My Reviews

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester / Review Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 27th July 2021

King Cock Ultra Realistic Thrusting Warming Realistic Vibrator

Is It Just A Pipedream?

It’s true, I have a shameless addiction to dicks and dildos and so I’m far from new to the ‘Pipedream King-Cock’ range of wonderfully realistic willy’s, I’m sure I’ve nearly tried them all - I am truly the Cock Queen of the King Cocks that’s for sure. I’m forever trying to find that new comatosing masturbatory experience that leaves you unable to walk and/or look at yourself in the mirror afterwards, so the idea of combining one of my favourite brand of faux cocks with completely automated, self-thrusting self-love, had me more than a little turned on.

The packaging is a lot prettier than I expected it to be, a black box with large pictures of the toy, information and instructions clearly printed all over every side. Included with the toy is a magnetic USB charging lead. Initially out of the box, the toy does have a mild new plastic scent, but this soon dissipates after a quick and careful wash - just remember it’s not waterproof.

It’s surprisingly lightweight to hold and even little me can comfortably grasp it in one of my petit hands. The buttons are simple and there can be no confusion using and learning their functions.

The look, feel and fidelity of the dildo part of this device is revolutionary. Static double density’s a thing of the past people, triple dimensions of realism and robotics is where the 21st century has brought us now and what a time to be alive.

The lifelike Fanta-Flesh movable skin surface looks and feels like it’s made from wet-dreams and wishes. With a spider web of raised veins and ridges smothering the outside of the entire shaft to the soft and squishy balls, this really is a pretty little dick to get wet for - and those waved bunched ripples of a taught pulled back foreskin, exposing that very defined coronal ridge and soft bulbous head, is breathtaking. It’s a bit alright this.

This dildo is definitely a lot smaller and slimmer than my normal choices, but although the description states an insertable length of only 5.5”s, I measured it just over that. And I can tell you with some firm pushing and pressure there’s a comfortable 6”s of devour-able dick for the most eager of beavers.

The heating feature isn’t all that hot. I was a little anxious of the internal warming element instantly igniting and charring like a cheap Chinese phone charger, but thankfully I had no such issues. Unlike myself, it does take a little time to warm up though, and it did take longer than the ‘few’ minutes stated on the box.

After turning on the heating mode, I tried to pass some time waiting by loosing my mind in some erotic fiction. After a few torturously arousing minutes, the dildo felt a little tepid to the touch, but not the raging hot inferno I’d hoped, so I buried my face back in my book and waited a little longer. Before I knew it, I’d finished reading an entire MFF threesome story - THREE people had orgasmed by now and not one of them was me. The dildo felt warmer but still nothing I’d hoped for, I read an extra exert of girl-on-girl filth just to be sure I’d given it enough time. At this point, now not being able to abstain from starting to touch myself, the toy was noticeably warm and I was now on fire in a sweating mess of arousal. So yes, the warming function works ok, just give it a lot of time.

The vibrations are a lot quieter than I expected but unfortunately not that powerful and more of a humble buzz than the deep rumbles I crave. This is no big issue for me, internal vibrations aren’t always necessary to make me cum, but with 3 speeds and 4 patterns of vibrations, it will still be a pleaser for many I’m sure. You do you, and I’ll do me.

The thrusting stroke is only about 1 inch in total, but depending on how you use it, and combined with your own thrusting, 1” is more than plenty. With 7 patterns of thrusts, again there really is options for everyone, although I must say, they all feel very similar when in use. The thrusting motor of course has a noticeable noise but it’s really not that loud, and I’ll be honest, I’m definitely louder.

The dildo itself is actually a little too small and slender for me, it’s big thick dicks for this girth craving girl. Ever the problem solver, I upgraded and overhauled the toy by using one of my husbands penis extension sleeves firmly slid over the dildo and the loop attached around the balls. Work smart folks, not hard. Adapt and over-cum.

I’ve found this toy is fabulous for external fun and foreplay too. I can tell you it’s back-arching pleasure to both watch and feel this sliding between and parting your lips whilst vibrating and thrusting back and forth against your clit. Using the toy this way alone feels phenomenal and has brought me to an eye-watering climax more than once now.

But…

The best way - and definitely my favourite way - I’ve found to get myself off, is to cum over it completely hands free. If I lay on my back, insert the dildo only about two inches, I can bring my feet up so my heels touch my bum, spread apart my knees as far as I can and then hold the toy tightly inside of me with the soles of my feet. With every thrust of the up-sweeping shape of this dick pressing and teasing my G-spot while my hands can manipulate my breasts and nipples, it’s a guarantee I’ll gush in minutes. If only it could pull my hair too.

Real feel Fanta-Flesh does however come at a cost. The slightest bits of fluff, lint, dust, hair, or anything else not bolted down is instantly attracted to this dildo - me included. Even leaving it to dry results in it collecting fluff from the air. Personally, I clean it after use and then wipe it over with cleaning wipes again before using, but a large toy/dildo storage bag from Lovehoney would solve this problem. It’s also worth noting that this dildo is not made from silicone, it’s made from a slightly porous TPE material so thoroughly cleaning after use is a hygiene must.

I’m summery, for me it’s definitely a little too slim for pussy play alone, but when used with a penis extender sleeve it is sublime - and it’s unbelievably good for anal. The thrusting motion is fiercely fast and frantic but it’s far from forceful and could perhaps do with a little more strength. The hyper realistic dildo is a pure work of sensory art, it’s futuristic yet feels far from robotic. I don’t think the heating feature is all that great overall, but a real life warm penis is usually the last thing I want when I’m masturbating anyway.

Yes it has a hefty price tag, but you have to remember this isn’t a four-figure fucking-machine, and so for that reason, I love it.

Overall Rating: 4/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: It’s one pretty penis, it’s surprisingly lightweight and easy to hold.

Cons: Such a shame it’s not completely waterproof for shower and bathtime fun.

Bottom Line: A little slim for pussy play for me, but for anal it is to die for.

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

Lovehoney love motion remote control warming thrusting sex machine set

Tale of two halves

I had a lot of fun with this toy, and its definitely one id use again. If you cant shell out for a full size sex machine i think its a fun alternative. That being said, the suction cup is really quite picky and needs a shiny flat surface to stick to. its also not the easiest toy to clean. But those negatives aside, its very versatile and i can see myself thinking of a lot of inventive ways to use this.

This toy has many good qualities, unfortunately the suction cup is not one of them. In a house full of wood I really struggled to find anything it would stick to, as even a slight texture in the surface is enough to make this thing fall off. It really only works on flat, shiny surfaces and even refused to stick to our fake stone bathroom tiles. The things is does stick to though, it really stays attached to, so if you’ve got a convenient shiny surface like a vertical wall mirror then your good.

The thrusting motion is excellent, and though the slowest speed did stall at times, this toy came within a hairs breadth of making me orgasm from vaginal penetration alone (Something I’ve never managed before and to be honest, was starting to believe wasn’t even possible for me). The two faster speed are seriously nice and the thrusting patterns surprisingly good. Several of them deserve special mention, but the one i thought of as “slow sex” (a series well spaced thrusts) was just perfect for a slow build. Overall, they give you a great variety of options and though they weren’t all for me, i can definitely see there being something for everyone.

The vibrations aren’t particularly rumbly or strong, but they’re not buzzy either and travel up the dildos very well meaning you can really feel them over a large area. The first two speeds where pretty underwhelming, but the third was bliss. I could have happily left it on that if the patterns hadn’t been so good. The first two, both unusual dot dot dash types i haven’t encountered before, where especially good and complimented the thrusting fantastically. Overall there was a nice variety, including revving ones and some faster patterns too.
I also liked the warming feature and found it very easy and pleasant to use and will definitely flick it on again.

Volume wise the vibrations are surprisingly quiet, but the thrusting action isn’t and can easily be heard through a door. It Was however pretty easily covered up with some music.

The dildos are so silky and great quality. They’re a nice firmness having a slight give. i especially liked the texture and pronounced head on the skintone one, though it does make it less realistic it felt brilliant when in use. I found them both very good g spotters, though i did struggle with the purple dildo as it caused the toy to flip round unless suction cupped in place.
Despite the base not being water proof, they where also reasonably easy to clean, though the texture on the skin toned one did require a bit more attention.

The remote has a decent range (it even worked through a closed door) And due to its shape meant even with your eyes closed you can always tell which way up it was, making the buttons very hard to mix up. It was easy to use and made flicking the thrusting and vibration settings around a doddle. I can also imagine this feature being alot of fun with a partner and its ideal if you want to use another toy or a pair of cuffs at the same time.

To my great disappointment i couldn’t get it to work with cowgirl due to its height, But it does work well with any horizontal position or at an angle. its easy to adjust its angle whilst still attached to a surface (make sure to do the screw up tight though) and As long as you can manage to find something to suction cup it too, i can see it being very versatile.
I did try this toy hand held, and though its shape makes it easy enough to hold one handed and the buttons are simple to find and easy to identify, it really works best attached to a stationary object. You can jam it up against pillows though (as i did due to lack of a convenient mirror) and that does work reasonably well.

This is a bit of a pain to clean, as its not even splash proof and has many crevices that can be hard to get into. The majority of the body (and most of the surfaces you will handle while using) are easily wiped down, but the screw indents, the indent around the control panel and inside where the dildo fits are definitely places that need extra attention.

I really enjoyed this toy, at the same time i found it slightly frustrating to use, due mostly to my lack of convenient shiny surfaces. But if you have a wall mirror, shiny bathroom tiles or convenient fridge door then its alot of fun. Although its a bit fiddly to clean its got a lot going for it and is a nice way to own a sex machine without needing a lot of discreet storage or floor space. definitely something id set aside me time to use in the future.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
(to be fair, i wanted to give this more but the suction cup is kind of critical and i couldn’t get the blasted thing to work on anything i could use it attached to)

Pros: Excellent thrusting motion and vibrations, especially patterns. Quality dildos. Felt amazing to use

Cons: Picky suction cup, fiddly to clean and rather noisy

Bottom Line: Suction cup Needs a shiny flat surface. Otherwise a lot of fun to use and very versatile.

[PoolBoy]

The Satisfyer Endless Fun Rechargeable Couples Vibrator

I was recommended this by the lovely peeps in the community as an alternative type of toy to compliment our current collection.

So its unconventional in its design, I wasn’t entirely sure how best to use it at first and isn’t necessarily the cheapest of toys. Upon opening you immediately see that its a well made toy, it has a nice premium feel to it, the texture is smooth and delicate and it has a nice reassuring weight to it. Charging is easy with magnetic magnetic USB cable - takes around 3 hours and gives a decent playtime - around 1:15 minutes on a full charge with pretty much constant use.

It has 3 motors, one in each ‘hook’ and one along the shaft that can be controlled independently by relatively simple button controls. The shaft is a nice size in both length and girth and it has the benefit that you can also rotate the ‘hook’ part by 180 degrees. We found that the vibrations are of the low and rumbly type rather than the zippy pitch of our bullets.

I have seen other reviews liken this to the ‘Swiss Army Knife’ of sex toys. Personally I don’t share that view and I think its a unfair comparison. This toy will not compare well against a rabbit design, or a bullet, or a prostate massager or even s traditional vibe. If your looking for a quick O your trusty go-to toy will deliver the better orgasm for you.

But that is where this toy is genius !! I find that toys often dictate the type of play a little too much. They are designed to go into or onto a particular sweet spot and deliver a great sensation. That’s fine, however, sometimes its nicer to have a spontaneous play and let your mood and the tempo of the evening decide what happens next. With the versatility of the one it can be Incorporated in to pretty much what ever takes your fancy, adding to the arousal rather than dictating it.

In short - we loved this toy, its not one for every session and probably not one for solo play. But for couples play it does exactly what it says on the tin - Endless fun, delivers please to both genders and only limited by your imagination. A great recommendation and one that will be saved for more special occasions I think. A great one to add to your collection
PB

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

Lovehoney plus size smoothing sleeveless crotchless bodyt

Floral fancy

I really liked this little number. The fabric is soft and surprisingly stretchy all the way through both the lace and solid black sections. It was nice and easy to put on, though i did have to wriggle it over my hips a bit, but went on quickly and was very comfortable to wear.

I loved the floral decoration on the fabric, which reminds me of peonies, and looks very classy in person. The smoothing aspect worked well without being uncomfortable and it definitely flowed over my pudgy bits nicely. I personally found this worked best through my tummy and sides. my bum also looks amazing in it though and the lace detail on the back and hips was just gorgeous, fit well and flattered my curves nicely.

Admittedly as Im a 16 on top, 20 on bottom, with a 40 B cup It did take a little fiddling to get the looser top of the back to sit right. But since I’m a size down on the top i thought it was a very good fit all things considered and still looked very nice on.
I found the cups a bit gappy, though as the materials so stretchy it ruched nicely instead of gaping so didnt detract from the look fo the piece for me and just looked a design feature. But its definitely not snug through the breasts if you have a smaller cup size.

Theres also a line of grippy material (like you find of strapless bras) running under the bust and round the back, so its pretty easy to adjust it without having to worry it will slip down again. This want off putting though and i found you couldn’t feel it once you had the body on.

The main panel it opaque, which i liked as it means (due to it also being crotchless) if I’m having a self conscious day about my stretch marks, i don’t have to take it off to have fun.

Definitely a nice no fuss number i will throw on again when i want do some sexy stuff without having to worry how my tummy looks. Comfortable and very sexy, especially from the back.

my review isnt up yet, so cant remember what staars i gave it

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

lovehoney plus size hourglass smoothing cup less crotchless body

All strapped in

Despite the fact it took me several goes to put it on first time without tangling my feet in the straps, i did like this little black number. Though the strap design isn’t entirely to my taste it was very pretty on and flattering to all my curves.

this piece fit very well, especially considering I’m a 16 on top 18/20 on the bottom with a B cup, And the fabric was lovely and soft. I especially loved the flower pattern on the fabric. The empire line decoration is very pretty and the lace Is used really well over my bum and hips, making them both look amazing. As nice as the front is, this piece is a real knockout from behind.

The fabric is stretchy throughout the whole piece (including the lace) and the smoothing feature seems to work well without being uncomfortable and skimmed over my pudgy bits nicely. I personally found this worked best for me through my tummy and sides, and it fit and flattered all my curves very nicely.

The body has a line of gummy material, similar to a strapless bra, running underneath the bust and around the back which allows you to adjust it without worrying it will slip back down. It felt a tad odd to put on but Once on i couldn’t feel it.

Instead of the usual inverted v design, the straps are actually in 3 parts with one running from the middle over each arm and the the last round the neck from the outside edges like a halterneck. Though i wasnt sold on this look personally, it does make them easy to put on (as long as you dont get your feet through them of course) and allows for alot of flexibility no matter what your cup size is as all the straps are adjustable. They even fit my wide shoulders comfortably.

I also really liked that the main section is opaque, which as its crotchless, means that if i have a self conscious day i can still have fun without taking it off.

A nice piece and easy to slip on with minimal fuss. Though the straps weren’t to my
Taste i liked the overall design and thought it was very flattering and effective.

review not up yet, cant remember how many stars i gave it

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Ian_Chimp, 02 Aug 2021
Wellness G-Wave Rechargeable G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator

Great First Contact

This is an incredibly interesting looking toy. I think it looks really fun and funky, especially with the purple shade they’ve used for the silicone. However… Mrs Chimp thinks that it looks ugly, and it reminds her of a tentacle monster (I quote: “It’s ugly, not sexy looking. How it looks really puts me off. I’d prefer it if it looked sleeker, and less like a tentacle monster”). Nevertheless, she bravely gave it a go anyway…

After that less than complimentary intro I’m going to dive straight in with the positives, as Mrs Chimp also thinks that it’s one of the best fitting toys she’s ever tried. Go figure.

In our experience there are two ends to the ‘Good Rabbit Continuum’: on the one end you have the ‘perfect fit, leave it in place, hands-free’ ones (the Rabbit holy grail) and on the other the ‘nimble, hits all the spots if I move it around’ variety. Both can be good, but one is more work than the other. This one fit Mrs Chimp really well, and only had to be held lightly in place to hit all the right spots (so not quite hands-free, but pretty close). It’s really flexible, and the contact points on both arms are very generous, so I think it has quite a versatile fit. The raised nubbin that goes halfway up the clit arm helped with position for Mrs Chimp, though it’s also a useable part of the arm, so for other anatomies it may prove to be a much more crucial element.

Apart from the firmer nubbin, the arms themselves have a nice, slightly cushioned feel, and the fork didn’t pinch at all. The flexibility of the arms also made adjustments very easy, without the normal thumb strain you can get from more rigid models.

It’s really easy to use, with only the two +/- buttons to work your way through the 3 speeds and 4 patterns, and it has some really good rumbles to it and a nice burst of power. The vibrations travel well through the length of both arms, so there’s no shortage of stimulation points you can use. It has the standard constants and patterns, so nothing new there, but they drill down to a deep ‘wokka-chokka’ that Mrs Chimp really enjoys. It’s also really quiet, which is always a winner. It does feel a little heavy, but not enough to make it uncomfortable. The weight is concentrated in the middle, so it’s quite nicely balanced (not that Mrs Chimp moved it around that much).

The housekeeping:

• It’s easy to clean, as the flexibility let’s you get into all the nooks.
• The magnetic charger worked well, and stayed in place.
• 1½ hour charge for about 1 hour play (which seemed about right in use)
• It didn’t come with a storage bag, which is always a shame.

I’ll end on another Mrs Chimp quote to sum it up:

“Works well, great fit, love the colour, love the rumbles - but I can’t get over how weird it looks. It really put me off. I think it’s because it looks a bit alien.”

Edited to add: After about 3 weeks she’s started to think of it as just another vibrator, and not as if she’s getting fingered by a swamp monster. Result.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: How well the shape works

Cons: How weird the shape looks

Bottom Line: Weird shape, great sensations

[Peitho]

by @Peitho , 21st July 2021
Lovehoney Swell Yeah Auto Suction Nipple Pumps

A Bite, a Suck and a Unique Sensation

I have a lot of nipple clamps of varying strengths and a fair few nipple suckers/pumps but these are my first powered, pattern, pumping ones.

The packaging is a simple box with all the getting started instructions printed on the outside in a simple list (…though I think one of them is wrong, more about that later.) All the essentials are easy to understand and follow though. Inside you get your new toy and a magnetic charging cable in a separate resealable bag which is a nice touch. You also get a leaflet which is 95% totally irrelevent entitled “External Penile Rigidity Devices” which is a bit bizarre.

Charging is easy, it is not the most secure magnetic charger I have but positioned carefully and not knocked it works fine. All the three button lights flash while the pump charges and light solidly once fully charged.

Now in use… It says to apply a little lube, I found I didn’t need any and in fact the seal was better and more secure without and it is a very good seal. Yes, you can knock them off but for general moving about they’re not going anywhere so good marks there. It is easiest to turn the pump on before attaching them so you get a firm seal straight away. Size wise my nipples didn’t fill the cups but I do only have very petite nipples and if you have large nipples you might not find the cups quite big enough. Once removed my nipples were well pumped though and the areola much darker which is a look I liked.

There are a good range of patterns, short fiercer pumps or slower sucks and they feel surprisingly great like nibbling bites and sucks rather than a constant pumped sensation or the vibrations you can get from vibrating clamps. These feel so much better and are a great turn on. Personally I like the varying rhythms of sharper pumps. I do wish that there was a way to up the strength though as I would like them to be a bit stronger with more of a bite but that is just personal preference.

And before you ask… Of course I have tried one of these on my clit too! It creates a good seal and the sensation is sublime. It doesn’t feel as intense as a suction toy like a womanizer but it’s a different sensation, more of a throbbing and sucking and the strength here is good for me. Easily stays in place in combination with a dildo or vibrator too so it’s very versatile though you do have to connect the 2nd cup somewhere nearby as you can’t get a vacuum seal without both cups attached. Once removed both my nipples and my clit are well pumped and sensitive for whatever comes next.

My favourite thing with these was when I teamed them on my nipples with my Womanizer X Lovehoney InsideOut downstairs… yes, it sounded like a building site had set up work in the bedroom as neither are quiet toys but the sensory sensation was sublime. A superb combination I can’t recommend highly enough if volume is not a concern for you.

The only oddity I found was that the box states you can take the silicone tube out of the pump unit and the pumps should maintain the pressure until you press the release valve. I don’t think this is true or at least I certainly couldn’t work out how to do it. You can take the tube out but immediately all pressure is lost, there is no release valve. Still a useful feature for effective cleaning as the silicone tube and cups can then be thoroughly washed but not useful for the purpose described.

Overall, these are a great addition to playtime both solo and with a partner, they provide a wonderful sensation, teasing and turn on they are the most fun nipple pumps I own because of the unique sensation. If you could keep the patterns exactly as they are but be able to turn up the strength of the vacuum pump these would be perfect for me.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Not showing for some reason and I can’t remember what I wrote

Cons:

Bottom Line:

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

lovehoney plus size hourglass smoothing cup less crotchless body

Forget turtle doves, this is what The 12 days of Christmas should be about.

Apart from two AAA batteries and some lube, everything you could want to have many fun times is in this box and it certainly gives you a taste of all sorts of fun things.
Cant recommend the majority of the toys in here enough and even the ones that weren’t my favourites i had a great time with. Everything works well together and the items are ordered to build on each other, presenting new surprises and additions, which i really enjoyed. It was all high quality and nicely finished as well as fun to use, and I think this set would be alot of fun both solo or with a partner.

Beautifully presented in a purple and gold box, that matches the colour theme for the items, This is without doubt the best advent calendar I’ve ever had and certainly beats chocolate any day of the week. I loved all the different surprises behind the doors and think this would make a great present in its own right.

*****Spoilers past this point. *****

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Rechargeable bullet vibe
This bullet really endeared itself to me. Its a gorgeous shiny purple, pretty Strong and though not incredibly rumbly, is not buzzy either so worked well for me. Its size makes it a perfect travel companion though people with big fingers may struggle to hold it without one of the sleeves. It did mean you could feel the strongest steady speeds in your fingers, but i am actually quite impressed it wasn’t worse due to it being about the length of my thumb and it wasn’t bad enough for me to find it overly distracting.

The patterns where on the whole, nothing to write home about. The usual selection of on/off and morse code types, though i did find several i liked including a very fast revving one that hit the spot nicely.

Volume wise, despite its strength its pretty quiet while in the hand, and cant be heard through my door at all.

The one down side was the fact you have to hold the on button down till it flashes then press it again to turn the vibe on. This is probably some sort of travel lock, but it can be a slight nuisance if you cant see you hand or want to turn the bullet on and off to reduce the speed.

On the whole though, Its definitely a bullet i really enjoyed and would use again.

blindfold
A very pretty shade of purple to match the rest of the set and very soft fabric, especially the velvety lining. It Blocks out the light reasonably well with just a hint leaking in round my nose and fit snugly and securely. Alot of fun to play with and definitely heightens the sensations.

crystal butt plug
This plug is a good size for a beginner and though it doesn’t have the weight of some metal plugs felt great when in. It looked so pretty when in place, with a nice shine to the gem and I can see this looking fantastic with some lingerie. The Tapered Shape also made it easy to insert and it stayed in well once inserted.
I did find the edge of the base rubbed slightly after a while, so not one for extended wear but a pretty bit of bling that definitely felt nice in use.

pleasure cards
I liked these, they where fun and though some where reasonably strait forward suggestions i think the majority of people will find something they want to try. Especially good if your stuck in a rut and i can see myself blind picking one of these to mix things up. You could also probably come up with some interesting games with these.
Quite a few also involved the toys in the calendar (like mixing certain toys together) so if you need inspiration they can be good. I Did wish there where a few more inventive ones though, as i liked the toy suggestions least, but otherwise a fun added extra.

kegel balls
Though you can remove one of the balls to reduce the weight, they fit snugly into the silicone outer and do stay in place well. They’re a good beginner weight, but i personally found them a little on the small side and did struggle to keep them in. If you’ve got decent kegel muscles though they would probably not be an issue. They felt nice and solid though and are definitely a nice added extra to use as a warm up.

vibrating anal beads
I loved these things. They where easy to insert, easy to clean and felt great when in with or without the vibration. The bullet stayed in the loop very firmly (i actually struggled slightly to remove it) so they felt very secure. I wouldn’t recommend using them without the bullet in unless your going to keep your finger through the loop constantly, as it was quite soft without something in it. They felt amazing though popping in and out and where nice and firm. Turning on the vibrations was the highlight though. Wow, so good. All the great qualities of the bullet over a larger area and some of the patterns where just brilliant with this toy.

nipple clamps
Found these a bit hard to tighten first time, but they feel great when adjusted and are good for everything from a gentle squeeze to a firm pinch. the rubber is nice and grippy so they stayed on well when tugged, even when not done up really tightly. the colour and heart charms are also very pretty when on.
Nice for a bit of a twist, fun for all experience levels, especially for beginners and a good addition to my bedside cupboard.

finger vibe sleeve
Nice fun addition to the bullet. The loop in a bit snug and if you have big fingers you may have to really wriggle it on. But i did get it over my thumb, so it is reasonably stretchy with some persuasion. I personally found the vibrations in my finger tip a little distracting, but they still felt good and its a nice toy, especially with a partner.

g-spot dildo
This wasn’t a bad dildo. The silicone is soft and it feels nice when in, but i personally found it a bit small, short and it didn’t really hit my g spot. But if your new to toys, or like something slimmer, i can see this being fun. The bullets vibrations travel really well up the dildo, though getting it out again can be a bit of a struggle (so definitely lube the bullet up a little as it makes retrieving it alot easier).

If you like you dildos anally though, this is a nice choice as its smooth and has a flared base. Its a bit big for a first anal dildo, but the inclusion on the vibrations is nice.

I also found The Suction cup a little iffy and it definitely prefers shiny surfaces. but the dildos short length means its not the best choice for riding anyway and works best when thrust with a hand. Theres also no way to use the suction cup when the bullet is in, as it sticks out slightly.

Personally this one wasn’t for me, but it doesn’t detract from the rest of the set.

mint orgasm balm
Not particularly strong as orgasm balms go, but it gave a nice tingle and definitely made me more sensitive. When applied to my nipples it made them hard almost strait away and had a very pleasing smell. Most importantly, it didn’t set my sensitive skin off. Theres not a massive amount in the pot, but you really don’t need a lot of it, so it should go along way. A nice added extra.

mini wand
Strong but not as strong as he bullet and a bit buzzier especially the highest setting. Not uncomfortably so though and i found it very nice to use (especially on the nipples) though i personally struggled to come with it due to the frequency. A little fiddly to clean but Good as a tease or warm up toy.

womanizer starlette 2
I love this thing. The settings are excellent and go all the way from a good tease to one that made me come quickly with no say in the matter. Some of the intensities had quite big jumps in between then, especially the first and second, but i enjoyed them all. The toy fits well in the hand and I even managed to use it hands free, as the shape is perfect for clamping your thighs around (just try not to grind too much as it did knock the nozzle out of place).

Suction toys aren’t the quietist toys out there, but under the covers or when against the skin this was definitely quiet enough for a shared house.

Control wise, you do have to hold the on button for a while before it turns on, but once its on you can flick up and down the intensities easily, and it switches off nice and fast. Both the buttons are also different sizes so easy enough to identify.

There aren’t any patterns, but what it does have is excellent and definitely enough for me to use it again and again. The only downside is the finickity charging cable, which is quite easy to knock off. But for the intense orgasms this gives me, i’ll happily put up with it any day of the week.

[Peitho]

by @Peitho , 9th October 2020
Aqua Pleasure Rechargeable Water Clitoral Stimulator

Supreme Surging Stream

Well now… this is certainly a new experience and one I will be repeating again and again and again!

The Aqua Pleasure comes in a very attractive and sophisticated box that would make it a beautiful present. It has a brief but complete manual with everything you need to know from charging and operating instructions through a description of the different intensities and patterns and onto full care and maintenance. A pretty gold storage bag is supplied (though I will be keeping it in the box) along with a charger with a magnetic charging mechanism.

The charger supplied comes with a type I Australian plug but Lovehoney also supplied a free UK Universal adaptor block which works brilliantly and it charges easily through this though did in fact arrive fairly fully charged anyway, which was a bonus. Connect the magnetic connector to charge and it’s light starts flashing red, when fully charged this changed to a constant green. The magnetic connector to the toy was a bit sensitive and I had to position the Aqua Pleasure on it’s side to achieve a good constant connection and still see the light. It is possible in future the plug may be changed to a USB or UK plug if given the go ahead?

The Aqua Pleasure does not look like your typical sex toy. You could leave it out and I don’t think anyone just glancing around your bathroom would know what it was. It certainly doesn’t scream sex toy. The darker handle is rubber for a good grip, the main body is hard plastic but since it’s the water you’re in contact with and obtaining all the pleasure from and not inserting any part of it then this works perfectly. Out of the water there is also a fair weight to it but obviously submerged you don’t notice this. There is a single button that you press and hold to turn on and off or press and release to cycle through the intensities and patterns once on. When on there is a green light displayed below the button.

When I first switched it on I think I was expecting something like when you’re a teenager and first experiment with the shower head attached to the bath taps. This is not like that, it is so much more intense, the pressure it builds up to is high and beautifully focused.

Used on it’s own, the Aqua Pleasure is a very effective and very pleasurable. The patterns don’t do a lot for me personally but medium constant intensity then ramped up to high intensity to finish is a win. Used in combination with a waterproof G-spot vibrator this left me a very happy, sweaty mess! Devine.

If you start the motor out of the water, once you submerge it, it will take 5 seconds or so to build up the pressure enough to jettison water however if you switch it off submerged then as soon as you turn it back on it is fully powered.

The only negative with this toy is the noise, it is loud. For me, fortunately, this is not a problem as it is only myself and the OH in the house and I’m free to make as much noise as I want but if you have kids, parents or housemates living with you you may like to get them used to the fact you like loud music playing when you have your baths before the need arises to drown out the noise of the Aqua Pleasure.

Honestly, I can’t recommend this enough. I have always been a fan of a long, hot bath and now they’re even better.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: A lot, new and really great sensation

Cons: Rather loud, magnetic charger connection could be more secure

Bottom Line: Love this, novel and very effective, I definitely recommend it

[Blonde_Bunny]

Free Tester Toy


by @Blonde_Bunny, 6th September 2021

The Realm Lycan Werewolf Silicone Dildo 8 Inch

The Big Bad Wolf

Fear suffused passion, the thrill inside danger, the desire to be hunted, to be caught, to be taken. It’s a secret salacious thirst I know many of us have - me so more than most. With my insidious sexual fantasies of masculine monsters, bulging beasts, demons and dragons - the savager the better - and my love of extremely filling dildos, I’m forever looking for a formidable new sex toy for hair-raising personal pleasure, a combination of neither man nor beast, and finally for us fantasy freaks, Lovehoney now sell something that begins to satiate that need.

My eyes truly fell from my face when I saw this lurking from the shadows of the Lovehoney website, leaving me filled to my core with insatiable lust and fear to experience this man-wolf humanoid hybrid inside of me. All dogs will chase a pussy, and it seemed this wolf might have a bone to pick with me.

The packaging of this toy is breathtaking. A chilling crossbreed of medieval masochism with dark cartoonish characteristics, it really does awaken and arouse the role playing cosplay girl inside me. The tease and taunt of the clear front window, combined with the clever design to pull the small tab on the side to open it like a drawer, is brilliant. Although this boxing really does gift you the feelings of quality craftsmanship, luxury and excitement, I honestly challenge you to not just simply shred and ravage this packaging like a raging beastly animal to eagerly grab the rewards that are within.

Unleash the beast.

I will never forget my first impressions of this toy, Woah… This cock, is HUGE. Sometimes, a devilishly daunting and intimidating toy with a promise of splitting me in two is exactly what I need.

Never have I stared, slack jawed and dribbling, upon a dildo as exquisitely stunning, staggeringly endearing, and in equal measure, as bone-quiveringly terrifying. I think I’m in love. I could honestly feel myself salivating - from more than just the lips upon my face - just looking at the fiendish appearance of this beast. Then when I felt its weight in my tiny trembling hands taking it from the packet, I honestly couldn’t wait for it to mount me.

Unlike Little Red Riding Hood, I knew this wasn’t Granny in my bed, but I jumped in anyway…

By my quite educated judgment I’d say the Lycan has a medium-firm density. It has a satisfying amount of squish, but still plenty firm enough to not flop over, even in heavy, hard use. The surface of this dildoic masterpiece is utterly irresistible. The webbing of sinuous veins like osseous tendons truly gives the sensation of real skin covering resiliently strong muscle. It’s a little softer than most of my other silicone toys, and really delightful to hold, smother in lube, and run your hands all over – which you’ll do a lot, I expect, and just sit there drooling at the prospect of taking it all.

How big is this monstrosity exactly? Well, by my own measurements it’s actually just over 10.5”s in overall length, with a maximum insertable length of slightly under 8”s. IF you make it that far. The maximum circumference of the insertable area is an eye-popping - and quite challenging - 6.25”s of girth and this is around the extremely pronounced coronal ridge collar of the head. This terrifying girth stays pretty much the same down the entire shaft to the beginning of the base.

The bottom of the dildo is flat. It’s not a suction base, it’s just clean cut flat. This of course helps it stand upright to store, or for putting on a surface and lowering yourself on to. Normally I’d only choose a dildo with a suction cup, but the size and weight alone of this dick (it’s almost 1 kilo!) means there’s really no need for a suction cup at all, even when bouncing on it. It does however have a Vac-U-Lock cavity to add one or to use the dildo as an attachment on a fucking machine.

I knew I’d need to be extremely relaxed and excessively aroused in order to allow this monster to mate me - and have an ample amount of lube and possibly a telephone available nearby - so I started the session by reading a tale of fantasy filth erotica, popping in my fur foxtail butt plug and began some heavy clitoral petting, but held off from an orgasm deliberately. Once I’d edged myself to a point where I just desperately needed to shove it inside me, I knew it was time. I applied plenty of lube all over the dildo – I honestly didn’t need any between my legs - and began screwing myself with the Lycan.

It, Is, Enormous. With each inch I could feel every single veiny sinew and bulge stretch further my already strained self. My poor taught skin screaming and crying wolf with paralysing pleasure entwined by sensations of mildest pain. This monster is everything I could want in terms of a fantasy beast filling of both theatre and thickness. That combined with the extreme taboo element of being forcefully fucked by a furiously furry freak only adds to the intense eroticism.

I could just about insert it up to the base, but that was really pushing it hard with it absolutely rammed right in and up against my cervix at that point - eye rolling , pass-out pleasure. Then with the addition of intense vibrations of my wand against my clit, it didn’t take me long to tip over the knife-edge and free-fall into a glorious succession of multiple climax’s while dreaming of heavy paws and a savage toothed maw.

After orgasming all over this Wolf, the dildo had become incredibly messy, what with the combination of my own cum juices and the amount of lube I tend to use. Thankfully, the toy is extremely easy to clean up. Made solely of silicone and devoid of any electronics or batteries, the dildo can be easily rejuvenated with a little soap and warm water, sanitising sex toy wipes, and actually even in the dishwasher - we’ve all done it.

Being the greedy girl that I am - and an obsessive of anal play and double penetration - I’ve also tried this dick for anal. I must say though, this really is a big beast and no way in hell could I go straight in to this. The head is quite a blunt shape, so even after wearing a butt plug for most of the day and then playing with smaller dildos first, it does require a bucket of lube and a lot of time for initial penetration, but my god, as soon as that defined, almost barbed style demonic head pops in, this wolf almost feels tied inside of you, sensationally and relentlessly knotted within you like a butt plug. The shaft has no real taper or graduating thickness meaning once past the head, I can satisfyingly take the entire length of this dick to its furry balls base.

In summery, If you’re anything like me and into alternative scenes, fantasy phallic monster fucking or just love things that are a little bit (ok a lot) different, the Lycan will slide right up your street. Although I do enjoy dildos on the large side regularly, this huge wolf cock certainly isn’t for quickies and it won’t be the dick I reach for every day - even my holes wouldn’t take that kind of regular abuse. But for a once-a-week special bit of fun? A Sunday roast, as it were? Hell yes. It’s such a shame it doesn’t have an oversized, overwhelming swollen knot on the lower shaft towards the base like some other fantasy style dildos - if it did I think I’d die - but it’s still utterly phenomenal.

This dildo may be the Wolf and perhaps I the Little Piggy, but it will be me who will huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow my load now.

I can only hope, pray and dream that Lovehoney begin to stock and sell more dildos and toys of these frighteningly filling fantasy styles and designs for this surprisingly not so niche kink that many of us have.

Overall Rating: 5/5 ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pros: This girthy beast of a creature with it’s dense, matte texture, will have you screaming and crying wolf.

Cons: I’m being a little picky, but I’d love this doggy style demon to have a bulging knotted shaft.

Bottom Line: This fiendish phallus is the perfect combination of thrill and terror for a fearful and filling fuck.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster, 19/06/21
Le Wand Hoop G-spot Double Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

The Steel Appeal

What a steal of steel! Thanks Lovehoney for sending me this to review.

The Le Wand brand continues to impress me with its product presentations. This is probably the nicest toy package I’ve ever received. I thought Lovehoney sent me some sort of royal family heirloom at first in error. The marbled pattern box will definitely be kept or re-used as it’s simply too nice to throw away. I had to rub my eyes in disbelief because it comes with a padded bag to avoid clanging while being stored and a branded cloth to buff it back to beautiful. Ooooh - I feel spoilt. There’s an informative booklet instead of your run of the mill instructions. It includes things like how get the best out of it, care tips and basically a catalogue of their other products. I thought this was clever like the company is saying, “Hey, you impressed? This is just a taster. Here’s the rest of our tempting wares”. I’m already eyeing up their pretty rechargeable wands…

This is super heavy! It honestly feels like a weapon I could go hunting mammoths with. Gravity is your friend here during use. It’s like it’s always pulling down and making it feel bigger than it actually is. An illusion of girth, some might say. This makes experimenting with angles fun to get it to put pressure on different areas. It feels like you’re not 100% in charge of the thrusts as the weight adds extra momentum to them. More of a general thud sensation than anything.

Get your towels ready because the shape and weight make it the perfect squirting tool with some basic rocking motion. Barely took any time or effort to get there, too. It almost feels too good if there’s such a thing? I also enjoyed popping the thick end in and out of my opening as it felt extra thuddy there. Blended orgasms came aplenty with a clit vibe, too. The ball on the smaller tail end helps with grip and can hook onto your hand like a sloth’s claw. This comes in handy when it’s wet as you definitely don’t want to drop this thing! I’ve accidentally tapped it against my ceramic sink once or twice with a scary clang. I have no doubt it could crack it with a bad hit so be very careful! No one wants broken sinks, floors or toes.

It’s probably just my preference for girth, but I hardly ever used the smaller end. While I could still hit my G-spot, it felt more unbalanced in comparison to the thick end. Like I was holding it upside down. Meh. I’m happy just to keep that side as the handle. The thick head feels like the perfect size and shape for the job. It’s not too big or angular to be intimating and hits the G-spot/opening just right. As the thing you’re going to feel the most, I think Le Wand nailed the design.

The steely smoothness feels so nice and you hardly need any lube. I just prefer to use my own. It also makes it a quick job to clean. Some positions or moving around during use can feel a bit uncomfortable due to the curve and rigidness. Or even like it’s “hooking” me at times? The easiest position was laying flat on my back or leaning back as it gave more control over the thrusting and ensured focus to the right areas. It’s a toy that you have to be cautious with since it can easily throw its weight around with little effort. The shaft can also rub against your clit if you angle it right. However, I don’t like rigid stuff on my clit so the further away the better for me. You can basically use any clit vibe you want since the shape allows it duck under them without clashing together.

While I’m not generally a fan of chilled toys, I found the cooler room temperature dildo a welcome relief with all this warm weather we’re having. Still not internally for me as the cold makes my clam clamp shut. Felt great resting on my thighs and stomach while I waited for it warm up enough to gain an entry permit. When I want to speed up the process, I can just leave it in a sink of warm water. It was ready by the time I set up my bed and towel. I love the way it quickly warms to match my body heat during use. Great fun if you enjoy temperature play.

Overall, it’s hard to fault something with this level of standards. It may be quite expensive, but at least it shows unlike some brands. And on top of all this, it’s very fun to use. A champ in G-spot stimulation, temperature play and all round steeliness. Just please be cautious with all that weight and rigidness to avoid damage to yourself or your fixtures and fittings.

Overall Rating: 5/5

Pros: Presentation. Temperature play. Great G-spotter. Easy to clean. Padded storage bag. Cloth.

Cons: Have to be cautious with all that weight.

Bottom Line: Would make a quality gift for yourself or others. A great example to show off the appeal of steel.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster, 28/07/21
Lovehoney Sensual Glass Curved Beaded Dildo

Seahorse

Thank you Lovehoney for sending me this sensual sea critter to review.

Can’t say I have many toys that can stare back at me. What beady little eyes you have, Mr Seahorse! I wonder if the face was intentional? The small bumps aren’t exactly centered, but you can barely tell during use. Green and orange for them is an interesting choice of colours - pretty Halloweeny if you ask me. It also comes with its own storage bag which is always convenient.

The loop handle helps with grip - especially when wet. It’s not really big enough to get my fingers through all the way without worrying about getting them back, though. Still irresistible to try a gunslinger style spin. I don’t think the handle is the best during use. Kind of awkward when passed to my left while holding a clit vibe in my right as I usually do. Like I had to stretch enough to be able to grab it and even then it didn’t feel quite right. I couldn’t get a confident thruster hold on the thing, put it that way.

The horned face clashed easily with vibes. Anything rigid usually meant a pinchin’ was expected. Like the seahorse was trying to head butt them away. The most comfortable thing to use was my TC squishy wand (but that tends to go with anything, anyway). Funnily enough, my favourite way to use it was with no clit vibe while laying on my front. I would lay my palm flat on my mound with the seahorse’s head facing up between my fingers. This allowed my hand to stimulate the clit while my fingers kicked in the horsepower to thrust the dildo. I could mirror this laying on my back too, but still preferred my front.

The shape of the dildo may certainly be interesting, but I found the pleasurable positions to be limited. I didn’t enjoy the sensation when it was facing my back - like putting a key in the wrong hole. There was some pleasure in it facing the inner thighs as you could play around with angles. However, having it facing forward seemed to fit just right. When it was inserted past the last bead, it definitely hit the all the right spots. The sweetest of sweet spots! Felt great on my opening and inside which made up for the lack of girth somewhat. As already mentioned, this horsey doesn’t play too well with clit vibes when facing them. Must want me all to itself! But I don’t like it the other ways as much, so that’s why I said my ways of use are limited.

The beads offer some stimulation and make fun sounds when thrusting. There isn’t much girth to get here, which is a shame. The glass material barely needs any lube as it glides effortlessly with so little. Sadly, once it gets wet ‘n’ wild enough, I started to notice the beads a lot less. It’s more the rigidity and shape doing most of the work. Maybe it’s more suited for those who like slim rigid toys? Or maybe it’s a better anal toy than a vaginal one? I didn’t find that the handle bumps added much to the experience as I was at my length limit by the time my clit got anywhere near them.

Glass toys have the added ability of temperature play if that’s your thing. It warmed up nicely just placing it on/around myself while getting comfortable in bed. It also means it can be used with any lube and be sterilised for a thorough clean. Mine was fine with toy spray and water. Pretty straight forward to clean except for the strange neck creases at the back. I’m not sure what the purpose of these are. I just know they add an extra step of bringing the cleaning brush out. Maybe they’re gills or something?

While I enjoy glass toys, this one isn’t my favourite. It’s great in one particular position, but everything else is pretty “meh”. Like a novelty toy with style over usability. I guess less is more with this one? Can’t deny its cute charm and aquatic allure, though.

Overall Rating: 4/5

Pros: Own bag. Cute. Great when in right spot. Don’t need much lube. Temperature play.

Cons: Limited positions. Head butts vibes. Lack of girth. Can be awkward to hold.

Bottom Line: Not the best glass dildo, but still has some fun quirks. Around a 3.5 in total, I’d say.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 05/06/2021
G World Embroidered Bra Set with Suspender Belt and Stockings

Not As Sweet As A Chocolate Orange

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this interesting set to review.

I absolutely love the colouring. Reminds me of Terry’s chocolate orange packaging… Mmm. I like the way it complements my pale skin, too. You’ll probably have to spend a few minutes cutting all the white tags off first as they’re easy to see against the dark material.

The bra is more of a bikini top with a front tie and halter neck - so technically 2 pieces. You can avoid some fiddling if you tie one of them together before putting it on and doing the second after. The front ribbon is the biggest pain to get right! I always had to get my partner’s help. Neither of us can tie a pretty bow to save our lives, so it didn’t end up like the one in the photo. I trimmed off the excess since it was hanging down to my belly button. It also tends to go off-centred sometimes making the hold slightly asymmetrical. Even with my small handfuls of boobage, this bra just about covers them with no real support. Still pretty cute! Not too small or baggy and I can adjust it in 3 ways if I’m not content. However, I’m not sure how larger breasts would fair with the limited fabric.

The bottom half looks quite daunting as it’s all one piece. When you look down it’s just a cluster of straps, lace and belts. Thank goodness for the reference on the box. Sometimes it just takes a leap of faith. I’m happy that it comes with hip strap adjusters as I can get self conscious about that area. The belly band part arrived on the tightest setting which fitted me fine and meant I didn’t have to mess around with it like that damn bra. Some of the decorative “V” straps between that and the skirt hang loose. This can be improved slightly by attaching and tightening the suspender straps. I’m half tempted to chop 'em off as they’re quite small and probably wouldn’t take away from the piece. The thong can’t be removed it, but you can easily shift it to the side if you want to keep it on during sex. With all this going on, it brings a lot of attention to your hip and waist area. I like the way the skirt flirts around my hips and how the belly belt cinches in.

I’m not a fan of the seams at the top of the stockings as they’re unforgiving on any chub you have there - mainly around my inner thigh. It made me want to hike them up to hide it which doesn’t look quite right as the front suspenders bunch up badly (the back ones were still fine, though). But having them any lower doesn’t fill me with confidence either. They would also roll down often despite being attached to the belt. As the tights are just plain sheer blue, you can see right through them. I thought I should mention this if you preferred to cover things like spots or cellulite since this won’t help. You can always switch them out with your own fave stockings. It still looked ok with a pair of black ones I had. I liked the old fashioned stocking seam that runs up the back of them, at least.

I gotta say, this isn’t the easiest of pieces to get on without assistance. The bra is the main offender here! There’s just so many ties, straps, clips and adjusters. I’m glad I’m not getting timed on it otherwise my score would be embarrassing. You can get the set off without much hassle, though. It helps to keep everything together in a bag for storage and cleaning. I put it in one of those netted bra bags and it all survived the washing machine. Some of the ties came undone or there were little stringy bits, but no major concerns.

I’m 5’1 and a UK size 8 with minimal boobs. Most of it fits comfortably after a few adjustments and help from my partner. The overall quality isn’t bad and you can’t beat that flamboyant colouring which is great as a set. Even though it can be a pain to get right, the outcome is still a nice sight. My partner likes it and doesn’t see the issues I do, but can still understand them. It’s not all a perfect fit and I want to swap or chop half of it out. Maybe different choices of seams and sizing would make it better? I felt confident enough in it, but still had some awkwardness here and there - like I had to keep my eye on it. The fiddliness also doesn’t make me want to grab for it as much as I’d like.

(My photos here)

Overall Rating: 3/5

Pros: Colouring. Adjustable. Eye-catching design around the hips/waist area.

Cons: Stockings. Straps bunch up in places. White tags. Bra is fiddly without help. Needs trimming.

Bottom Line: Lovely colouring, but misses the most marks on harsh stockings and the bra puzzle.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 26/07/2021
Escante Ruffle Tartan Crotchless Knickers

Shortbreaded

Talk about cute, flirty and playful in one package. Oh, and who doesn’t love shortbread? Even though the tartan pattern is only on one side of the skirt, it still shows through underneath somewhat. It has a nice stretchiness to it for added comfort during wear. I’m a UK size 8 and they felt fine on. The material isn’t really something you have to worry about cleaning. Just bang it in the washing with the rest of your smalls.

The crotchless front and black trim makes a full on art display of my vulva which I love! The back end isn’t as alluring since it covers a fair portion on my bum. It looks like I split one of my everyday knickers by squatting too quickly. I suppose this is intended to fit more with the naughty schoolgirl theme, though? Cute from the back and pure X-rated at the front. What an intriguing contrast.

It has more of V shape drop at the front than most of my usual underwear. I preferred lifting the skirt over my hips to avoid any dips where I didn’t want them. It was difficult to get the bum parts even as one side would always gravitate towards my crack. It was like some kind of balancing act. Lifting it up would pull them both in which offered a better view of my backside without hinting that it was crotchless. A nice surprise for the viewer if you turn around and show off that fab full frontal flange.

You can keep it on during sex which is a big win. I enjoyed rolling my hips even more as I rode my partner. The sides didn’t really interfere with the access to the front, but I did notice him tugging the back parts apart during sex. I don’t think you can wear much over them due to the frilly skirt if you wanted to conceal then reveal. Maybe a bigger skirt or dress? I had medium success using my pyjama shorts.

Overall, I find these knickers more cute than hot. I definitely prefer my lace versions, that’s for sure. They didn’t get a huge reaction from my partner (probably because he’s not much into the naughty schoolgirl thing…or shortbread). There’s some bite to them, but not enough to take the whole bawdy biscuit. Still fun to play around with, though.

(My photos here and here)

Overall Rating: 4/5

Pros: Comfortable. Cute. Easy to clean. Front display. Balance of naughty and nice.

Cons: Bum part covers a lot unless pulled up. Gravitates towards crack. Pattern may not be for everyone.

Bottom Line: Nice and fun in their own right. However, we still prefer the lace versions over these.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 16/07/2021
Lovehoney Barely There Blush Pink Babydoll Set

Plain Pretty

Many thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this set to review.

The blush pink colour is just darling and I like the bold contrast with the black bands on the upper half. The silver Lovehoney heart decoration is also a quality touch. The inner parts of the straps at the chest are pretty sharp and itchy. Probably where they have been heat cut? I couldn’t wait to gouge them out with clippers - annoying, but easily fixed. All the black straps are adjustable so you can get the fit just right. I needed some help with the halterneck from my partner to do it properly since I don’t want the boob parts too loose and a cute bow is a must to match the front design. Very comfortable to wear overall.

The material is super light and floaty and the transparency adds to the tease appeal big time - especially my butt! You can make things out but not quite. Like a mirage of nipple or bum. Good for those who feel more comfortable when showing less skin. It’s got you sorted in the boob, belly and bum department. Ideal to tackle the summer heat, too. At 5’1, I felt the length was just right to sheer off my upper thighs. I’m a UK size 8 and the bottom half adds mass to my waist and hips. My partner said it reminds him of those maternity dresses that’s intended to cover the belly. It cinches in right under the bust, not the waist. Kind of like wearing an upside-down cupcake from there. It hides my smaller figure underneath which he thinks is a bit of a shame as he’s into more fitting garments. I can still make out my silhouette which fits the tease theme, though.

The ruffled bra part flatters my small chest with a cheeky peak of the nipples. There seems to be enough room here for larger boobs if you have them. The black band naturally draws the eye up them ways, too. The creases in the bra match the skirty bit which brings the whole piece together.

I understand the space in the back is needed to have the adjuster, but my brain keeps thinking that the design should have stuck to the band all the way around. Not really an issue. That extra bit of skin doesn’t add or take away from the appeal either way. The upper part of the back is displayed exquisitely, though.

The thong is… well, just a thong. While the colour matches the babydoll, there’s not much else to it. Very plain. Something you could mix in with the rest of your everyday underwear collection. It’s still nice and comfortable to wear, regardless. It looks cute under the mesh skirt, but wearing nothing at all is so much hotter! I suppose it just depends what mood you’re in. I think this is one of those sets that can still be enjoyed separately as well as all together.

The mesh material allows it to dry quickly after being in the wash, so you can jump back into it in the evening. I put everything in one of those protective bra bags and it came out fine. The only thing that happened was that the halterneck unknotted. Looks like I’ll need help from my partner to get it right again each time I wear it.

No real big negatives about it, but I think it all comes down to personal taste for us. Yes, it’s cute and flirty. Yes, it’s comfortable to wear. Yes, it’s tease-tacular. However, it probably won’t be our first choice to pull out from the dirty drawer. Like it’s “too nice” for that? Still sexy in its own way, but is more on the plain or good girl side. While it added some extra poof here and there, it wasn’t enough to knock my confidence.

(My photos here)

Overall Rating: 4/5

Pros: Upper half fit. Dries quickly. Sheerness for teasing. Comfortable. Looks great with no thong, too.

Cons: Adds mass from the underbust down. Plain thong. Doesn’t quite have the sex appeal we enjoy.

Bottom Line: Great for teasing and looking pretty, but may not flatter all shapes.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 21/03/2021
Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 9 Inch

Big Blue Upgrade

Big thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this biggun to test.

Admittedly, when I first saw the box I thought “Aw, I already have this one”. My 7 inch version is ok, but nothing to shout about. Opened it up and Moby Dick came out. What a whopper! This is much more my size. It also fits nicely in one of those long satin storage bags. Great to see LH stocking bigger dildos that aren’t realistic. The clean marine colour is cool, too.

It’s the firm type of silicone, but there’s a little give in it for extra comfort while still delivering a good rogering. I love the curve in it. Great for G-spot fun or just experimenting with angles. My favourite position was laying on my front with the curve facing upwards (like doggy style). Some lube is definitely needed as it tends to rub or stick to the skin when dry.

The 9 inches gives it plenty of length to work with. I can’t take the whole thing as it starts to knock on my cervix. However, I kind of liked this (especially when it’s vibrating). Usually I can’t stand being prodded there, but some controlled pressure added to the tantalising feeling of tackling a titan. Extra caution is still needed to avoid discomfort so always know your limits before ramming it home. The shaft gets girthier as it goes down to about 6 inches at its fullest. This is great and all, but I can’t reach all the way due to the length. I’m still wholly satisfied by what I can manage, though.

There’s limited texture apart from the head. While this makes it super easy to clean, it doesn’t exactly make the shaft all that exciting. However, it makes up for it with the overall length and girth. That pronounced head is really something when it comes to shallow thrusting - slightly tapered for better insertion, too. My 7 inch version was my period dildo due to it being hassle free, but it felt like I had to “make-do” with it. I’m glad I got this upgrade so I can still enjoy myself like I usually would when it isn’t shark week.

There’s a hole in the base to insert a vibrating bullet. My Tango slides in nicely and the Desire Bullet will fit with a squeeze. The added grips and deepness make it an improvement on the 7 incher. The bullets didn’t budge or fall out during use. They stuck out enough to get at the controls and retrieve them after you’re done. The vibes from them transferred pretty well through the dildo - especially the tip. Made it a great teaser. Once inserted they dulled slightly, but it still felt like a fun vibrator.

The flared base is quite narrow by comparison to the shaft and doesn’t get in the way of other toys. It’s easy to forget it’s a suction cup because it’s barely concaved. I never really use suckers or masturbate in the shower, but I gave it a go for the sake on this review. It held out pretty well on the tiles until I got a tad more vigorous and it popped right off. Only seems to like straight thrusts? To be honest, I actually enjoyed a shower ride for once. Each time it fell off, I just used my hand instead to thrust it which is what I prefer anyway. Couldn’t wait to get out and finish off in the bedroom after that.

Overall, this is a BIG improvement on my earlier version. Length for days and curvaceous with the ability to also become a decent vibrator. If you have any of them already, then I can recommend this if you’re looking for an upgrade (or just a lengthy lover in general).

Overall Rating: 5/5

Pros: For length lovers. Holds vibes pretty well. Firmness and curve. Easy to clean. Not realistic.

Cons: Plain shaft. Suction cup is so-so. Sticks to skin when dry.

Bottom Line: A sizable and worthy upgrade.

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

by @Green_Eyed_Girl , 20/7/21
Lovehoney star power silicone butt plug

Seeing Stars

This excellent little butt plug is one of my favourite shapes. I’ve always found longer plugs have more impact than the bulb shaped ones. Its design is very pretty and quirky and the silicone is silky and a good density (squishy without being too soft).

Due to its flexibility, it was a tad tricky to insert but went in well after a little trial end error. I was a little cautious of the base initially due to its flexibility. but when in it rolls up on itself, becoming much firmer and it stayed in place well.
The shape feels lovely when in and would be excellent for anyone new to a plug as its soft texture makes it less intense. You definitely know its there though as besides other things, the neck is quite wide and presses very pleasurably once inserted.

The suction cup on the base is very strong and once wet, it happily stuck to my wooden headboard and textured bathroom tiles with no problem. On anything smooth it is a tad tricky to remove, but it definitely wont be shifting if you decide to use it like this.

Im quite curvy, so found it too short and bendy to really use successfully when stuck to the shower wall. What i did mange to get in felt good though, and i can see it being alot of fun to use like this.

Overall i liked this and think it would be alot of fun if your newer to plugs. The size isn’t massive, but the shape makes up for it and the wider neck makes it a nice one to have in for solo fun too.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: Great shape and soft silicone with a fun design and good suction cup

Cons: Flexibility make it a tad tricky to insert

Bottom Line: Nice little plug thats fun and has a shape that feels great when in.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 12/05/2021
Le Wand Grand Bullet Rechargeable Luxury Textured Silicone Bullet Vibrator

Mini Mace

A big thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.

The quality is apparent even before you open the box. What you see on the outside is exactly what you get inside as the photo is the same size as the bullet. I don’t usually write about the packaging for toys, but I think the swish presentation deserved a special mention. A stylish storage bag is always a plus, too.

Like the name suggests this is a pretty big bullet. It’s also very grand in weight with that metal body. Luckily the silicone sheath prevents it from becoming a slip ‘n’ slide nightmare when lubed up unlike other smooth bullets. It stays on securely and can be removed with a good ol’ twist and pull. The main thing I don’t like about the metal body is how cold it is. I have to warm it up before it gets anywhere near my bits; at least the sheath acts like a protective little coat. Some may enjoy the chill, though. Still nice to have a choice of heads either way.

Despite its size and weight, the vibrations are really quiet. It’s not that distracting even on the highest setting. The only time it tends to make a jarring sound is when pressing hard against something else like my pubic bone or another toy (mainly without the sheath on). There’s only one button to worry about which is responsive and quick to turn on/off. It also comes with a handy travel lock. Although the base button prevents it from standing upright, you can always use the silicone attachment to do so if you didn’t want it touching a surface.

There’s 4 constants and the rest are those long pause or 2-in-1 patterns that I’m not keen on. I didn’t find any of the constants too weak or too strong. There’s a light but rumbly deepness to them which tended to give me more of a slow build to climax. It’s almost like the metal body absorbs the impact so there’s no hard thwack to them - not like the Desire or VeDo LUV bullets, for example. I managed to climax comfortably on all 4 of them and even got great ride-outs since the vibes didn’t aggravate my clit after which I could prolong effortlessly. Laying on my front, back and side were all doable. However, I noticed if I used the vibe for a while (like carrying on after the first orgasm) it tended to numb the area. So for me, it was better the quicker I could climax with it.

The bumps on the sheath add a little extra stimulation. While the silicone itself is quite soft, the hard metal underneath is still noticeable making it feel like a mini mace. It’s not as torturous as it sounds, though. The bumps offer a more tickly sensation if you hold them lightly over the skin. But then that cold, rigidness can show next to no mercy to your clit. The contrast of the soft vibes and hard body can be tricky to balance out just how you like it during use at times. It didn’t make a huge difference to the vibrations with or without the sheath because of how firm it is overall. The rounded tip reduces pinching slightly, but it still made me extra cautious when using firmer dildos. I also used it a little for internal play which can be a pleasant switch-up in comparison to other smooth bullets.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find much joy in the cross-guard attachment. The idea is to slip it on and insert the bullet head so the textures can stimulate the external area. It doesn’t reach anywhere near my clit when it’s up to the mid-ledge where it’s meant to sit. I did manage to climax with it in this fashion, but I felt it was my wrist doing most of the work around my clit and not the silicone attachment on my opening. Meh. Works better as a stand for me. You could always just take it off and rub the textures on yourself, too.

You can tell when it gets low on power by the dying rumble. Once it’s dead, it’s totally dead and won’t turn on again until it’s recharged. The magnetic charger is quite unique and easy to use. It flashes and then stays lit when it’s complete. Also has the brand name on it so I can tell it apart from my jungle of charge wires. The battery life was generous enough and I got a fair amount of uses out of it.

It seems to get absolutely rotten after a session, but luckily it’s waterproof and simple to clean. The only slight concern is the metal body being smooth and heavy enough to be slippery when wet. This is more apparent when the sheath is off, though. The brand stamp is very narrow, so it can be tricky to get in between for a thorough clean. If you choose to use it, the silicone attachment requires a brush due to the textures.

Overall, this is a well-made and quiet bullet. Despite it being bigger and heavier than average, there’s a certain gentleness to it. The vibes are not overly strong which may not be great for power queens, but could benefit those that have more sensitive clits (or just prefer lower-mid feeling ones). I enjoyed them, anyway. Would also be ideal for travel or for secretive peeps that are concerned over being heard when tickling the clitling. Not a bad bullet at all - I just like a bit more oomph and less cold, hard steel.

Overall Rating: 4/5

Pros: Quality. Choice of heads. Light but deep rumbly vibes. Quiet. Great ride-outs. Bag. Cleaning.

Cons: Cold, rigid metal. Attachment doesn’t add a great deal. Patterns not for me.

Bottom Line: Hard as nails, but actually quite gentle when it comes to the vibes.