much nicer than what photos show, the
silicon is nice soft/squishy feeling really flexible at the tapered tip and squishy but firm towards
the thick base really helping it hold its form with five rows of prominent ball running a full length
of the underside and 3 spaced out rows of tentacle suckers running on the top side .The tentacle
also has a really good strong suction cup on the bottom that’s roughly 3 inches in diameter and
trust me when i say its got a firm grip for whatever you chose to stick it on that being on a
mirror, wall, tiles or even permanently stuck on a kitchen tiles to scare your guests when at come
over. The wide base/suction cup is a great feature making it super versatile enabling you to
attach it into a strap-on harness. I’ve not tried this but its most definitely not off the cards. The
one point I will mention that I’m not a fan of is the smell of the silicon is fairly strong and off
putting, I’ve thoroughly washed it loads but it doesn’t seem to be decreasing so I’ll assume it
wont fade with time.

TAMING THE TENTACLE.
Taking the plunge. After being skeptical at first that slowly grew into excitement to where i couldn’t help myself let the beast envelope me. I knew id be stretched having this beast in the back door so warming up to the main event i played around with various sized butt plugs before sticking the tentacle in the shower and backing up onto it. At first the flexible tip was a little fun attempting to get it in but with some persistence it slipped in, taking my time and slowly working myself down the shaft i began to take more and more until i couldn’t stretch anymore and i just take some time to feel every inch. the feeling of fullness the tentacle gives is amazing the flexibility really lets it glide in and fill you up, working it in and out feels incredible with all the texture stimulating the prostate is something id never experienced, all of those beautiful sensations have lit a fire inside of me and letting my arousal skyrocket every time leaving me with a incredibly strong/hard erection that needs to be dealt with. Climaxing while using this is well … powerful to say the least, this tentacle gives me some seriously powerful orgasms that take over my hole body leaving me weak in the legs while shaking I can’t emphasize how shocked I was the first time I nearly fell to the ground after shooting what seemed like 3 x the usual amount of cum across the bathroom.

The first time became a second then a third and now i have no idea im fully hooked on this toy. its
really something else! I’m a fan of fantasy toys without a doubt. The slow increase of girth down
the length of the toy is great because you can slowly work it in and surprise yourself after. The
toy does need a little more attention when cleaning but it’s nothing overwhelming and fully does not
outweigh the pleasure and feeling it gives. So I conclude that if you are on the fence with these
toys give it a go and I’m sure you’ll be surprised.

Overall Rating: ? out of 5 stars ****

Pros: good quality dildo with a very fun design. I’m very impressed with the strength of the suction cup.

Cons: strongly dislike the smell of the silicon as I find it off putting.

Bottom Line: give a fantasy toy a go! you’ll enjoy the feeling and they are fun toys for adults.

[Peitho]

by @Peitho , 19th September 2024
Lovehoney Luxury Waterproof Throw

Perfect Performance but Lacking Luxury

Now, lets be honest, when I first got this blanket out of it’s packaging I was disappointed. Velvet one side, soft fleece the other and the perfect size for a double bed? Um, no, not really.

The material on each side actually feels quite nice, it’s not uncomfortable and is actually rather nice to lie upon. Velvet side up and the fleece downwards feels the best and the fleece helps keep it in place as well but it’s not what I think of as “luxury” velvet and “soft” fleece and the overall feel is not that of a soft blanket but a bit more rigid. This is my first waterproof blanket though, so perhaps, the waterproof layer means they are all like this?

Size wise, perfect for a double bed? No. With my tape measure out, I make it about 150cm by 125cm which is significantly smaller than your standard double mattress and looks a little sad on our king size bed. However… it is perfect for the couch which happens to have a habit of getting, ahem, stained!

So, first impressions aren’t great but how well does it work? Well hooray, this is where it greatly improves! It was tested with water based lube, copious massage oil and, ahem, sexual bodily fluids. Everything that ran onto it, was squished into it or ejaculated over it absorbed and dried very fast.

We’re not into water sports, I doubt it could instantly absorb a full bladder but if they start making cloths for clearing up liquid spills out of this stuff I’m definitely getting some. It’s super absorbant and fast about it while letting nothing penetrate. Full marks there.

Next was to see how much it stained and how well it washed. I was amazed when I came to wash it, having completely dried before washing there was no visible sign whatsoever of what it had been through, even the massage oil had left no mark which it certainly does on sheets and couch cushions! The only sign anything had happened was the distinctive scent left from the flavoured lube and maybe the slightest fragrance of me.

It was too clean… so I thougt, screw it, lets just rub some tomato ketchup in too, why not see how it copes? Once washed (I chose an eco synthetic 20°C wash), no stains, no smell, perfect… and softer than before.

Truth to tell, it’s not had a proper testing since being washed so I’m yet to discover if it’s still totally waterproof though it faired fine against water splashes. However, I’m planning to take it as a picnic blanket to sit on at Blenheim Horse Trials next weekend if the weather is damp, so we’ll see how it does in an alternative role. It’s clearly a very versatile blanket as it has no indication or lables indicating it’s intended for sex so I’m sure will double up as a picnic blanket perfectly and noone will be any the wiser as to it’s alter occupation.

Overall, I think it’s quite expensive for what it is. I would expect it to be significantly larger and maybe have a slightly more luxurious feel but it is extremely good at fulfilling it’s function and cleans up amazingly, even just left to dry without washing! I’m glad we have it, it will be used.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Pros: It is absolutely waterproof and absorbs fluid and oils fast. Cleans perfectly with no stainage.

Cons: It should be bigger and would benefit from a softer feel, though the latter might be due to function.

Bottom Line: Totally waterproof and absorbs fluids fast. Should be bigger to justify the price tag.

[MattWillTry]

by @MattWillTry, 09/28/24
Lovehoney Large Classic Silicone Butt Plug 5.5 Inch

Satisfyingly Stretching!

This butt plug is great for stretching, warming up for large, girthy toys, or even leaving it in for a wonderful full feeling or to enhance other orgasms!

The size of this plug is more for the intermediate to advanced, not for beginners. With that said, the design of the plug helps you work up to taking this size as the increase in girth (to it’s max 7.5 inch circumference) is more gradual than other plugs that have a shorter, rounder design. One potential drawback of this design, although it wasn’t an issue for me, is that the longer insertable length may be a bit too long for some.

The design of the flared base, being more of a slender rectangle shape than a circle, helps improve comfort when wearing this plug for stretching out or while doing other activities as it sits more comfortably between the cheeks than a circular flared base of this size!

The cavity for adding a bullet vibe to this plug is a nice additional option, but I personally did not feel much vibration intensity when using a vibe with the plug. This may be due to the thickness of the silicone plug around the insertable bullet vibe, compared to toys with built-in vibration motors. However, it is an optional use, and keeps the price of this plug lower!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Slender shape for easier insertion
Quality silicone is easy to clean
Comfortable flared base design

Cons: Could not feel much vibration intensity when adding bullet vibe

Bottom Line: Great butt plug for intermediate to advanced users looking to stretch, warm up, or wear for fullness

[MattWillTry]

by @MattWillTry, 09/29/24
Lovehoney Inside Job Silicone Cock Ring and Butt Plug

Sleek plug and ring

This P-spot plug plus cock/ball ring was a great value toy with a sleek design. Was perfect to explore the sensations of both a P-spot plug and cock ring with a single toy!

The plug portion is not too large, should be pretty beginner friendly with a bit of warm up and lube. Once inserted, it put some nice pressure on my prostate. Since this plug doesn’t vibrate, I found it best to use with penile stimulation as the added pressure on the prostate increased my orgasm intensity!

I was able to put on the cock and ball ring portion pretty easily and it fit snugly, will depend on your own size. The ring gave me a harder and longer erection and delayed ejaculation! However, I did not personally care for the constrictive feeling delaying and during ejaculation. Others may enjoy the sensation though as I know a lot of people enjoy cock/ball rings.

Overall a great 2-in-1 toy design to explore some P-spot pressure and cock and ball ring to find out if you enjoy either or both!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Enjoyed the P-spot pressure.

Cons: The cock/ball ring constriction was not personally for me.

Bottom Line: Good 2-in-1 toy to explore P-spot pressure and cock/ball ring sensation!