hi all, shopped for a while but never posted however after trying all avenues kind of hoping maybe some fresh advice might help. so a bit of back story, been married for 11 years and both mid 30’s. at the start she was very sexual with wearing different outfits,trying new positions and exploring boundaries by playing around in different places eg the car in a popular parking area etc. over the years she has completely lost her sex drive to the point i have to near enough beg for it maybe once a month and even then it lasts 2 minutes as is only the same 2 positions. we have 2 kids and her figure has changed although i always tell her how sexy and hot she is and when she is comfortable to i buy her sexy underwear and such that boosts her body confidence. we have several toys that she lets me incorporate but only when shes had a drink. she is very shy and closed minded but im the complete opposite. she is aware of the experiences ive had in my past and previously i have been having a conversation with my best friend who i know she has a crush on and we were discussing what we would do if a threesome situation presented itself. she got really turned by this and has told me she would like a night with just my friend. i would be fine with this as i would be having his wife at the same time. she has also joined me in a conversation where i have been video chatting with my friend and his wife and when they started fooling around on video she got involved and gave me a hand/bj over video too so i know she has a naughty/freak side to her however my problem is she now completely denies it and gets all quite and shuts down when i bring up anything sexual. my question is how do i bring out that freak side again as there as many things i want to try and i know they would boost her confidence apologies for the long post and thanks for bearing with it.
Greetings and Welcome @JohnnieBench 
That is quite an intro. Having kids certainly changes things. You both are still relatively young so I wouldn’t think any hormone imbalance would cause the off/on cycles. Adding new partners certainly will add a higher level of excitement to the mix…I cannot speak directly to that having not ventured down that path, yet. good luck in your journey.
Helloooo
Welcome to the forum
@JohnnieBench Hello and welcome to the forum 
In my opinion, it’s may be worth you working as a couple to see if there any way or reinvigorating her sex drive and getting back to enjoy some of those experiences you both enjoyed in the past.
Involving others especially friends in threesomes or swapping. Could be really exciting. But it also might have very bad consequences if it wasn’t to work out as planned. Certainly something to consider.
Gday
Hello and welcome!
It’s a really difficult one - becoming a parent changes you, more so for the mums than the dads I’m afraid. Your body and mind aren’t your own anymore and it’s really hard to switch from being mum all day to wife at night - the kids become the priority and there’s little left for anything or anyone else, especially when the kids are little. And it’s really hard to feel sexy when you spend half your time stepping on Lego and picking mashed banana out of your hair. I can only speak for myself but personally I completely lost my sense of identity and with it all desire. Give it time, and give her space to be herself - make sure she gets some time off from being a mum. If you can help her build in some time for her then the old magic will creep back in again. And don’t forget to ensure you have regular date nights - even if it’s just once a month - time for you as a couple, not necessarily with the expectation of sex, but just some 1:1 time, reminding each other of why you fell in love in the first place. Hang on in there, it will get better.
Welcome to the forum dude, sounds like your in the right predicament, but I guess you need to ask yourself why she’s retreated back into herself and what is the core issues to how things have changed so much from where they used to be… only then can you figure out how to try help her remedy them 
Welcome to the forum
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