How can I encourage my OH to participate in bedroom activities? She even suggested today that I just masturbate. Not that that is totally unacceptable but I would much rather prefer two to tango! Yes we have both bn under a lot of stress recently and have suffered 2 x losses in last 10 months.
I miss my partner not just for sex but for other things to! Trouble is she will not sit down and let go of her feelings!
HELP?
Tell her that you're their for her and always will be :D Tell her that you're their for her when she needs to talk. You can also get one of her friends to suggest to her that sex relieves stress, because it does :D Things take time, tell her how you're feeling and tell her that you miss her and why you miss her. I was like that at one point because i have ADHD and autism, and wasnt on medication for it and my life was spiriling out of control. My OH helped pull me back into reality by sitting down and said that he misses me and that he'll always be there for me to talk to when i ready to. I still bottle things up, but i know that if somethings really bothering me I can tell him. Maybe she feels like she cant go to you right now because of your losses. Reasure her that she can :D x
Thx.x
The hardest thing today was when she said quite matter of fact why don't you just have a wank!
Totally shocked me and hurt even more than no sex at all.
How are things outside the bedroom? Are you making time for hugs and cuddles and for being close. The thing with losses and trauma is that it can make people feel isolated and trapped inside and if this is how she's feeling, then it's understandable that she's not in the mood at the moment.
If you are frustrated, it probably isn't going to help the situation, so I'd suggest maybe taking her up on her offer and then, when you feel relieved, try to be close in other ways and start rebuilding the bonds.
JVWH wrote:
Thx.x
The hardest thing today was when she said quite matter of fact why don't you just have a wank!
Totally shocked me and hurt even more than no sex at all.
You could of replied ' I would rather make love to you and feel close to you & take your troubles away I am here for you'
Maybe a night in just you two dvd snuggle on the sofa , dont have it in your head that it will lead in for sex pizza chill out have that cuddle , its hard if shes not opening up to you and that is very hard as it can be frustating for you . Baby steps and just be there when she is ready she will let you in