Hello, I have been subjected to sexual assault from what was my fiancé. Obviously since this, meeting people and getting into other relationships has been a huge no-no for me! It’s been two years, April just gone. And think it’s a catch 22, can’t build trust as I can’t bring myself to think about relationships again. However from therapy and councilling I am able to say the incident has made me a stronger person and I am independent and determined to move on :) a few close friends know about the matter and one specifically is quite close to me and there’s a bit of a friends/maybe more feeling going on for a while. He has offered to help me to take the jump with him. I know I trust him, he knows and he is able to stop or take slow as I wish so sounds good on paper. But I’m still unsure. :/
BambiLou23 wrote:
Hello, I have been subjected to sexual assault from what was my fiancé. Obviously since this, meeting people and getting into other relationships has been a huge no-no for me! It’s been two years, April just gone. And think it’s a catch 22, can’t build trust as I can’t bring myself to think about relationships again. However from therapy and councilling I am able to say the incident has made me a stronger person and I am independent and determined to move on :) a few close friends know about the matter and one specifically is quite close to me and there’s a bit of a friends/maybe more feeling going on for a while. He has offered to help me to take the jump with him. I know I trust him, he knows and he is able to stop or take slow as I wish so sounds good on paper. But I’m still unsure. :/
Thanks for sharing this with everyone, that's so strong in itself! So glad u are going to counselling and it's mad how working thru trauma can make u stronger in other ways where it may have been lacking (I've certainly learned this about myself and it's a really interesting and positive factor you've highlighted). I never thought about my bad experiences in this way b4, in that there are positives that can actually come out of it for me (and others that have been thru similar) as a person. Thanks for this. 😊
I hope u find the trust in ur friend and the confidence to take things further, but that is up to u and at ur own pace. I'm glad to hear he understands to take things slow, but for your own sake and wellbeing he needs to stick to this, as I'm sure u will stress to him again. If it were me, I'd try and give it a go if u really like the guy, taking things at the pace u want to and if things don't feel right 4 u, explain and call it off. You've done so well so far and even contemplating this decision reflects how much stronger u are getting. U are in control of ur own feelings and destiny...so maybe try to enjoy the fact (as long as u feel u can trust them) that someone obviously cares about u a lot and as u so rightly say, is prepared to 'make that jump with u' - sounds pretty amazing 2 me!. x
Do let me know how u get on and thanks so much for talking bout' it all. Warmest wishes 2 u! 😊😉
Hi all, quick update;
Sorry to steal the thread, starting physio again soon/pain management as been having problems with hips, neck and back. I hope they can help me, already keep active and do excercises for the different body parts. (I was hit on the motorway by an arctic lorry when I was driving 12 years ago! so this has not helped things physically). I can still enjoy my sex life, it's the one thing I can hold on to if you can understand. It keeps me 'active and happy' as it is also a brilliant way to excercise!! If I find certain positions a bit trying, we just try something else and persevere! I'm hoping (with fingers tightly crossed!!) to be lucky enough to test some 'position items' one day, there is the 'hipster' that has been on the tester list twice recently and I wonder that it could make things so much more comfortable and pleasurable for me. I can imagine it would support my body more, especially as it's in the hip area. I may not be lucky enough on this occasion, but it looks wonderful for me and hubby to try! Shame the spreader bar has gone, would've loved 2 have tried using it 'lying on the bed' for a bit of spanking lol! 😯
I believe disabled people should get to have as 'fullfilling' a sex life (within their personal means) as anyone else. Is anyone else a pain sufferer on here and how do they cope and keep the flame going, even when it is a bad day for them? (whether single or with OH). Thanks all. x
With sorting all my other issues out at the moment, I hope to deal with my pain a bit better and continue to progress forward positively with my life! x Everyone on here is keeping me strong, 'how lovely!' 😊