Rant Thread - Get it all out here

You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about :cry: :hugs:

2 Likes

One thing I would say concerning how your mother will take it, please remember you are not responsible for her feelings. Quite often family use the fact that they know you don’t want to lose them against you. You don’t need to apologise for what you do and if your mother doesn’t like it, you don’t need to go begging her to forgive you. She can accept what you do, realise it doesn’t change who you are and move on, or she can lose contact. It’s a big relief when you realise you don’t have to value family opinions of you anymore than you would value anyone else’s.

4 Likes

Yeah, recommend being wise about emotional manipulation. Great thought.

1 Like

I am so sorry for you @Justthe2ofus2007 where does your husband fit into this escalating situation? Can he not contact your in-laws (HIS family) and tell them in no uncertain terms to mind their own business and to NOT contact your mom in any way, shape or form? I would definitely contact the police, as the threat of using Facebook or any social media to threaten you, blackmail you or try to ruin your life is Cyber-bullying. Big hugs and my best wishes to you.

8 Likes

So sorry you’re going through this honey @Justthe2ofus2007 sending hugs. Wish I had advice to give but it seems like others have covered that better than I could.

2 Likes

Sending all my love @Justthe2ofus2007 we are all here if you need a chat :heart:

1 Like

I’m so sorry to hear all your hurt @Justthe2ofus2007, sorry but I can only send lots of hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

1 Like

I imagine he must be quite upset, especially if it was his wife’s funeral just the other day. Does he understand why you’re no longer going round?

As for the blackmail, I’m not sure it counts if there are no demands for money, or something in exchange, for not revealing it? Have you done any more research into your options?

1 Like

You’re thinking of extortion. There doesn’t need to be a demand for money or property involved for it to be blackmail, blackmail is about the threat.

4 Likes

But it has to be ‘do this, or I’ll tell’?

blackmail
/ˈblakmeɪl/
noun
the action, treated as a criminal offence, of demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.

(Disclaimer: I’m not a blackmail expert, so don’t take what I say as gospel. :slightly_smiling_face: It’s good to know where you stand though)

1 Like

That sounds more like malicious communication

Just seen your edit. If there’s an element of ‘do this, or I’ll reveal compromising information’ then that gets closer to blackmail.

5 Likes

From Wikipedia.

Blockquote
Blackmail may also be considered a form of extortion.[1] Although the two are generally synonymous, extortion is the taking of personal property by threat of future harm.[6] Blackmail is the use of threat to prevent another from engaging in a lawful occupation and writing libelous letters or letters that provoke a breach of the peace, as well as use of intimidation for purposes of collecting an unpaid debt.[7]

I believe the differentiation is specifically made for situations like these. Blackmail can include things like “if you break up with me, I will kill myself” and threatening to tell someones mum on Facebook that they are doing sex work. I’m not a lawyer either but it’s definitely something I would consult one (or a police officer) on!

1 Like

I’m not suggesting you’ve done anything wrong or illegal.

Your in-laws behaviour is over-the-top, and unnecessarily spiteful. They have no grounds to cast such sweeping judgements over how you live your life. And the manner they’ve gone about it is vindictive and unpleasant.

But you need to know what levers you have at your disposal. The police will certainly be able to advise you if there is a criminal case. :+1:

6 Likes

Tell him you are going to contact the police, and please do contact them, don’t let him bully you. You are correct, he could message your mom directly on Messenger without actually being her Facebook friend, which makes his motives for friendship very suspicious. Try researching cyber-bullying, revenge porn, and blackmail. I’m pretty sure the police take these things more seriously nowadays.

2 Likes

This bit is my point. If it’s to get you to stop then that’s blackmail. If it’s just to tell people with no expectation of anything in return then I don’t think it counts?

Eg. I see my mate’s husband snogging someone else. If I say to him “if you don’t tell your partner, I will” then that’s not blackmail.

1 Like

I think either way @Justthe2ofus2007 you really need some police advice over this situation. He can’t be allowed to get away with telling you how to conduct your life.

3 Likes

My advice here would be to seek professional advice. You can speak to police or seek legal advice just because you feel something might be breaking the law. It’s the legal system’s job to look into the specific circumstances and decide if it qualifies.

5 Likes

I probably should have led with that. :slightly_smiling_face:

I imagine that this may not be uncommon? Is there a website/resource available for cam workers who have found themselves in a similar situation?

1 Like

I’ve tried searching for one and I’m not able to find anything. There’s no information about this in any of the conduct rules on the site I use. The best they can offer is to contact site support if you’re getting abuse.

There definitely should be one though.

3 Likes

I think if he was going to do what he said he is going to do, then he would have done it already. He wants to make you do what he wants you to do, take it all down and stop working. He knows that The minute he tells your mum, he’s got no leverage on you to make you do what he want’s. All he get’s is to hurt you, and it sounds very much to me that it’s stopping you working on cams that he really wants, because he’s had this guy telling him what you do, the guy is likely ribbing your brother in-law over it. that’s why he’s wanting you to take it all down.

The best way to beat it is to takeaway his leverage; I know what you said about your mum, but if he does do it anyway at least you got in there first, and he has nothing else to blackmail you with to get you to do what he wants.

6 Likes