My Reviews

[PleasureDrone]

Lovehoney Backdoor Buzzer 10 Function Silicone Prostate Vibrator
by @PleasureDrone, 29 April 2019
Lovehoney Backdoor Buzzer 10 Function Silicone Prostate Vibrator

Not man enough for me, size-wise,
but that little buzzer…

Overall Rating: 3/5 ☆ ☆ ☆

I’m a Bisexual man. For nearly 30 years I was with the same (female) partner, who made it clear that for her, anal play was never going to be on the menu, so my ass hasn’t seen any penetrative action for AGES. My wife died 4 years ago, and now I find myself open to the possibility of a new relationship - and, regardless of whether that turns out to be with a man or a woman, I want anal play to be part of our sex life.

I figured a good way to reintroduce myself to the world of backdoor fun might be with this product. I’d read a lot about how much prostate massage could enhance my orgasms etc., so when it arrived today, I was keen to get trying it. My verdict? Hmmm…

To be honest, I was more than a tad underwhelmed. With me generously lubed up, it slipped in extremely easily …almost TOO easily: after 30 years of no action, I’d been expecting my ass to be rather surprised by its new invader, but nope. The thing just squirrelled into place and hummed away - to no great erotic effect! Also, rather annoyingly I had to keep it in place most of the time with my hand. If left to its own devices, the thing kept trying to slip out again (thinks: did I use TOO MUCH lube?)

I can’t help feeling that the design would be a great deal better if the shaft had a bulge at its base - rather like many butt plugs have - to prevent it slipping back out of the anus. Even with the device firmly in place, I didn’t feel I was getting any prostate-specific sensations at all. Nor did its presence appear to enhance my erection. I was left thinking that I must have either (a) a very forgiving ass, or (b) an unusually capacious one!

I’ve got a hunch that if I want to stand a chance of actually FEELING anything down there, I’m going to have to buy something that’s a bit more of a challenge than this li’l fella. But wait! Now for the saving grace… Having removed the thing from me and thoroughly cleaned it, I took out the vibrating bullet insert and had a lovely time using it here, there and everywhere on my body as a general-purpose tease toy. The multiple vibration patterns are great fun, and some of them quite imaginative. Nice! Finally I decided to risk doing the one thing you’re NOT supposed to do with the vibro-bullet (in case it gets lost up inside you and results in an embarrassing trip to A+E - you have been warned!). Yes, I thrust it just an inch or so into my ass (considerably less lube-heavy now) and switched on…

OMFG!!! All that silicone had been getting in the way, dulling the effect of the vibrator! Managing to hold it neatly in place by the action of my sphincter muscles alone (but still being careful not to let it get swallowed up), I explored its range of settings again and was completely won over. THIS was the kind of experience I’d been hoping for: my poor, lonely ass, neglected for so many years, was finally getting its reward. Oh heaven! The vibrations made my sphincter twitch and spasm deliciously, which made me wriggle my butt, which in turn introduced the vibrator to new areas - again and again and again. Ooooooweeeee!

The resulting masturbation session lasted easily 30 minutes and ended in a VERY good orgasm. So, for the bullet part alone, it’s a keeper. Meanwhile I’m going on the lookout for a more genrously endowed - er - boyfriend.

Bottom Line: A letdown for its original purpose, but that vibrator is a little darling!

Cons: Not big enough to frighten (or even wake up) the nerve endings in my ass.

Pros: The vibrating bullet part.

[PleasureDrone]

Flexcite 10 Function Silicone Vibrating Prostate Massager
by @PleasureDrone, 2 May 2019
Flexcite 10 Function Silicone Vibrating Prostate Massager

Doesn’t do it for me.

Overall Rating: 2/5 ☆ ☆

I hate giving a negative review, but I can’t sit here typing lies, can I? The first thing I want to say is that it’s my EXPERIENCE OF USING this toy that’s been disappointing, not the toy itself. Let me explain…

Having not had my ass penetrated by anything (or anybody) since 1986, recently I bought from Lovehoney the “Backdoor Buzzer” prostate massager - a little 4 inch fellow with a bullet vibe in it - and found to my surprise that it didn’t do a lot for me: I was left thinking “Is that IT?”. Who’da thunk it? I figured I needed something a bit more challenging, so having read all the rave reviews, I ordered the bizarre-looking Flexcite.

I’ve used it twice now. On both occasions I was able to get all 8 inches of it inserted, but found the experience an odd mixture of boredom and irksome pain. The thing sits inside me, buzzing away, and I’m left thinking either “So what?” or “Ouch!” Actual PLEASURE just doesn’t seem to enter into it.

Strange, eh? I can only surmise that this is down to a quirk of my anatomy and/or nervous system. I mean, even wiggling the head of this thing against where my prostate should be, I have so little sense of anything good going on that I’m left wondering whether I’ve actually got a prostate!

The pain side of things isn’t anything to do with the size of the device: even with it fully inserted, I’m left suspecting I could easily take something larger. No, the pain seems to be caused by the pronounced curve of the device towards the tip. The head always ends up prodding against somewhere it shouldn’t be, causing discomfort. I’m left convinced that a straighter (inflatable? cock-shaped?) dildo-type beastie would be more to my taste - but even then, I’m not sure I’d actually feel anything very much. What a strange body I have! Go figure…

Pros: Easy to clean.

Cons: Tedium mixed with pain!

Bottom Line: In my case, a failed experiment. YMMV.

[PleasureDrone]

DOMINIX Deluxe Powerful Twist Nipple Sucker
by @PleasureDrone, 8 May 2019
DOMINIX Deluxe Powerful Twist Nipple Sucker

A new experience for me - interesting

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

I’m used to nipple clamps, but had always been curious about what suckers would feel like. Having shaved my chest to ensure a good skin-seal, I put a little lube around my nips and got pumping. I’m quite a pain junkie, so I wasn’t worried about that side of things, but what fascinated me was the sensual quality of the pain: a sort of deep ache, quite unlike the intense bite of a clamp.

I got a strange pleasure out of watching my nipples engorge and become distended. I managed to wind the suckers up to about halfway up the tube, but haven’t strayed any further (yet - we’ll see). After 15mins or so I took them off and really enjoyed the look of my new, “chapel hat-peg” nips.

I didn’t think that they’d become especially sensitive - until I then tried applying an adjustable clamp. Ohh lordy! I couldn’t get the clamp anywhere near the setting I’m used to. So, these are fun devices. Let’s be honest, you have to be prepared to laugh at how ridiculous you look, with what appear to be two pepper-grinders stuck to your chest, but it’s worth it for the sensations.

One note: after the first time I used mine, they got very stiff to wind up and the ‘O’ rings fell out - too much friction on the inside of the tube. I learned that a tiny bit of moisture (or a very thin slippy lube?) on the ‘O’ rings quickly gets them working normally again.

Pros: A new sensory experience.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Go on, put them on the dining table and confuse grandma!

ADDED NOTE: Ever since first using these suckers, my nipples have changed. Now, they are permanently erect/proud. I like it!

[PleasureDrone]

Fetish Fantasy Extreme Advanced Silicone Spanking Paddle
by @PleasureDrone, 8 May 2019
Fetish Fantasy Extreme Advanced Silicone Spanking Paddle

Gulp!

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Owing to a happy accident of multiple discounts, I managed to bag this item for less than half price - woohoo!

Arrived promptly, as usual, which was good, because the anticipation of waiting for it was doing my brain in. I’m a vegetarian who doesn’t buy or use anything made of leather. The trouble I have with many faux-leather spankers/crops etc. is that the lightness of the material makes them less effective (i.e. not painful enough). No risk of that with this, though. Its a BEAST.

On unpacking it, the first thing that struck me (if you’ll pardon the pun) was its weight. This is one hefty piece of kit. This, combined with the flexibility of the silicone, means that it packs a serious punch - far more so than an equivalently-sized leather paddle might do. I am currently restricted to solo play [I know… sob], but to be honest, when testing this item on myself, I was kinda glad there was nobody else around to wield it. I gave myself about 12 strokes, increasing the impact as I went, but quickly reached a point at which I felt “Oof - that’s quite enough for now, thanks!”

WOW. The sheer slap, sting and thudding heft of this thing is delicious, verging on the scary. If ever I did find this being used on me by a dom with the intention of teaching me a serious lesson, I think I’d have to make triple certain they knew ALL about my safe word.

It’s nice to wield, although I feel that the handle would be a lot more comfortable to hold if it were padded or rounded in profile (like a broom handle) rather than dead flat as it is. Actually, come to think of it, this is a modification that any owner with a bit of DIY skill could easily make. Also - and this is a tiny criticism of an otherwise excellent item - I have a sense that the hanging loop (which is part of the same one-piece silicone moulding as the rest of it) could benefit from being made a little sturdier. As it is, it just feels a bit soft and over-flexible, which raises a worry that it might one day break. Mind you… my ability to withstand this monster will have broken long before then!

Stop press:
This is a quick follow-up comment to my recent review of this product. Since that first tentative 12-smack session, I have had time to use the paddle more comprehensively on myself - literally a whole afternoon of self-walloping - and now I LOVE IT - so much so that I’m kinda addicted to it. Right now, having to sit down to type this review is proving a bit of a challenge, albeit a rather lovely one!

Pros: It hurts!

Cons: It hurts!

Bottom Line: It hurts!

[PleasureDrone]

Lovehoney Tease Me Adjustable Nipple Clamps
by @PleasureDrone, 8 May 2019
Lovehoney Tease Me Adjustable Nipple Clamps

Small but businesslike

Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

When these arrived, I was a bit surprised at how small they are. Yes, I know that Lovehoney provide an “in the hand” photo and a measurement (3 inches), but still, in my mind I’d imagined something a bit more substantial. No matter: we all know that size isn’t everything! Having tried them several times over a period of days (my nips are now so tender I’m having to take a week off!), I can confirm that they are perfectly up to the job.

The silicone tips grip well (I had them on their tightest setting and managed to suspend a frankly excruciating 500g of weight from one nipple before the clamp finally deigned to slip off - I won’t be trying that again - Owwwwww!)

The sliding adjuster is very easy to use and can be used with subtlety, giving the full range of experience from “Ooh that pinches a bit” to “Help! What have I done to deserve this?” I also think that, when on, they look a bit like jewellery. Heavens, but my nipples look pretty!

One tiny gripe: When they’re in their fully open position, with the slide adjuster at the bottom of its travel, the adjuster likes to stay where it is: consequently, having placed them on the nipple, you are then obliged to squeeze the clamps closed a bit with your fingers before the slide adjuster will move. This is no biggie for a pain junkie like m’self, but I can see it being scary/off-putting for a novice sub who needs gentle coaxing into the world of nipple devices. I see this as a potential problem, given that these are likely to be the first nipple clamps some newbies would buy.

Pros: Good grip. Easy to adjust.

Cons: Adjuster bar gets stuck at the bottom.

Bottom Line: Owww!

[PleasureDrone]

LHM Grey Stripe and Mesh Thong
by @PleasureDrone, 12 Dec 2020
LHM Grey Stripe and Mesh Thong

A good fit, look great, but let down by the fabric

Overall Rating: 1/5 ☆

I received these as a tester item.

What I liked:
I’m currently about 42" waist (working on reducing it, but that’s another story). I found these briefs perfectly easy to get into, and once they were on, my initial feeling was that they were a good, comfortable fit. In no way did I feel that they were too tight or, conversely, in any danger of falling off. This is essentially down to the fact that they are very stretchy.

As guys go, I’m averagely endowed: there’s a decent handful of gentleman’s accoutrements when flaccid, growing to 6" when erect. The pouch on these briefs held my fun bits in place snugly but without feeling constricted. As you can see from the product photos, your boy goodies are teasingly semi-visible through the mesh and the overall effect is (in my opinion) pleasingly sexy. So far, so good!

The downside:
These briefs are made entirely of synthetic fibres: 92% Polyester / 8% Spandex. This is not something that will be a problem for everybody, but unfortunately, for some of us, including me, it is.

Within a few minutes of first putting them on, I started to become unpleasantly aware of how harsh and scratchy feeling they were against my skin. Walking around in them, I found that my genitals were starting to itch from the movement, and even the stitching on the waistband began to feel rough and uncomfortable. It was a fun-killer for me, though - to the point that after no more than 25 minutes’ wear I was very glad to get the things off.

Such a shame, as in every other respect I think they’re great. For me, a cotton/spandex mix would have been much more comfortable. I have other snug, stretchy briefs with that mixture and they work fine.

Pros: Fit well and look great.

Cons: 100% synthetic = itchy and scratchy (for me).

Bottom Line: Right look, wrong fabric.

[PleasureDrone]

Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Wrist Cuffs
by @PleasureDrone, 14 May 2019
Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Wrist Cuffs

Comfy but surprisingly large

Overall Rating: 3/5 ☆ ☆ ☆

I’m a vegetarian who never buys leather, so these appeared ideal for my needs. I’m a 6ft 2" man of medium build (90kgs) and I didn’t think I had particularly slender wrists (mine measure 7½ inches / 19 cms circumference), but I was surprised to find that with these cuffs, I had to use the very last hole on the buckle fastener before they’d fit me snugly. Every other setting was far too loose. I can’t imagine how one could use these on a (female?) sub with properly slender wrists - they’d just slip off!

Once on, they feel comfy and sturdy - although I’d like to say to Lovehoney that your promo photo is really rather misleading! In your picture, the tongue that fits through the buckle appears to hug the contours of the cuff. In reality, it hangs free, flapping about somewhat untidily.

I feel that the finish/aesthetics of the item could be improved. Particularly, I don’t like the square cut-off ends of the faux leather: I’d have preferred them to be rounded or corner-cut - but that’s a matter of personal taste. I like the black chain, clasp and D-rings. Aesthetics aside, though, once I’m in them, I feel suitably cuffed and ready to be played with!

Pros: Comfortable.

Cons: Rather large, and could be better finished.

Bottom Line: Not bad, but not great either.

[Mint-Monster]

Breaker.

I’m tempted to add to this, but the optimist in me is still waiting for the user review page to return

[PleasureDrone]

Lovehoney Rechargeable Mini Bullet Vibrator and Sleeve Set (5 Piece)
by @PleasureDrone, 3 Nov 2020
Lovehoney Rechargeable Mini Bullet Vibrator and Sleeve Set (5 Piece)

Powerful and versatile, lots of fun,
but let down by a poor connector design

Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

PACKAGING
The kit comes in a neat pink and purple box (102mm x 86mm x 35mm). The front of the box shows a photo of the items in the kit; the back of the box has printed instructions in very small type - but to be honest, who needs instructions? The bullet vibe switches on and off and operates like every other multi-pattern vibe you know.

THE TOY
The toy and its 4 attachment heads are made of velvet-smooth silicone in a very pleasing shade of purple. The instructions advise to use a small drop of water-based lube to help slip the heads on and off the unit, but I found that they will do so without lube. However, using the lube is advisable to avoid long-term wear of the silicone surfaces.The bullet vibe itself is 6cm long.

CHARGING
Because it’s a fully submersible toy, the charging cable connects using a magnetic plug, and - in all honesty - it’s RUBBISH. The connector pops into place easily enough, but as it’s only held on by tiny, weak magnets, it can be knocked off VERY easily. In fact, merely the weight of the charging cable itself is enough to dislodge it! Forget about hooking up the charging cable and then stuffing the vibe in a bedroom drawer to charge out of sight. Ain’t gonna stay connected! The only way to prevent the connector falling off is to leave the bullet vibe lying flat on an open surface (where it could be seen by anybody - not great if you live in a busy household!) and make sure the cable is not left trailing in a position where it could be brushed against …because that’s all it will take: one slight brush against that cable, and the connector will pop off. NOT IMPRESSED. I’d be much, much happier is this device had a proper plug and socket.

During charging, a small blue LED in the base of the vibe flashes about once a second. When charging is complete, the LED glows steadily.

USING THE TOY
In the centre of the toy’s base there is a small hidden button. Press this and hold it in until the unit kicks into life. The same button is used to step through the 7 vibration patterns.

Like most rechargeable toys, this baby packs a lot of vibe power. The vibration is fast and buzzy. To give you some idea: the bullet on its own was a bit too much for me to stand, even through clothing!I tried two of the heads: the pointed one and the one with the ball-shaped head. Obviously, like any vibe, this toy can be used on any part of the body, but I’ve previously enjoyed using a small battery-powered bullet vibe on, around and (with some care) just inside my anus, and I was keen to see how this toy fared for that kind of play.

ANSWER: very well indeed! Teasing that area with the pointed head was great fun - I could happily have played that way for quite some time - but I was really keen to know whether the ball-head would remain in place, gripped by my sphincter muscles like a mini butt-plug, enabling me to stop worrying about in slipping in too far or falling out (as other toys have done) …and it does. Initially I wasn’t sure whether it was staying put, simply because I was unused to the sensation of it just sitting there, but I soon learned to relax and let it do its thing. I’m not saying it will work or everyone; if you’re used to big anal toys and your sphincter muscles are fairly lax, I doubt this will stay in place for you, but it’s still a very enjoyable piece of kit and well worth the asking price. They just need to sort out that magnetic connector nonsense!

NOTE: You’ll see that under “Orgasm rating” I’ve only given it one star. This is simply because, in testing the item to satisfy my curiosity, I wasn’t interested in taking my play to orgasm on this occasion. It is not a criticism of the toy itself.

Pros: Powerful and versatile.

Cons: Terrible magnetic connector falls off.

Bottom Line: Great in actual use; charging is a bit of a faff.

[PleasureDrone]

Bondage Boutique Adjustable Nipple Clamps
by @PleasureDrone, 11 Sep 2020
Bondage Boutique Adjustable Nipple Clamps

Just won’t stay put

Overall Rating: 1/5 ☆

I bought these last year (2019) as a step-up from the small-but-effective Lovehoney Tease Me Adjustable Nipple Clamps. I’m afraid to day I found these disappointing.

It’s all down to the PVC covers on the jaws. They’ve got no real grip when applied to the skin. Even on the tightest setting, I found that that they can be pulled off - or just drop off - far too easily. Removing the PVC covers is not an option either, unless you want to say goodbye to your nipples altogether - the covers are there to protect you from the jagged metal teeth of alligator clips - YIKES!

Consequently, these have stayed in my toy cupboard, unused and unloved, ever since I bought them. If they could be re-designed with covers that had decent grip, they’d be fine!

Pros: Nice chain?

Cons: They fall off.

Bottom Line: A failure.

[Ace12345]

Breaker (just thought I’d do this now before i go to bed to reset your chain count)

[PleasureDrone]

Bondage Boutique Advanced Rattan cane
by @PleasureDrone, 19 Sep 2020
Bondage Boutique Advanced Rattan cane

Deliciously severe

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Having read the other reviews here, I was well prepared for what to expect - and I haven’t been disappointed!

The product is simplicity itself: a thin, flexible, lightweight, VERY stingy no-nonsense rattan cane wrapped in a back plastic sleeve. Apart from the obvious hygiene advantage it offers (useful for a dom/domme who has multiple subs), IMHO the plastic wrap actually intensifies the impact sensation meted out, compared with a non-wrapped cane.

While light and very easy to control, this is capable of inflicting severe pain and has considerable potential to cause damage, so take care!

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: Be afraid (and very, very turned on).

[PleasureDrone]

Lovehoney Release Masturbation Lubricant
by @PleasureDrone, 27 May 2019
Lovehoney Release Masturbation Lubricant

The best ever

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Prior to buying this product, I’d tried Lovehoney’s water-based anal lube, which is perfect for backdoor play, but its thickness and tendency to dry out in the air make it unsuitable for other purposes - i.e. masturbation. I’d also tried silicone lube, which I hated, on account of its oily consistency and tendency to dull sensation.

Third time lucky? Definitely YES!
This stuff is superb. As others have said, it starts off as a thick paste-like substance but immediately melts onto your skin to give the most fabulously silky feel. If anything, I’d say it enhances sensation.

It also lasts for ages and never seems to dry out. A definite winner!

NOTE: I’ve discovered that its sensation-enhancing quality makes it an excellent anal lube - maybe not safe for very deep penetration, but if you like playing around in the …er… shallows of your sphincter with a vibrator, be prepared for some thrillz.

Pros: Gorgeous feels.

Cons: It’s not available on the NHS!

Bottom Line: Excellent - a must-have.

[PleasureDrone]

This review is so new, it hasn’t even appeared on the LH product page yet!

Bondage Boutique T-Style Cock Ring with Ball Divider
by @PleasureDrone, 19 July 2021
Bondage Boutique T-Style Cock Ring with Ball Divider

Worked for me, but faffy and not
very adjustable, so YMMV

Overall Rating: 3/5 ☆ ☆ ☆

I bought this item back in May 2019 and am surprised to find that I didn’t leave a review then, so here goes…

As it’s relevant, for the purposes of this review, I am normally 6" when erect, with a girth of 4.75" Don’t ask me how big my balls are - I’ve never worked out how to measure them!

I’m a submissive, and a certain amount of CBT has always been “on the menu” for me. Consequently, as this was my first ever cock-and-ball restraint device, I was super-excited to find out how it would feel.

So excited, in fact, that I was willing to forgive just how INCREDIBLY FAFFY it is to put this thing on. I’m not kidding you: first time out, I spent quite a while with it sort of half fastened and me in a state of bafflement trying to work out which bit of me was supposed to go where …before I realised that I had it on back to front. Believe me, it’s very easily done!

Once I’d sussed out my orientation (and darlings, I thought I had that one figured in my teens ), there was the matter of my recalcitrant testicles. Faced with the prospect of being divided, strapped up and pushed out in a very exposing and vulerable way, they refused (if you’ll pardon the pun) to play ball. It was like they took one look and said “In there??? No way!” and promptly scurried away, up into my pelvic cavity. Even a seasoned drag artist would have been well impressed with my “tuck”.

Eventually, though, I managed to catch them off-guard, and while they were both still in dangling-free mode, I looped the leatherette straps round 'em and got the metal poppers fastened before they had another chance to squirrel themselves away. Success!

The poppers have two tightness settings, which on me equate to “Mmmm that’s snug” and “Help!”. I’m into pain play, but not testicular stranglage, so I settled for snug.

OMG what a gorgeous feeling! With my balls all exposed and unable to escape, I was able to tease and torment them to my heart’s content (mostly with my super-spiky leatherworker’s wheel - ow! ow! ow!).

Meanwhile, the “cock ring” part of the assembly worked its own little wonder, constricting blood flow just sufficiently to effect an impressive change on my old pal. Y’know I said I was 6 inches when erect? In this device, I gained at least another half inch and looked like I was heading for 7. I was also VERY hard: so hard you could have used me to batter a door down!

If I have a negative crit, it’s that the choice of just the two popper settings is a bit “all or nothing” - the jump in tightness between them is rather too big. For that same reason, I’m aware that this device is not going to fit everyone. I think I just got lucky on the sizing.

A final note: when I first tried this on, I was freshly shaved. At a later session , when I’d let my pubes grow back, fitting it became considerably more difficult, cos my hairs kept getting caught in the poppers, causing the kind of discomfort I didn’t want. So if you want to get the best from this device, get naked down there.

Pros: The sensation of being “caged” once it was on.

Cons: Quite a challenge to get into it.

Bottom line: Worth the effort, provided your junk happens to be the right size for it.

ADDED NOTE: Forgot to mention that since my first experiments with this device, I am now able to wear it on its tightest setting.

HOW TO PUT IT ON:
You can’t hope to get this thing on if you are sitting or lying down: your balls will slither around all over the place, or try to disappear like mine did! Stand up and let gravity do the work for you. Start with all the poppers undone. Loop the main strap behind your scrotum and fasten its two poppers over the top of your penis shaft where it meets the pubic bone. Then bring the ball divider strap up, nestle your balls into it and fasten it to whatever tightness you enjoy. Don’t be surprised if it looks unbalanced: most men have one ball bigger than the other.

[PleasureDrone]

Lovehoney Indulge Silicone Lubricant 100ml
by @PleasureDrone, 14 May 2019
Lovehoney Indulge Silicone Lubricant 100ml

Nothing wrong with it,
but not what I was hoping for

Overall Rating: 1/5 ☆

As per the title, this review isn’t trying to suggest there’s anything wrong with this product - it just isn’t the right product for me.

Based on descriptions and other customers’ reviews, I’d been expecting a very light, zippy-feeling lube with a tendency to accentuate (or at least maintain) physical sensation. What I got was a heavy, oily substance which tended to deaden sensation - ideal for those with a tendency to come too quickly, but no use for me.

I used it on my penis during a masturbation session and was instantly disappointed in the feel of it. So effective was it at killing skin sensation that after a frankly tedious 25 minutes of useless fapping, I gave the whole business up as a bad job! I could have been at it all afternoon and got nowhere: my dick was effectively anaesthetised by this stuff.

I can’t see me ever using this product again - unless maybe my bicycle needs oiling! Never mind…

Pros: Nothing.

Cons: Oily, thick and dulls sensation.

Bottom Line: Useless.

[PleasureDrone]

BASICS Anal Beads 10 inch
by @PleasureDrone, 14 May 2019
BASICS Anal Beads 10 inch

Does exactly what you’d expect

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Nice looking things and do the job. It’s rather difficult to think of anything more to say about these anal beads: they do exactly what you’re hoping they’ll do. Easy to insert (I managed to get the whole lot in at the first go). Once in, they stay in place. Easy to clean. Hell, I even like the colour!

I was able to get some fun sensations by holding a bullet vibe against the end of the beads when they were inside me. Made me giggle!

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Fun!

[PleasureDrone]

Dash 10 Function Silicone Vibrating Butt Plug 4 Inch
by @PleasureDrone, 11 Sep 2020
Dash 10 Function Silicone Vibrating Butt Plug 4 Inch

Good, but could be even better

Overall Rating: 3/5 ☆ ☆ ☆

Bought this last year (2019), and although I’ve not used it very frequently, it’s certainly fun when I do. You could say it does what it says on the tin (except there’s no tin!)

My only criticism of it is that, with its current shape, I find I’m having to concentrate too much on trying to keep it inside me. It wants to slip out all the time! Consequently, I can’t relax and succumb to its buzzy ministrations as much as I’d like to. On more than one occasion I’ve lost concentration and it has shot out of me! If I were to be allowed to re-design this product (to suit myself!) I’d make that last spherical bump a good deal bigger, so that the sphincter muscles can close round it and hold it in place without conscious effort from the user.

Don’t get me wrong - I like this thing - he’s a fun fella - but I’d like him a whole lot more if he stayed put.

Pros: Nice range of vibration settings.

Cons: Falls out (of me - YMMV).

Bottom Line: Fun, but too much like hard work.

[Ace12345]

Breaker

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 3rd April 2020

DOXY Die Cast 3R Rechargeable Wand Vibrator

For The Wandering Traveller

If you’re a wand lover like myself, you’ll know all too well the name Doxy and to look past the lavish price tag for becoming a privialged owner of such a prestigious toy. Quality cums at a cost, but I’m a firm believer in ‘Buy right - Buy once’. Manufactured here in the UK, this toy is proof the Great British know how to treat a girl or guy.

I won’t bore you with the delivery and packaging process, we all know how discreet the procedure is and how Lovehoney are masters of sub-24 hour logistics. Praise be for next-day mail order orgasms.

The packaging of this wand is truly breathtaking. Not only is it gifted to you in gorgeous black boxing, it comes housed in a full sized, brushed aluminium case. Honestly the lengths they’ve gone to deliver quality in every aspect of this toy is remarkable.

The Doxy 3R is slightly smaller than most wand models, combined with cordless, rechargeable power, I can see this being a travel must. I can only imagine this would be included in the welcome pack for new members of the British Airways Cabin Crew, and if not - why not. The design and appearance of this wand is outstanding. Pictures cannot do it merit. The blue crystal, metallic coating and the lacquered surface result in a finer paint finish than my car.

Unsurprisingly, due to its titanium alloy body, this is quite a weighty toy in comparison to my other rechargeable wands, but my god that doesn’t matter. You won’t need to be holding this for long periods of time.

Simple controls for simple minds. 3 buttons that will change your life. On/Off, Speed Up and Speed Down. Even the most obliterated, post-orgasm spaghetti brain can push the right buttons on this to take you to that next climax of many. All buttons are illuminated beautifully in blue LED so even in the blackest boudoir there can be no confusion.

There’s only one option for patterns of vibrations, an escalating pulse setting, but thats of no concern to me. I’m a power girl and consistent, uninterrupted stimulation is what does it for me.

The power of this toy is off the scale, I’m sure there are garden strimmers that pack less power than this. The vibrations this enforces upon you, not only to your clit, but your into and around your whole pussy, lips and all, are phenomenal. Like I said I’m a real wand woman but even my Lovehoney Deluxe Mains model can’t touch the power of this. It drives deep shaking rumbles right into you, not buzzy and ticklly like many other toys. Yet it doesn’t leave me with that over stimulated, numbed clit like some of my other wands do, what sorcery is this? It forces orgasm after soaking orgasm until my head says no more. The first time I used this, I hand on heart near fainted.

The only real downside, and personally for me this is a real shame, is that it’s not waterproof. Such a negative for a cordless, rechargeable product of this price. Avid wand fanatics will know all too well how wet things become with a wand. Even if you’re a rare squirter, or perhaps never have before, I’d all but guarantee this will make you gush.

Run time for this ride on is still to be tested to its limits by me, I charge it before each use but it’s just that powerful I’ve yet to manage more than 20 minutes continuous play before collapsing on the edge of unconsciousness in a heaving, soaking heap. Pass me the towels, I’m done.

It’s definitely a lot quieter than my mains powered wand. There’s still a noticeable rumble, more so on the lower speeds (or maybe I just don’t care when it’s on the higher speeds) but far more inconspicuous than others. Still, not so much of an issue to me as my screams with a wand normally give away any attempts of discretion, but I know for many this will be a great selling point.

Now to that soft silcone head. Unlike other wands, this part isn’t made from PVC plastic, but a fine medical grade silicone. Honestly the difference is unbelievable until tried for yourself. It feels as though it moulds to your intimate areas rather than butting up against you. Another superb feature is a removable head and screw on attachments apposed to the old slip on options. I’m quite a rough girl and things can get intense, the last thing you need is a G-Spot attachment slipping off mid orgasm. Yes it’s happened in the past and yes I have cried. All of these can be unscrewed and removed for cleaning.

Being smaller in size, the Doxy 3 Range have slimmer heads than other wands, it has a circumference of about 5.75 inches meaning existing head attachments you may already own will likely not fit, but fret not, as with all Doxy ranges, the options for revolutionary attachments is plentiful and ever growing.

To summarise, this is by far the finest quality, most luxuriously beautiful and most undeniably powerful toy I’v ever had between my legs, and most likely ever will. My other wands will be thrown from the window as this may be the only wand for me.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: Perfect for travelling… through time and space.

Cons: Such a pity it’s not waterproof for a bathtime buddy.

Bottom Line: The shocking, shaking power shames nearly all other wands.

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 27th June 2020

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo

My New Glow-to Glass

Glass Dildos are among my most favourite of sex toys, they’re oh so different to the run of the mill rubber rabbits, silicone snakes and classic jelly dildos. They’re classy, eye-catching and beautiful to both look at and hold. I adore the weight of them and crave the heavy and hard density of firm toys inside me, something unforgivingly rigid to squeeze and hold tightly. As if that weren’t enough, this new dildo glows an alluring glittery green in the blackness of my boudoir. Being a firm believer as firm toy receiver, I couldn’t wait to try this.

As with all of Lovehoney’s Sensual Glassware range, the dildo comes in simple but stylish boxing. Inside, it’s comfortably wrapped within a foam blanket. The dildo is gifted to you in a sumptuous black velvet drawstring bag. Honestly these bags are so beautiful I could buy the dildos just for these bags alone.

So how does it glow? I’ll keep you in the dark no longer. I can tell you not all dildos look the same with the lights down low. It has a corkscrew spiral of glowing glitter stars throughout the center of the glass and into that magical moon handle. I left this out pride of place on my window sill all day - I know, I have no shame nor shyness. I let it absorb all of that gorgeous natural light to steal for myself later that evening. I could have charged it with a standard bedroom lamp but my greed got the better of me and I wanted to see how bright it would glow. I was not disappointed.

After plunging my bedroom into darkness, like a radioactive rod it was beaming and gleaming before I started screaming. How did it feel? If you’re not new to glass-play then you’ll know exactly what I mean when describing the girth of solid toys.

It may not measure an eye-watering circumference but glass and metal toys gift you that exceptionally full and filled feeling. The slightly cold surface pressing against your wet lips and the unyielding rigidity of glass toys on first insertion always catches my breath and although this was warmed in the sunlight all day, it was no exception.

The insertable length is absolutely perfect for me, I can comfortably devour the entire the dildo to the flared base without it feeling too threatening and invasive. I found it best to only insert the dildo about 2 inches to the second bulb to begin with and rock it up and down rather than in and out. I find this really presses and pushes firmly against my G-Spot. Then when you feel the pressure building and you sense you just can’t take any more, apply some short, shallow and very quick thrusts and I guarantee you’ll explode. This soon leaves me screaming and squirting, gasping then gushing, with a glowing light at the end of my tunnel.

Being glass, it has no surface friction so it quite literally glides in and out of you. You can use any lube you like - or just your own as it’s undeniably arousing to see your wetness shine all along and around it. On top of all that, glass dildos can be warmed or cooled before use in warm or cold water - or the fridge (not the freezer) - to give an incredibly exciting and different foreplay, sexual or masturbatory experience. I adore temperature play and so not only was I investing in a toy which is gorgeous, glowing and glamorous, I was also getting a dildo which can warm me up between the sheets in winter, then cool me down on those hot and steamy summer nights.

Of course I’ve tried it for anal, I’m sure you will too. It is the perfect shape for anal play for me. It doesn’t have the biggest flared base so just be careful or you’ll loose the moon to where the sun doesn’t shine.

In summery, it may not have vibrations, it’s got no suction cup for hands free play but I promise you this, not all dildos need balls bells and whistles. This piece of luminous glowing glasswork, and like so many other glass dildos I own, looks and feels amazing to insert and use as a sexual, sensual toy. It’s stunning to leave out on your bedside table but more importantly it’s amazing between your legs. Oh, and there’s no loosing this dildo in the dark so you’ll have all of the fun when the sun goes down - and the moon comes out to play.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s beautiful, it’s so pretty, it glows so bright and feels amazing.

Cons: Nothing whatsoever.

Bottom Line: I’m completely and undeniably over the moon!