Well, maybe ask your doctor or Citizens Advice? Or try Google?
It just seems so sad that you are still carrying around the ill effects of that bullying, you deserve better, and some form of counselling may help you. If your OH sees it helping you, it may inspire her to try it again?
As you know, there’s always us here, if you need to talk or vent, and most of us have experienced similar stuff.
I know i have, so don’t feel angry, frustrated or alone, we are here to help, just as you help others with your kind, caring responses to others.
Your GP is a good place to start. Their initial response may be to offer antidepressants such as SSRI’s to combat negative feelings and help you in the short term.
In my experience SSRI medicines have tended to treat my symptoms (depression related) rather than address the underlying causes, so the symptoms reappeared a little while after stopping, and they’ve never had a big effect on anxiety.
My best advice is to approach your doctor with a desired outcome front and centre of your query: perhaps this might be to address trauma from your schooldays, saying how it’s affecting you today. things like low self esteem, self criticism, anxiety, disrupted sleep, unhealthy behaviours or whatever you’re feeling. Requesting help with a specific desired outcome can help them to target the best resources.
In my understanding, talking therapies fall into three basic categories; Psychodynamic (eg. Freudian & Jungian psychotherapy), Behavioural (eg. Cognitive Behavavioral Therapy), and Humanistic.
I’ve only encountered the last two, and got way more out of the Humanistic approach for addressing my issues from the past.
CBT was useful for me in overcoming a psychological barrier I had due to feeling anxiety around a certain activity, and reducing the anxiety, but didn‘t address the underlying problems.
But everyone‘s different.
Thanks for the advice @Knottydevil, to be honest I haven’t heard of any of those - Psychodynamic (eg. Freudian & Jungian psychotherapy), Behavioural (eg. Cognitive Behavavioral Therapy), and Humanistic.
Quite a lot of therapists/counselors now use a combination of different types of therapy depending on the client and what they want to work through. It can sometimes take a few goes to find the right therapist for you but when you do it can really change things for you. After I had counselling I had people who I only knew in passing say I seemed like a different person.
I had CBT first and I wasn’t right for me and I did end up having to pay as the wait for any other type of therapy was a lot but it was worth every penny.
Thanks @AmyA, that’s great you had successful treatment. I get emails virtually everyday advertising counselling and wellbeing through work, but I feel very uneasy using them because I don’t want anyone knowing my problems either at work or outside work.
Likely not the right place to post but I didn’t want to create something new and I’m ranting so here we are! I cannot, for love or lack or trying, seem to orgasm right now! We’ve had a dry spell of late due to illness, being shattered, kids being here, you name it.
Our last two fun times ( including about half an hour ago) have resulted in no happy ending for me.
I can get to the point ok, but then just as I’m about to tumble over its like a bucket of cold water and its gone. I know I’m stressed, I know I’m putting pressure on myself and I know I’m over thinking it. But I can’t help it. Its been about 3 weeks and godammit I need to cum!
It doesn’t matter if I play, we both play, I use toys or don’t. I’m so bloody frustrated I feel like a bear with a sore head.
Right I’ve got that off my chest now. Maybe it will help
Not trivial at all, cos it’s affecting your mental health. All i can say is that life is often very stressful and it can affect even your pleasure. Just know that it’s not permanent and it will pass. Don’t focus on an orgasm, just keep doing what gives you pleasure. In the end, not pressuring yourself, will eventually achieve your goal.
Thank you! I know it will happen in the end but its so frustrating. I’m starting a new job tomorrow so fingers crossed after that stress I might have a relaxing evening
I’m sure if you keep at it it’ll cum! At least it’s an enjoyable thing to be doing whilst trying
I can imagine the frustration though! Going to be some mess I’d imagine when you finally get to release
I’m ok thanks @CurvyJilly, just burying myself in work. I started looking at Counselling websites, it’s a real minefield, but just trying to get my head round which counsellors would be the most helpful.
We can get counselling through work via an independent company so it should all be anonymous and work doesn’t need to know. Think most companies now have some sort of mentall well-being scheme, or maybe if you’re in a union they will have access? As always, there’s someone here to at all hours.
