Phenomenally well written @Cupc8kes. I admire how you and others are able to keep your emotions more in check when replying. I get all WTF-ish. You all would make great lawyers lol
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I’m also curious what the blackmail would be. But if it’s blackmail that you’re concerned about I absolutely don’t need to know. As others have stated, from all we’ve heard there’s nothing that strikes me as anything to be especially concerned about legally. And they already tipped their hand by telling every one on the planet what they have so they’re out of cards to play the way I see it.
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@Justthe2ofus2007 I get you, please stay strong.
These things happen to test us, but at the end of the day - what will be, will be.
Sometimes we don’t have the power to change things so we have to sit back and let it unfold.
Would your mum really be prepared to lose her own grandchildren over this.
Social services - like your friend has said, as long as your children are being cared for and all their needs are being met, that is what they are interested in.
Everyone needs to earn a living, you could be doing much worse!!!
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You can and will get past this. It may feel impossible right now, but you still have the people most important to you (your kids, your husband, the friends who know and don’t judge), you can find new fulfilling relationships with people who don’t care what you do.
What they are doing to you is horrible, and it’s natural to feel awful right now, but eventually they will be out of your life and you wont need to worry about it. It’s wonderful that you want to maintain some sort of relationship with your mother for your children’s sake, but kids are hardy and they will be okay. I have no doubt it’d better for them to no longer see your mother than to have their own mother so upset and stressed about it.
The only people who are worth having in your life are the ones who bring you happiness and understanding. If you lose someone who brings you stress and sadness, then it may be hard in the short term but in the long run, you’ll feel better for losing them.
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I know it’s easy for me to say but please try not to upset yourself any further over this @Justthe2ofus2007
Even if social services were to get involved they’d soon be able to tell that there’s no worries about your kids. Plenty of people involved in adult entertainment have kids, none of what you’re doing is in anyway illegal or detrimental to the well being of your children. I doubt very much whether you’d need to prove that you haven’t met anyone.
As far as the blackmail issue goes, what’s his endgame here? What exactly does he want in return for not sending your videos to your mum? Or is he just going to send anyway, that being the case I’d get in first and tell her myself if it was me.
Yes, you’re angry and sad at the moment but you will get through this and you really don’t need idiots and stupidly judgemental people in your life.
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You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about 
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One thing I would say concerning how your mother will take it, please remember you are not responsible for her feelings. Quite often family use the fact that they know you don’t want to lose them against you. You don’t need to apologise for what you do and if your mother doesn’t like it, you don’t need to go begging her to forgive you. She can accept what you do, realise it doesn’t change who you are and move on, or she can lose contact. It’s a big relief when you realise you don’t have to value family opinions of you anymore than you would value anyone else’s.
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Yeah, recommend being wise about emotional manipulation. Great thought.
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I am so sorry for you @Justthe2ofus2007 where does your husband fit into this escalating situation? Can he not contact your in-laws (HIS family) and tell them in no uncertain terms to mind their own business and to NOT contact your mom in any way, shape or form? I would definitely contact the police, as the threat of using Facebook or any social media to threaten you, blackmail you or try to ruin your life is Cyber-bullying. Big hugs and my best wishes to you.
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So sorry you’re going through this honey @Justthe2ofus2007 sending hugs. Wish I had advice to give but it seems like others have covered that better than I could.
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Sending all my love @Justthe2ofus2007 we are all here if you need a chat 
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I’m so sorry to hear all your hurt @Justthe2ofus2007, sorry but I can only send lots of hugs
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I imagine he must be quite upset, especially if it was his wife’s funeral just the other day. Does he understand why you’re no longer going round?
As for the blackmail, I’m not sure it counts if there are no demands for money, or something in exchange, for not revealing it? Have you done any more research into your options?
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You’re thinking of extortion. There doesn’t need to be a demand for money or property involved for it to be blackmail, blackmail is about the threat.
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But it has to be ‘do this, or I’ll tell’?
blackmail
/ˈblakmeɪl/
noun
the action, treated as a criminal offence, of demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.
(Disclaimer: I’m not a blackmail expert, so don’t take what I say as gospel. 
It’s good to know where you stand though)
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That sounds more like malicious communication
Just seen your edit. If there’s an element of ‘do this, or I’ll reveal compromising information’ then that gets closer to blackmail.
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From Wikipedia.
Blockquote
Blackmail may also be considered a form of extortion.[1] Although the two are generally synonymous, extortion is the taking of personal property by threat of future harm.[6] Blackmail is the use of threat to prevent another from engaging in a lawful occupation and writing libelous letters or letters that provoke a breach of the peace, as well as use of intimidation for purposes of collecting an unpaid debt.[7]
I believe the differentiation is specifically made for situations like these. Blackmail can include things like “if you break up with me, I will kill myself” and threatening to tell someones mum on Facebook that they are doing sex work. I’m not a lawyer either but it’s definitely something I would consult one (or a police officer) on!
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I’m not suggesting you’ve done anything wrong or illegal.
Your in-laws behaviour is over-the-top, and unnecessarily spiteful. They have no grounds to cast such sweeping judgements over how you live your life. And the manner they’ve gone about it is vindictive and unpleasant.
But you need to know what levers you have at your disposal. The police will certainly be able to advise you if there is a criminal case. 
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Tell him you are going to contact the police, and please do contact them, don’t let him bully you. You are correct, he could message your mom directly on Messenger without actually being her Facebook friend, which makes his motives for friendship very suspicious. Try researching cyber-bullying, revenge porn, and blackmail. I’m pretty sure the police take these things more seriously nowadays.
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This bit is my point. If it’s to get you to stop then that’s blackmail. If it’s just to tell people with no expectation of anything in return then I don’t think it counts?
Eg. I see my mate’s husband snogging someone else. If I say to him “if you don’t tell your partner, I will” then that’s not blackmail.
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