Trying to get through to the doctors, an automated message telling me I’m nearly number 40 in the queue 
Disgusting isn’t it, and your being charged to wait on the phone. Hope you’re ok!
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It’s rubbish mate, nothing serious thanks.
So, I’ve had to work up the nerve to do this. Reading the thread it looks like this is where i can let it all out. I think it’s easier in some ways here to people who I don’t know personally, i apologise in advance.
Life is super stressful at the moment. Although there is some light at the end of the tunnel, I feel like Im crawling to reach it, and I dont know how much strength I have.
My mum was diagnosed with cancer november last year and died in April after a very sudden decline. She was young (inly just turned 61), was the most hands on to help with my children, and was the person who I could talk to about absolutely anything. I would go to her for advice and my children absolutely adored her. Although my dad, and husbands parents are still alive, none of them are quite the same with my children (she took being granny with such enthusiasm). Im the oldest of my siblings, so its been mostly down to me to support dad with the will and funeral. My siblings are great, and they have been involved and supported in other ways.
On top of this I have been completing my MA in social work, and I was on my final placement when mum got ill. I just have my dissertation tongo, which im working theough but its been a real struggle.
I have a job lined up for after I qualify (in social work), which will be welcome in many ways after having such a tight 2 years whilst studying on limited income. Alongside this I set up a business (also in social work) in December (because i wasn’t busy enough!!). A friend of mine presented an opportunity and it was too good to pass up. Business is going well, and we’ve been offered an opportunity for expansion. However, I now need to work out how to line this up with my other job (I need the other to complete my newly qualified year, but if I don’t take the opportunity with my business i will miss it).
My husband works long and unpredictable hours, so he’s not often around leaving me feeling like Im raising the children alone (they are 5 and 7). Its been like this for a long time, although it feels like its steadily gotten worse. I dont even know what time he’ll finish each day/night. However, he has been successful in getting a new job which will have him working from home more, actually have 2 days off a week and have fairly regular hours. Im counting down the days!
It feels like in some ways I’ve powered through the hardest part, and there’s a few bits left but those just feel too much. Its like I’ve suddenly run out of steam. There’s some positives coming, although I know I’ll have more struggles to.come, especially getting through the future without mum.
Im not sure what I’m hoping for from this, but I felt like I needed to lay it out somewhere as I’ve just been holding it together.
Sorry for the long, long post, and thank you if you’re still reading!!
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I’m so sorry to hear about your mum @Shelly24 
, you’re doing an amazing job, sending some hugs for comfort 
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There are a lot of members here also juggling complicated lives so feel free to rant or ask for advice as there’s a lot of experience here and helpful and supportive members. Above all, look after your own wellbeing, as you are the centre of it all. 
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Most people’s lives were challenging enough before the pandemic and many are struggling through the remains . I just wish the world governments would remember that they work for the people and not mega corporations of billionaires . Under the banner of “SAVE THE PLANET” or the green deal to force everybody into electric cars they are bankrupting many people . They do not consider that mining all the toxic minerals and processing just for the batteries is a large long term does great harm to the planet . Then there is the “tiny” problem of exactly where are they going to get all the electricity to charge billions of electric cars ? There , I feel better venting a bit .
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Lately when I’ve been out shopping and gone to a cheap shop that would have sold a bottle of water for like 30p now only sells them in massive crates. What if I only need one to carry around with me while I’m out? I know there’s lots of other drinks there and stuff, but how come I can’t buy a single water like the rest of them?
I mean, it’s kind of a good thing when I think about it. Now I’ll be more likely to bring a sports bottle with me from home filled with tap water instead since I know what I can’t get when I’m out. Go green or go thirsty 
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What the fuck I’m so angry i went in for my first day i was teamed up with someone who was rude to me and then at the end of the day i was told I’m not needed for the rest of the week.
That’s disgusting, and sadly i have heard similar tales of agency work. Hopefully you get something more permanent with better colleagues.
@WillC I handed my notice in last week for the job i had, this new job is kind of like a dream job for me.
Now I’m stuck in limbo. I sent a email to the agency firm but not rude. I’m on medication that has to be taken at strick times. So over the weekend i changed the times for when i got up as it was alot earlier.
The person they teamed me up with was so grumpy to start with he didn’t like it when i said i don’t know what I’m doing as i haven’t been shown. swearing just making me feel very uncomfortable.
Thats awful! This was the permanent job too so how does that make sense. I would be feeling really frustrated.
@JoCat I’m feeling really frustrated and a bit emotional. The advert is still up Mon-Friday 6am start temp to permanent.
Hopefully the agency will get back to me, this has happened before with the same agency and same business. That time i was willing to over look it because i think wires got crossed they thought i was just wanting to cover for when people are ill or on holiday. I told them that’s not what i wanted, then two months later they got hold of me again saying the business is looking for someone to join them permanently. The agency said we have to drop the wages down to what the business pays as the job is temp to permanent.
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It is completely normal to feel emotional and you need to allow yourself feel your feelings. I’d be wanting to kill dead things!
I didn’t kill any dead things 
but i was shouting swearing and mumbling to myself about the business on my way home, i was driving so nobody could hear
That’s one thing i do, i let my emotions out keeping things bottled up isn’t good I’m not into this macho bull about men not showing their feelings.
Fck that, scream it out when you need to! Its therapeutic!
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He sounds a right arse. Any normal person would understand a new starter will be unfamiliar and need a bit of guidance. It takes nothing to be pleasant.
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Totally agree, I stood up for myself and said you need to show me how to do things, he still didn’t well accept for some paperwork then he did the rest of the job himself for the whole day.
I’m pretty sure you aren’t suppose to smoke but he was and I’m pretty sure he was doing it on purpose as he asked me if i smoke i said now then he said fuckinng great start, for the whole day he was chain smoking. So in all i had a bad awful day.
Yeah smoking is not allowed in the workplace or in works vans, even if you’re driving alone. So he was not only being a git, he was breaking the law.
I knew about not smoking in work places never knew you weren’t allowed to smoke in vans.
I do hope the agency will get back to me as I’m going to tell them how i was treated forom the time i got there. In the email i sent i said it was very unprofessional between them and the business.