Just had sex with my new gf this weekend and it was great. I surprised myself with my staying power, but i fail to cum, tho she came 2-3 times. When i masturbate myself- nor problemo.
So far i've got away with saying i've cum in the condom when i haven't. but y'know i'd like to.
any thoughts?
maybe your concentrating too much on pleasuring her??
Deepaction... Don't start off a relationship with a lie, if you didn't cum, then tell her. There nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway way perhaps you didn't cum cos you were a little anxious of being in a new relationship..but pls..honesty is the best policy.
Ok just a few questions.
1. You say new gf, did you have sex with previous gf, if so did you cum and if so was it using a condom.
2. You say when you masturbate , no problem , how long did you leave it between masturbation and penetrative sex.
3. How long did this session last.
I say these things because.
If you had sex with previous gf and everything was ok then the biological / physical side must be working fine.
If you use a condom now but didn't before there may be some loss of sensitivity and maybe you need to be given a little foreplay first , I know my bf does .
The idea that all men can masturbate / have sex 5 times a day is frankly rubbish, most men twice a day max and the volume of the second and subsequent ejaculate will be small or possibly non existent.
You say you surprised yourself with your staying power , does this mean you don't normally last long, well maybe you've found a partner . new position a little more compatible to staying power but not enough atm to stimulate you.
Try a new position or a litte foreplay first or even a little mutial masturbation during sex to get things kick started.
Good luck , enjoy the practice .
Deepaction wrote:So far i've got away with saying i've cum in the condom when i haven't. but y'know i'd like to.
I second luvly - tell her. I would also like to add, you won't get your best solutions to this by talking to us, you need to discuss this with her. You know yourself what you like, and she can't change what she's doing if she is not aware that what you're both doing isn't working for you.
None of us here have a clue of what stimulation works for you or what you're doing or what she's doing. Discuss this with her.
Those are my thoughts.
Good luck,
Lubyanka.
sexymel88 wrote:
maybe your concentrating too much on pleasuring her??
Mel - I can't believe you said that - there's no such thing as "too much concentration" on pleasuring her!!
Wipe that evil thought from your mind immediately!
Ok, rant over. :)
It's alot more common than you think. there's loads of factors that contribute, stress of perfoming, too much booze. Just take your time.
The biggest one I have is if me & Mrs Duck are going wild & I bang my conkers hard then its game over.
Next time try a nice slow sensual screw, & try NOT to fire your bolt. You'll be asking for delay spray!
I have heard of men who pretend to come because they can't. It's not only ladies who fake orgasms.
I am not suggesting you do that!
A lot of problems like this work themselves out in time, but as people have said above, you have to talk to her about it.
Hi, new girlfriend - period of self pleasuring. Dependent upon the period you were on your own then it may be that you have become a little fixated on self pleasuring, to the extent that intercourse is too far removed from masturbation to provide the friction pattern you are used to.
You might need to a. talk the matter through, b. fix on some mental imagery that rings your bells, in time the problem will sort itself out l am sure- just got to keep at it!!
Good luck
TB