I don’t know how they do it. We’re intelligent confident women and yet a man can still make us doubt ourselves to the point where we accept their downright awful behaviour because it was somehow our fault they did it.
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Ive said he has narcissistic personality disorder. He reels off a great sob story. The world is against him. I just believe its karma what happens to him.
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They suck, and this kind of behaviour will leave them lonely in the end. They deserve to be lonely and everyone they’ve hurt deserves to move on and find happiness. I can tell you now every day I am distancing myself more and more, and hopefully one day I’ll have stopped caring about whether he’s happy or not.
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He will at least contact me everyday regarding our child then ask how I am/ what I’m up to etc or if I don’t reply hell message a for the record and say something about the relationship or say he wishes things weren’t like this etc etc then we end up getting into a conversation then it’s going round in circles again
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Definitely more complicated when other people are involved. Obviously contact can’t be severed entirely so it ends up messy. Could you potentially put your foot down and refuse to reply to messages unless they concern your child?
Yeah it’s amazing how similar people are! He’s never provided for him. to be honest I’ve never expected it. He called SS in January! RSPCA he really laid it on thick. Put our son in the system through his own spitefullness. Now he won’t co parent due to his mental health issues… The same ones he had in January when he called them. I know deep down we will never be a family again and to be honest our son is happier this way because he’s never been a father figure to him. It’s dawning on me which of us is in control and it’s not me x
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@Orgasmchaser another reason to cut the cord, there`s a chap out there for you, who will also be a proper father figure to your lad.
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@Orgasm_Chaser, sorry to hear, you deserve much better.
Thanks guys. Amazing what goes on behind the dildos and butt plugs
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Stay strong @Orgasm_Chaser, been there (still there to an extent!) I know every interaction is a new battle to be fought and how tiring it is - always remember you are worth so much more xxxx
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@VanillaWithSprinkles @Orgasm_Chaser
Sorry to hear that you’re both going through such shitty times. Hopefully things will sort themselves out pretty soon.
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Thanks @Purring-Pussy,nice to see you back on the forum too
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Thank you @Purring-Pussy. X
@WillC …just had to share, I’ve just had a call with the standard “Our records show that you’ve been involved in an accident that wasn’t your fault…”
I replied straight away with, “Yes, I have, I died” and the caller hung up! How rude 
. Much, much quicker escape than denying it over and over. I will always do this from now on 
Thanks.
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@Peitho try the new pants one as well! 
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Ok this is mostly just to get it off my chest because i only talk to a couple of people in real life and i think if i keep telling my friend she’s going to end up punching someone.
I’m a student at university, studying biological sciences about to do my masters year and currently still living at home. It’s worth mentioning here that the age I’m at is the age my sister moved out to become a full time teacher which is probably why this has become so much worse recently. I have a lot of mental health conditions including quite severe anxiety, oscillating depression and autism (all of which were diagnosed late which exacerbated some issues). I also may have a joint condition as I’ve been experiencing a lot of pain moving, but nothing officially diagnosed yet.
Recently my mum especially has become virtually obsessed with me getting a full time job and basically being normal. I struggle with self care and she expects me to be able to do everything she wants perfectly fine despite documented issues going back years regarding food, hygiene, routines and social interaction. I’ve mentioned wanting to try working part time as i think I’d cope with that better and have been ranted at about how it’d be a waste of my brain. There have been many occasions when i have voluntarily come to make food only to be ranted at about the portion or what I’m planning to eat which makes me even more anxious and nauseated and therefore even less motivated to eat. I have been yelled at many times about how i should be able to be trusted to feed myself what they consider sufficient amounts (despite me trying to explain I’m upping it slowly), about how i need to actually push myself (which they don’t seem to understand i already am pushing so hard) and most recently that i ‘need to stop hiding behind my condition’ and that i ‘rely on others too much’. It’s gotten to the point where I’m incredibly uncomfortable leaving my room while she’s home (prompting further rants about how i ‘spend all day in my f***ing room’). Her and my dad are both expecting me to do everything available careers related at uni this year, on top of my modules, a 12,000 word lab research project and all the issues due to the virus.
With the way my mum’s acting it’s seeming more and more like she’s expecting me to be completely normal before i graduate, to be a completely healthy adult in a full time challenging job that doesn’t ‘waste my brain’. I don’t care if a job wastes my brain, i just want to find a way to be happy.
All the yelling, ranting, smarmy comments and stuff like that is just really upsetting me. I hate lying but I’ve actually started faking having eaten more so they won’t yell about that as much. The whole situation is just incredibly upsetting and makes me realise how little mum must think of me or know me with everything she says. It’s making everything worse honestly, because even 1 of my grandparents has started the careers rant and going there used to be one of the only places outside my room i felt safe (though if nothing else she noticed she upset me, though my mum immediately dismissed those concerns since it’s stuff she’s talking to me about anyway so why would i be upset). Whenever i try to explain why something won’t work or my thought process i get yelled/ranted at about making excuses and about how i have ‘an answer for everything’ and her basically refusing to listen. I can’t even try to explain physical issues like my joints because she seems convinced that more time outside and loads of exercise will fix everything (despite a literal physio telling me to start of with 5 minute walks).
All the yelling, ranting and passive aggressive remarks just seem to keep getting worse and there’s no where i can go anymore (my friend’s house isn’t an option since her family are even worse in different ways). My anxiety is worse than ever and even the depression seems to be getting worse since i honestly don’t see the point in getting out of bed a lot of the time (even with my antidepressants already in my system). So yeah. That’s a rough summary of what’s been going on
Sorry to hear your having a shit time of it @Ace12345 wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, hope ranting on here has helped a little and hopefully someone will have some good advice for you Cos I’m useless at this kind of thing
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@Ace12345 i feel your pain, you seem to be doing everything you can to please your mother, but she’s comparing you to your sister. As for getting a part time job, it will be a good thing, you will earn money, socialise and most important, gain experience. I know someone who went to Uni, his parents thought a part time job in a shop was beneath him. But in the job market, any kind of work experience is a bonus. He is now nearly 27 and still jobless, despite a degree. You really need to start doing things to make YOU happy. Also, you seem to imply an eating disorder, so please get help with it. There`'s not a lot i can add, and i know it’s very hard still living with your parents. Maybe write a letter similar to this post, explaing your concerns, and give it to your mom to read. At the very least, it may make her think, and seeing it written down rather than having a slanging match with you may help more. You also mention joint pain, you need to visit the doctor, it could be Rheumatoid Arthritis, my wife was struck down with it in her early 40’s, and i have a friend who’s daughter got it at 18. Good luck, and you know you can get support and advice from us.
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Ace, this is heartbreaking. 
This is really dangerous. Please don’t do this. If you’re having trouble with your eating habits get yourself to the GP for some professional advice. If it’s gotten serious then it will impact your body, as it needs a certain amount of nutrition to work properly (let alone be healthy). This could be why your joints are hurting you.
My eating habits aren’t clinical, but they’re definitely rubbish (I’m far better at looking after other people than looking after myself 
). Chunky soups are good (and easy on the throat if you’ve not eaten in a while), quick and simple foods like couscous are easy (takes minutes to make, and you can mix in things like diced salad and crumbled up falafal, etc for flavour and extra nutrition 
). And having something ready-made in the fridge to pick at is a real winner for me.
And you’ll also be surprised how much a healthier diet is connected to good mental health. If you’re anaemic, for instance, you’ll feel really low on energy, and everything starts to feel so much harder and more miserable.
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So sorry to hear you’re having a terrible time @Ace12345, I also think talking to your doctor sounds like a good start 
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