Maybe there are fully circumcised people on here who can persuade you that it’s ok?
5 Likes
I am getting on in years and have been circumcised since being an infant. I can say I have found there no problem. Unfortunately its happened rightly or wrongly you now need to get on with your life. If you are in good health apart from this you should think yourself fortunate. You should definitely seek professional advice but you should focus on whats good in life rather than something you cannot alter. I’m not the best person to give advice but I am circumcised and am proud of that.
7 Likes
You almost certainly have a body dismorphic disorder and I am so sorry you are suffering so severely. I just happened to be reading an account by someone affected by BDD and having read your comments the following paragraph of the article struck me:-
“As is common with this disorder, I didn’t trust the doctors’ diagnosis or recommendations. I didn’t need psychotherapy or medication. I needed a plastic surgeon”
So I know you won’t believe us but all of us would beg you to get professional help, counseling, talk to someone. Surely it is worth a go, what is the harm in giving it a try (or another try). I know what you want is for the pain to stop but trust me when I say there are more options to stop that pain than you can see currently, it might take a little faith to start with but please keep trying, don’t give up. I have been where you are just 4 years ago and now when I think of what I could have missed out on it honestly scares me. X
2 Likes
Sorry you feel like this and what you’re going through but hubby’s circumcised, he had it done when he was 5 or 6 due to medical reasons, and he too is proud of it. But he definitely does get a lot of sexual pleasure and happiness and intense orgasm’s, and he definitely is the best I’ve ever had. And I definitely prefer circumcised, I get more pleasure from it too and he’s the only one ever to give me an orgasm too from sex. You should try and seek help
6 Likes
@Metalfanatic87 I’m going to be a bit harsh here because I think you need a wake up call. Know that I am speaking from the position of someone who struggles with my mental (and physocal) health a lot and has had very serious suicidal ideation in the recent past. If you don’t think you can hear it, feel free to stop reading here, with the main thing I want you to take away being please, please, please talk to someone about this.
- You need to stop comparing circumcision to FGM. They are not at all equivalent. Both things can be bad, but they are not the same.
- Not everyone with fully intact genitals experiences ideal levels of sexual pleasure. Sexual disfunction is incredibly common for all sorts of reasons. You seem to have an unrealistic ideal of what’s “normal” and are dwelling on it.
- Psychology is a big factor in sexual satisfaction. Anyone struggling with your level of body dismorphia is bound to find sex difficult and less pleasurable. The physiological factor of having a circumcised penis is likely much less of a factor than it feels like.
- Many, many, many people live and thrive sexually without their ideal genitals, e.g. trans people, non-binary people.
- You need to accept what cannot be changed. It doenst matter what you would give to have your foreskin back, because it’s never going to happen. You may as well be fantasising about transforming into a frog.
- Hundreds of thousands of people who are circumcised live sexually fullfilling lives.
- Sex is not everything. You could lead a happy and fullfilling life even if you couldn’t feel your dick at all.
- I know you don’t think anything will help, but you seriously need psychological support. If you are already feeling suicidal you have nothing left to lose by trying.
11 Likes
Thank you. I absolutely agree therapy could be really helpful but there’s no chance of ever getting my mother to speak to someone. She doesn’t believe mental health problems are real problems and sees therapy as shameful. She definitely has her own mental health problems but I can no longer keep using that as a reason to excuse her abusive behaviour.
I have had some 1-1 therapy but was sadly unable to continue. I will definitely be looking for another therapist if I can afford it once I am (fingers crossed!) settled in another part of the country.
1 Like
Thank you all for the replies, I would reply individually but thought it best to address them all in one post.
I appreciate the positive comments a lot and I know people only want to try and help me, thank you and sorry to bother this forum unnecessarily.
I know I probably shouldn’t of mentioned FGM however I still believe more milder forms of it (eg removing just the clitoral hood which is the same as male foreskin and serves the same purpose) would be no different to male circumcision and I imagine most females would not be happy with their clitoral hood missing and having their exposed glans rub/dry out and lose sensitivity, I don’t know that’s just my thinking I’m not a female so I wouldn’t know what would actually happen and I mean no offense at all I know it’s a sensitive subject just like circumcision is.
Really no idea what to say or do anymore, I have seen 2 Urologists and GP’s a few times and they can’t/won’t offer anything surgery wise but it’s not their fault, spoke with friends/parents about it to so I have spoken to plenty of people, sometimes I feel better about it for a little bit then I return to feeling terrible especially if I read posts from Intactivist movement groups who are staunchly adamant it’s an unnecessary harmful procedure, some people have even disowned parents for it which makes me very sad 
I do have therapy once a week and am on a waiting list for physcho sexual counselling so to those that think I am doing nothing I am but it still hurts/harms me.
I know from a couple of replies these people have taken issue/offence to my post but I’m not apologizing for anything and won’t let anyone tell me what I should/think say, I know I’m a seriously mentally ill and messed up individual but at least I’m honest and wont fake been happy even if I live been deeply depressed/suicidal for however long in am on this earth.
My feelings are my own and nobody has any right to dictate how I should feel, rant over!!!
Now try hiding a few of her possessions and see how she likes it. 
1 Like
Thank you for kicking me while I’m down clearly you don’t recognize that I’m a vulnerable and ill person.
Funny how it tends to always be women who say that circumcision isn’t that bad, easy to say when it’s not them that have bits of their genitals missing, if you had your clitoral hood missing you would be annoyed and most likely be harmed physically and psychologically by it, I would never dare to tell an FGM victim it’s not that bad and that they still have fully functioning genitals I would be crucified for it especially if I said oh well there’s more to life than sex and expect them to be ok with it and be happy.
Did I ever say I could get it back? I was merely expressing how badly it’s affected me, and who knows if foregen is successful it might be possible despite all the naysayers.
You can judge me all you want but I won’t just shut up and keep quiet like society tells men to do if they dare to say they are not happy been circumcised, us men are people to and have feelings/emotions and i for one won’t let a random internet stranger tell me I should be quiet, the Intactivists are right men don’t get equal rights regarding genital mutilation.
I have spoken to GP’s/Urologists/parents/friends and it’s not changed my mind or made me think any differently so you are wrong, I have sought help and also I have had therapy to!!!
(TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide)This text will be blurred I will be hanging myself tonight, it’s my life and I will do whatever I want it’s not illegal or a crime, I’m in charge of my life so can end it any time I like and I need to get out of the daily constant pain I am in.
Don’t bother replying please just forget everything, you don’t know me or anything about me so judge me/get pissed at my reply all you like you are not me so leave me alone now.
I’m not kicking you while you are down or judging you. I specifically started that post with telling you not to read if you didn’t feel up to it and telling you I also suffer with serious mental health issues. I have a great deal of sympathy. Being stuck with a body (or body part) you hate hurts a lot, I know this personally.
No one can stop you from killing yourself if you are determined to but I can assure you no one here wants that.
I’m going to have to leave this discussion now because it is having a serious impact on my own mental health but I sincerely hope you do not go ahead with your plan.
3 Likes
I really don’t want to weigh in on this in any way but I feel it’s important for anyone reading this thread in future to point out that FGM and male circumcision are considered to be different issues (despite many of their similarities) because FGM is not usually performed by a doctor or under anaesthetic and is often done with unsterilised non-surgical tools. (I won’t go into details as it’s incredibly unpleasant and I feel people can look this up themselves if they wish to).
@Metalfanatic87 I’m sorry to see that you are suffering and I hope you can find support that works for you, stay strong
4 Likes
Okay. I didn’t want to engage more here, but it’s weighing on me and for my own piece of mind I must defend myself.
Firstly, I’m not a woman. I am non-binary, I prefer female pronouns but that doesn’t make me female. I often pine for the penis I will never have and feel resentful of the breasts I do have. I am not being dismissive of your pain.
Secondly, I don’t appreciate you insinuating I am being sexist, or saying non consensual male circumcision isn’t a terrible thing. It is and I would categorically never say otherwise. In my opinion it should be outlawed unless done for strictly medical reasons or specifically requested by someone over 18. That doesn’t mean I can’t advocate for accepting your body as it now stands.
I would offer much the same advice to someone who was the victim of FGM and finding themself unable to move past that trauma. What cannot be changed must be accepted. Once your own mental health is stable, you can consider things like raising awareness, but that is not a good idea while you are still struggling so deeply with your own trauma.
I have had the exact same thoughts about what I would give up just to have my mother accept my sexuality. They are damaging. They prevent you moving on and finding happiness in things you can control. I never said you shouldn’t feel this way, only that it is fantasising, and not helpful.
Everything I said comes from hard earned personal experience. I am not judging you. Judging you would mean judging myself equally harshly and self hatred is something I am already prone to and trying very, very hard to move past.
I’m sorry you felt like my response was an attack but I can’t emphasise enough how wrong that is. I have very little emotional or physical energy on the best days and I chose to spend some if it last night on trying to help you. Unfortunately I am not a qualified therapist and evidently I did more harm than good, for which I am sincerely sorry. I hope you find the help you need.
13 Likes
Just a note to say we are aware of this, more info to follow
Thank you 
18 Likes
I’m seriously pissed off because I borrowed my so-called friend my phone, he’s borrowed me a phone in the past so I had no idea what would happen after being friends for many years. Well he wanted it for a day but it’s been nearly 3 week’s and I ain’t got it back. Found out he had bad addiction problems and is in thousands of pounds worth of debt, I didn’t know any of this at the time or I’d of said no. It’s not even the phone that bothers me as much as all the work I’d done with this n that n thousands of reviews are lost forever because I can’t access my email address. Aswell as that I’m getting charged for subscription services like amazon that I don’t have access to. I’m so hurt and pissed off that he’s ruined so much of me life by obviously selling it 
I’m thinking bout lashing out at him next time I see him as the police will say it’s my own fault so I doubt they’d do owt other than make me feel more silly than I already do 
Had to get that out as it’s been grating on me for weeks now. I’ve not been able to replace it either yet as we’ve got alot to pay out atm, the joys 
3 Likes
Aswell as this I’ve got people telling me we don’t deserve a holiday because they think we’re only on benefits, even if that was the case everyone deserves a holiday. We are on pip n carers n ESA but are also busting a gut trying to earn a living online. Let’s not forget my new business collapsed at the start of covid. There’s so many in this area who’ve started to be mean to me n usually I’ll not hold back but they’re making me really sad. I’ve told hubby who wants to put people straight but we don’t need to justify ourselves to anyone. The best way of payback is ignoring them as they must want a reaction mustn’t they?
I think because it’s shark week everything is effecting me more than normal idk
2 Likes
Sorry to hear that @Alyssa646, I hope you manage to get it back ok 
, sending hugs 
1 Like
I hope you get it sorted @Alyssa646 and you’re ok. You’re right you shouldn’t have to justify how you spend your money, that money is for you, you’re entitled to it and spend it however you want to, I got stick for it as you know 
spend it on whatever makes you happy, and you deserve it 
1 Like
Sorry I thought I’d replied here yesterday @Knight1119 & @Dirty-Wife
The phone is definitely gone forever which is shit but we live and learn 
thank you for your words it means alot 
Some people eh? Imagine thinking only people who have a 9-5 deserve a holiday, ridiculous! Everyone deserves to enjoy themselves n this will be like our honeymoon cos we have only had the wedding package where we stayed in the hotel 3 nights. We got there the day before the wedding and had 2 nights after we become man n wife 
But we’ve had nothing since that together, I go back to see family in the west midlands but hubs stays here cos of commitments making it easier that way. N let’s be honest it’s not holiday material where I’m from, doe get ms wrong I love going down but hubs aint very keen anyways.
Did yous have some fun with yours n hubs backdated pay yet @Dirty-Wife I hope that you manage to spend lots of it on nice things for yourself as you soooo deserve it after all the fighting it’s taken to get what you deserve. I’m sooooo glad it’s all finally sorted now fya bab 
It’s hurting me that we’re clearly the talk of the town with 2 people in less than 2 day’s making digs at me like we don’t deserve it. How dare people judge us like that, we’ve paid for it so why don’t we deserve it? Even if we won the holiday then we’d deserve it, you know if I was a liar I’d tell people that knowing that they grudge us 
I was thinking aswell it’s unprofessional of a store worker to say what she said whilst serving me ain’t it?
I might make a complaint about her as I have really bad anxiety, social anxiety n get bad attacks of it when people are being mean. This woman used to be lovely to us but since the girl was nasty to me at the start of covid n I dared defend myself leading to 3 of the staff attempting to bully me n hubs everything has changed. You think you know people then you see their true colours when a pandemic or something occurs.
I’d best stop ranting on or it’ll be like a book reply 
thank you for your nice reply too hun
2 Likes
I must admit @Alyssa646 I have brought a few things 
but most of them in the sale, and I should have my birthday discount soon so I’ll be getting a few things with that too. The best thing to do is ignore them easier said than done I know, but it’s like sticking your 2 fingers up at them that’s what will get to them most. Cos they want you to react to them, but don’t give them the satisfaction, hold your heads up high. You know you deserve that money and it’s your business what you spend it on. Some people get off on doing things like that but it just shows what type of people they are.
1 Like
Good for you @Dirty-Wife you deserve it so don’t ever feel guilty for treating yourself, like I said before if you wanted to spend every penny of your backdated pip on sex toys, BDSM, lingerie & essentials then you’re perfectly within your rights n as for your hubs carers allowance same applies, that’s like a wage a bit of extra for taking care of you not that he’ll mind especially with how well rewarded he is 
You’re spot on, some people get off on trying to upset others which is mean. Silence does annoy people more than reacting don’t it I used to always say exactly what came to mind with people but hubs has been helping me learn to keep my trap shut cos I daint have the ability until recently
1 Like