Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Divorced_disabled_single, 15 Sep 2017
THRUST Pro Elite Layla Realistic Vagina & Ass 3kg

Fantastic

I was new to these products last year, I’m a disabled 30 something and currently I’m not in a position to enter into any form of relationship mainly because I cannot give “everything” that’s required so, I began with the much cheaper and smaller items but, my advice after buying this is don’t waste your cash on the cheaper ones as you definitely get what you pay for.

My only concerns with this were temperature and cleaning as it’s not open-ended, the fact it’s not open-ended gives it a massively realistic feel but makes it that bit more difficult to clean and creates some small noises as the suction releases but, again this is realistic.

In the past I’ve used hot water to heat the cheaper ones up but, this washes off the powder making the “skin” sticky and, with the size of this it’s quite difficult so, to resolve the temperature issues I’ve been using a wheat bag around it with a quilt or towel ensures it’s warmed, do this for 5-10 minutes before you’d like to use it but, check the temperature with your finger inside both parts before using to ensure you’re not going to be burned, I found adding lube resolved any areas that were too hot.

Cleaning isn’t as difficult as I first thought, it sits nicely in a sink and allows all parts to be washed. If a condom is used this is much easier to keep clean, however, that’s down to the owner.

Small negatives are:

• The pink colouring around the labia has almost gone now, after 2 uses.

• The vaginal entrance isn’t as tight as I’d have expected, the anal entrance is tighter.

• Because of the weight, the packaging is very thick which means I can’t shred the manufacturer’s box it came in, disposal isn’t going to be easy as the manufacturer’s packaging has a full-size picture.

Storage:

I read up on previous comments about this but wasn’t put off. I’ve found the plastic liner that comes with Layla can be cut down and placed in an empty drawer, the same applies with the lid meaning, when stored it’s protected by the plastic shell which fits perfectly in a small bedside drawer type chest and there’s enough space to add a towel over the top to hide it.

I always ensure it’s fully dry before storing and have placed some packets of silica in the draw it’s stored away in just to prevent any moisture damage.

Positives of this are:

• It feels real in terms of skin, texture and when using.

• It doesn’t move when you’re using it.

• It can be used as girl on top as the “hips” are big enough.

• I noticed when applying lube how realistic the internal detailing felt, this is replicated when using.

• It is actually more discreet than I first thought.

• The two holes feel genuinely different.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The realistic feeling is genuinely worth every penny!

Cons: The colouring failure isn’t great.

Bottom Line: Don’t be a prude, just buy and try it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @FBS21, 01 Sep 2017
Venus Butterfly 10 Function Hands-Free Vibrator

Amazing

I bought this as my first proper sex toy. I have always assumed vibrators were vaginal only, and being a clit girl I saw little point in getting anything other than a cheap and handy bullet vibrator. Boy, I was wrong!

The material is jelly-like meaning it moves like an actual butterfly (see the videos if you don’t believe me!) And super soft against the skin. The material also makes it tacky on the skin, meaning it doesn’t move around while on, which was my worry being hands-free. I’m quite a skinny girl, so was slightly worried about the straps being too loose, but they fitted nicely with plenty of expansion room.

The actual vibrator part is out of the rubber butterfly shape, to begin with. There were no instructions on how to get it in. As I was a little confused given I couldn’t see anything but a small hole for the wire, I worked out that you have to push it through that tiny hole while stretching it. It’s a little fiddly and may require another hand, but it makes sense since you don’t want it falling out during use.

I wasn’t sure if I would be a fan of all of the pattern settings, as opposed to a flat and constant vibrate, but I absolutely loved them I could see how each would have its uses depending on the situation.

My only concern is with the wings which the straps are attached to, I’m worried after a few uses they may break off, but we’ll have to wait and see. I guess it’s not really a problem with 1 year guarantee.

I was originally worried about cleaning the product as it’s the sort of material to pick up fluff easily, but the Lovehoney toy and body wipes make this completely clean every time, so I would highly recommend buying them as well.

One thing is for sure, I will never be without this again!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Comfortable, soft, great settings.

Cons: No instructions for putting vibrator into butterfly.

Bottom Line: Super fun and hard to put down!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @LIL_KNOWN69, 28 Sep 2017
Fifty Shades of Grey Again and Again Adjustable Cock Ring

Laters baby

Prompt service as always from Lovehoney. My partner ordered this as a surprise for us when we had a long weekend away and it really does take your cock the extra mile. The package arrived next day discreetly and our excitement for a new Fifty Shades toy to add to our collection was at breaking point.

Packaging and what’s in the box?

The box is beautiful as with all the Fifty Shades of Grey items. Nice detailing showing the ring in all its glory and an extract from the book, and once opened you get a foil wrapped cock ring, which makes this seem very professional and also rather clinical and clean.

Inside the box you receive the following:

1 x Cock ring.

How to control the toy and what does it do?

The silicone cock ring is used to enhance both your stamina and also engorge the penis to its full potential. Simply adjust the small plastic toggle by holding the button and pulling the silicone strap to fit the girth of your penis. This can go either around the base of your penis or behind the balls depending on where you feel most comfortable. Once you have adjusted to fit, make sure it is not uncomfortable and carry on with your play session. You may require a little bit of lubricant or spittle to make the lasso slightly more comfortable when adjusting.

Experience:

After some heavy petting we decided to give the ring a road test and see just how good the toy was. We have had many of the toys from the Fifty Shades collection and have never been let down. The quality and beauty of the toys and packaging is excellent and it’s nice to see a movie has now produced this line of products.

The ring is made of a very soft and stretchy silicone and will fit most girths. Being above average, it was a very comfortable fit and with a little bit of lubricant it glided down my shaft extremely comfortably and was silky smooth. The small toggle to adjust the toy was excellent and smaller than a lot of ones we have tried, which is ideal.

After adjusting the strap to the required length and size I was truly astounded by what I was packing below. It really did give me a lot more size and even though it did numb sensations a little it felt amazing. My partner couldn’t resist and her eyes grew instantly when she saw the size of my member. We both had an incredible night and I would highly recommend this toy for the quality and price.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The design is excellent and the quality of the ring is amazing, soft and silky.

Cons: Nothing to dislike.

Bottom Line: Excellent and high-quality toy from the FSOG collection, definitely would recommend to anyone.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Captainmeow, Oct 2017
Lovehoney Deluxe Magic Wand Couple’s Gift Bundle

Great bundle for couples

I was very excited to receive this his and hers bundle. Having used Lovehoney’s wands before, I knew that at the very least I would enjoy the wand. Spoiler alert: we ended up enjoying everything!

All the items in this bundle can be purchased separately, and so within my plain brown box I found each item in their individual packaging. As there are 4 separate products, I will briefly go over each one and attempt to review how they function together as a bundle. As is evident from the product page, you get the latest iteration of Lovehoney’s full-sized mains-powered wand, a silicone G-spot attachment, a TPE penis masturbator attachment, and a clutch case to store it all in.

Lovehoney Deluxe Mains Wand:

Clearly the star of the show, this is a well made product. It is 13 inches in length, so it’s pretty sizeable and yet not too hefty. The body is made ABS plastic and silicone head and flexible neck, making this product entirely body safe. The cable runs from the base of the wand and is a generous 2.4m in length - I have yet to find myself in a position where I’m straining for more cable. Here are the things I’ve found using it:

It is incredibly powerful. I rarely go any further than 3 speed settings simply because that’s all I need, and I tend to want quite a lot of power.

It’s remarkably quiet for the level of power I get. It’s not whisper quiet - and honestly, I would not expect that from anything this powerful. But I’m still able to confidently use it on the first speed setting under a duvet with the door closed.

The most important point for me: the vibrations themselves are enjoyable! I love a good rumbly vibe, and the lower speeds tend to sit more rumbly then buzzy. It does get buzzier the higher you go, but as I rarely ever use those speeds, it doesn’t affect my experience.
I love that it’s mains-powered. It just means on-demand power as and when I need it, which is brilliant.

G-spot attachment:

Completely silicone, this attachment is also body-safe. It’s soft silicone and has a bit that protrudes out for insertion, ribs on one side and a wee nub on the opposite. This was the attachment I never knew I needed. When it comes to sex toys, I tend to use them primarily for external stimulation, so this never really was something I considered getting. Now, however, I’m really glad I have it.

It does a really good job at transmitting vibrations even though it’s so flexible and soft. In fact, it works so well that I have been using this for more pinpoint clitoral stimulation. The little nub on the other side also helps provide clitoral stimulation without using the G-spot arm. The G-spot arm is quite slim and so will not provide any girth, but the vibrations are still pretty good.

Hummer attachment:

Made of TPE, this is an attachment I would recommend being more careful with when it comes to storage and cleaning. It is completely clear, and so provides some visual stimulation when this is in use. My partner found the little nubs and ribs on the inside of the sleeve pleasurable. He’s not usually one for vibrations, but found it enjoyable nonetheless.

Magic Wand Storage Case:

Made of faux leather, this case is a lot roomier than it initially looks to be. It comfortably held the wand and both attachments, and had room for more items. It’s split into two compartments, and within one of them there is a pouch to house smaller items. I thought this was a very nice touch as it’s very nondescript and functional. I can see this being very useful for bringing my toys along on trips!

All in all, I found this to be an excellent bundle for heterosexual couples. The wand is certainly one for power queens and kings, and both parties can either use the wand on its own or amp things up with the attachments that come with it. The pouch just ties everything together nicely. You could purchase each item on its own, but you do save a fair amount getting this bundle instead, and I think this is well worth it!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Powerful wand with many patterns and speed options, something for everyone included in the bundle

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: If you’re looking for something to satisfy both, this is likely to please!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @JayBea123, 13 Oct 2017
GLUVR USB Rechargeable 6 Function Finger Vibrator

Finally, a new vibrator

We own a lot of sex toys. Rabbits, vibrators, dildos, bullets, plugs, beads, balls, rings, and more! You name it, chances are we’ve got it or had it.

We’re really glad to see Lovehoney continue with their new toy design contests since some really original things keep coming out of it (like the Sqweel and now the GLUVR).

The GLUVR looks like a lot of high-end toys that do hybrid vibrator duty (one vibrator internally and another externally over the clit) but does it in a really unique way.

The ability to slip your fingers into each of the vibrator digits and then bend, twist, and maneuver them into the right spots and with the right firmness (or lack thereof) is great and feels like a really obvious but innovative addition to the nightstand (where the more frequently used toys go).

My husband and I played with it for a good 30 minutes as part of foreplay and then during cowgirl position (with me using the toy at that point). Husband tried out a variety of uses for the GLUVR - thrusting the forefinger in and out, while the thumb remained pretty static over my clit, or thrusting both in tandem, or using both to ‘pinch’ the clit, et cetera.

I really enjoyed it and my husband was able to get me off twice - once with just clitoral stimulation, and once with one finger inside and the other on the clit. I got myself off once more in cowgirl by tucking the thumb unit in my palm and using the finger unit against my clit.

I used it for a bit of teasing on him and he said the feeling was more intense than most vibrating cock rings and but probably not enough to get him off.

Honestly, both of us came away pretty impressed with the range of movement that was available and how that allowed for more use of the toy.

If there was room for improvement, there’d be a few things we’d change:

1. If the finger was increased in size a bit, the ‘insertable’ piece might play a bigger (:D) role in the orgasms outside of just the vibrator.

2. The way that the vibrators are not attached to the sleeve is also different. Time will tell if that is a problem for cleaning or use, but the fact that the vibrator unit can be fully removed from the sleeve is not something you see with any other toys out there.

3. The power plug/cap is also a bit odd and makes me a bit nervous to use in the shower, although the toy is listed as being waterproof.

If Lovehoney eventually does an all-in-one unit, with a slightly elongated finger, I might just toss my rabbit, which is saying something. Even without those improvements, at its price (which seems cheap compared to where most of the toys are going), it’s definitely worth picking up.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Loved the ability to ‘wear the toy’ as a glove, loved the flexibility it brings.

Cons: Wish the finger tip was a bit larger and wish the vibrator was encased.

Bottom Line: Great new toy concept, powerful vibrator, quiet. Welcome addition to my nightstand.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @DreamsOfChi, 13 Oct 2017
Bondage Boutique Black Rose 20 inch Spreader Bar

Spread 'em

I’ve never owned a spreader bar before, but I’ve had one on my wishlist for quite a while. When I saw this beautiful Black Rose product I knew I’d found my first. At 20 inches I thought it would be a good beginner width. Not sure if that will be comfortable for you? Put a tape measure on the floor and stand 20 inches apart (that’s what I did) - you’re welcome! Enough of a distance to make you feel exposed and helpless, but not so much that any muscles are straining.

The product arrives in a simple clear, plastic bag which belies the quality of the item itself. It is surprisingly light but well made. The bar is wrapped in a beautiful embossed black rose design material which feels soft but hardwearing. At each end of the bar is a black ring to which the cuffs are clipped.

The cuffs too are made from the stunning black rose material, the insides are covered in a slightly padded, very soft velvety black material and they are finished off with black satin piping. The velcro fastenings mean they are fully adjustable and will easily fit ankles and wrists of all sizes.

The cuffs themselves are very comfortable to wear. They wrap up nice and tightly, giving you that perfect feeling of security and restraint. Once strapped in, you’re going nowhere but you’ll be totally comfortable so it’s all good.

In terms of how you use this, it’s really up to you. Obviously, walking in a spreader is not a great idea (broken noses are not sexy), though it is possible to stand in this for fairly long periods - for example, while trapped in over the door cuffs. You can wear it on your back, on your front, over your shoulders, behind your back. It’s actually quite helpful for certain positions during sex not to mention during spakings - just use your imagination. It’s also perfectly possible to attach more, possibly longer, cuffs to restrain wrists and ankles at the same time. The whole piece has opened up a world of playtime possibilities.

If you’re toying with the idea of getting your first spreader, you should totally take the plunge anyway because wearing them during play is amazing. This spreader is a great ‘my first’ piece - it’s easy to use, absolutely gorgeous and great quality. I also have it on good authority that it looks damn sexy too. If, however, you already own a spreader but are tempted by this - treat yourself, it’s beautiful.

My only slight issue is that the coating on the rings at the very end of the bar started to chip off very quickly. To the point where, after the scond use, I sat and scratched it all off to reveal the silver underneath. I would have preferred the whole thing to remain black but the silver doesn’t spoil the look of the piece. Just a wee bit disappointed that it wasn’t made out of the same (non-chippable) material as the rest of the metal sections.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: The black rose design, the possibilities.

Cons: The chipping on the rings.

Bottom Line: Stunning piece and so much fun!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @RosyCheek, 16 Oct 2017
Lovehoney Plus Size Elixir Luxury Lace Full Length Corset Set

Glitzy, glamorous and gorgeous

Opening the boring brown box felt like Christmas. I was greeted by a plastic bag containing the most divine corset. My first impression of this was how beautiful it looked. The combination of lace and mesh is always a winner, adding a sparkle thread through the lace only made this even more special. The attention to detail is amazing, each piece links to the next with subtle gold accents throughout. As for the removable suspenders, wow wow wow, they are velvet! That to me screams luxury!I couldn’t wait to try this on.

The corset zips from the front which makes this simple to put on. The back is prelaced in the traditional style with the centre being the ties. I loosened it all the way so I could pull to adjust it to my perfect fit. I am a size 18, over 5’10" with C cup boobage. I don’t have an hourglass figure, I am pretty much tubular and not in the wicked Bill and Ted sense! Anything that can make me seem a little more feminine and less boxy is always a win for me.

I found the easiest way to pull the ribbon in at the back is to stand in front of a full-length mirror. Using that method I was able to make sure the lacing was right and not all over the place. The mesh has quite a bit of stretch to it unlike a traditional corset, it is also plastic boned. It’s not going to pull you in like Spanx but as sure as heck will get you spanked if you’re into that. The corset gave me a more slick silhouette and bought in my waist a little, it also firmed my tummy and oomphed my boobs. It’s comfortable to wear for long periods of time without the feeling of squishing organs.

The corset comes with a delicate G-string. The detail is beautiful and it mirrors the lace on the corset. It is so soft and comfortable, with no itchiness like some lace and metallic thread can be. It really does complete the outfit.

I would definitely say this is more of a bedroom outfit but it under clothing it enhances my figure perfectly. It doesn’t give an unnatural look, just more toned. I feel super sexy in this and my husband adores it on me!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: The fit, comfort, style, velvet suspenders and the glitz!

Cons: Nothing, however a little bit of extra length wouldn’t go a miss.

Bottom Line: This would make the perfect gift for the Queen in your life, or you!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @beeee, 22 Nov 2017
Mantric USB Rechargeable Remote Control Egg Vibrator

Quiet but powerful and so much fun

I bought this toy as an upgrade from a battery-powered similar toy (that I hadn’t used in ages as I keep forgetting to change the batteries). I’m so glad I did!

First Impressions:

The egg, remote and charger were all packaged in individual translucent plastic bags in a foam-lined cardboard box. Discreet and practical.

Charging:

It needs charging up before first use, but the remote and egg can charge simultaneously via the USB cable, which didn’t take long at all. The lights flash while the toys are charging, and are steady when charging is complete. I was particularly impressed that the remote is also rechargeable, so no fuss with batteries at all with this product. My only slight issue was with the unusual angle of the charger pin in the egg, but I checked online and it was right.

Materials:

The egg is lovely and smooth to touch, and is easy to insert and remove but stays put when it should. The string is the same smooth material and is flexible enough to be tucked out of the way, firm enough to help with insertion, and thick enough to avoid any pinching. It is quite long, but I didn’t find that a problem or uncomfortable. Both parts of the toy seem really good quality, and the remote is quite inconspicuous and it wouldn’t be obvious what it is to the casual observer.

Vibrations:

Now for the fun part! There are seven different patterns - including slow and fast pulsing, and a wave pattern (my favourite - it builds quite slowly and hubby was enjoying watching me squirm and my breathing change every time it peaked). The vibrations were pretty powerful for this type of toy - for me, this type of stimulation (on its own) isn’t enough for an orgasm, but oh my goodness is it fun! It was really difficult to concentrate with the egg buzzing away, and when I got used to it, hubby changed the vibration pattern with the remote and that set me off again.

A great feature is that the light strip on the remote indicates the vibration settings by flashing/getting brighter and dimmer. The only problem with this is that when it gets to the ‘off’ setting, the remote continues to flash, so the remote operator thinks it’s still pulsing whilst the egg wearer is frustrated. Once I told hubby that was the ‘off’ setting he used that too as part of the tease!

Battery Life:

I turned the egg and remote on just after we arrived at the restaurant for dinner, and the battery lasted the whole meal and drive home, but stopped a short while after getting home. It doesn’t lose power when the battery is low, it just stops when it’s empty.

Cleaning:

The egg is totally waterproof so cleaning was really easy. The only fiddly bit to clean is the small recessed outline of the on/off button.

Volume:

In the restaurant, and in the car with the engine on, the vibrations weren’t audible at all. It was only in the car with the engine off, or at home, that I could hear it, and even then on the right mode it would just sound like a phone vibrating.

Summary:

Absolutely fantastic for some teasing play when out in public. I love it, and as it’s easily rechargeable I think it’s going to be getting a lot of use!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quiet but powerful and no more need for batteries!

Cons: Not easy to tell from remote if egg is switched off or on pulse mode.

Bottom Line: Absolutely love it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Shadow_Collector, 01 Nov 2017
Lovehoney Wild Romance Red Basque Set

Lovely Fit

The Lovehoney Wild Romance Basque Set was sent to me as a tester item in exchange for an honest review. For reference, I am a 165cm tall size 10 woman with a 32E chest, reviewing the O/S labelled size of this product. If you are close to my measurements, I really hope you find this review helpful.

It arrived promptly and discreetly in an unlabelled grey jiffy bag that gave no indication that there was lingerie inside; perfect for those of us that live with nosy neighbours and/or flatmates.

The Basque set itself is comprised of a Basque and a mesh G-string. The material is amazingly soft, with plenty of subtle lace details and a really flattering overall shape. This translated well in to the fit, which covered me completely from chest to mid-hip. Not only that, but any of the larger-chested ladies out there will be delighted to hear that this basque is underwired! I whooped with joy the second I saw that, as so often in pieces like this it’s the breast support that (pun intended) really lets me down.

The material is mostly a right matt red, but the lace around the front and chest has an iridescent quality to it. If you catch the light, it shimmers slightly, drawing the eye and adding another layer of appeal to the look as a whole. On top of looking good, every element of the material appears relatively durable and despite detail searching I have yet to find so much as a loose stitch.

The chest is well supported and effortlessly flattered, the tummy is skimmed over hiding those wobbly bits most of us like to draw attention away from, and the length of the lingerie means you’re left with a little bit of cheeky butt on display.

It is a halter neck, which gives another degree of freedom to find the right fit for you, and can be accessorised if you choose to with some stocking of your choice. All of this culminates in a really strong, sexy look.

Not only does it look good, but it feels good too. I was able to comfortably wear this for over an hour without so much as a scratch or readjustment required.

The only real let down is the underwear. They’re more of a cheap afterthought to the basque than anything. I would have loved to see some of the lace details carried over, as it would have really drawn the whole ensemble together. But hey, can’t win ‘em all.

In short, it’s a pretty basque set that fitted me well and shows no sign of deteriorating any time soon. If you’re close to my measurements and like the look of it, I’d highly recommend giving it a shot!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Fitted me well, and looked spectacular.

Cons: Afterthought undies.

Bottom Line: A solid piece of lingerie.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @MrSpaceMan, 20 Nov 2017
Lovehoney PRO-Stim Elite Silicone Prostate Massager

Perseverance is key

I have used this toy a good few times now as in my experience. It takes a while to get the full benefit of a prostate massager.

Firstly, the toy looks sleek and inviting. Nothing too scary. The silicone material feels really good against the skin and upon insertion. The tip of the toy is more bulbous, which provides a nice full sensation as you’re sliding it into the anus, and once fully inserted it nestles nicely against the prostate. The tip of the prostate massager is firm, which really helps to stimulate your P-spot. However, the rest of the toy is more flexible, e.g. the ring and the perineum tab.

My first couple of times using this toy, it took quite a while for me to massage my prostate, but once you manoeuvre the toy in the right way, those sensations come flooding in quickly. I have had some of the most intense orgasms using this in conjunction with masturbation.

When close to climaxing it felt like a wave came over me. I was breathing heavy and let out a loud involuntary groan. I must have came twice as much as the usual amount. I lay there in a state of shock and could feel the pulsation coming from deep within my anus. It’s safe to say I’ll be keeping this toy close by the bed in future.

For those of you lusting after the elusive hands-free prostate orgasm, I can’t say I have experienced one whilst using this toy. I personally feel like I may need some form of vibration to experience that. However, everyone is different and just because I haven’t been able to achieve one yet doesn’t mean you won’t.

All in all, this is a great value toy for those of you who are inexperienced in anal play and want to feel the benefit of prostate stimulation alongside masturbation.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy insertion and removal, enhances masturbation.

Cons: Haven’t yet achieved hands-free orgasm.

Bottom Line: Great aesthetic, great sensation, great value.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @PrincessSparkle, 10 Nov 2017
Lovense Nora App Controlled Rotating Rabbit Vibrator

Long Distance Loving

These were my partner (male) and my present to ourselves last Christmas as the distance between us was getting us down and we were craving some more intimacy. A lot of other distance app toys at that point were either iPhone only (blah) or very porn oriented, which we weren’t into, but Lovense seemed to be for, well, normal people, so we too the plunge and thought we’d give it a bash.

It was a very apprehensive time as they weren’t cheap, and I normally only buy from here!

We have the Nora (obvs) and the Max. I was pretty impressed when I got these. Nice packaging, neutral and informative. The photos on the Nora were fine, I don’t mind the toy being on the outside, and there was plenty of info about the toy, how to charge and connect it.

The vibe itself is great. The silicone is smooth and the bulb is delicious, though the plastic handle is a little tacky for something of this price. I do worry about the waterproof aspect too, and have used waterproof electrical tape over the seam on mine out of paranoia! There are no silicone seams though, and there’s just a little bit of flex to take from the rigidity. The buttons are easy to use, and the slender design makes it easy to hold. There is a little bit of weight to it denoting quality, but it’s not heavy on the hand.

The app is just as user-friendly, with simple controls for your toy or your partner’s. It’s downloadable from the Play store or their site. It took a few minutes to set up, and it’s all account based and passcode protected so you can only connect to devices you know and no randomers can connect to you unless you share your code. You can set it to remember your partner too, so it’s all ready to go for next time! The controls themselves have for yours or for your partner, and for each, there are up and down for patterns and up and down for intensity. There’s also a change direction button for the rotation of the Nora.

We use Hangouts or Skype, so we never really used the video function, but from the short explore, it’s hella battery draining. Connectivity wise, the wifi part is great with only a little delay (unnoticeable functionally) and the Bluetooth is surprisingly great too. After the fiasco of We-Vibe, I was worried, but I guess since parts of this toy remain external, it’s not as big of an issue. I will be very interested to see how it works on the plug and egg.

Charging wise, magnetics are great and waterproof, but you cannot nudge this thing or it will disconnect. Having a cat makes charging hard.

In play, this toy does require a lot of lube no matter how wet you get, but it feels great! The vibrations are strong and good quality and the patterns are alright too. I’ve not previously had a rotating toy and I didn’t know what I’d think, but I liked it a lot. The separate clitoral motor is a nice touch too, giving it that extra edge.

Obviously, the best thing about this is letting your partner control it, and while it gets a bit difficult manipulating a phone and toy, it’s well worth it. Nothing will ever compare to playtime together, but giving your partner that control and having that intimacy over distance does help bridge the gap a little.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Good quality, good connectivity, awesome being able to play whilst apart.

Cons: Nothing really. Bit more power is always nice.

Bottom Line: Well worth it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Kissedbyfire6, 27 Dec 2017
Lovehoney Hot Massage Rocks

Ultimate relaxer

My OH and I use Lovehoney regularly and we added the massage rocks to an order on a whim. We both enjoy giving and receiving massages and wanted to try something new.

I read through the reviews prior to purchasing these and another reviewer suggested boiling the kettle and bringing the rocks up to the bedroom in a bowl of hot water rather than just heating them in a pan. They do cool down fairly quickly, so I would recommend this strategy as well.

Do test the temperature of the rocks when you take them out of the water! They can get quite hot. I ended up having two out at a time (one in each hand) and rotating them with the rocks that were staying warm in the water.

We used them as massage tools (with massage oil) rather than just placing them on specific points on the receiver’s back. They cool down fairly quickly (a few minutes), but we didn’t find this was an issue with the way we were using them.

My OH commented that he didn’t realise how much tension he had in one side of his back until we started and that the rocks were really effective in relieving this. When giving the massage I found it much easier to get the pressure right for doing this than by just using my hands and I found it less tiring than a manual massage.

We switched round and I really enjoyed the smooth feel of the rocks. This was the most relaxing massage I’ve ever had! My heart rate on my Fitbit dropped down to 52 at one point! (My resting heart rate is 67.) They really do help to release tension and relax the receiver.

I would recommend these as a great purchase to treat your partner to some relaxation. They’re also a lovely way to build intimacy and spend some quality time together.

A word of caution: these are not good for foreplay. We were both far too relaxed and sleepy to even consider sex afterwards! We both had an incredible sleep though.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Super relaxing.

Cons: Too relaxed for sex afterwards.

Bottom Line: Brilliant purchase. I can’t wait for my next massage.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @belfastbloke, 4 Dec 2017
Lovehoney Perfect Pair Silicone Nipple Suckers

They suck… but in a very good way

My OH likes some nipple play and I was looking for a good way to introduce some toys into this element of things. After some searching, I spotted these, which looked like a fairly gentle first-time option (we’re exploring a bit more with toys but she’s a bit less adventurous than me).

They arrived with the usual Lovehoney speed and discretion. Discretion put to the test on this order as the postie ended up leaving it with our next door neighbour!

We’d a bit of a special day planned and she knew I’d made a couple of purchases but didn’t know what to expect. The box they come in is fairly basic but does the necessary job. They do look a little strange, and perhaps that was enhanced by choosing the black ones - a different colour might look a little softer.

However, with a bit of lube, they go on easily - reading the other reviews I was very wary of overdoing the suction. In the end, my OH wanted a bit more and she ended up squeezing them a bit more to increase the suction.

Left them on for the 10 mins or so that people had suggested and got on with “other things”… Their slightly stark look is actually quite kinky when they’re on. The suction got a bit of a test too and it was clear they weren’t just going to fall off… They can cope with a bit of bouncing around!

Anyway, when they came off we were both surprised and delighted in equal measure with the results. Normally her nipples obviously get a bit bigger when erect, but absolutely nothing like this. They seemed to have doubled in size. They looked absolutely fantastic and were just so much better to suck on. Initially, she said she didn’t think they were too much more sensitive, but from the reaction to even relatively gentle playing, I think it’s safe to say there was added sensitivity there too.

The absolutely stunning initial effect probably wore off relatively quickly (but could soon be brought back with a little mouth help!), but her nipples were noticeably bigger for at least a few hours in my view.

She didn’t complain about any soreness afterwards although said they were maybe a little tender. That might be down to the fact that as a first go I was conscious of being too rough with them…

Couldn’t recommend these little suckers enough and now I’m looking to see what she might think about the idea of using a clamp after the suckers.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The added sensation is good, but the visible effect is sensational.

Cons: Initially looked strange, but I now love how they look when they’re on.

Bottom Line: Fantastic first nipple toy with sensational results.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @_nin, 02 Dec 2017
Tease by Lovehoney Riding Crop

Crop

My back is a blank canvas

The first touch is a gentle caress

Barely brushing

Testing, exploring, travelling the expanse of skin

Nipping the nape

Skimming the shoulder

Seemingly lost

Swirling over muscles

Occasional snaps of impatience

But savouring the wait

Searching for the route

The spinal path leads there

Trembling buttocks

A shapely horizon

Anticipates the whistling wind

But all remains still

Time passes

Until the thunderclap announces the arrival

Pain.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Red heart.

Cons: Nil

Bottom Line: Croptastic.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @ParmaViolet, 14 Feb 2018
Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator

We Love It

I was in need of something a little different to add to my current collection. I’d been eyeing up the Desire range for a while and I’d seen some great reviews on this vibrator, so I thought - why not?

The vibrator comes with a small, black storage case. There is a Velcro-sealed pocket for safely storing your charger separate to the vibrator. The case is pretty solid and it feels secure. There is a small hole in the bottom corner of the case for discreet charging and this box would not raise any eyebrows if left out.

Importantly for me, there is more than enough room in the case for an additional small toy or two. Throw in a small tin of orgasm balm and you’ve got yourself a compact little clit-kit for your travels!

My initial reaction was that this toy was far smaller than I was expecting - this is not a bad thing. Thanks to the shape and size, it fits comfortably in my hand without feeling clumsy. I previously tried the We-Vibe Wish which, whilst comfortable to hold, I found the size to be cumbersome for me.

This vibrator is darker purple in real life than in the pictures, which I prefer. The plastic underneath is more of a shiny black colour. The silicone is silky smooth - to be honest, I’m sat here stroking it as I write this review!

The buttons click as you press them. This may not seem important, but I’ve had issues with previous toys where I’m not sure if I’m hitting the button right - a real mood killer during play time!

All in all, I couldn’t wait to give it a test run!

This vibrator is a joy to use. I was worried the wider tip might make it difficult to keep it in position (I often prefer more pin-point vibrators), but the tip found my clit without much effort. I soon realised I could just leave it there hands-free (with my pants holding it in place) and I still felt that the vibrations were not too spread out for me. The shape of this toy seems to fit perfectly to my body.

The toy is solid without feeling harsh. It does not flex and the silicone has a little give, allowing you to easily apply and adjust a comfortable pressure to your clit.

Now for the vibrations! I got a great build-up from just the lowest setting. The highest setting does not leave my clit feeling numb midway through, despite being powerful (for me). Although the toy does make a relatively loud buzzing sound on the higher settings, I do find the vibrations to be more of a rumble (which I personally prefer) and it doesn’t produce that dreaded tickling sensation.

I don’t generally use patterns for clitoral stimulation, but it seems to have a good standard selection. If you’d prefer to tailor your own vibration patterns, something from the We-Vibe range may be more up your street.

I love that the power and the patterns are controlled separately, so you can adjust the vibrations to your own preference. Some toys I’ve used in the past have only allowed you to use patterns on the highest vibration setting, which can sometimes be too intense. The separate controls are something that really appealed to me about the Desire range and it did not disappoint! I might even be tempted to try out some patterns since intensity won’t be a problem.

My husband loves the shape of this toy and likewise finds it easy to hold, which is encouraging for those with larger hands. He also loves the soft silicone and the fact its compact size means that it doesn’t get in the way when we use it together.

This is a lovely little vibrator which really packs a punch for its size. Beautifully sleek, it is a pleasure to use - or just to look at! This vibrator will definitely become a regular, for both solo play and with my husband.

If this is anything to go by, I will definitely be purchasing further toys from the Desire range.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Convenient storage case. Compact. Comfortable. Packs a punch.

Cons: Buzzy noise on higher settings.

Bottom Line: My clit’s new best friend (don’t tell the others)!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @borderlands2forever, 15 Feb 2018
Happy Rabbit 2 Natural USB Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

Amazing, life-changing fun for all levels

This is my first sex toy ever… A good friend recommended Lovehoney, and despite her suggestion of buying a bullet as my first sex toy, after a lot of browsing and reading I set my heart on this rabbit vibrator.

Although I have not used a sex toy before, I have had sex and I was worried that a bullet will not be enough simulation. On the contrary, the idea of a double simulation sounds really good. Plus, I have read good things about silicone as a sex toy material, and this toy looks really appealing to me (unlike some ugly ones which I just cannot bring myself to use). It’s also smaller than some other options, which I figure will be good for a newbie.

It took me a few days to gather enough courage to use it, and a few tries to get it right. (Let’s just say that my sex ed growing up was really horrible and even putting a finger inside my vagina to apply lube was new.) However, once I get it right… I have been wondering why I have waited so long to buy this. It is perfect.

I’ve tried a few more things (other rabbit vibes, other toys) since then, but nothing matches quite as well. It’s so worth every penny and would recommend to anyone.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything!

Cons: Nothing at all.

Bottom Line: Life-changing magic.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @ArtBabiee00, 26 Feb 2018
Fifty Shades Freed It’s Divine Black Glass Beaded Dildo

Beautiful and Versatile Wand

I’ve had my eye on this wand since the Fifty Shades Freed collection was first released, and I finally took the plunge and treated myself. Boy, am I ever glad I did! It’s not the most budget-friendly glass wand out there, but it did not disappoint.

First of all, it’s worth noting that my shipment arrived incredibly quickly - I ordered on a Saturday and my box came before noon on Monday! The box was discreet and securely taped!

When I first took this product out of the box, I was impressed with the quality of the packaging. The want came in a durable, high-quality box with the Fifty Shades logo printed on in a glittering gold. Inside, the wand sat in a plastic form that was fitted to the product, and beneath this plastic was the silky storage pouch.

Upon picking the wand up I found it incredibly cool to the touch - a very satisfying feeling. I haven’t had the chance to experiment with temperature play yet, but I can already tell that this want will be great for it. The wand itself is made of a beautiful reflective black glass. It looks so elegant and luxurious!

I was worried that this product would be too abrasive upon insertion, but it wasn’t at all! The bumps only heightened my sensations and made me feel incredible! I found the curve of this product was perfect for hitting me in all the right places. I love the versatility of being able to insert both ends, but I find that it is easiest for me to hold on to the more bulbous end.

Overall, this wand is striking, elegant, and effective. I have a feeling this is easily going to become a favourite in my collection.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Beautiful design, perfect curve, versatile and very effective!

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: An elegant wand that goes above and beyond to get the job done.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Katie_Q, 13 Feb 2018
Fifty Shades of Grey Something Forbidden Silicone Butt Plug

My favourite little secret

I must admit I’ve never read the books or seen the films but I’m certainly a fan of this beautiful little butt plug!

I really enjoy anal stimulation and find it send the power of my orgasms off the charts but have never been able to find anal penetration with a penis comfortable which is why this little beauty has been everything I’ve been looking for! Its size is non-intimidating and very comfortable whilst, for me, still giving just the right amount of delicious pain to really drive me wild. Upon insertion, I instantly get that tingle in my nipples and other areas that make me know I’m in for a great time.

Given its size, it’s the perfect plug for anal play novices who want to try the pleasure that anal can give without being put off by fear of something bigger than they can handle. It looks great, feels lovely and soft with a matte finish and the embossed logo combined with gorgeous packaging really gives it that luxurious feeling. The other upside to this is you can safely wear it anywhere, making a trip to the shops or train ride either with your partner or solo that bit more enjoyable!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Perfect size, comfortable, looks beautiful and feels great.

Cons: Nothing - I absolutely love this butt plug!

Bottom Line: An anal essential that will excite novices and the more experienced alike.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @LIL_KNOWN69, 30 Apr 2018
Lovehoney Royal Wedding Vibrating Love Ring

Dressed and ready for the big day

With the royal wedding just around the corner everyone likes to dress up and mark the occasion in a special way, and with the royal wedding vibrating love ring you can also make sure your member is ready for the occasion. With a whole host of lovely rings available online we saw this product and loved the gimmicky idea of having a toy to commemorate the royal wedding in such a way. We ordered the product and couldn’t wait to give it a royal road test.

The next day the product arrived as always, super discreet and speedy thanks to the excellent Lovehoney service and we raced upstairs to rip the box open and see what treats were in store for us. As we slid the knife down the centre of the box and slowly revealed the one ring to rule them all! Clasped in plastic in a very funny comic like packaging was the cock ring. An image of Prince Harry and Megs standing looking flustered and pointing to the beautiful ring. We laughed and couldn’t believe it, we just hope that somehow Meghan and Harry have received one of these for the big night.

The packaging was easy to open with two cardboard tabs which slide and free the cock ring from its little plastic enclosure, this was super easy and stress free which is great especially when you’re in the heat of things and just want to get things going instead of running around the house looking for scissors and other devices to open up some of the packaging we have encountered. Inside you receive the Limited edition vibrating cock ring and two LR41 batteries (already in the bullet so you can play straight away).

This is a basic but well-designed ring which stretches over your penis to the base or a dildo and allows both vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation through vibrations. The top of the ring has a nice detailed edge which looks similar to a wedding ring and has nubs and bumps to allow further stimulation and sensations when your partner or toy rubs against you. The silicone is very stretchy but smooth and comfortable for both the wearer and the receiving partner.

The toy has a removable bullet which you can slide out and twist open to change the batteries (the toy is shipped with two installed) and requires 2 LR41 batteries which are easily accessible in most stores. The removable of the bullet also allows you to submerge the rest of the toy and give it a full clean after use. This is a basic and single speed bullet which you simply press the button on the side to switch on and hold it down to switch it off after, you can also remove the bullet and use this for clitoral stimulation during foreplay or oral sex if required.

After opening the toy and having a few drinks we had plenty of laughs including my partner giving my manhood its full knighthood honour and we were really impressed at the quality for the price. The silicone is super smooth and well made which is what I expect from such a beautiful royal toy. We love the gimmick look of the cock ring and unlike other ones its very easy to wear and comfortable which is great, it also has quite a thing design which is nice as some tend to be big and bulky and turn your penis into some form of half robot half man type gadget which can be a little off-putting and make things really uncomfortable. But I slipped this over my member quite easily, even though I have quite a bit of girth it stretched to accommodate and I didn’t notice the plastic becoming thin or damaged which shows it’s of high-quality silicone.

The cock ring has a nicely detailed edge which when my partner and me were at full swing hit all the right spots in all the right places and gave the extra stimulation to my partner to really push her over the edge. We didn’t notice much of a sound coming from the toy either so if you do share a house this should be absolutely fine to use and maybe just a TV, music or going under the sheets may be required to muffle any sound. But for a basic and fun cock ring, it really did tick all the right boxes for us. As a first toy this would be ideal for couples, as clitoral stimulation isn’t very intrusive and the vibrations were strong enough for you to clench your toes but not too extreme to give you a bad experience.

We really do highly recommend this toy to mark the big day for Meghan and Harry and what better way to celebrate than between the sheets with your lover! The toy was silky smooth and easy for us both to operate so we give this a huge 10 out of 10. One thing I would love to say about this toy is the gimmick was not only fun but also exciting for us, we have tried a lot of toys which are very overly serious and tend to be a little clinical or boring in shape etc, but with this ring we found ourselves laughing, exploring and having fun with each other. This is exactly how we were when we first met and it really did bring back a lot of memories and made some new fun ones which we can add to our little adventure. Excellent work again to the team at Lovehoney for creating something wonderful.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: I love the perfect tightness, how easy it if to remove, and the powerful vibrations.

Cons: None.

Bottom line: Great cock ring for beginners. 10/10 would recommend.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @ParisintheSouth, 9 Apr 2018
Lovehoney Booty Shaker 10 Function Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug

Booty Shook

Me and my partner are going all out in the sexual department and vibrating things have always been a big interest so we thought this little plug would be perfect.

I got free 24-hour tracked delivery with my purchase and as always the delivery is impeccable. I’m a 19-year-old who still lives at home, so when someone from my household gets the order before I do the discreet packaging really comes in handy.

We were both very excited to get into this little beauty, the package is nice and simple and comes with batteries included which is always a bonus. The plug itself has a nice silky texture to it and came exactly how I expected.

Trying it out for the first time was definitely a treat. It’s a very nice size and is very easy to slide in with a little lube. So I gave my partner the remote to use on me and the vibrations even on the lowest were strong and enjoyable. The noise isn’t too loud when inserted and is easily muffled with some background noise, like TV or music.

We then tested how it would feel inserted during sex and it is out of this world. I could tell my partner enjoyed it not only from his constant positive feedback but from the look on his face. Both of us were more than impressed and didn’t even have a chance to use the highest tempo before we both finished.

I’m in absolute awe of this product and love everything about it, the added wireless remote control adds a whole new element of surprise and just ease!

All I could comment on negatives is that it is a little small and has a tendency to push itself out, I think it is the perfect size for double penetration other than that.

Would 100% recommend, this is definitely my best buy from Lovehoney so far!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: 100% would recommend.