Hi all!
I’m in a very happy, sexual active relationship, we always have been. We’ve been together 8 years. The only thing that I really struggle with is pornography, I don’t watch it, especially as we have sex often, but he does. It’s been very difficult for me to understand why he does this, but recently have come to get my head around it, and slowly accepting it. Over the past year or two I have found out he has been using site such as Omegle/Dirty roulette. We have previously started using these sites together, but now knowing he’s on them without me I see it as cheating? I’ve told him I would prefer it if we go on the sites together but since he has used it once. I want to have a better understanding of porn in relationships but its really knocking my confidence. Does anyone else watch porn? whilst in a relationship? would you use live cam sites?
TIA x
Hello and welcome @Frankie312 
I remember a topic from a few months back that was asking a similar thing. There may be something in there that you might find helpful while you wait for more replies?
thanks Ian! that’s great, I’ll have a read through! 
Hi, me and my partner now watch it together - have you thought about making your own videos for him to keep on his phone ?? Why don’t you make a pact that unless it’s agreed he can’t watch it - build the tension up for it to be with you when your home? Try and find out what he watches it for - high sex drive? Fantasy? Hope this helps! Xx
I’ve been on the cam sites with him, but never porn. I will give it a try, willing to try anything now. Yeah, videos will be something I will do, I need more confidence with my body. I am always sending pictures, I guess that’s because I can see the angles and know what I look like. Thank you very much! I’ll defo be taking what you’ve said xx
Hi, Just recently found out OH has been dependent online for quite a while. Have felt absolutely gutted and hurt beyond due to his lack of communication with me.
Just got back on track and have spiced us up with sending photos while he’s at work. First time trying this and he likes it. He’s even suggested more in sending more explicit photos
I’m not into watching porn - does zero for me.
I’d say do what makes you happy- not sure after trying it then at least you’ve made the effort 
@BishBosh honestly you don’t know how good it feels to know you experienced similar things, as bad as it must have been for you but so glad that’s been sorted for you!!!
I have sent lotsss of pictures, and continue to do so, I just feel there’s no solving this situation and its something I have to deal with, just unsure how
thank you for replying!
It’s unfortunately affected our sex life BUT I’m determined to get us back on track.
Communication is a must.
Have you popped it into the search bar for past chats? It may be useful to you.
It’s such a relief knowing you’re not alone isn’t it!
Hi @Frankie312 
Welcome to the forum!
I think this is tricky and depends entirely upon what you are and are not comfortable with.
For me personally, I am completely happy with my OH watching whatever porn he likes whether I’m there or not, though I do like porn myself and will watch it alone as well so maybe that’s the difference?
For me, and again it’s personal opinion, others will have a more open relationship and may be fine with it but for me cam sites are an absolute no. I feel that’s a personal interaction with another person (male or female) and for me that feels like cheating. I would be extremely upset if I found out my OH used a cam site.
It’s grey lines and it’s tricky but if you are uncomfortable with it, it needs to stop.
I’m in a happy marriage and porn isn’t really a thing, you just get horny and just put some porn on and masturbate.
Sometimes we share the links of the porn clips we watched.
Personally I have no issue with porn. If he wants to watch it he’s free to. He says he doesn’t but I’m fine if he does. Cam sites are a different thing all together for me. That’s watching someone live performing in a way that you have asked them to. I wouldn’t necessarily class it as cheating but that would have to stop. Also, don’t you tend to pay for cam sites? Again I wouldnt be happy if he was spending money on it.
I have watched porn from a young ages, I think most guys do. When I met my Oh she had never, now she probably watches more than me 
I enjoy watching certain porn that she won’t like so I watch it when I’m alone. Likewise she prefers to watch her videos alone while masturbating (she mostly masturbate as a sleep aid before working a night shift) we sometimes watch it together as well…
Cam sites are slightly different as she doesn’t like me using them as like you she’s not keen on the idea of me talking to other women (although I never have, just enjoy watching) it might be quite innocent and he likes the ‘stranger’ aspect of it all.
At the end of the day every is different but myself personally we watch a lot of it solo and together. You will just have to have a frank discussion on what he likes from the cam sites and make pit across your feelings. Everything can be solved by a good talk!
Hey! I would hapoily watch porn with my man and am hapoy for him to watch it alone. I wouldnt be comfortable with him using live cams, but everyone is different.
If it was me, I would bring it up and discuss it as I feel that is the best way to resolve anything.
Hey,
I’m happily married and I’ve been watching porn since I can remember. My sex life is brilliant but love to watch porn whilst having some solo play.
My wife doesn’t really like porn, we occasionally watch it together but can never find something she likes.
She has no issues with me watching porn and knows I do.
It’s down to the individual but for me I love porn!
I echo what everyone else says and communication is key
Hiya, I feel your pain and worries too. I don’t like it, knowing that my partner watches or chats to other people makes me feel like poo, like I’m not good enough and I feel like it can easily escalate to being an addiction.
I also feel like this is my brain I should fix but then no , why should I? I’m not doing anything wrong.
I’m here, have sex with me! I don’t watch porn anymore because I think it’s too fake and I understand that maybe the cam sites are more like reality, but that’s my main problem, it makes it more like cheating, especially as its kept secret. I’ve told my partner this , he knows I hate it but I don’t know what it will take for him to stop. A breakdown?
I don’t know the solution, I feel like maybe the cliche of a female mind being more emotional and the man more compartmentalised is true and that they will never understand how it really makes their partner feel. The person they’re meant to love, look after and share everything with? The whole subject drives me crazy so im not going to reply if there’s a debate on this!! Sending love. 
Personally, as long as he isn’t using porn instead of having sex with me I’m not worried, but if he was sneaking off to watch porn instead of having swx it would upset me.
It would also upset me if he used those cam sites without me; I feel that’s more personal as its live images and a person, not (necessarily) an actor on the other side
It’s a slippery slope IMO and a super powerful tool for good and bad. When my husband and I met he was caught off guard by my inclination toward it while he was more on the averse side. This will date me a bit but he logged into our laptop about a month after our honeymoon and found a DVD loaded in the drive. It caused some mistrust because of the lack of communication. Without being too cryptic it also drives some of our behaviors we have in our sex life now. While trying to strike a balance in that life we’ve shy’d away from porn and it’s actually brought more of an ability to be clear as opposed to just acting in desires.
@Jessie24 and @WelshDragonette said exactly what I was going to.
Porn use in moderation solo is fine by me. Live chats would be an absolute no, I would feel like that would be as bad as cheating.
@glitterismyfavouritecolour I feel like we are in the exact situation! Honestly everything you have said is spot on with me!! I’m sure we’ll figure something out!!