Sick of being ignored and not listened to, either by people not wearing their hearing aids or just not listening to me, feel like a fucking ghost sometimes.
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Who said that ??? Only joking
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I can relate WillC . Often people can not hear me , but they can not see me also . My wife uses earbuds all the time , so she often does not hear what I say . So I repeat whatever I said louder , then she says " you don’t have to yell ! " . Also to go with listening to whatever she is watching , she talks louder . One of my pet peeves is when someone asks me what to do and I suggest what to do . Then they ignore my advice and later complain how whatever it related to failed or was screwed up . I am also pretty tired of dropping what I am doing to help anybody , but if I need a hand , nobody has the time . It is often hell , getting older ! I often think of a line in the movie The Postman where the Kevin Costner asks an old Vet " what are you doing here , you can’t ride " . The old vet says " I know stuff " . Also from the Red Green show , where he often says " remember , we are all in this together " .
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Exactly! I do my mum’s shopping, and she knows roughly what time to expect me, so she leaves her front door open, i repeatedly tell her not to for her own safety. So yesterday I go straight in with her shopping and even though I accidentally hit the door knocker as I went in, she still said I nearly frightened her to death when I went into the kitchen. I said “you should wear your hearing aids then, especially if you’re having company” So frustrating having to repeat yourself or shout to be heard! I have a brother and sister who live within 1.5 miles of our mum, but I am the one who does the most for her, just cos I live a couple of streets away. I visit at least every other day, and Saturday and Sunday on my weekends off, she gets one visit a week off them.
Same as you i am known for my pragmatism and am often asked for advice by family and workmates, and it’s especially annoying when I give them sound, unbiased advice and they do the opposite and end up with more problems. I always help people if they need a hand with anything.
Like you I care for a wife with ongoing, progressive, debilitating health issues as well as working part time and doing the majority of the household chores and i do them to a very high standard. But when I need a bit of help or support I feel like the invisible man, ignored and uncared about.
Sometimes I just need to vent! 
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I have found, when I cared for my mother and father, that the one who helps the most is the one taken for granted. Then when the one who helps the least is the one that gets all the praise and when they do visit you never hear the last of how good they are. My mother especially was really mean to me, used to call me fat and I was smaller than her! and she would talk about me behind my back to my sister but she would tell me what was said. My father was ok but he still preferred my sister and would give her petrol money to visit even though I did everything for them. Well they are gone now.
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Not as much of a rant as a whining . Those of us that are care givers are stressed pretty much every day , it varies day by day on the level . Once you retire , your budget becomes more "interesting " . We have a dog that is with my wife 24 / 7 . Last week she woke me up about 1 AM , he was having some kind of problem and she insisted he go to a 24 hour emergency vet . I will spare you the details . In the end , he had much worse problem there and had to be transported to another 24 hour emergency vet . We brought him home Sunday evening . I have bought cars for less money than the two pet emergency rooms cost . He is five and a half years old . Our state has been spending money like it was nothing for years , but have really stepped it up over the last 10 years . Just this year , they have added or increased taxes on over 25 items . Instead of working for the legal voters , they have their own agenda . Us retires are rather set in our incomes and the increased cost of living here is fast approaching the max our income can handle . We have been looking at possibly moving to another , less insane state . The added financial stress does not help me with my normal stress of taking care of my wife . I am by nature rather frugal , I wish elected officials could learn from me ! There , I feel slightly better .
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Yes vet bills can be astronomical. The vet i have used for over 30 years has been taken over by another local vet. Earlier this year I gave my wife the money to have our dog’s vaccination booster based on last years price. She came home and said it had doubled! (She wasn’t ripping me off, she had the receipt!)
So I did some research and discovered a vet within walking distance of home is much cheaper. So next year i will be using them and f**k loyalty!
I used to insure our dogs, but once the previous one became diabetic, the premiums kept getting stupid each year, so now i don’t.
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I know what you mean. Over a period of six months I have had vets bills of over £2000 just for tests on two cats. Mainly blood tests and having to stay at the vets only to be told there was nothing they could do (cancer) so had to have them put down.
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I really feel for you @Wood-Nymph Our cat has a skin cancer, we were told she had about 2 months , it is now 18 months on and she is still with us and doing ok.
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Both of our two was internal and one could not keep food down we tried all sorts of things but it was pancreatic cancer, the other had lung cancer and was really struggling to breath so in both cases it was the kindness thing to do. I sat with both while it was done and they went very peacfully.
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Not a rant to be fair, but frustration. I just finished with my seventh therapist, I had hoped that I would have felt an improvement in my well being/state of mind by now (just over two and a half years), before I first started, I was encouraged to talk about my feelings/issues, but I feel exactly the same as before I started. It’s been a very expensive journey. I guess therapy doesn’t help everyone, sorry for the gloomy post.
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Youll just need to find what suits you, therapy can give you toolboxes of ways to deal with events / the past. Find something that males you happy and stick with it, if not move on …
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I was referred to a therapist for after a bereavement and I lasted one session. I just knew it wasn’t for me, as the therapist didn’t come across as understanding why i felt like i did and he didn’t inspire confidence in him. I sorted myself out by analysing myself and being honest with myself, and learning to put MY needs before a host of others. This was nearly 30 years ago, before online information and advice was available. So maybe try a bit of research online regarding the issues you have that make you think you require therapy. Good luck, and you know we are a helpful bunch.
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A pet peeve is “perfect” people. My wife has a friend, let’s call her Mandy (not her real name!) who’s retired and makes all her own cleaning products, yoghurt, clothes etc. I often joke she has way too much time on her hands. Today we were shopping and I was looking at chocolate granola. My wife tells me Mandy makes her own. I reply “why am I not surprised, I bet she grows her own feckin oats and wheat too” 
Also hoodies…the drawstrings on the hoods, I always remove them cos they offend my OCD traits by never hanging evenly, plus i never pull them tight anyway. It always seems to be one side hanging by my nipples and the other by my bollocks! Plus one always gets covered in toothpaste when I clean my teeth!
Rant over!
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Thanks @WillC. I should never have tried therapy, I should have kept it to myself.
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Thanks @Craig1234 It’s my fault for being naive, I’ll deal with it on my own.
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Normally perfect to the people on the outside but probably lots of unhappiness hidden away behind closed doors. When I was temporarily seeing nutritionists because of a awful breakup I was told to stay away from social media as it was Christmas, lots of people looking like everything is great but in fact it’s just for show.
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Absolutely. Social media users only show you the highlights, rarely the reality. I don’t care what car people drive, or what registration year it has, or how much someone’s house is worth or where they go on holiday. In reality they’re probably up to their eyeballs in debt just to maintain the image.
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Sorry I shouldn’t laugh but that’s too funny 
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I giggled at that too and I bet they are organic
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